How to Find Out What Kind of Financial Help Your Elderly Family Members Want

Start by asking your parents or other elderly family members what kind of help, if any, they want now -- and what they anticipate they'll need in the coming months and years. Remember that this is ultimately their decision. They should be comfortable with your involvement, so be careful not to overstep. Talk to them about these options:

1. Do a one-time bout of organizing, helping to sort out paperwork, file their tax return, or get a Power of Attorney in place, for example. It will likely involve gathering and organizing financial records and perhaps making a few calls or writing letters, and leaving orderly papers and perhaps a list or calendar of regular financial matters to attend to.
2. Comanage their finances, regularly organizing papers and helping them pay bills, deposit funds, fill out forms, write letters or make calls, and consulting about other financial issues that come up from time to time -- but leaving the decisions up to them. This also prepares you for a later time when you might have to take over for them.
3. Take over financial duties, handling all regular financial matters. This may be because they've slowly lost the ability to manage things, or they want to be prepared in case of a sudden, incapacitating health crisis -- such as a stroke or accident.