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General Residential Care Concerns Questions

134 Question and Answer Results

  1. Can a medical director make the decision to stop life support?

    If there was a clear advance directive appointing the wife as agent or that specified specific kinds of care the patient wanted to have administered and those written wished were ignored, then the medical director's actions may technically have overstepped his or her legal bounds.
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  2. Should I consider memory care community placement for my spouse with dementia?

    There is no right way or wrong way to care for someone with dementia. It sounds to me as if your husband's care, with helpers and with friends has become a way of life that suits you. What you might want help with is learning to trust yourself. Not trusting is what often leads to stress. Whether you...
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  3. Can I force Dad to go into a nursing home?

    The question about whether you can force your parent to move to a nursing home if he doesn't want to go can get complicated. If you have no power of attorney, and he is not mentally incapacitated, you can't force him. If he is a danger to himself or others, there may be some exceptions. Sometimes...
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  4. Will Medicaid exempt long standing support payments in their look-back period?

    There are actually two different parts to the relationship between your mother's support for her son and her application for Medicaid coverage of nursing home care.
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  5. How do I coordinate a move for an uncooperative movee?

    You didn't let me know where you live but if you want a professional to help you need to go to NASMM.com. Then you would go to the state you live in and find a professional closest to where you live. Also do you have other siblings? Have you tried tough love? Calling 3 times a day may be too much. S...
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  6. Why is my father's oncologist making him choose between chemotherapy or hospice?

    I do not know why your father's oncologist is saying that now he must choose between chemotherapy and hospice. There may be a reason, such as the lymphoma might be growing and it is important to treat it now. If that is so, your oncologist ought to be able to explain it. If your father is not happ...
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  7. Costs of assisted living/memory care facilities are breathtaking! Will they accept patients with early-severe stage AD?

    Thank you for adding that information.
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  8. Can a rehab facility require that a wife follow their careplan upon discharge?

    Plans of care are subjective. An assisted living facility does not provide the right care as you have described, so it should not even be an option. Adult protective services in most states require that care be administered so that a person is not being harmed, or is not harming himself. Skin breakd...
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  9. How detailed can the decision-making of a durable power of attorney extend?

    Even without looking at the specifics of the documents naming your sister as agent for your mother, it seems clear that she is overreaching her powers. It is unlikely, for example, that her authority extends to that vegetarian Chihuahua"”a description which, I admit, was a welcome smilemaker in the ...
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  10. How to make a home safe for someone with Parkinson's?

    I'm not sure whether I understand the question. Medicare won't pay for the actual care giving. They will pay for the equipment that the doctor orders.
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  11. What Is the ADL Scale?

    Tools such as the ADL or Katz scale can be helpful on helping you to think about assisted living or in-home care. They say the Katz is better for rehab than assisted living. But, I wouldn't take any tool as the sum total of a person's life. The scales try to measure whether you can cook, bathe, wa...
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  12. How do you explain to someone that they are going into respite care for 1 week and then permanently into a nursing home?

    This is a very tough issue.  It is difficult to explain to someone, especially if they were living independently, that they are going to move into a nursing home.  The best advice I can give is to be direct and try to answer any questions as honestly as possible.  If your loved one wants to know the...
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  13. How do I distance myself from my siblings and honor Mom's wishes?

    It sounds as if you are at a sort of impasse in a conflict with your siblings over your mom's care. First of all, as you are the primary caretaker of your mom, it is important that you try as best you can to honor her wishes. You did not mention whether you have a health care proxy (living will, h...
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  14. Mom's nursing home is kicking her out, but I can't care for her in my home. What do I do?

    You appear to be looking for options when your mother is evicted from a nursing home. First, I would seek a complete medical evaluation of your mom. If her behavior is a problem, there may be medical reasons which have not been fully considered or appropriately treated. Seek the input of a neurol...
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  15. How to help my mother at home after her stroke?

    This is a very challenging situation and it sounds like there are some potential dangers that need to be addressed. If your mother is wandering to the point that you're afraid she'll leave in the middle of the night, her dementia needs to be managed. You can safeguard your mother with an ID bracelet...
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  16. Should we move dad closer while he is experiencing paranoia?

    Sorry to hear of the trouble with your parents. Paranoia is not really an illness, but a symptom of an underlying condition, either physical or mental. A large per cent of paranoia symptoms in older age are caused by medications and how they mix. Also, they are often caused by withdrawal from med...
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  17. How do I advise my mother that it is time to move to an assisted living facility?

    I don't think "advise" is necessarily the best way to approach your mother. In my experience, when a child tries giving a parent advice, even with the best intentions, the parent digs her heels in and won't budge. Another way to approach this situation is for you to start making notes about the heal...
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  18. How do we help my mom, who has moved into an assisted living facility, "say goodbye" to her old home?

    I think it's very important to let her say goodbye as long as she is of sound mind and can understand that that is what she is doing. However, you mentioned she was forgetting to eat and drink. That is not a good sign -- have you had her evaluated for dementia? If not, that may be something to consi...
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  19. My elderly mother has anxiety disorder and is fine when feeling well but uncontrollable when ill. Is it time for assisted living?

    Assisted living is restricted to those who can care for themselves but require help with meals, personal hygiene, housekeeping and some routine items such as medications. If your mother's periodic illness requires more care than this, consider other options such as an in home health care agency duri...
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  20. When is the best time to sell a parent's home when they live in an assisted living facility and won't be returning?

    If your mother transferred her home to you and your sister in 2002 and she's no longer able to live in the home and isn't likely to return to it in the future, the decision whether to sell the home becomes a business decision for you and your sister.
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