What to Do When Someone With Dementia Lashes Out Physically

  Return to Class

almost 6 years, said...

My DAD HAS DEMENTIA AND HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED HE IS VERY CALM AND LOVING. My MOM ON THE OTHER HAND HAS NOT BEEN DIAGNOSED BUT HER MEAN OUTBURST ARE GETTING WORSE, she's horribly mean to dad and to the people around her! I have cared for my parents for years and it just gets worse, the anti-depressants the Dr prescribes she wont take and if I try to tell her how dads meds have to be given she gets angry with me. I'm so tired of fighting her and wish I could get through to her. When were in church or at the doctors she acts normal what is going on!


about 6 years, said...

My husband has dementia. We both have worked with children for years but he is increasingly becoming hostile to them, i.e cursing, pulling ears, especially the boys. The parents and children are complaining about his behavior. Its not though just the children but adults. He will go up to them and insult them. But I am more concerned about the children because I am always around them. I have to take him with me so he is always with them too. What do I do? There are no other paople who live in our home. I have discussed his hostile with his doctor who increased his meds - gabapentin to 600 mg. The outbursts lessened but now there are these other subtle forms of anger. He was taken off of prevagen due to kidney problems from diabetes. I need help. I cannot have these children exposed to this type of behavior.


over 9 years, said...

My MIL has moderate AD. She has been difficult for many years. She is a narcissist who has run off most members of the family. No one wants to be around her abuse and negativity.She has become physically violent threatening the caregiver. We have had police called twice and she has been in psyche unit twice in 3 months. Her language is vulgar and abusive. I'm just venting. I truly dislike this woman. I know there is a lesson in this. We are trying to walk thru this. Thanks for listening.


almost 10 years, said...

This website is great. Thank you!


almost 11 years, said...

Personally my advise to all of you with the frequent violent behavior of dementia patients is to either have them put away in a home to save you physically and mentally or medicate them. I don't understand why any home won't take them as they can give them shots to tranquilize them. If my husband starts these aggressive episodes again too frequently that is what I must do no matter how hard it is for me in order to save myself otherwise we'll both be lost. I am already a very sensitive person and his episodes are depressing me and I have lost a lot of weight while he eats better than ever. He has the disease but isn't that conscious of it while I am and so are you. We need to save ourselves and stop being in denial about how it is a disease which destroys everyone involved. Forgive me but I see nothing positive about the horrid disease of Alzheimer's.


almost 11 years, said...

I always find good advice from your articles. However, I find myself in a situation with my husband, who has cortical dementia an becomes aggressive and physically violent, for no apparent reason. Assisted living facilities refuse to admit people with aggressive behavior. I don't blame them but that leaves me to care for my husband, who also has numerous medical conditions, by myself, with no outside help. It's a 24/7/365 job and I've been doing it for over ten years. My husband is 84 and I am 66 years old. I can't even get friends to relieve me to go grocery shopping. I'm past tired, past exhausted; just fatigued, with no relief in sight!


about 11 years, said...

My 86 yr old Dad Struck My 83 yr old Mom when she was unable to locate a book he wanted quickly enough to suit him. He has understanding, but seems unable to control any frustration. He was diagnoised with Dementia and Parkinsons in the 1990's. He is very demanding and says very hurtful things to me (only child 54) and my Mom (who is emotionally hypersensitive anyway) and Mom is my primary concern. They have both been in denial for several years and resisted my efforts to "prepare" for this onslaught. Mom is dependant on Dad's income and IF he is institutiionalized will not have enough of an income to pay the power bill. What steps can be taken this late to protect assets like the jointly owned house, or to separate bank accts, so that I can insure my Mom has some way of living? She is functional and needs minimal help


over 11 years, said...

My dad is aggressive and angry with my mother often. Many times he thinks she is someone else. We tried an in home caregiver but he got too aggressive with her the second day. They won't come back unless he gets some kind of tranquilizers. My mom is getting so stressed and both my sister and I work full time and can't always be there to help. We tried calling his gerontologist to get something stronger but she won't give anything except the Ativan and Zoloft. That does help him little at night, but he also hallucinates more. He has been hallucinating pretty much all the time anyway, has conversations with people who aren't there. It frustrating to me that the gerontologist tells my mom to make sure she isn't overwhelmed but then won't give him stronger meds so she can have some help.


over 11 years, said...

advice on what meds to help!


over 11 years, said...

Hi, My mom had a stroke 2007, has dementia is in a skilled nursing facility sonce then. i used to go every other day . i had a heart attack 2009 have copd, chf, and have a pacemaker in me. everytime i go there she lashes out at me i don't know why, when or where this will happen i've been called such bad names, told to go to hell & never come back i have been thru so much I lost my hisband in 2002, then this and now this. i am lost completely no one else in the family i am the only child we have had a love/hate relationship all my life . But now is is extremely bad. i feel i don;t have to listen to this and it rips me apart inside. HELP FROM ANYONE??????


almost 12 years, said...

My mother has Alzheimer's and she has become violent. I removed her from my home and put her on medication. If she comes back to the home, the suggestions in this article will help me.


almost 12 years, said...

I'm watching my husband sink slowly into an unexplaainable slump...but I noticed it got much worse whem his mother fell and hurt her head and body./.went to hospital..seemed to get better,then suddenly had a massive stroke...that one put her completely down..She mentally alert,but her body has given up.He said her health really bothers him,but he won't visit her.She's 85 yrs now///but my brother has had the same thing happen to him,and now his body is giving up on him!!! I have an aunt in her 90's I can't even find,because my brother can't recall where she's at. We're watching our elders drop like flies...We don't visit him either because he'd so far away....too much..too much. My hubby seems to have given up.i'm in a holding pattern,because I can't just take a car,(we have two)and just GO to see any of them.All my kids live except (one) 2 doors from us...The rest are 70 miles/350 miles 340 miles and 450 milrs from us.The one neatrest is disabled,and I won't let her use my car any ,more...my kids have cost ME thousands of repair dollars.There is much I don't understand,but I'm doing the best I can.i make no excuses any more...mostly I've learned how to say NO!..infatically,and anyone stubborn enough to figure out how to get their stuff done without me,i figure has learned a valuable lesson.If I died tomorrow ,that's exactly what they'd have to do anyway.I'm not giving up...I'll br reading morre thank you. GBG


almost 12 years, said...

As I've been skimming along.I find there is more actions going on that /i wasn't paying attention to.Yet here it is in black in black and white...exactly what I didn'twant to take so much time to talk about in the beginning. Bathing,and changing his clothes is most noticable.He wants only his only favorite foods,so I make him do his wown cooking...In fact he argues with me about every little thing I do differently than him,yet denies he even notices it.I can set my clock 24 hours a day by his footsteps and activities.He only eats certain things...but his health isn't suffering for it.The VA said he's much better health wise now than for years back..He's great for where he stands....and I so the same,and i'm physically great for where I stand....His short term memory is dissappearing...but he recalls EVERYthing from 10 years ago back. I'm the opposit...I recall weeks ago but completely lost deminishing huge chunks of long times ago.i'm improving in that league.


almost 12 years, said...

Could physcial aggression as mentioned in the first paragraph co-relate, to anger build up in childhood or formative age towards one or both parents? These symptoms were observed in a female in her twenties and intensifying progressively as age advanced.


about 12 years, said...

Everything was helpful except for the part about giving the person advance notice of schedule changes. I find that when I give my 87 year-old roommate advance notice of my plan to spend the weekend at my sister's house (an hour away), he becomes hostile and makes threats in anticipation of the date. Then he feigns an illness or need for me to cancel and stay with him. I stick to my original plan and that causes another argument.


about 12 years, said...

This article gives practical tips. That is what caregivers need. Is throwing things considered physical aggression or just a forerunner of it? AD is a scary thing to deal with, especially when everything a caregiver does or doesn't do is wrong.


almost 13 years, said...

Your article was right on. I have a patient who became VERY violent. One of her other caregivers was actually injured. I often would go sit in my car watching the house for 15 minutes or so and when I came back she was much calmer. Eventually, her family had a medication review with the doctor and she was put on an antipsychotic medication. What a difference! She is an angel....it is the disease that causes our patients and loved ones to behave in such a frightening manner.


almost 13 years, said...

The strategies given to help in different situations. In addition to providing strategies, you also listed some situations to look for/ anticipate. Thank you.


over 13 years, said...

Thank you....My husband's dementia seems to have escalated this week - along with increased leg weakness, so yesterday I had to put him in a nursing home (doctor/ER personnel recommendation) where I hope that physical therapy will help with at least one of these concerns. I can no longer physically assist him as I'd hoped. I pray that I can bring him home again. The section on bathing was really helpful, because that has been one of the difficulties.


over 13 years, said...

Great and to the point. Thanks


about 14 years, said...

I need help my dad is not him self and its hard on my family.