Return to Article 8 months ago, Starfaced said... Oh and something else that I've tried that might work with other problem areas.....there is no point in trying to coax them out of Depends by talking it to death, Now I say, the trash is gong out, I need the Depends. Works every time. It puts the oneous on trash day....not my fault. I have a fresh one to exchange, a towel to sit on, I'm there for pulling off shoes and positioning the pants back for each foot.. 8 months ago, Starfaced said... These are great suggestions, all. My 96 year old dad is much easier to assist in showering because of suggestions I've used from this board. I find that the rubbery shelf paper from the dollar store works wonders, it steadies him. I use highly watered down shampoo in a squirt bottle for uhhhh, creavices, nooks and crannies, he finishes off from there. I watched a caregiver give him a shower and picked up a good tip by watching, I had him step out of the shower, and twice he has had a fall. The step is slight, but his feet give out somehow and I'm standing right there..........she had him go out sideways, That's it! Now I say, step out like coming out of a phone booth...and he does and it works. I can put my hand on his back waist and I think that helps too. Best thing about the comments here is...quiet down, The voice booms with all that tile. Cover mirrors, use lots of towels, give the person something light to hang on to, to be pre-occupied. IKEA has several plastic chairs which can be used in the shower and they do online ordering for shipment, Encourage your loved one to get as far as the chair, now when comfy, take off the robe.... now use the hand held spray to the feet, now the other body sections. No rush. Music in the background, lower your voice. Let the oersted n be in charge, Would never wash hair in the shower, I use the sink for myself, its too disorienting for me in the shower, I use the sink for hair washing, a separate activity. Thank all of you for the wonderful suggestions and supportive advice on this site. Wish there were a Facebook page so everyone can see. I think we have a Movement coming on....keep 'em home as long as we can, teach others, be there with patient understanding for both Patient and Caregiver. 8 months ago, Ssalonga said... Hello could you please give me any helpful advice on helping dementia sufferers With their hygiene. My husband's father recently passed leaving behind his wife in the latter stages of dementia. Were waiting on dr. Diagnosis for respite care. I'm new to caregiving,and unfortunately the only family member willing to care for her. She is aggressive and hostile to any suggestions of hygeine. Tried many many suggestions that I read above..still not helping. Thank you 12 months ago, a fellow commenter said... I am taking care of my boyfriends mom. I have been for over a year now. We us to take her swimming because she refuses to shower or take a bath now it's cold she has not showered in 2 months and is urinating in bed at night and is blaming me for putting a hose in her bed and wont let me clean her or her bed and wont change her cloths. Now hiding her teeth as well help what do I do its causing me and everyone around to argue because I'm not taking care of the problem only complaining but have tried everything I know to help now she hates me should I just quit let someone new come in about 1 year ago, Eirinikay said... I have been an aide for Alzheimer patients for over 20 years. I have just started a one on one with a new client that is the most resistant to personal care case that I have encounter in my whole carrier. She has only had two other aides work with her and they started when her Alzheimers was not as bad as today. She accepts their help and is very pleasant and affectionate to them. From day one she has been on the negotive tworads me. Her answer always no. She also will cringe when I go to touch her. I managed to get through that and her accepting everything from me except personal care. She even jokes with me and talks pleasantly and lets me touch her hand briefly. But once she is incontinent she shuts down and will not allow me to help her change no matter any of the know approches I use. The amazing thing is yesterday her son came and he pushed for her to let me change her after having a BM in her depends. He got fustrated and left. I was gentle and after he left she let me help her change. For the rest of the day she let me help her with wiping up after toilet use and personal care on her bottom with creams. Changing her clothes and depends too. We had a great day we went for a drive, played cards, walked. She even allowed me to give her a hug for good night. I really felt we had finaly clicked. We went to bed and she slept well through the night. Unfortuanatelly when she woke up this morning she is acting the same way she did the first day I came. Even cringing when I tried to touch her. She woke up with her deppends soaked and refuses to let me help her take them off. She is roaming around the house because she is uncomftorble but leaves when I approach her and for the first time asked me to leave. Please if you have any ideas as how to get through her walls I would appreciate the help. over 1 year ago, jill lou jurica said... Hello, I have a question. My patient is now incontinent at night. I clean her up with all the right products but I am finding that she still has a bad order in her personal area with all that hair. I want to shave most of the hair off to keep her from also sweating down there because she can't walk now and sits and I feel if I could shave that area and keep it cleaner she would not have a bad order. Does anyone have any suggestions or have keep them trimmed short in that area and if so how did you do it. Did you shave it or use electric razor etc. I thought about nair but you have to keep it on for 15minutes before washing off and my patient won't sit that long with that stuff on her. Also the other caregiver did it once but said since then she won't let her do it. Could anyone tell me how or if they have had to shave down there for better hyg. thanks Jill about 2 years ago, RobinSez said... Great suggestions! I'll have to try some with my dad - especially on the same clothes and bating. By the way, Depends are the best invention EVER - no leakage and they hold an amazing amount of liquid! I'm kind of surprised dad is not even embarrassed to walk through the store with a big box of his "special underwear." over 2 years ago, Starfaced said... So many comments about difficulty bathing, we have to get our heads together. A radio nearby with classical music, it's a distraction at the same time as being a comfort. Think of how you used a wind up musical stuffed animal for baby's nap. Pretty soon it was an association. Let's use a calendar or Day Board with magnets to indicate when the last shower day was. Hang it in the hallway and make a big deal about doing the entry. My dad came with the warning that he refused female assistance for bathing. Got rid of that rule right away, I guess I did it by assuring I would stay on the other side of the shower curtain, and now I don't even affirm it, he's used to it. I make a solution of shampoo, one part shampoo to five parts water. I squirt where it needs to go, and he rinses. I hold the hand held at the conclusion of the shower while he soaps face and ears, I tell him I'll hold the shower steady while he 'walks in' to the shower spray, he can use both hands while I hold the spray. The whole time I'm assuring him that he's in charge, I can' t see through the curtain, I say, he's the boss, we're almost done. As far as changing clothes, I think the poster who is 'trading' soiled clothes for 'new ones', has the right idea. Best way of handling a two-year-old as well.....trade. Pretty soon the object is the trading and the deal gets done. Oh, and invest in some shower curtains from the dollar store....less expensive than a lot of protective things for the bed, should always have some on hand. As I posted earlier, the motion detecting lights are great for not only lighting the way to the bathroom, but alerting you that the patient is moving about. They're less than twenty dollars each and the batteries last for four or five months. For the hard core parent in hygiene denial, your family will just have to hire somebody to come in an hour a day for bathing assistance and nothing else. Soon she'll be more agreeable to family help, but if not, you deserve a break from a problem like that. Do a round robin with all the siblings, come and help Mom or pay your way out of a turn, it has to be done. over 2 years ago, lucaw said... I was reading this because we are having bathing issues and trying to confront and deal with my mom in a new assisted living home. She is very combative and rude to the aides and refuses to shower. We are trying to figure this out. I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but I see a few mentions of the elderly driving when they should not. We thought this about my mom for a while and worried that she might hurt someone else. I guess I never really thought the other person would be my father- in the passenger seat- as the victim of us not having the courage to face the driving issue. He was. Please face this issue early on when you need to and avoid tragedy. I wish us all peace and solutions to our problems as caregivers. over 2 years ago, a fellow commenter said... Thank you for the information it is pratical also truthful and helpful. over 2 years ago, a fellow commenter said... My mom won't use the bathroom in the middle of the night. She urinates in a container. How ken I get her to use the bathroom again? over 2 years ago, Rabbit71 said... Thanks for all those tips. I'm at wits end with trying to get my husband to bath. It's funny because he has just been diagnosed. This has been a persistent symtoms for a year now. His memory is still ok. He doesn't communicate much and has thrown hygiene to the wind. I find it so curious as to this being a symptom. over 2 years ago, vrf19977 said... Thank you for the suggestions! My dad is late-stage Alzheimer's and has begun resisting things like showering, shaving, and changing his clothes. I'm sharing this article with my mother, who is his main caretaker. over 2 years ago, Starfaced said... Oh and for the shaver recommendation, we got two different types of Norelco. One is the three circular heads, the other one is beard trim straight across single head. They're rechargeable and he seems to like them both. I think the answer is, have the shaver by his t.v. chair. Doing it in the bathroom might be noisy and uncomfortable and long in time. Let him shave in his favorite chair. And as for dressing, folks....remember that you have something that made you feel fat, or pinched or felt too starched. And you avoided that clothing. Find out what the fave article has going for it, and duplicate it in the wardrobe. Research easy accessible clothing on the web, there should be a lot more out there, but at least there's some. I can see my golden years from where I'm standing, I'm glad these helping things are starting to emerge. over 2 years ago, Starfaced said... So many good ideas here...even in the questions!! My 94 year old dad is much improved in this last year. He came here on meds for sleeplessness. When I did a search on tbe web, out went the pills, it's a drug for psychotic behavior, oh and it makes you sleepy. Previous caregivers said they used it only sporadically. I believe getting rid of it is in part responsible for his huge improvement. The doctor said, 'welcome back to the land of the living' when he saw him after eight months and noted his improvement. Everything is great except the hassle bathing, and it's impossible to get him outside in the sun for twenty minutes. The answer to the shower problem lies with an easy to use shower. They are not all that costly, and the family should have thought ahead, shame on you if it wasn't planned for, fix it now. You can't exoect somebody to wobble nakedly into a monster filled with water. Change is needed. If you don't have a place for a nice one-piece fiberglass shower, then remove the existing tub and put it there. A hand held showerhead, a chair that's waterproof, and---make sure you quiet things down, voices reverb....cover mirrors with towels so as not to confuse. Give the patient half a bottle of shampoo to hold as a distraction. I was long into the process, and mind you, the walk-in shower is a dream, easy, comfortable, soothing, temperature-controlled, you can't get scalded...then I realized....it was a tad slippery. I used rubberized shelf roll from the dollar store. Bingo, that solved the problem. Take a good look at what you are asking of the patient....chances are, the tub is scary. Get a good fiberglass shower installation. It would be a medical expense for handicapped, worth twice the price if it eases the problem. Find Light It!, it's a porch light that can be used inside and will light Gram's way to the bathroom, buy a few, you will love this thing because it will alert you to her movement as well as light her path. And, for the indelicate problems mentioned. We solved the odiferous problem within two days. Used Glyco Thymaline which has been around for a hundred years, it's bottled as mouthwash, but the characteristic is that of alkalizing. Objectionable odor gone by 60 percent in day one after a tablespoonful in water, gone in Day Two with the second dose. End of problem. Great ideas here. Like the idea of same time everyday for the shower, don't ask, just start the process ( but please--look at your setup....are you asking this person to go into the belly of a whale? Install a shower with a seat). And the same ritual. The iPad has been an enormous success. I can YouTube Rocky Marciano and Babe Ruth, The Price Is Right, an hour of Frank Sinatra. Shower, IPad and a tea break----life is good. You can put grandkids pictures and the patient can fall in love swiping through all the pics, it's a family album slideshow. With so many apps, you can find soothing sounds or your patient's comfort music. It's now known that the music recognition part of the brain is 'last to go'. We should all be using music instead of pills. And thank you for this page. If we can network and share tips and secrets, we can pass it to the next generation. We owe these people our very world. They fought and won World War Two.....we owe them the best that we can do, and we can do it by networking together. almost 3 years ago, Lost in Georgia! said... My mother-in-law is 73 years old and has "mild cognitive impairment" according to her neurologist but needs further testing to determine extent and diagnosis (suspect vascular dementia). She is resistant to this further testing, says she doesn't want to know. The problem is she has not bathed more than 2x a week for the last 20 years and in the last 5-10 her showers last approximately 3 minutes. She wears depends and often has accidents but only changes her clothes afterwards and does not wash. Usually it is just urine but occasionally it is bowel incontinence. She smells very badly most of the time, suffers from frequent UTI's, urinates on floor quite often when she does make it to the bathroom and NEVER washes her hands. The infrequent bathing, lack of hand washing and not bathing after accidents has gone on for at least 15-20 years. With frequent falls, car accidents (yes, she is still driving) it became apparent that she and my father-in-law can no longer live on their own. However, mom maintains that she is a perfectly capable adult. When odors get especially bad my husband orders her to take a shower and 3 minutes later she's back out. We simply don't know what to do about this situation. I would be happy if she would bathe 2x a week (provided she also bathes after major accidents) but we don't know how to make this happen. Everything we try to make her do results in arguments and is she gets too upset dad sides with her and we are the bad guys. I don't think her refusal to bathe (or change clothes) is fear based and she is very modest and will not allow assistance. She also has no shame. She has had fecal incontinence in public, used a public restroom to clean up, and has wanted to continue with her shopping plans despite being told she smells of feces. Her pants have fallen down around her ankles on more than one occasion in public and she just pulls them up and continues on her way. She has been told she smells by her children and their spouses, her husband, and her grandchildren multiple times over the last 20 years. I can't believe this is all being called "mild" cognitive impairment. My husband and myself moved in with them 2 weeks ago. We are trying to get things on track. I have been making sure she gets her medications every day and that is going fine, now it's time to tackle hygiene. I am also working on finishing her neurological evaluation but since they relocated to Georgia we have to start over with a new set of doctors. She seems willing to give me medical power of attorney as well. In the meantime, how do you get someone who is convinced they are perfectly capable to bathe? Another factor is that my in-laws are too well off financially to qualify for assistance but not so well off that they won't be destitute before too long if they have to pay out of pocket for care, which is why we are trying to care for them at home for as long as possible. Wow, I just wrote a novel and it's only been 2 weeks! almost 3 years ago, a fellow commenter said... You recommend cornstarch powder to dry folds but that is dangerous because it is able to grow bacteria because it's a food source. Talcum powder is a better option. almost 3 years ago, froggypool said... my mom is in early dementia and always "puts off " a shower. when she does get in the shower she doesnt use soap[ or shampoo. she just gets wet. i don't know if she thinks she has bathed or what. any ideas? over 3 years ago, Ralph C. said... Interesting, my wife truly thinks she showers everyday. I try to get her to shower once a week. The bathtub doesn't work as she has gained a lot of weight and I would not be able to get her out of the tub. over 3 years ago, Susieginaz said... I've been the caregiver for my mother in our home since Nov 2011 and the hygiene, or lack there of, is unbearable in our home. Mom always disputes the fact that she can take care of herself because shes a grown woman (of 82) Your advice about bathing and how to go about it sounds wonderful! I will try it all and I thank you in advance! over 3 years ago, pinkiepie67 said... I would like some advice. I am caring for my grandmother who is 93. She has had terrible bowel incontinence for the past few weeks. This is several times a day. I am doing my best to keep her clean. However, it's difficult holding her up and cleaning her bottom the same time. She is very confused and hardly eats. I give her drinks as she can't do it herself anymore. She is now bedridden and I see her declining before my very eyes. She is a little dehidrated because she only likes a few sips out of her special feeding cup. Is this normal for her to have so many bowel movements with very little food. I need advice that i am doing everything right. I use bed pads and pull up diapers for extra protection. over 3 years ago, NEEDING HELP! said... This was very helpful, though I still have a question. I do not enter the scene until afternoon and stay until live-in boyfriend arrives in evening. The lady I am caring for refuses to have her hair washed weeks at a time. Her sons feel I am not doing my job. She refuses to leave house to go to hairdresser; occasionally allows me to wash. HOW do I get her to allow washing of hair? HELP!!!! over 4 years ago, Arnie Kingston said... My 94-year old mother is in the mid-stage of Alzheimer's disease. She has started to leak urine at night while sleeping. She apparently doesn't get to the toilet fast enough. The problem does not extend to the day time because we can monitor her toilet usage. How do I get her wear protective undergarments to bed at night? Any ideas? over 4 years ago, alwaysn2it2 said... A friends husband is wetting himself all the time, (which, in itself is problematic) now he has begun removing his pants all the time and going bare bottomed. Urine, or worse wherever he has decided to sit or lay down. Help. Is this a sign of dementia? over 4 years ago, beanbag said... how do you move a 217 lb. man, and get him to bathe or put clean clothes on, he will not go with me to the store anymore. He no longer helps me at all around the house. He still drives and does a good job. He likes to go play cards. He knows the way home in the daytime but gets lost at night so I tell him to be home before dark. This usually works. He carries a cell phone. I worry someone at the card table will object about his uncleanliness, and say something and cause a scene. I try and let him do things as long as he can, because I feel he will loose the ability to think for himself even quicker . He may also get embarrassed and start staying home but just sit on the couch and do nothing over 4 years ago, RosaR said... Hello, Thank you for reaching out to Caring.com for assistance in your caregiving needs. I am sorry to hear of the challenges you are facing. Here are a few additional resources that may be helpful: There are articles, tips, techniques on Caring.com's Alzheimer and Dementia Resource Center. Several of the articles reference how to handle difficult behaviors and hygiene issues. To locate the Alzheimer and Dementia Resource Center go to http://www.caring.com/alzheimers. You also may want to contact your local Area Agency on the Aging. The provide information and resources within your community that may be helpful. To locate the nearest Area Agency on the Aging go to http://www.caring.com/local/area-agency-on-aging. Finally you may want to contact your spouses doctor by telephone and share your experiences. He/she may be able to guide you into a direction that would be helpful. If I can direct you to other resources, please let me know. over 4 years ago, beanbag said... You have good ideas about problems with bathing and wearing of the same clothes. But none of these are working and my husband i beligerent and combative. He is strong and I am frightened that I will get hurt. I have MS and limmited strength. How can I get him to a doctor when he refuses to go or how do I get him evaluated for some home care or hospital care. I am afraid he my also have late stage diabetes. When should I say, call parametics to take him to the hospital to see a doctor. Some times he is very lucid and then next he is just nasty and smelly and mean. almost 5 years ago, EileenM said... I have learned to go into Mom's room matter-of-factly. I gather her dirty clothes, refill toilet paper and pads, and grab her towels without a fight by engaging in conversation about something else and do it QUICKLY. She used to get upset if I touched anything of hers. Now, after 2 years of trial and error, I can keep her from wearing the same clothes over and over. I still have to "forget to close her bedroom door" so I can get it aired out every now and then, but now she has to wear fresh clothes! about 5 years ago, Joycel said... These were all good pointers, which I've ended up learning on my own. These do work. over 5 years ago, Jen L. said... Your site has some really helpful information. We invite you to read our articles about oral health topics and comment on our blog at http://www.dentalinsurance.org/blog/index.php/2012/09/regular-brushing-linked-to-lower-dementia-risk/. over 5 years ago, J C said... On the toileting issue, after non-stop washing of the bathroom rugs & clothes, pj's I finally realized that my mom needed depends & a protection pad in bed & even on a chair (I covered this one by a pretty towel). On the not changing clothes issue, I would help my mom get ready for bed & I'd hang up the clothes that she had worn (to one side in the closet if they were still clean) and I'd set out an outfit for the next day. Later I'd wash clothes including some of the clothes that I had put back in the closet. I've done this for over 3 years and it works great. over 5 years ago, Diana060 said... what if they sleep in their clothes for 3 weeks I have tried to tell her to change and she won't she gets nasty very nasty I am not a professional she won;t let anyone help her this is where she needs a professional my father cannot reason with her she is on problem. He knows she needs help and he is in denial and it is making things worse I am at my wits end- she needs a doctor and medication. HELP over 5 years ago, BluebirdVH said... Am looking to purchase a DURABLE & EFFECTIVE electric razor for grooming my Dad & having extreme difficulty locating one. We have been through 3 in the last 12 months. Have checked at local barber/beauty suppliers & online to no avail. Any suggestions ? about 6 years ago, wowmomma said... Lots of good ideas and encouragement!!! about 6 years ago, moongirl60 said... I do things that are not recommended, like asking what is a next step, or state how long it's been since there was a bath. I now have an aide that does a shower with my mom once a week so that battle is no longer an issue. about 6 years ago, Dmprn said... good article about 6 years ago, wowmomma said... So many good ideas. I bookmarked this page!!! over 6 years ago, JuJuB said... Ideas for getting hubby to bathe without so much confrontation......it's always a hassle..no matter what I've tried. over 6 years ago, Emily M. said... Hello Daughter v, Thank you very much for your comment. You may find some useful information in our incontinence section, here: ( http://www.caring.com/incontinence ). If you have additional questions, you can always post them in our Ask & Answer section, here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). I hope that helps! -- Emily | Community Manager over 6 years ago, Daughter v said... Does anyone have any advice on toileting ....my father continually wets himself and the floor when he goes to the toilet, more often at night before bed....his other toilet habits are now getting to be more frequent where he doesn't clean himself properly and just recently, on 2x occasions now, has not finished his 'business' in the toilet and therefore does it in the bedroom.....other than accompanying him to the toilet on his visits, which will be difficult in the middle of the night if we dont hear him...can anyone give me any other advice....have attached notices to the toilet cistern re peeing and a 'toilet' guide opposite for when he is seated....but we are at wits end - never ending washing of pyjamas and bath mats..... over 6 years ago, robin5845 said... My mother is in the moderate stage of alzheimers. This has helped me and my family. over 6 years ago, tomagirl said... I have a opposite problem with the shaving.He has started to shave arms and head when he didn't have to.also shaves many times a day.i tried hiding the razor after he shaves in the morning and that only creates a fight. over 6 years ago, mrsbsy said... Gosh, just when I am at a loss on how to get my husband to shower, shave, change clothes and brush his teeth...your wonderful site has helped me once again. Thanks for being here for me. over 6 years ago, Emily M. said... Hi Sharonmathews53, I hope you found the information on this article helpful. I'm very sorry to hear about your difficult situation. If you'd like, you can post a question in our Ask & Answer section, located here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ) or connect with other caregivers in our forums ( http://www.caring.com/forums ). @sab7478 you may also find these resources useful as well! Take care -- Emily | Community Manager over 6 years ago, Sharonmathews53 said... My Mom is confused as to where the bathroom is. The problem is that I am not with her on a daily basis. My 81 year old step-father is taking care of her and does not allow too much help. He thinks he can do it on his own. Lately he has broken down and found an adult day care that Mom attends twice a week. I and my husband use to have a key to the locks on the gate and the house, now my step-father changed the locks so I can not even get inside the gate. Mom is also diabetic and having seizures. My step-father does not call 911, he does test her blood glucose level and finds that her sugar level is below 40. There is a fire station not more than a block from their home. I asked him last Sunday to please call 911 when Mom has a seizure. I don't know what to do with him. Mom is not getting baths, taking her medications on a daily basis, eatting correctly. My husband and I have offered to come take care of both of them, however, my stepfather does not want that. They don't want to come live with me. My step-father doesn't want to put Mom in a nursing home. I care about the both of them. My step-father has a bad heart and emphasema. Please pray for them and me. My hair is actually falling out from all the stress and worry. over 6 years ago, sab7478 said... a 94 year old independent artist who says she has bathed & hasn't What to do & sat? almost 7 years ago, ponderosa said... A terry cloth for drying may help. Prepping beforehand and not asking if she wants to take a shower, just get it ready. Keep area warm. almost 7 years ago, HHofA2 said... Now to get the family to approach these difficult activities in a similar way! almost 7 years ago, a fellow commenter said... I especially like this article particularly for non-medical care-givers. I am an RN who's care-giver to my 75yo husband with Alzheimer's Dementia. I have used most of those tools at one time or another with my patients but it is quite different when that "patient" is a loved one.I have found that a lot more patience is required as it is difficult to accept that your spouse is affected. However although he is in early stage 3 he has kept his gentlemanly ways for eg he never forgets to say please and thank you each time I do something for him even for a simple act of rubbing his head and he always remembers to open doors for ladies saying" ladies first". He also has a good sense of humor and we laugh as much as we can.Is it possible that Alzheimer's could be the result of boxing as he represented the USMC in boxing when he was in the service for 2 years. almost 7 years ago, scampernanny said... I like the format of comprehensive, easy-to-read lists, rather than a straight narrative form. That way, I can pick and choose what to apply. Thank you very much. almost 7 years ago, Emily M. said... Hi Lorraine_OT, Thanks for your comment. This sounds like a good question for our Ask & Answer section. You can ask your question here: http://www.caring.com/questions/new. -- Emily | Community Manager almost 7 years ago, Lorraine_OT said... Looking for information on someone with dementia who toilets herself but does not complete with good hygiene afterwards. about 7 years ago, sunlover said... All the ideas for helping me help my husband to take a shower once a week. He still fusses but then I wait until the next day. I help him as he can hardly walk and forgets so much....like when he took a shower last. To him it seems like yesterday that he took a shower which was a week ago. We get along pretty well . about 7 years ago, sunlover said... all the suggestions are well advised. thank you about 7 years ago, sunlover said... I am my 90 yr. old husbands caregiver. I am 81 and in good condition. He is in good health but cannot walk hardly but itches and scratches all day and night almost. Dermatologist has given creams of all kinds and my husband says "they don't work" so therefore he bleeds alot....sores all over back, arms, hands, legs, stomach. Ouch. He does not complain. He is a retired veteran and M.D. He was a Primary Care Dr. for 50 years and retired when he was 80. He is so kind and sweet and never gives me trouble but his hygiene is beginning to be bad. I do all the things and more suggested things that you have related. My question is in what stage is he now? about 7 years ago, Jennmo01 said... I liked all the ideas and it was nice to know that I wasn't alone in my situation. I am my father's primary caregiver. He would rather just not clean off for a month until I nag him about it. He wears the same clothes every day. He doesn't want me to see him naked or help him with personal issues. It is quite frustrating and I wish I could find an online support group for caregivers of Alzheimer's Victims. If you can direct me to one, please let me know. over 7 years ago, Sharonmathews53 said... Mom has started a new thing. She is making statements toward my step-father that she is going to beat him with the hammer. She is going to knock him through the window. Should I be concerned that she is turning violent? How do I handle this? over 7 years ago, retiredintucson said... Thanks for a better understamding of Dementia.