Give Yourself Five: 5 Sanity-Savers for Caregivers

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While being a caregiver for an elderly loved one can be deeply rewarding, it can also be extremely stressful. During those moments when your nerves are frayed and your patience is wearing thin, there are some helpful techniques you can use to remove yourself from the situation and calm down. Sidestep letting strong feelings get the best of you by remembering to "give yourself five" when you're steaming. What's great about this little mantra is that it can take so many different forms:

1. You could take five (literal) steps back from the situation if your loved one with dementia has become belligerent.

2. Count to five before you answer if you're stuck in a cycle of repeated questions or comments.

3. Take five whole minutes to yourself (set a timer!) if you're just worn out. While you relax, put on a surefire calming television program or hand the person with dementia a favorite snack and leave the room (if you're sure he or she will be safe).

4. When you can't escape physically, imagine five nice things you'd do for yourself if you could. Sometimes just picturing a spa day or a chocolate cake in vivid detail is a tiny bit like experiencing the real thing.

5. Take five deep breaths: Inhale deeply through the nose, hold it for a count of five, then it let it out slowly through the mouth. Repeat five times. Nobody will notice you're stepping back from the edge of a cliff as you breathe.

Paula Spencer Scott

Paula Spencer Scott is the author of Surviving Alzheimer's: Practical Tips and Soul-Saving Wisdom for Caregivers and much of the Alzheimer's and caregiving content on Caring. See full bio