Again, to know that I'm not alone. Also, to see if new tips have been found. It's been about ten years now and although I'm very glad to have this time to take care of my mom, there are times when I look back and see the overwhelming toll this disease has taken on the strongest most independent person I have ever known. Mom is 96, I am 66, I wonder if I can live up to the role model she has been for me...... I'm getting so tired. May God give all of us the strength and compassion we need to help our loved ones till they no longer need us.
over 10 years,
Arwanda
said...
Mom wears depends at night. During day she often ask where bathroom is. Once she is there she will use anything to wipe with including towel, trash bag, hair roller. I have to keep everything away except tissue and can only give her a limited amount or she will keep using pieces until the roll is about empty! Will leave water running in sink when she comes out. Will brush her dentures with lotion , hair grease, anything in bathroom. I always have to go in there if she is alone more than five minutes. Often needs help pulling up underwear and pants. We now use sweatpants or loose pants.
over 12 years,
ruttcg
said...
don't bleive she wipes her self after a B.M. just pulls up pants an when she finily will change underware she hides them an unforcenily we made her start ware dependes . talked with her about changing the an throwing them away but still hiding in new place every time i find them an she's a good hider. tryed talking with her trying not to make her feel bad about it. asking an telling her how an what to do with no change so when i find them i dont say anything now an still she hides'em. any answers to this problem?
over 12 years,
Kathleen.j.
said...
He is not likely to match his clothes. He wore an old pair of sneakers to go to the range with his veteran friends. He liked them so well that he wears them every day. Think I'll hide them after he goes to bed tonight. If I am any way critical of his attire, he gets cranky. But then he'll turn around and wear clothes that match mine in color. People notice when that happens, and he just smiles. ☺
over 12 years,
Kathleen.j.
said...
Getting sweat pants or pants with elastic waist. I need to lay his clothes out the night before. I've done it a few times. Probably need to be consistant in this.
almost 13 years,
a fellow commenter
said...
Realizing that the similar color of the toilet to wallsa may be the reason he so often "misses" and wets the floor. He sometimes remembers to sit (durung the night), but mostly forgets.
almost 13 years,
Carovan
said...
I'm interested in knowing how to handle this when she is at home where she has lived for 50+ years and forgets where the bathroom is. This happens during the day and sometimes when she has a nap. I'm more concerned about her not knowing where the bathroom is than the amount of liquids she drinks.
almost 13 years,
dasilvia
said...
yes.
? What do you do when they argue they do not need to go?
about 13 years,
Sharonmathews53
said...
Signs to help Mom know where the bathroom is.
Asking and taking Mom to the bathroom on a schedule.
The only problem is having access to my Mom. My step-father is caring for her. Does not accept my help as much as he should. I use to have a key to the gate and house and he went and changed the locks. He is 81 and I don't know how to handle him.
over 13 years,
Aremat
said...
Thanks for all the kind comments, and understanding of this behavior.
My worse problem, is my client is kind of like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. One
moment, she saying yes to going to the restroom, but when I actuallly get in
there, she turns into this behavior person. I can re-direct, but she has deep,
deep Alzheimers, and there is no trust issue.
The family does things, of course different from me. But the daught. pulls her
to the toliet, and then "Forces" her mother to sit. I cannot take these actions, I
have explained to the family, there are proctected laws, that prohibit this kind
of behavior. I call it abuse.
The Daught. only comes for visits every couple of months, and then when she
leaves, I'm stuck again doing this routine, all over again. This will take me
sometimes 3 months to put in place, but my client, still fights me to take pants
down, and sit on a toliet. She has even said things to me, such as "You'd like
that". I tell her "Yes, I would like that".
It's a daily struggle and stress out game. Everyday. Does anyone have a loved
one who is so shy, she won't sit on the toliet? She has to have hands on, with
everything I do. She cannot even wipe, or won't. H-E-L-P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
over 13 years,
Aremat
said...
The contents, of what I read, helped me with so many questions. And at the
same time, I still wait for the answer I really need. (shy/ fear/ of toliet problem).
Being a full time caregiver, there is no almighty "Alzheimers/Dementia
Bible" that will cure all.
It's nice, to know there are so many others out there, and I am not alone.
Alzheimers disease, my take the memories of our loved ones, but
will never take the "Souls". Thanks for the help. Aremat.....
God Bless and my prayers and hugs to all of you, who have walked in
my circle. And God Bless those, who have followed and trusted us.
over 13 years,
langdon
said...
Ed issue is the steps he gets very uppset that he can not recall all the steps pull doun the pants etc he can not read and can not pick up visual clues . his anxioty sp comes from i know i should know but dont know how
over 13 years,
tomkat
said...
Using different colors for the walls and toilet.
over 13 years,
lovinghimdeeply
said...
contrasting colour of wall and toilet
over 13 years,
langdon
said...
Ed has alot of promblems here one he is very overweight so he cant aim he sits down and we were having every where so I finally put a towel around thewbase no more rivers of pee no more wet pants from the wet floor and he doest seem to notice til he gets on that topic again whats the washer 4 anyway and i am glad no accidents yet
over 13 years,
SunHiker
said...
Specific measures that can be taken. I like the idea of a guideway using glow-in-the-dark tape. Though it seems my husband is able to find the bathroom starting from the bed (though not always the reverse). It's when he's in some other part of the house, during the day, that he gets confused.
over 13 years,
a fellow commenter
said...
Grandpa often had issues getting to the bathroom in time. However, he would never admit to it. If he spent more time that usual in the bathroom, I knew to look somewhere for wet clothes. Sometimes they were in the clothes hamper; more often than not, though, they were under the covers, pillow, or rinsed and draining in the shower. I hated that he felt ashamed, so I never mentioned it to him. Also, when he did make it to the bathroom in time, his aim was terrible! We resorted to tiling the wall up to waist high around the commode so, if he was off-target, I could clean off the tile and the odor would not stay with us forever. It was nothing that couldn't be cleaned up quickly!
Again, to know that I'm not alone. Also, to see if new tips have been found. It's been about ten years now and although I'm very glad to have this time to take care of my mom, there are times when I look back and see the overwhelming toll this disease has taken on the strongest most independent person I have ever known. Mom is 96, I am 66, I wonder if I can live up to the role model she has been for me...... I'm getting so tired. May God give all of us the strength and compassion we need to help our loved ones till they no longer need us.
Mom wears depends at night. During day she often ask where bathroom is. Once she is there she will use anything to wipe with including towel, trash bag, hair roller. I have to keep everything away except tissue and can only give her a limited amount or she will keep using pieces until the roll is about empty! Will leave water running in sink when she comes out. Will brush her dentures with lotion , hair grease, anything in bathroom. I always have to go in there if she is alone more than five minutes. Often needs help pulling up underwear and pants. We now use sweatpants or loose pants.
don't bleive she wipes her self after a B.M. just pulls up pants an when she finily will change underware she hides them an unforcenily we made her start ware dependes . talked with her about changing the an throwing them away but still hiding in new place every time i find them an she's a good hider. tryed talking with her trying not to make her feel bad about it. asking an telling her how an what to do with no change so when i find them i dont say anything now an still she hides'em. any answers to this problem?
He is not likely to match his clothes. He wore an old pair of sneakers to go to the range with his veteran friends. He liked them so well that he wears them every day. Think I'll hide them after he goes to bed tonight. If I am any way critical of his attire, he gets cranky. But then he'll turn around and wear clothes that match mine in color. People notice when that happens, and he just smiles. ☺
Getting sweat pants or pants with elastic waist. I need to lay his clothes out the night before. I've done it a few times. Probably need to be consistant in this.
Realizing that the similar color of the toilet to wallsa may be the reason he so often "misses" and wets the floor. He sometimes remembers to sit (durung the night), but mostly forgets.
I'm interested in knowing how to handle this when she is at home where she has lived for 50+ years and forgets where the bathroom is. This happens during the day and sometimes when she has a nap. I'm more concerned about her not knowing where the bathroom is than the amount of liquids she drinks.
yes. ? What do you do when they argue they do not need to go?
Signs to help Mom know where the bathroom is. Asking and taking Mom to the bathroom on a schedule. The only problem is having access to my Mom. My step-father is caring for her. Does not accept my help as much as he should. I use to have a key to the gate and house and he went and changed the locks. He is 81 and I don't know how to handle him.
Thanks for all the kind comments, and understanding of this behavior. My worse problem, is my client is kind of like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. One moment, she saying yes to going to the restroom, but when I actuallly get in there, she turns into this behavior person. I can re-direct, but she has deep, deep Alzheimers, and there is no trust issue. The family does things, of course different from me. But the daught. pulls her to the toliet, and then "Forces" her mother to sit. I cannot take these actions, I have explained to the family, there are proctected laws, that prohibit this kind of behavior. I call it abuse. The Daught. only comes for visits every couple of months, and then when she leaves, I'm stuck again doing this routine, all over again. This will take me sometimes 3 months to put in place, but my client, still fights me to take pants down, and sit on a toliet. She has even said things to me, such as "You'd like that". I tell her "Yes, I would like that". It's a daily struggle and stress out game. Everyday. Does anyone have a loved one who is so shy, she won't sit on the toliet? She has to have hands on, with everything I do. She cannot even wipe, or won't. H-E-L-P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The contents, of what I read, helped me with so many questions. And at the same time, I still wait for the answer I really need. (shy/ fear/ of toliet problem). Being a full time caregiver, there is no almighty "Alzheimers/Dementia Bible" that will cure all. It's nice, to know there are so many others out there, and I am not alone. Alzheimers disease, my take the memories of our loved ones, but will never take the "Souls". Thanks for the help. Aremat..... God Bless and my prayers and hugs to all of you, who have walked in my circle. And God Bless those, who have followed and trusted us.
Ed issue is the steps he gets very uppset that he can not recall all the steps pull doun the pants etc he can not read and can not pick up visual clues . his anxioty sp comes from i know i should know but dont know how
Using different colors for the walls and toilet.
contrasting colour of wall and toilet
Ed has alot of promblems here one he is very overweight so he cant aim he sits down and we were having every where so I finally put a towel around thewbase no more rivers of pee no more wet pants from the wet floor and he doest seem to notice til he gets on that topic again whats the washer 4 anyway and i am glad no accidents yet
Specific measures that can be taken. I like the idea of a guideway using glow-in-the-dark tape. Though it seems my husband is able to find the bathroom starting from the bed (though not always the reverse). It's when he's in some other part of the house, during the day, that he gets confused.
Grandpa often had issues getting to the bathroom in time. However, he would never admit to it. If he spent more time that usual in the bathroom, I knew to look somewhere for wet clothes. Sometimes they were in the clothes hamper; more often than not, though, they were under the covers, pillow, or rinsed and draining in the shower. I hated that he felt ashamed, so I never mentioned it to him. Also, when he did make it to the bathroom in time, his aim was terrible! We resorted to tiling the wall up to waist high around the commode so, if he was off-target, I could clean off the tile and the odor would not stay with us forever. It was nothing that couldn't be cleaned up quickly!