Granny2Grandsons
Member since May 03, 2010October 4, 2011 - Served with divorce papers after 37-1/2 years of marriage! He states "incompatible" - I'm stating "abandonment"! Finally, I know which direction we are going - so many times I've heard about counselling and reconcilliation! What a load of crap it turned out to be - never happened - never attempted! He says he "can't deal with what the future may hold with my brain lesion and doesn't have the time to help me, if needed".
In March 2011, I found out that I have a right frontal lobe brain lesion. It wasn't upsetting as you might think - it was a relief - I thought I was going nuts! I was forgetting things, falling for no reason without any indication that I was about to fall. It was very scary, often I wondered how long I was "out". My little 5-lb. minature dachshund would be sitting right in front of my face waiting for me to open my eyes. I would check all arms, hands, legs and feet to make sure it was okay to get up! It scares me that living alone, how long would it be for my family to discover anything happened.
The other problem caused by the lesion - memory problems. Keeping a sense of humor really helps - only if I remember when I feel really "down" that so many others have worse problems. What I don't understand is - why my husband and daughter act as if nothing is going on? I have always been a very caring and giving person - I just don't "get it" that they prefer to ignore me and don't want to be bothered! What is happening to people nowadays? When did this start changing that you "don't care about family members?" Oh well, I'm just very lucky and thankful to God that it is not cancerous! Just a "new life of adjustments"!
I am the surviving member of my childhood family - no one to share memories like my Mom and brother would with me - we would laugh so hard, our sides would hurt and/or tears would fall. There is an "eldest" sibling that the family disowned 20+ years ago from the mental and physical abuse done to all of us. My son died in a car accident at the age of 17 - he was my "buddy". I do have a daughter with two beautiful Grandsons.
My depression and now panic attacks (brought on because of the lawsuit) have yet to go away. I'm still looking for "closure" for my Mom and brother. My brother was Mom's Executor and 11 months younger than me. He unexpectedly passed away 20 months after Mom. The three of us were extremely close and my brother taught me a lot about home health care! We were both there for Mom - something we promised her after Dad passed away (6 months after my son). We were so proud of ourselves for keeping our promise to Mom! Mom never lost her sense of humor and she had wonderful "words of wisdom" before she passed. I'll never forget the advice nor will I ever forget the experience! She wasn't just a Mom but my best friend! All three of us would sometimes just want to talk not hear advice which was very much appreciated - it was always great to have someone to "bounce things off on". None of us would give advice unless it was requested. We respected each other.
I miss my son, Mom, Dad, and brother so very much. I live alone now - rarely get to see my Grandsons unless I get their sport schedules (which I usually get from my ex-son-in-law)! My husband and daughter just don't understand nor will they even read information I supply so that they could help me. They just can't be bothered! Thank goodness, I do have a very special best friend that has been through everything I have been through - we have helped each other along the way of losing our family members - our relationship is over 15 years old. If it wasn't for her, I don't know what I would be at now!