Update family and close friends.

How to do it: Start by compiling a complete contact list -- listing both phone numbers and e-mail addresses -- something you'll likely draw on many times in the coming months.

Then call or send out a group e-mail -- or one to family and another to friends -- filling them in on your parent's health and living situation following these assessments. You may need to make some phone calls, too, or send notes to those who don't use the Internet.

Why it's important: There are two main reasons to tell others about the assessments.

• Relatives, friends, and neighbors have probably noticed changes in your parent. They'll appreciate knowing what to expect and having the opportunity to help. They also might have useful information; insights about physical, cognitive, or other important changes they've noticed; or connections that might come in handy.
• You'll need their help. Caring for an ailing elder is usually a marathon, not a sprint. To provide effective care for as long as possible, and to maintain your own health and life, you absolutely cannot go it alone.