AlinC
Member since August 14, 2012Is there a max # of.characters.allowed? I can write a lot lol, but ill just tell you the story of my life as brief as I can. Ok, I'm.34 diagnosed with ulcerative colitis when I was 17, Year after mom died. I believe.my illness has a.great deal of connection with.mqoms death and.repressed memeorials & emotions. In 2007... Gotextremely sick lost soo.much weight ..lowest was 76 lbs. It hurt to.drink water and I.had to.eat baby.food. during .this time.my cat became ill and passed.away ( I went on vacation to ca for 2 long, I let my step mom watch her.but she was confided to 1 room and no.one.payed attention to her. She stopped.eating and weeks after.I arrived home she was fine again, but the.damage was done.. fatty.liver disease. It really.rocked.my world and I am the one responsible. From 07-09 my illness only got.worse. I.couldn't work., slept.all the time and found out why. Anemia real bad when they discovered it. No wonder I couldn't breathe. I had to get iron infusions every 3 months or.so. I went to the.Mayo Clinic in 09. Diagnosed withCrohns colitis,.osteoporosis. This illness ruined so many of my relationships. Family relationships. Had moved back to Syracuse and was living in the home.I bought to fix.and.sell. I was home bound, what better job to have when you're stuck . Being an hr. From home with no socialife, spending all my time alone mostly.researching this horrible disease that so many people.have was a daily routine. Ya know the.saying "when life gets tough, all ypu have is.your.family? Not mine. They never called, my close aunt that was my main support straight up abandoned me for 5 years, family talked behind my back negative words saying I.was stealing when I.came home to visit but didn't visit anyone or call. I was anemic and wipped out... All I did was sleep sleep and get more sleep. To the family 1 person inparticular suggested that maybe I was taking things at grandmas house, that.was where I always stayed ..when I came to visit.until she was unsafe to live alone. Her dementia really went into fullforce. Now she is in a nursing home. She took me in after my mom died and mothered me when my stepmother mad it impossible for me to live at my.fathers' house. All the close people have left me either by choice or from natural events of life. Or are Alive but is not.aware of anything..I'm talking about my grandma. There's so much.other stuff.I can mention that would probably leave you in shock. I will say that another loved one.. my grandpa passed away 2.months ago. The man that was so much more of a father to me than my real one. Through it all I have reached remission. I can leave the.house without needing to know where all the bathrooms are and maybe I can have.a social life again. Sometimes I feelike.I'm losing it though. Physically I am muuuch better,.emotionally i feel like I really need professional help. Not a therapist, I need a psychologist because I never get anywhere with therapists. Tried many... They all failed me. I feel like I have multiple issues and repressed grief.. I.need someone that can help the basketcase client (yes.. me). I'm not at all.ashamed to say I'm a damn trainwreck. I look fine and can function normally in social situations. But I require a lot of time alone. I need it to stay sane.
Some other things about me - writing and researching about safe treatments, possible cures for Crohns is my obsession, helping others who need support, art whether its digital graphics or drawing, I make jewelry, I'm super clever and can make something out of nothing, I love buildings and have a love for the ugly ones that need a makeover. music ..... I need it! Good conversations with good people, I love CA and want.to go back there for a.while....my interests are.many. I think I've provided some details.that can help someone know me a little better. If not, just.ask.