Family Matters

My husbands mother and father are both at the skilled nursing level of care. His mom has MS and is a quadrapeligic and his father has advanced Parkinsons and can't take care of himself. They have in home 24 hour care but are running out of money fast! They refuse any ideas we have to help but will certainly will want help when they can't pay for anything. He just thinks they will move in at that point...totally unrealistic. How or what do I do to make all of them understand we can't "wait to see what tomorrow brings" anymore.

I was'nt sure where this post should go since im new to this site, but my father passed away Jan 18th, 2013 and left behind myself and my 4 older brothers. My father basically built a home next to my 2nd eldest brother in arkansa but would travel north here to michigan to stay with my 1st eldest brother. My father owned a motor home and a brand new ford car, both which he was paying on. My father gave the motor home to my 3rd eldest brother last year but died before he could get the motor switched over to my 3rd eldest brothers name. Now my 2nd eldest brother came here for the funeral and disrespected my father and the entire family by rushing the funeral, claiming he is executor but refusing to show proof to anyone or company, and only staying 1 hr both days. On the final day he even didnt want to stay for the military honors he rushed back to my 1st eldest brothers home and cleared up my fathers belongings and hi tailed it back down south. Now my 3rd eldest brother has been struggling with my 2nd eldest to send paper work to the bank the motor home is thru to gain it for sentimental values but my 2nd eldest only faxed a hand written note to the bank that wasnt even notarized or legal and then called the bank lady a nut a lunatic and crazy to think he would send her any more paper work. Now my 3rd eldest brother had found within some papers my father left him a notarized will that does not state a executor and was dated in 2010 so now my family or whats left is trying to think what to do to help my 3rd eldest brother gain my fathers motorhome.

How long do I hold on?? My boyfriend of 4 years (living together for 2) has been out of work for 11 months and its been an emotional hell for me. He is verbally abusive and not emotionally supportive and in general is not really nice to be around - he has his moments dont get me wrong but the good times are less and less and the rough times more the norm than not....i have a 9 year old son who adores him and we were talking about getting married when he lost his job but now he doesn't want to even talk about it until he finds a job; he is being recruited for an overseas position that would take him away for a year....i have been working two jobs and still take care of all the household duties and i am exhausted. He stays he wants to help but whenever i ask he says he doesn't want to...whenever I try to talk to him he "isnt in the mood" so I cant even get him to communicate..I am at the end of my rope and dont know if I should continue to hold out for better times or cut my losses and move on...i dont want my son to see this behaviour as acceptable...what do i do???

I'm in a pickle. My parent just passed and left life insurance to me only. My siblings know about it and expect me to share. Should I share? One of my siblings is a step sibling and is very insistent about the fact that I should share. If I do share should I give them equal shares? I'm not a fan of the step sibling.

What would you do in my place?

Can my brother take leagal action against me? I am the sole caregiver for seven years, unemployed, my brother has accused me of thinking my mothers money is mine, not true. He claims he knows all my mothers finanicial affairs. wants a third of her annuity, half savings. He does not want to wait until she dies. Can he take court action against me? I have POA, I don't abuse my mother's money. I got enough stuff, would not even take Christmas money. I live in Virginia.

Today it's my detiorating apt in Bronx NY. Plumbing isn't vented properly thus there's gurgling/odor which is methane gas and I can't get landlord to fix it. Also I'm caregiver to a younger family member that's depressed. I'm also depressed. my email: [email removed]

My sister, retired, is conservator of my mom, 96, currently in an Assisted Living facility that's accepted her, knowing that mom needs 24 hour care and 2 person assist. Sis arranged for additional help from a private nursing pool that sends CNAs out to sit with mom 8 hours daily. Additionally, she's hired a hospice agency to come in for about 1.5 hours 3 times a week. I am still working, and I live about 20 minutes away from the facility. I visit mom and have helped out consistently, (about 2 days weekly) but not enough for Sis. Sis insists upon being at the facility daily, up to 6 hours at a time, and keeps a daily log of EVERYTHING that goes on while mom is there. I, too, remain at the facility for 5-6 hours each time I go. One of the CNAs has quit. Mom has moderate dementia, confined to a wheelchair, incontinent, and is very combative with my sister. She is clearly burning out and refuses to back off despite the pleas of the people who are helping with the caretaking. She expects the same level of commitment from me, and I set my limits as I simply can't do more than I am. Any advice?

Because sisters husband heart problems and my brother is far away works full time I'm the only to help father recover from hip replacement surgery and mom with dementia. Now I'm in poor health with emotional problems. Looking to temperary nursing home for both parents during dads recovery.How can I be sure I choose the right place for them nearby my home for I will want see them often.

Hi - I need some advice........my mother is I have no other words for her but a vindictive bitch.......up until she had a fight with my husband last xmas, I was the daughter she was talking to and she was not talking to my alcholic sister.....now, not only did I have to plea deal to id theft she charged me with that I did not do (sister did it, had eye witness of her entering home and also sun pass tolls that placed me in another county at the alleged cr ard apps but I could not afford a trial) but now as Dad is in a dump of a nursing home (he is a WWII vet but she will not put him on wait list....she won't give him his hearing aids.....she won't auth eyeglass dr to see him - stroke victim) but now I have not been able to see him for a few days as he is 1.5 hrs away......when I call the nursing home, they refuse to give me his health status stating I am not on the "face sheet" - now she only talks to the sister.......all they would tell me was he was alive..........so that means if he is transported to a hospital and dies, I will not know..........guardianship is out of the question as we spent so much money on legal fees for my defense of the id..........I was the daughter always closest to Dad..........is getting a court order to get info possible?? Also, the plea I took put me on prob with early term in 6 mnths - will this hurt?? She was trying to prohibit me from even visiting Dad but it stipulated I could in the plea - also guardianship had been started prior to the plea, but dismissed due to my legal issues.....I am told that seeing it was dismissed, that even though 3 experts found Dad incapacitated, that determination no longer holds as the case was dismissed.......so if Dad auth me in front of a nurse (he does have lucid moments) , can he himself auth me?/ He does not have alzheimers, has senile dementia, so he does have lucid times, any ideas anyone??

I have a sister who is taking care of our mother. I have a very expensive bed I bought from my brother years ago and paid cash for. He passed away seven years ago. I have no receipt but I did purchase the matching dressers still in my house. I bought a daybed so I would have more space in my bedroom and my mother agreed to let me put the double bed in her spare bedroom. It is years later and my mother is in her 80's and she is forgetful. I decided to go and bring my bed home and now she is trying to take my bed. My sister has a lot of influence over her and I am sure she is responsible for what is going on. My mother has a bedroom suit and the wood is the same as mine, it is an oak bed, but hers has a skinny small headboard and two rails and thats it. Mine has a big headboard and footboard. My sister just wants the nicer bed, thats it. She was executrix of my fathers will and took everything for herself. I also have another sister, and then my brother who passed away in 2005. When my dad died my brother was out of work, separated from his wife and we were all in my moms house when we found out what was in my dads will. He disowned my brother and left him nothing, he left a small amount of money to be shared by me and my other sister. My parents were not together and my mother raised us by herself. We hadn't seen our dad for years until my younger sister was in the hospital as a result of a severe car accident and he called and asked if he would be welcome to visit her in the hospital. That's how he came back in our lives. We were then adults in our 20's. My sister was paralyzed on one half of her face, it was a very bad accident. After she came home, I eventually started to visit my dad and his wife in their home. My mom and family were not to happy about it but how long can you be angry at someone. My brother never forgave my sad till he was dying in the hospitality else I am sure he would have left him some little thing. I told my older sister who all of a sudden started to visit him shortly before he died is the one in his will as executrix. I went to see him for years. His wife had died and he was alone. I told my sister just because my dad did the wrong thing, she still had the choice to do the right thing and she said, "this is what he wanted" I could not believe she would not share something with our brother. I then later asked my younger sister if she wanted to take what we got and share it with him and she agreed. I think we ended up with about $800 for each of us. Now the older sister is executrix once again and was almost executrix of my aunts will until her niece on her husbands side intervened. I would appreciate any help you can give me on how I can prove the bed is mine. I called the furniture store where he purchased his bed and I later purchased the two matching dressers, and it has been so many years they only know he and I have accounts there. The person who owns the furniture store lives across the street from me but we really don't speak other than saying hello. I don't know if he would remember the sale or not. He did have to look up my brothers account so he would know what two dressers went with the bedroom suit. My mother bought her bedroom suit all three pieces together. I have even consider a polygraph being done and take her to court. I paid my brother cash and have no proof. A friend told me there is always a paper trail somewgere and it might take a lawyer to get it, the store just has our names and i have the dressers to match still in my home. Please, if anyone has any help for me, I really would appreciate it.