My dad has congestive heart failure and bladder cancer that was not treatable because of the heart failure. It all happened very quickly, his downward spiral, just a matter of months starting with an infection in his shunt before they started treatment, after that it was too late to treat the cancer. Last July he was out mowing lawns, shopping himself, taking care of his bills etc and very independent. He felt angry and cheated out of treatment as do I. I go there every other week to every two weeks since this happened. I live 5 hrs away from hospice plus my husband needs to drive me since I can't do the drive myself. Now I feel the end is near, he needs to be fed, has a hard time speaking, he feet are cold and swollen and mottled. I have handled everything, no help from anyone but my husband and I feel like some people are wringing thier hands like vultures. My dad was not the easiest person to live with and my brothers and I have our negative history with him growing up but I am the only girl and had the best relationship with him. After my mom died my dad deeded his property over to me with a life estate attached so everything was protected. My brother doesn't know this but he will find out after dad passes. I sit dreading the day I tell him, my dad did this for good reasons and knew I would take care of my brother (he has health problems) and to protect his assests from my sister-in-law. So I have this stress hanging over me. I love my dad, after mom died dad and I became friends and called each other 3-5 days a week and talked about everything. I hurt because I can't just pick up the phone to talk to him like I used to do then I feel guilty for feeing hurt about it. I miss our friendship and when I see dad I feel parent feelings for him, he is a bit like a child at times because of the dementia. I'm going there for a week next week, maybe much longer because of his failing health. I bought a book of cat stories to read to him since he loves cats and I had to rehome several of his cats and took the kitten in. Everyone else would have left the cats to die and I feel bitter about that. It took me a month to get them live trapped and rehomed with a wonderful woman who was my dads cats vet. Just please someone respond to this all. I feel I have worn my poor husbands ear off and everytime I make a therapy appointment for myself I have to cancel it because someone is sick or I have to leave etc. I know this is a bunch of thoughts run together but I don't sleep well anymore and have been up since 3am thinking about funeral arrangements etc. I need support please!