Life after caregiving
Its been a few months since I was here last. Since then I've moved out of my house and am making plans to move out of state. After my grandfather passed away, I just couldn't stay in the home anymore. It didn't feel like home. It didn't help that my grandmother changed EVERYTHING in the house. She got rid of all of his things within the 1st month. I know some may say 'well that's her way of coping', but the thing is she is blind. All his things were in a spare bedroom she never went into. She was told I wasn't ready for her to get rid of everything and she didn't care.
Anyhow, I'm now facing life on my own for the 1st time ever. I've never not been a caregiver. Even as a kid, my mom was always sick so I took care of her and my younger siblings.
I know I haven't begun to deal with my grandpa's death. I still dream about him being alive, and not a day goes by that, for a split second, I forget he's gone.
Its not been easy. I have a history of depression and have been in treatment for over 10 years. Being a caregiver, taking care of my grandparents gave my purpose. It gave me a reason to get through each day. And now I don't have that. I have plans to move out of state but I keep fighting the "just give up on life" feelings.
Anyone else had to face life after caregiving and found it to be not worth it?