Multiple Sclerosis

My wife is 66 and started showing MS symptoms some 35 years ago but was diagnosed only 12 years ago. She is doing nothing for her MS; she has not been to any doctor since her diagnosis except to get antibiotics for her bladder infections. The doctor then said she has a "mild" case, and at first her symptoms were merely nuisances-- gimpy leg, frequent bladder infections, falling asleep every evening.

Now, though, her "cognitive impairment" has become rather pronounced. For example, she has difficulty making simple decisions and can't complete a sentence. Worse, she sometimes denies her difficulties and other times blames them on me. The worst part for me is that she is always grouchy. She takes offense at everything I say or do such as trying to make light of the situation or wanting to volunteer at the animal shelter (she correctly said that I was wanting a dog's affection but incorrectly said I didn't want hers) or going to lunch with a male friend. Hence, I am afraid to say anything or to do anything individually.

She still enjoys taking walks with me, but she has slowed down a lot, she stumbles a lot and sometimes falls, and she has to concentrate on walking so much that conversation is minimal. She won't decide or express an opinion regarding anything else I suggest. She is in otherwise perfect health apparently, so she won't go to a doctor-- not even for a check-up much less to seek help.

Any advice for me would be appreciated-- even if it's to be thankful.

How do you accept your spouses weekness and his mind not thinking properly. His making wrong decisions or taking months to make a decision.

Marti

I started a relationship with an older man (he is 48, I am 25) last summer. He is a great man--most of the time. Like everyone he has his flaws, and I don't look at his MS as one of them. He makes me happy. He tells me I am the best thing in his life.

He feels completely abandoned in his life. He has made some mistakes, took a few wrong turns, and as a result he lost many of the supports he once had. I think it is more important now than ever that he has the support of family and friends. It seems like, 90% of the time we are on an island surrounded by a sea of his troubles.

He has lost most of the mobility in his right leg, fatigues easily, is losing muscle mass, and having increased issues with his neck and lower back. His hands are a constant issue, he finds it difficult to shop, drive, and concentrate. He is starting to have issues with blurred vision and his breathing.

He is of course very distraught over these issues. He was once a very athletic man, hardworking, and loved anything physical. And now the physical things are daunting. A burden, And in some ways I think he is even afraid of the physical world.

I love him. And I will always stand beside him. Not because of guilt or pity but because he is the most important person in my life. It doesn't make caring for him any easier. I have my own health issues, and they can be debilitating but I fight through it. I don't mean to say he should, but I wish that he could see that, at least for today, he is well enough to live a fulfilling happy life. But he can't.

It feels like more and more of our days (we live together) are spent not in smiles and laughter but in anger and complaints and despair--on his part. He focuses primarily on his failing health, he can't see that he is in some ways better. He hasn't suffered from a serious downward spiral since he began the copaxone.

Our conversations are filled with "I can't _ anymore".... "I wont be able to anymore." I know that the future can be bleak. I know that MS is an ugly disease and there is a higher chance of the disease progressing that remitting. I know that there is a chance I will be like one of the brave caregivers below who have to change diapers, feed, bathe, and otherwise care for their loved ones. I have no problem standing beside him.

I just get tired. I know it is selfish. I know it is horrible. But I get so tired. Not of the physical challenges, or even the emotional challenges. I get tired of the doom and gloom, his inability to appreciate the day. It frustrates me more and more.

I decided that it is time for him to attend a support group in the area so that he can speak to people who can relate to his feelings. Who can empathize with his condition. I will attend some of the meetings with him, and I am hoping that there will be some people who will have a more positive outlook about what they have today, and give him a little hope.

I just want him to live in appreciation of the day, because one day he may wish he had. I just want him to have a little hope.

My husband was diagnosed with MS in 1985. In fact, he was in the hospital getting the diagnosis on our 1st year wedding anniversary. Talk about "in sickness and in health . . ." He offered me a divorce. I told him I'd think about it and let him know. Its been 29 yrs and I'm still thinking about it. Now he's in a motorized chair, has cognitive issues, and is incontinent in bladder and bowel. But he's still the handsome man, that was standing tall, waiting for me at the altar 29 yrs ago. That memory, and many more, are how I get through those days when I'm so tired I can barely stay on my feet. Pray for me, I'll do the same for you.

I am a parent of an adult daughter with MS. I suppose one of the more difficult facets of this has been the emotional turmoil and the change in her personality at times.

Any support groups in Sugar Land ,Texas?

My wife has PPMS. Looking back, she has had many symptoms but at low levels since her teens. It has gotten much worse over the last few years. The pain induced dementia was what allowed us to see something was wrong and to start down the path of diagnosis. A year ago, she was in a wheelchair. We found a doctor that has put her on low dose neltrexone and several other pain meds. She is so much better than a year ago. I am having huge issues with waiting for the other shoe to fall. I have such a hard time staying in the here and now. Does any one else have this problem. It's almost as if her bad days are a relief in that all the bad things that went on previously were not something i thought was there but isn't. Then typically she'll pop back out of it (pop is very much too much action for her) she gets back to her normal slow pace and then I wonder when the next bout will hit. It is a cycle of days and sometimes hours. Living in this anxiety is really taking a toll. I pray, meditate, take walks in the forest (fortunately, we live in a forest in the mountains). I am not even 50 yet. I feel that my whole life has just been so lost. I can't plan for a future. All my money goes to health care or trying to do new things for my wife like travel and such. I work a stressful job as a supervisor. I see a counselor regularly and am trying to get more time away for just me. I don't know how much more i can take.

Hi neice, I am taking care of my husband that has MS. He has had it for 10 years, and is bedridden. I have never posted on any site to see if someone is going through the same thing I am going through. I feel like I am in hell sometimes, more than not. If you would like to get in touch with me you are more than welcome. I know I need someone to talk with that is going through the same thing and I am wondering if you are too. I live in California,

Are there any support groups for MS in Granbury, Texas?

hi, my name is Marga.I have had ms 12 years, I'm in a wheel chair now,my mind is good, but my body is shot.I want to live independly with hcbs .Im trying to find an apartment that is handy caped accessable . Does any one know of any place.