olderbutnotwiser
Caring for my mom Member since May 07, 2011I'm the oldest of four daughters. We also have three brothers; everyone's sort of spread out in the eastern US. Mom has ALZ and has been living at 3 of her daughters' homes for 4 years now. When it's too cold for her (most of the time, unfortunately) she is in Florida. I have been flying with her and staying where she stays most of the time. My sisters gave me a break this past summer, and I got some real quality time with my husband (we're retired). We are now living with one of my sister's in FL. The problem we have is with the youngest sister who is adored by Mom yet doesn't visit as much as we'd like. We are seen as the "mean" ones when we speak ill of her or remind Mom that we're a little tired of hearing her praises. I know it sounds like sour grapes, but all three of the sisters have mentioned it at various times during the past four years. At any rate, Little Sis doesn't see this as her problem, although at times we have argued with her. What she doesn't see is when Mom wakes up after her infrequent visits and is upset and confused because she doesn't understand why we don't call Little Sis more or go to her home. Mom and I spent about 45 minutes today in a discussion which confused us both. Firstly because she uses the wrong daughter's name when she talks about us and I couldn't follow her questions or understand what she was upset about. Finally, only solution I have come up with is to accept the blame and apologize and we pray for me to find more patience. This helps her calm down, usually. Thank you for letting me vent.