I think children don't want to acknowledge that a parent is not "normal" because it may be their fault or it may happen to them later in life. Who knows what they think. I know my 35 year old daughter is having trouble with accepting that her dad is changing. She doesn't have the patience with him. It is sad to see all of this happening to our family. She had me read a book by andy Andrews--The Time Traveler ( I think-I forgot the title-on, no) and it was good. I printed off the seven points to keep me focused and it helps. The first one says the buck stops here. I am responsible for my past and my future.---REALLY??? my future--who knows how long and how awful my future will be. I am being very negative this morning--for no reason. Today is a new day---enjoy.

I think children don't want to acknowledge that a parent is not "normal" because it may be their fault or it may happen to them later in life. Who knows what they think. I know my 35 year old daughter is having trouble with accepting that her dad is changing. She doesn't have the patience with him. It is sad to see all of this happening to our family. She had me read a book by andy Andrews--The Time Traveler ( I think-I forgot the title-on, no) and it was good. I printed off the seven points to keep me focused and it helps. The first one says the buck stops here. I am responsible for my past and my future.---REALLY??? my future--who knows how long and how awful my future will be. I am being very negative this morning--for no reason. Today is a new day---enjoy.

Happy Anniversary,for all the good years, I had my 43rd Anniv. in June, it was bittersweet, it's all about what it was and could have been. You are right Peggy1, children also have issues with accepting, and my grandchildren are scared of him, and that breaks my heart, because he always enjoyed children, the older ones remember the park/zoo outings etc.. As far as the holidays, I go through the motions for the Kids sake, but it truly is no longer a joyous occasion in my household, especially not for my husband, to noisy etc.. always asking what are all these people doing here and when are they leaving. Sometimes I feel like I am traveling in the Black hole -outer space don't know where I am going or whats coming

I truly enjoy our joy and pain exchange, makes the rest of the day a better place.

Happy Anniversary,for all the good years, I had my 43rd Anniv. in June, it was bittersweet, it's all about what it was and could have been. You are right Peggy1, children also have issues with accepting, and my grandchildren are scared of him, and that breaks my heart, because he always enjoyed children, the older ones remember the park/zoo outings etc.. As far as the holidays, I go through the motions for the Kids sake, but it truly is no longer a joyous occasion in my household, especially not for my husband, to noisy etc.. always asking what are all these people doing here and when are they leaving. Sometimes I feel like I am traveling in the Black hole -outer space don't know where I am going or whats coming

I truly enjoy our joy and pain exchange, makes the rest of the day a better place.

Yes, this is a good way to vent and not have anyone close know of the pain. I am a control person and have been in control of our household for many years, but I could count on him to help. Not much help now--does not want to drive anymore and he is content to stay in the house and watch tv. I suppose I should be thankful that he is not in the car driving around and getting lost. Like I have said, we are at the beginning of this condition and most of the time I forget he has problems and then he will ask the same thing over and over and then reality smacks me in the face and I say, "Oh, no." The #2 idea from the Andy Andrews book is I will seek wisdon. I will be a servant to others. How true is that????

Yes, this is a good way to vent and not have anyone close know of the pain. I am a control person and have been in control of our household for many years, but I could count on him to help. Not much help now--does not want to drive anymore and he is content to stay in the house and watch tv. I suppose I should be thankful that he is not in the car driving around and getting lost. Like I have said, we are at the beginning of this condition and most of the time I forget he has problems and then he will ask the same thing over and over and then reality smacks me in the face and I say, "Oh, no." The #2 idea from the Andy Andrews book is I will seek wisdon. I will be a servant to others. How true is that????

Peggy1 I am with you all the way! Just received my husbands lab results, he is in better shape(physically) then years ago. His Cholesterol is good, Blood pressure good- no meds needed there Just the Hard drive (brain) is out of order. Just a rotten shame that he has no memory of past or present, it's like a human without a soul.

Well off to work some one has to make a buck or two- til later

Peggy1 I am with you all the way! Just received my husbands lab results, he is in better shape(physically) then years ago. His Cholesterol is good, Blood pressure good- no meds needed there Just the Hard drive (brain) is out of order. Just a rotten shame that he has no memory of past or present, it's like a human without a soul.

Well off to work some one has to make a buck or two- til later

Happy Anniversary my friend ! The important thing is YES you still have him.. the "kids" are not in your world so they look the other way and feel that they can show up for a party and keep moving. You on the other hand were trying to make a really good memory for all of you and they didnt find it as important as you do. I have the same issues with my kids. My 42 yr old dtr told me sorry she cant deal with it she has to take care of her own family....what.... isnt dad her family as well. I took that hard for a bit then it dawned on me that she cant cope and really doesnt have to cope with it like I do. Do i resent it..yes.. can i understand it.. yes.. do i like it hell NO. I hate being alone with this mess. I'm not sure it's much different with a parent in the grief loss anger sadness and overwhelming daily work to make them better.. My mom was my hero and when she died it took so much out of me. I think the difference is that we as spouses had this dream of growing old with the man/wife we love and we had a vision of traveling, loving, laughing, and talking about the future. Being comforted and held and taken care of thru our old age and when we lost that dream it was unbareable and is daily as we see them get worse and worse. The are children now when we need a husband . I can totally relate to any of you be it spouse or family member.. we suffer every day to make it better for those we love. Heck yea I am mad as hell that my dream is gone .. im alone fighting this fight and i think my mind is so tired that I cant hold my job ! What is fair about that....and to top it off the meds are more then we can pay for with the little retirement we have. So I think the illness takes prisoners and we are among the inmates !

Happy Anniversary my friend ! The important thing is YES you still have him.. the "kids" are not in your world so they look the other way and feel that they can show up for a party and keep moving. You on the other hand were trying to make a really good memory for all of you and they didnt find it as important as you do. I have the same issues with my kids. My 42 yr old dtr told me sorry she cant deal with it she has to take care of her own family....what.... isnt dad her family as well. I took that hard for a bit then it dawned on me that she cant cope and really doesnt have to cope with it like I do. Do i resent it..yes.. can i understand it.. yes.. do i like it hell NO. I hate being alone with this mess. I'm not sure it's much different with a parent in the grief loss anger sadness and overwhelming daily work to make them better.. My mom was my hero and when she died it took so much out of me. I think the difference is that we as spouses had this dream of growing old with the man/wife we love and we had a vision of traveling, loving, laughing, and talking about the future. Being comforted and held and taken care of thru our old age and when we lost that dream it was unbareable and is daily as we see them get worse and worse. The are children now when we need a husband . I can totally relate to any of you be it spouse or family member.. we suffer every day to make it better for those we love. Heck yea I am mad as hell that my dream is gone .. im alone fighting this fight and i think my mind is so tired that I cant hold my job ! What is fair about that....and to top it off the meds are more then we can pay for with the little retirement we have. So I think the illness takes prisoners and we are among the inmates !

AMEN

AMEN

sorry for my rant guys >>>>> heres a drug coupon site that takes you to the manufactures.. I just printed a 30 days cymbalta fee coupon .. looks ligitand it took me to the lilly website http://www.internetdrugcoupons.com/

sorry for my rant guys >>>>> heres a drug coupon site that takes you to the manufactures.. I just printed a 30 days cymbalta fee coupon .. looks ligitand it took me to the lilly website http://www.internetdrugcoupons.com/

Well said! Amen

Well said! Amen

You can do for others whatever you can but never expect anything in return even from your children. That was the hard fact of life I learnt at the age of 40 years.Now I am 70 years old person still ready to stand alone in the world.I had two heart attacks and my wife having stroke. I am only person looking after her immotionally. We all have to go one day. I never repent.God has given me this strength. I am thankful to Him.Rather every body of us gets this strength through his own unique experience. Amen.

You can do for others whatever you can but never expect anything in return even from your children. That was the hard fact of life I learnt at the age of 40 years.Now I am 70 years old person still ready to stand alone in the world.I had two heart attacks and my wife having stroke. I am only person looking after her immotionally. We all have to go one day. I never repent.God has given me this strength. I am thankful to Him.Rather every body of us gets this strength through his own unique experience. Amen.

One has to learn to survive even without hope.

One has to learn to survive even without hope.

thought i'd share this with all of you... i went to hear a speaker Jane Anderson with the ALZ group and she was really good.. she talked about the comparrisons between the stroke related dementa and AZ and it helped me understand more about why I see such differences..... She also said the when they forget our names its not that they dont know you they jst dont remember your name they see you as love and love by anyother name is still love ... I really enjoyed it . It was in connection with an art show that was art done by dementia and alz people. It was called memory art... wow to see all of the work was wonderful.. the paintings ranged from abstract to beautiful memories... If you get a chance to look into this do so. I was talking to an artist that holds the workshops and she said that once you get them to pick up the paint its like looking into the face of the angels ! She also shared with me her montra.... always remember to make your life 50% beautiful and 50% dutiful and you will be happy with what god has given you ! wow i have been making my life about duty not beauty ... I have to work on that one with myself I guess. But if you get a change to hear ms anderson speak do so.... she showed the brain and she said that "the emily post" od the brain just is no longer there so you simply must stop trying to contorl that behavior and learn to re direct it .. she drew the life line and went over how their memory goes backward while outs goes forward.... she said her dad started calling her laura and there had never been a laura in her family so she went back to her dads old things and found a yearbook..when she opened it a letter fell out from a girl named laura telling him she loved him..and in the pages of the book she found her picture with a heart around it...she said at that time she knew just where her dad was on the life line and she could better relate to him by talking with him about his high school days..... nice story huh..... just wanted to tell you all about her

thought i'd share this with all of you... i went to hear a speaker Jane Anderson with the ALZ group and she was really good.. she talked about the comparrisons between the stroke related dementa and AZ and it helped me understand more about why I see such differences..... She also said the when they forget our names its not that they dont know you they jst dont remember your name they see you as love and love by anyother name is still love ... I really enjoyed it . It was in connection with an art show that was art done by dementia and alz people. It was called memory art... wow to see all of the work was wonderful.. the paintings ranged from abstract to beautiful memories... If you get a chance to look into this do so. I was talking to an artist that holds the workshops and she said that once you get them to pick up the paint its like looking into the face of the angels ! She also shared with me her montra.... always remember to make your life 50% beautiful and 50% dutiful and you will be happy with what god has given you ! wow i have been making my life about duty not beauty ... I have to work on that one with myself I guess. But if you get a change to hear ms anderson speak do so.... she showed the brain and she said that "the emily post" od the brain just is no longer there so you simply must stop trying to contorl that behavior and learn to re direct it .. she drew the life line and went over how their memory goes backward while outs goes forward.... she said her dad started calling her laura and there had never been a laura in her family so she went back to her dads old things and found a yearbook..when she opened it a letter fell out from a girl named laura telling him she loved him..and in the pages of the book she found her picture with a heart around it...she said at that time she knew just where her dad was on the life line and she could better relate to him by talking with him about his high school days..... nice story huh..... just wanted to tell you all about her

I was complaining or reporting to my husband's nurse about his incontinence when she looked at me and said, "It is well.". "It is well with my soul.". Took me on a whole new direction. I just went in and cleaned the bathroom and put paper towels down in front of the commode. Some things we can not change. But she was right. It is well with my soul. In the grand scheme of things what's a little urine on the floor. I still have him and I am grateful. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

I was complaining or reporting to my husband's nurse about his incontinence when she looked at me and said, "It is well.". "It is well with my soul.". Took me on a whole new direction. I just went in and cleaned the bathroom and put paper towels down in front of the commode. Some things we can not change. But she was right. It is well with my soul. In the grand scheme of things what's a little urine on the floor. I still have him and I am grateful. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Now your catching on. Don't sweat the little stuff. The Big stuff will be here soon enough. Hugs

Now your catching on. Don't sweat the little stuff. The Big stuff will be here soon enough. Hugs

If one can have animal as pet it should be pleasure to have stroked human as pet.

If one can have animal as pet it should be pleasure to have stroked human as pet.

Learning never stops.Many new things to learn.Keep on telling the stories all will enjoy and will improve their experince.

Learning never stops.Many new things to learn.Keep on telling the stories all will enjoy and will improve their experince.

Up way too early today--4:00AM. He got up to go to the bathroom and I woke up and tried to go back to sleep but to no avail so up I am. Tonight we go to the AL symphony and Art Garfunkel will be the guest. We are both looking forward to it. Last night we went out to dinner with friends and he got so turned around and didn't know where we were--just about three miles from our house. He kept saying he had never seen that restaurant before. sad I ordered for him and then he couldn't remember what he was getting--kept asking. I know our friends didn't realize how quickly he is changing and I could see the love and concern in their eyes.

3 on Andy Andrews book is I am a person of action. I seize this moment. I choose now.

Have a good day, everyone.

Up way too early today--4:00AM. He got up to go to the bathroom and I woke up and tried to go back to sleep but to no avail so up I am. Tonight we go to the AL symphony and Art Garfunkel will be the guest. We are both looking forward to it. Last night we went out to dinner with friends and he got so turned around and didn't know where we were--just about three miles from our house. He kept saying he had never seen that restaurant before. sad I ordered for him and then he couldn't remember what he was getting--kept asking. I know our friends didn't realize how quickly he is changing and I could see the love and concern in their eyes.

3 on Andy Andrews book is I am a person of action. I seize this moment. I choose now.

Have a good day, everyone.

Good morning friends, thank you so much for redirecting my thoughts this morning. I am sorry for starting everyone off on the negative path yesterday. This is the day that the LORD has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. I really liked the things you all have posted, plan to get the Andy Andrews book, I get such solace and strength, peace, from reading. I do wish we lived in a city that speaks ALZ, you would think Tampa being such a huge place would have some resources. I am going to call the ALZ Assn number again today, maybe I just got a dud last time. The art project is one that I desperately would like to see done here, in fact, I know an artist at my church, may ask her if she would look into giving art lessons to dementia patients as a mission. I just need to get something going here. I looked into the web site for the free drugs, will complete some forms and submit them, hopefully can get some help with that. The main thing is not to fear, it is the enemy and takes me off the path of positive and loving trust. Nothing is too hard for GOD, He will sustain me and not let my foot slip. Just as I refocus my husband, you all have refocused me. I thank God each day for each of you and pray peace and blessings for each of you.

Good morning friends, thank you so much for redirecting my thoughts this morning. I am sorry for starting everyone off on the negative path yesterday. This is the day that the LORD has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. I really liked the things you all have posted, plan to get the Andy Andrews book, I get such solace and strength, peace, from reading. I do wish we lived in a city that speaks ALZ, you would think Tampa being such a huge place would have some resources. I am going to call the ALZ Assn number again today, maybe I just got a dud last time. The art project is one that I desperately would like to see done here, in fact, I know an artist at my church, may ask her if she would look into giving art lessons to dementia patients as a mission. I just need to get something going here. I looked into the web site for the free drugs, will complete some forms and submit them, hopefully can get some help with that. The main thing is not to fear, it is the enemy and takes me off the path of positive and loving trust. Nothing is too hard for GOD, He will sustain me and not let my foot slip. Just as I refocus my husband, you all have refocused me. I thank God each day for each of you and pray peace and blessings for each of you.

Thanks for your post. If you are on FB there is a Andy Andrews site where he posts each day and some days it has been the best thing for me to smile and say, "Yes, I can." Off to take my granddaughter to nursery school and then I am going to the gym. Need some"me" time.

Thanks for your post. If you are on FB there is a Andy Andrews site where he posts each day and some days it has been the best thing for me to smile and say, "Yes, I can." Off to take my granddaughter to nursery school and then I am going to the gym. Need some"me" time.

Hi all.. the art project is an ALZ project.... the director here is doing a workshop for people to help heres the info off of the alz web site

"Memories in the Making® is an art program for people with dementia that was developed over 20 years ago by two artists working with the Orange County (CA) Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. The program is now offered by some 18 chapters of the Association nationwide." If tampa doesny have it maybe you and the artist friend can do it. Peggy i have the same issues, dinner i always have to order and he forgets what he wanted .... when i am drving he gets lost but when he drives with me in the car he doesnt. Sounds like our spouses are in the same place. The speaker yesterday said that in the stage our spouses are at you need to be sure to do a thyroid test and do a reg test on the folic acid,b12,b6,and so on tests because they change and effect their vasular system. I too say sorry i was so down yesterday but everyday is a new day for us so on to better things

Hi all.. the art project is an ALZ project.... the director here is doing a workshop for people to help heres the info off of the alz web site

"Memories in the Making® is an art program for people with dementia that was developed over 20 years ago by two artists working with the Orange County (CA) Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. The program is now offered by some 18 chapters of the Association nationwide." If tampa doesny have it maybe you and the artist friend can do it. Peggy i have the same issues, dinner i always have to order and he forgets what he wanted .... when i am drving he gets lost but when he drives with me in the car he doesnt. Sounds like our spouses are in the same place. The speaker yesterday said that in the stage our spouses are at you need to be sure to do a thyroid test and do a reg test on the folic acid,b12,b6,and so on tests because they change and effect their vasular system. I too say sorry i was so down yesterday but everyday is a new day for us so on to better things

Though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength. Habakkuk 3:17-19

Though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength. Habakkuk 3:17-19

its the weekend mny friends ... not that ir matters much around here but .. long nite as most always just wanted to say hello and and enjoy the day !! ANd Frazzled where are you //// no posts in a long time ////

its the weekend mny friends ... not that ir matters much around here but .. long nite as most always just wanted to say hello and and enjoy the day !! ANd Frazzled where are you //// no posts in a long time ////

Happy Saturday friends. He woke up early and started asking questions so no sleep for the weary on my day off! He has been sad, thinks he is in prision and can't figure what he did that was so wrong. Actually, that is very insightful, they really are locked in their minds and they didnt do anything to deserve it. Of course, he wanted me to call his wife for him, named his first wifes name first, then when I said I didnt know her number, then he said to call me( my name). It hurts to see him so sad, I finally have been discussing his disease with him, letting him know when he is confused or cant remember, that is dementia and to ask me and I will help. I think he has gotten a lot of comfort from that. I told him he isnt crazy, that he has a disease that we are taking medicine and supplements to try to get his memory back and he seems satisfied with that, even ask me when is it time to take it again? I have found a trick that works with him peeing all over the place in the bathroom, I told him that when he stands up, the pressure on the floor in front of the commode makes that toliet leak and causes me to have to stop and clean it up so I have asked him to sit down and lately it is working. Try that and see if it works for you. My stress level seems to be more and more as I watch the finances getting worse and worse and no end in sight. I just have to get stuff together and go to the medicad office to see if I can get some relief. The country is so broke with all the people out of work, I really dont have much hope of that. I just know there has to be an answer. I love the Habakkuk 3:17-19 passage, it has always given me so much peace and encouragment. thanks for posting it. Blessings one and all.

Happy Saturday friends. He woke up early and started asking questions so no sleep for the weary on my day off! He has been sad, thinks he is in prision and can't figure what he did that was so wrong. Actually, that is very insightful, they really are locked in their minds and they didnt do anything to deserve it. Of course, he wanted me to call his wife for him, named his first wifes name first, then when I said I didnt know her number, then he said to call me( my name). It hurts to see him so sad, I finally have been discussing his disease with him, letting him know when he is confused or cant remember, that is dementia and to ask me and I will help. I think he has gotten a lot of comfort from that. I told him he isnt crazy, that he has a disease that we are taking medicine and supplements to try to get his memory back and he seems satisfied with that, even ask me when is it time to take it again? I have found a trick that works with him peeing all over the place in the bathroom, I told him that when he stands up, the pressure on the floor in front of the commode makes that toliet leak and causes me to have to stop and clean it up so I have asked him to sit down and lately it is working. Try that and see if it works for you. My stress level seems to be more and more as I watch the finances getting worse and worse and no end in sight. I just have to get stuff together and go to the medicad office to see if I can get some relief. The country is so broke with all the people out of work, I really dont have much hope of that. I just know there has to be an answer. I love the Habakkuk 3:17-19 passage, it has always given me so much peace and encouragment. thanks for posting it. Blessings one and all.

I thought we where doing Ok this week, but upon coming home from work 3PM, My husband was waiting by the door sobbing, I asked him "what's wrong" he said the guys (Lawncare) outside are making too much noise and it's driving him crazy, it took me some time settle him down, this was the first time that he seemed so scared and panicky, the sad thing is at times he knows things are slipping fast- he seems to be less aware of it as the disease progresses. As far as the toilet issue, he has been doing the sit down for quite some time, but for the last couple of months he fails to flush, which I found somewhat annoying, but turned out to be a blessing in disguise, when we went for his physical , the Dr. asked if he had regular bowel movement, well I would never know if it werent the fact of no toilet flushing. So that said, things work outi in mysterious ways As far as getting a break for medications- you might want to try contacting the pharmec.CO. that produces the meds. If you need contact # let me know I will forward the Phone# (I work in a Psychiatrist off.) Sometimes they give discount coupon to the Doctors (you might want ask your Dr)

I thought we where doing Ok this week, but upon coming home from work 3PM, My husband was waiting by the door sobbing, I asked him "what's wrong" he said the guys (Lawncare) outside are making too much noise and it's driving him crazy, it took me some time settle him down, this was the first time that he seemed so scared and panicky, the sad thing is at times he knows things are slipping fast- he seems to be less aware of it as the disease progresses. As far as the toilet issue, he has been doing the sit down for quite some time, but for the last couple of months he fails to flush, which I found somewhat annoying, but turned out to be a blessing in disguise, when we went for his physical , the Dr. asked if he had regular bowel movement, well I would never know if it werent the fact of no toilet flushing. So that said, things work outi in mysterious ways As far as getting a break for medications- you might want to try contacting the pharmec.CO. that produces the meds. If you need contact # let me know I will forward the Phone# (I work in a Psychiatrist off.) Sometimes they give discount coupon to the Doctors (you might want ask your Dr)

My heart is with you all. It is a tough job we face but strength comes. I had a couple of sleepless nights this week as well. Makes me feel so dingy. We got good news from the renal doctor. His protein and creatinine are down some so the herbs are working. She said they are not hurting him and they seem to be helping so she would keep him on them. The cost is outrageous but God willing we will do it for as long as we can. She didn't want me to give him Seroquel sp? yet because of side effects and I don't think he really needs it yet either. I never thought of him sitting on the commode although in his case he has trouble getting up and down. It might not work for him as well since he dribbles from the bed to the commode but I love your explanation of the commode leaking! Bless you! I think I might try the water proof baby bed pads. Cut one in quarters and leave it in front of the commode. They are washable so they might work. We just have to figure it all out as we go, don't we? We haven't been testing his sugar in the middle of the night but last night I did and it was high. That might contribute to some of his restlessness. He felt better after he got more insulin. I really feel more and more like a nurse but hey, there are much worse jobs.

My heart is with you all. It is a tough job we face but strength comes. I had a couple of sleepless nights this week as well. Makes me feel so dingy. We got good news from the renal doctor. His protein and creatinine are down some so the herbs are working. She said they are not hurting him and they seem to be helping so she would keep him on them. The cost is outrageous but God willing we will do it for as long as we can. She didn't want me to give him Seroquel sp? yet because of side effects and I don't think he really needs it yet either. I never thought of him sitting on the commode although in his case he has trouble getting up and down. It might not work for him as well since he dribbles from the bed to the commode but I love your explanation of the commode leaking! Bless you! I think I might try the water proof baby bed pads. Cut one in quarters and leave it in front of the commode. They are washable so they might work. We just have to figure it all out as we go, don't we? We haven't been testing his sugar in the middle of the night but last night I did and it was high. That might contribute to some of his restlessness. He felt better after he got more insulin. I really feel more and more like a nurse but hey, there are much worse jobs.

My wife some times asks me if I am the same person one who gave bath to her and the one who helped while taking lunch.I asked her if she is the same woman whom I gave bath and the one whom I have helped while taking lunch. She laughed on that.

My wife some times asks me if I am the same person one who gave bath to her and the one who helped while taking lunch.I asked her if she is the same woman whom I gave bath and the one whom I have helped while taking lunch. She laughed on that.

nice to laugh with them ,,,, its really nice to see joy from time to time... as to the potty he always stands up so i bought the bigg dog unsented puppy pads i just made a pattern from one of my toliet rugs cut out the pattern in the pads and the cost is mini.. just throw away and replace as needed .. works great .. I took john to the memories in the making art show he liked it but was not inspired much... the classes are on weds but i dont think i'll get him to go. Lots of name calling today so I am just a wreck. I so wish i could just hear it and throw it away but my soul aches . Its so hard to get thru this my friends. I am a care giver and a mommie to all his needs but I seem to be pulling back from him more and more. I wish for a blue moon to give me one day of our old life but just not gonna happen

nice to laugh with them ,,,, its really nice to see joy from time to time... as to the potty he always stands up so i bought the bigg dog unsented puppy pads i just made a pattern from one of my toliet rugs cut out the pattern in the pads and the cost is mini.. just throw away and replace as needed .. works great .. I took john to the memories in the making art show he liked it but was not inspired much... the classes are on weds but i dont think i'll get him to go. Lots of name calling today so I am just a wreck. I so wish i could just hear it and throw it away but my soul aches . Its so hard to get thru this my friends. I am a care giver and a mommie to all his needs but I seem to be pulling back from him more and more. I wish for a blue moon to give me one day of our old life but just not gonna happen

What a great idea about the puppy pads, I am kind of afraid he might trip on it but may try it.I am going through lysol wipes like crazy! I know what you mean about wishing for just a day of the old self but then, hey, we use to argue like crazy at times and hold grudges. This way, he doesnt remember from one minute to the next if I am hateful or not, and I certainly cant stay mad at him, he breaks my heart. Sometimes, even with the not recognizing me or asking the same thing over and over, I realize that he is really a nicer man now and I certainly have changed and am not such a shrew so life is really much more peaceful at times. Praying for a good night of restful sleep for everyone and a peaceful and worshipful Sunday tomorrow.

What a great idea about the puppy pads, I am kind of afraid he might trip on it but may try it.I am going through lysol wipes like crazy! I know what you mean about wishing for just a day of the old self but then, hey, we use to argue like crazy at times and hold grudges. This way, he doesnt remember from one minute to the next if I am hateful or not, and I certainly cant stay mad at him, he breaks my heart. Sometimes, even with the not recognizing me or asking the same thing over and over, I realize that he is really a nicer man now and I certainly have changed and am not such a shrew so life is really much more peaceful at times. Praying for a good night of restful sleep for everyone and a peaceful and worshipful Sunday tomorrow.

the large puppy pads stick to the floor so they dont pose much of a trip fall prob and its so nice just to toss them out . John was not very noce before this a lot of the time and dang he is worse now//// its like the good things died and the mean man is all thats left most of the time. I am told that as he goes thru this he will be better when he is worse...man i hate that so much. How dare I hope for worse. My stress is of the charts with the worrys on our finances and the med's and just the day to day keeping up and now I have to retire soon because I just cant work with my stress level. I have to stop remembering our old life and the grief for it is the worst. I guess you can tell I had a really bad day sorry to vent so much.

the large puppy pads stick to the floor so they dont pose much of a trip fall prob and its so nice just to toss them out . John was not very noce before this a lot of the time and dang he is worse now//// its like the good things died and the mean man is all thats left most of the time. I am told that as he goes thru this he will be better when he is worse...man i hate that so much. How dare I hope for worse. My stress is of the charts with the worrys on our finances and the med's and just the day to day keeping up and now I have to retire soon because I just cant work with my stress level. I have to stop remembering our old life and the grief for it is the worst. I guess you can tell I had a really bad day sorry to vent so much.

The puppy pads are a great idea. I may try them over the baby bed pads. I understand the sadness. The naturopath told me a lot of women abandon their husbands whe they are sick. That really doesn't enter my mind. I cherish my time with him. I am sure the worst is yet to come but I am grateful for today and tomorrow will have to take care of itself.

The puppy pads are a great idea. I may try them over the baby bed pads. I understand the sadness. The naturopath told me a lot of women abandon their husbands whe they are sick. That really doesn't enter my mind. I cherish my time with him. I am sure the worst is yet to come but I am grateful for today and tomorrow will have to take care of itself.

As terrible as his diagnosis is it was good to put a name to this enemy. I was able to step back and realize the rudeness and anger was not really him. My husband is much nicer on the Namenda. He needs me more and my retiring took away a lot of the stress. I handle things pretty well unless I am not well or his needs are greater. His being diabetic and needing help with all his meds tires me out but I try not to stress too much. If he has to go on dialysis it will get pretty rough but I am giving it to the Lord. Worry doesn't really make me feel better. If I'm up a lot at night at least I can take a nap in the day time.

As terrible as his diagnosis is it was good to put a name to this enemy. I was able to step back and realize the rudeness and anger was not really him. My husband is much nicer on the Namenda. He needs me more and my retiring took away a lot of the stress. I handle things pretty well unless I am not well or his needs are greater. His being diabetic and needing help with all his meds tires me out but I try not to stress too much. If he has to go on dialysis it will get pretty rough but I am giving it to the Lord. Worry doesn't really make me feel better. If I'm up a lot at night at least I can take a nap in the day time.

Well, friends, the Birthday/Anniv. party was a huge success. Jerry enjoyed it and was good the whole time. two of his sons were here with him, and my hula group did 2 numbers, and everyone enjoyed them. Had a good turnout, and we played a couple games, and had finger foods, and I got 2 cakes, so had a lot left over. WE have fellowship after church, so left all the stuff over for that tomorrow. All my hard work was worth it, and he even said Thanks for the party. Only 80 once, and he is worth it to me. We don't know how much longer we have them, only God knows that, so I will have good memories.
We even danced to the special song the keyboard player played for us. I am exhausted, but a good one. Praise God! Wanted to share some good news with you all.

Well, friends, the Birthday/Anniv. party was a huge success. Jerry enjoyed it and was good the whole time. two of his sons were here with him, and my hula group did 2 numbers, and everyone enjoyed them. Had a good turnout, and we played a couple games, and had finger foods, and I got 2 cakes, so had a lot left over. WE have fellowship after church, so left all the stuff over for that tomorrow. All my hard work was worth it, and he even said Thanks for the party. Only 80 once, and he is worth it to me. We don't know how much longer we have them, only God knows that, so I will have good memories.
We even danced to the special song the keyboard player played for us. I am exhausted, but a good one. Praise God! Wanted to share some good news with you all.

I have learnt to sleep like animals. As and when there is time I sleep. No fixed times. Once you are habituated no problem. Sort of learning.One may try.

I have learnt to sleep like animals. As and when there is time I sleep. No fixed times. Once you are habituated no problem. Sort of learning.One may try.

That is a interesting prespective on sleep, only problem is the rest of the world expects you to be on their schedule, ie, bosses at work, events that begin and end at a certain time. I guess if one could drop out and tune out, kind of like our spouses, that would work. And then we have them that sleep so sporadically, when they are awake when we are wanting to sleep... what do we do then? I get up early trying to have some time to myself which is more important to me than sleep which i have always felt was over-rated. But my husband gets up too so I am never really alone for very long at a time, but then he falls asleep again at the drop of a hat and I am left in peace for a little while, like now. I pray that each of us will find joy and laughter today and a deep sense of thankfulness. Back when I was going to Alanon for the alchohol addiction in my family, we use to feel sorry for those who didnt because of the deep truths we learned about ourselves, our God and about others when we met together as a group and shared our successes and our pain. We said the whole world should experience it. That maybe is how we should look at this time of our lives, we are learning, growing and being changed, loving each other in the most intimate way by sharing this experience. without ever meeting face to face or knowing each others names. That is truly a blessing.

That is a interesting prespective on sleep, only problem is the rest of the world expects you to be on their schedule, ie, bosses at work, events that begin and end at a certain time. I guess if one could drop out and tune out, kind of like our spouses, that would work. And then we have them that sleep so sporadically, when they are awake when we are wanting to sleep... what do we do then? I get up early trying to have some time to myself which is more important to me than sleep which i have always felt was over-rated. But my husband gets up too so I am never really alone for very long at a time, but then he falls asleep again at the drop of a hat and I am left in peace for a little while, like now. I pray that each of us will find joy and laughter today and a deep sense of thankfulness. Back when I was going to Alanon for the alchohol addiction in my family, we use to feel sorry for those who didnt because of the deep truths we learned about ourselves, our God and about others when we met together as a group and shared our successes and our pain. We said the whole world should experience it. That maybe is how we should look at this time of our lives, we are learning, growing and being changed, loving each other in the most intimate way by sharing this experience. without ever meeting face to face or knowing each others names. That is truly a blessing.

So happy to hear the party was a success and you had joy. Maybe your kids needed to see that, I know my daughter and the rest of the family resent my husband and his illness, they think he is sucking the life out of me and that I should just put him in a home and get on with my life. They have no clue how precious this time with him is to me or the joy that is still possible, they think it is all negative. I pray that your family and friends might have gotten an insight into your life and be more of a support to you from now on. Happy Anniversary! Hold onto the memory when the bad times come, it helps to get you through. Blessings to you both!

So happy to hear the party was a success and you had joy. Maybe your kids needed to see that, I know my daughter and the rest of the family resent my husband and his illness, they think he is sucking the life out of me and that I should just put him in a home and get on with my life. They have no clue how precious this time with him is to me or the joy that is still possible, they think it is all negative. I pray that your family and friends might have gotten an insight into your life and be more of a support to you from now on. Happy Anniversary! Hold onto the memory when the bad times come, it helps to get you through. Blessings to you both!

Sat. was a good day--college football. I took care of my granddaughter again because my daughter is still sick--flu like symptoms. All in all it was a good day.

Sat. was a good day--college football. I took care of my granddaughter again because my daughter is still sick--flu like symptoms. All in all it was a good day.

My husband loves his Crocs. We found him some at Academy that are dressy enough for church and when he accidentally tinkles on them I just hose them down. They are most comfortable for him and I thank God for the little things he can and does still enjoy.

My husband loves his Crocs. We found him some at Academy that are dressy enough for church and when he accidentally tinkles on them I just hose them down. They are most comfortable for him and I thank God for the little things he can and does still enjoy.

Sounds like we are all coping in our own unique way. One day at a time, can't plan tomorrow because we don't know what it brings, all the sleepless nights of worry will not put a dent into our future. I know it's easier said then done, but truly live for the moment hope and pray the money will last long enough t see us through.

You might enjoy this. I went to a Sunday brunch today (about 2 hours solo) and the subject of my husbands condition came up, one particular lady spoke up and stated that " how could I leave my husband home alone" that I should be ashamed of myself and stay at home and keep him company & see to his well being, she surely laid into me, at first I was quite irked by her comment, and then I realized she doesn't have a clue what issues I am dealing with. She surely was not aware of his daily needs etc.. and that I also have needs, socializing etc.- if I didn't get out sometimes I surely would end up in the Funny farm! Half way there already - haha The good thing is, for the time being I can still leave for a couple of hours and he can take care of his essentials needs with out any problems. Basically he wants to be left alone, in his comfort zone, daily conversation is a problem, because he can't understand 70% of the conversation well thank you again for letting me vent- feels good

Sounds like we are all coping in our own unique way. One day at a time, can't plan tomorrow because we don't know what it brings, all the sleepless nights of worry will not put a dent into our future. I know it's easier said then done, but truly live for the moment hope and pray the money will last long enough t see us through.

You might enjoy this. I went to a Sunday brunch today (about 2 hours solo) and the subject of my husbands condition came up, one particular lady spoke up and stated that " how could I leave my husband home alone" that I should be ashamed of myself and stay at home and keep him company & see to his well being, she surely laid into me, at first I was quite irked by her comment, and then I realized she doesn't have a clue what issues I am dealing with. She surely was not aware of his daily needs etc.. and that I also have needs, socializing etc.- if I didn't get out sometimes I surely would end up in the Funny farm! Half way there already - haha The good thing is, for the time being I can still leave for a couple of hours and he can take care of his essentials needs with out any problems. Basically he wants to be left alone, in his comfort zone, daily conversation is a problem, because he can't understand 70% of the conversation well thank you again for letting me vent- feels good

Others to understand your problems is next to impossible unless he has passed through the same. Therefore advece from others to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Others to understand your problems is next to impossible unless he has passed through the same. Therefore advece from others to be taken with a pinch of salt.

I learn more when I reveal more.

I learn more when I reveal more.

Wow--a lot to read and worth the time to hear from everyone. I took care of Lauren again today, for five hours after church. Daughter is still sick so will take Lauren to nursery school in the morning. So glad I can help. Husband was good today at church and seemed to be at ease. He just asked where the toothpick were and I just said by the stove next to the spices. He still couldn't find them--and the sad thing is that is where they have been for twenty-two months!!! Lord, give me patience. Have a good night's sleep and will check in on Monday.

Wow--a lot to read and worth the time to hear from everyone. I took care of Lauren again today, for five hours after church. Daughter is still sick so will take Lauren to nursery school in the morning. So glad I can help. Husband was good today at church and seemed to be at ease. He just asked where the toothpick were and I just said by the stove next to the spices. He still couldn't find them--and the sad thing is that is where they have been for twenty-two months!!! Lord, give me patience. Have a good night's sleep and will check in on Monday.

I am taking a Caregiver's seminar and they STRESS taking care of yourself Ernaburger. I am not as independent as they would like for me to be. I justify it by the fact he has the most aggressive FTD and will not have as many days left on this earth as most Alz patients. And he has so many other problems as well. I am ok with it though. But if you are able to get out and go don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. Shame on her.

The potty chair over the commode sounds like a great idea. Thank you Dollbutton! I am winging it as I go and these hints and tips really do help.

Peace and may everyone get a good nights sleep tonight.

I am taking a Caregiver's seminar and they STRESS taking care of yourself Ernaburger. I am not as independent as they would like for me to be. I justify it by the fact he has the most aggressive FTD and will not have as many days left on this earth as most Alz patients. And he has so many other problems as well. I am ok with it though. But if you are able to get out and go don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. Shame on her.

The potty chair over the commode sounds like a great idea. Thank you Dollbutton! I am winging it as I go and these hints and tips really do help.

Peace and may everyone get a good nights sleep tonight.

Ernaburger I can relate to the lawn noise, we have the lawn people come every week from the strata, and the noise also drives my hubby crazy. Hope to buy another home early next year, haven't rented since 1977 (sold our home in June). I am in British Columbia, Canada, so our medical and support is different. I wish I were still working, never wanted to be a nurse - dispensing meds, etc. His dementia is recent, we have good and bad days. Yesterday I went out for 6 hours, he wasn't happy, but was ok. Forgot to ask the doctor about Namenda last week, next time. The middle of the night wandering scares me, our bedroom is upstairs, before it was all on same floor. His balance is not great. Can relate to everyone, so tired, and no life, no friends, other family problems, and spouse has other health problems. Thanks for sharing everyone.

Ernaburger I can relate to the lawn noise, we have the lawn people come every week from the strata, and the noise also drives my hubby crazy. Hope to buy another home early next year, haven't rented since 1977 (sold our home in June). I am in British Columbia, Canada, so our medical and support is different. I wish I were still working, never wanted to be a nurse - dispensing meds, etc. His dementia is recent, we have good and bad days. Yesterday I went out for 6 hours, he wasn't happy, but was ok. Forgot to ask the doctor about Namenda last week, next time. The middle of the night wandering scares me, our bedroom is upstairs, before it was all on same floor. His balance is not great. Can relate to everyone, so tired, and no life, no friends, other family problems, and spouse has other health problems. Thanks for sharing everyone.

Too bad you didnt think to say, " You are right, he shouldnt be by himself so here are the keys to the house and directions, you just toodle yourself over there and keep him company!" Jeez, the nerve of some people is amazing. Most people are so clueless, always someone trying to rain on our priceless " me" time. If they only knew, you probably were already in the back of your mind worried and feeling guilty about being away from him, at least that is what happens to me. Oh for a little understanding from the rest of the world. I will say the folks from our church are stepping up, we already have invites to Thanksgiving celebrations and also to the Christmas Progressive Dinner so I guess my asking a few people for help worked, we seem to be not so left out, they are seeing that he is still a real person, doesnt have 2 heads or something. It was a good weekend and so far a peaceful morning, of course, he is still asleep so we will see if he knows who I am when he wakes up this morning. Thanks for sharing everyone, keep the faith. This is the day the LorD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Too bad you didnt think to say, " You are right, he shouldnt be by himself so here are the keys to the house and directions, you just toodle yourself over there and keep him company!" Jeez, the nerve of some people is amazing. Most people are so clueless, always someone trying to rain on our priceless " me" time. If they only knew, you probably were already in the back of your mind worried and feeling guilty about being away from him, at least that is what happens to me. Oh for a little understanding from the rest of the world. I will say the folks from our church are stepping up, we already have invites to Thanksgiving celebrations and also to the Christmas Progressive Dinner so I guess my asking a few people for help worked, we seem to be not so left out, they are seeing that he is still a real person, doesnt have 2 heads or something. It was a good weekend and so far a peaceful morning, of course, he is still asleep so we will see if he knows who I am when he wakes up this morning. Thanks for sharing everyone, keep the faith. This is the day the LorD has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

I sooooo enjoy my time chatting with you all,it is most therapeutic, I log on first thing in the morning when things are still quiet around here. I don't do well by going to Alz. group sessions, first most people are dealing with their parents disease, while it is stressful for them I think it's different when dealing with your spouses Alz.not to minimize their problems but I can't relate their issues to mine, so I stopped going. I find chatting with you all works best for me, from sharing helpful hints to funny situations etc.. You are right I always feel guilty when leaving the house,for what ever reason that may be, but I am able to push it aside, I would be no good to my husband if I stayed home 24/7 I would die emotionally and just about wilt away. So I remind myself by doing for myself I do for him too. Besides he refuses to go anywhere or socialize, because his comprehension has gone down hill quite a bit, thereby unable to communicate or understand extended conversation especially in a group setting he prefers to stay by himself. I have considered retiring but to stay sane I will work as long as I can (3days) besides the cost of living keeps rising, just received our Re tax bill, it sure went through the roof, I surely don't know what people do that live strictly on SS, Once the Real estate market settles I seriously will consider moving to a condo- just to simplify my life & ease exp. So far this past week went well no night time issues, and that seems to be half the battle, boy a good nights sleep is so important

Enough said, have a good day

I sooooo enjoy my time chatting with you all,it is most therapeutic, I log on first thing in the morning when things are still quiet around here. I don't do well by going to Alz. group sessions, first most people are dealing with their parents disease, while it is stressful for them I think it's different when dealing with your spouses Alz.not to minimize their problems but I can't relate their issues to mine, so I stopped going. I find chatting with you all works best for me, from sharing helpful hints to funny situations etc.. You are right I always feel guilty when leaving the house,for what ever reason that may be, but I am able to push it aside, I would be no good to my husband if I stayed home 24/7 I would die emotionally and just about wilt away. So I remind myself by doing for myself I do for him too. Besides he refuses to go anywhere or socialize, because his comprehension has gone down hill quite a bit, thereby unable to communicate or understand extended conversation especially in a group setting he prefers to stay by himself. I have considered retiring but to stay sane I will work as long as I can (3days) besides the cost of living keeps rising, just received our Re tax bill, it sure went through the roof, I surely don't know what people do that live strictly on SS, Once the Real estate market settles I seriously will consider moving to a condo- just to simplify my life & ease exp. So far this past week went well no night time issues, and that seems to be half the battle, boy a good nights sleep is so important

Enough said, have a good day

Happy Monday All..... Auto I am so glad your party went great we get so few times to make a good memory that when they come we need to charish them and revist them when the times are bad. It was a really bad weekend. The yoyo was swinging wildly and I can't seem to get from point A happy and talking all the way to anger and yelling in in just seconds then back to point A . The vascular dementia is different in that it depends on how the pump is working and sending blood to the brain. With the A-fib he is prone to wild swings. Man it was a wild world this weekend. I did catch up on all the postings and can sure relate to all the issues. so understand the ALZ groups and not finding a group that speaks to spouses as well as elderly parents. My spouse tries to hide his confusion and at times I just dont know when he is having "a big brain fart" and not the daily stuff. We had all the toots this weekend but I am beginning to think that he has an infection somewhere .. he is diabetic and I think he has been getting up at nite and eating. I believe if we could control the diabeates better we could help him 10 fold. He refused most of the meds all weekend, I was able to get some insulin in him. Woke up to find him sitting in the kitchen a weepings at 4 this morning, he said he cant understand why he is sad but he is so sad. Breaks my heart for sure. The doctor wants to put him on ambien to sleep but i am scared of it... do any of you have experience with this sleep drug? I hope to get a doctor for the depression and sadness but he tends to refuses to do anything I try to get him to do. Its like I am his worst enemy....how do I get past the mistrust ? Punkersad where are you, I miss your posts is all ok ?

Happy Monday All..... Auto I am so glad your party went great we get so few times to make a good memory that when they come we need to charish them and revist them when the times are bad. It was a really bad weekend. The yoyo was swinging wildly and I can't seem to get from point A happy and talking all the way to anger and yelling in in just seconds then back to point A . The vascular dementia is different in that it depends on how the pump is working and sending blood to the brain. With the A-fib he is prone to wild swings. Man it was a wild world this weekend. I did catch up on all the postings and can sure relate to all the issues. so understand the ALZ groups and not finding a group that speaks to spouses as well as elderly parents. My spouse tries to hide his confusion and at times I just dont know when he is having "a big brain fart" and not the daily stuff. We had all the toots this weekend but I am beginning to think that he has an infection somewhere .. he is diabetic and I think he has been getting up at nite and eating. I believe if we could control the diabeates better we could help him 10 fold. He refused most of the meds all weekend, I was able to get some insulin in him. Woke up to find him sitting in the kitchen a weepings at 4 this morning, he said he cant understand why he is sad but he is so sad. Breaks my heart for sure. The doctor wants to put him on ambien to sleep but i am scared of it... do any of you have experience with this sleep drug? I hope to get a doctor for the depression and sadness but he tends to refuses to do anything I try to get him to do. Its like I am his worst enemy....how do I get past the mistrust ? Punkersad where are you, I miss your posts is all ok ?

Everything is ok but I dont have a spouse who has dementia so I thought based on some of the posts that you guys didnt want me here. My dad was depressed after he had the first heart attack and no one treated him for that. I was not in control of his meds when he first had the heart attack so I dont know what the docs recommended at that time. I really think that if your heart is messed up that that can lead to major depression. People get so confused sometimes.

Everything is ok but I dont have a spouse who has dementia so I thought based on some of the posts that you guys didnt want me here. My dad was depressed after he had the first heart attack and no one treated him for that. I was not in control of his meds when he first had the heart attack so I dont know what the docs recommended at that time. I really think that if your heart is messed up that that can lead to major depression. People get so confused sometimes.

punkersad, It is very common to have depression after a heart attack or surgery, most people have no idea what's happening to them nor do the family mambers understand, why they are sad and unmotivated. The good thing is there is help out there, go to Psychiatrist & get the right meds, be patient it may take some time for the Doc. to figure out what works for the PT (right meds.& dosage) everyones system reacts diff. to meds & dosage. AS FAR AS AM CONCERNED -YOU ARE WELCOME

punkersad, It is very common to have depression after a heart attack or surgery, most people have no idea what's happening to them nor do the family mambers understand, why they are sad and unmotivated. The good thing is there is help out there, go to Psychiatrist & get the right meds, be patient it may take some time for the Doc. to figure out what works for the PT (right meds.& dosage) everyones system reacts diff. to meds & dosage. AS FAR AS AM CONCERNED -YOU ARE WELCOME

My spouse is getting more depressed and the anti-depressants really don't take away the sadness, we were let down by the Mental Health system as soon as they diagnosed the mild dementia, no help. He won't go for any talk help as his memory is quite bad, yet he remembers daily stuff that annoys him, which is everything it seems.
He constantly worries about the cat, our sons, me when I go out (that something will happen). I tell him I have to go out sometimes for a mental health break, or to get groceries, pay bills.
It is raining a lot here, so that stops the walks, and exercise for better moods. He is irritable, and I can't blame him, giving up, and no friends. I try to keep a positive outlook, his moods rub off on me, and there is no where in this house to even carry on a private conversation with someone on the phone. When I talk to my mom, nothing about him, he gets upset when she asks me to repeat things at times, yet he does that all the time (I guess it is his guilt over his own asking for repeats). I spend very little time on the phone because it upsets him, he feels lonely and that he has no control. I really feel compassion for what he is going through. Our new neighbours are barely around, we feel so alone. Yes we have tried churches and not stayed, nor felt a part of. We were a part of AA/Alanon before we moved to this city 5 1/2 years ago, that is why we want to move back to our old community, where we still know people (that may not happen until next year). We did attend and have acquaintances here, and no longer attend meetings due to his dementia - doesn't remember people, so no support there. We occasionally go to the Club and chat. I will try the Alz. group and see if any help there. My Mom and step-dad worry about both of us, and that is not good (mom has high blood pressure). They will be closer when we move back. Spouse's sister phoned yesterday and I explained more of what is going on, and I don't think she really gets it. She is also a distance away, our moving will bring us closer. I am so overwhelmed, had a good sleep last night, and am tired already. He forgot to take his Warfarin when I told him yesterday, and it was late, though seldom that happens. I sat and watched nature shows and crime show with him last night and put off what I had to do. Had a good supper at home. He copes by going and crawling into bed when the weather is bad. I dread fall and winter, though fall has been really good until now.

My spouse is getting more depressed and the anti-depressants really don't take away the sadness, we were let down by the Mental Health system as soon as they diagnosed the mild dementia, no help. He won't go for any talk help as his memory is quite bad, yet he remembers daily stuff that annoys him, which is everything it seems.
He constantly worries about the cat, our sons, me when I go out (that something will happen). I tell him I have to go out sometimes for a mental health break, or to get groceries, pay bills.
It is raining a lot here, so that stops the walks, and exercise for better moods. He is irritable, and I can't blame him, giving up, and no friends. I try to keep a positive outlook, his moods rub off on me, and there is no where in this house to even carry on a private conversation with someone on the phone. When I talk to my mom, nothing about him, he gets upset when she asks me to repeat things at times, yet he does that all the time (I guess it is his guilt over his own asking for repeats). I spend very little time on the phone because it upsets him, he feels lonely and that he has no control. I really feel compassion for what he is going through. Our new neighbours are barely around, we feel so alone. Yes we have tried churches and not stayed, nor felt a part of. We were a part of AA/Alanon before we moved to this city 5 1/2 years ago, that is why we want to move back to our old community, where we still know people (that may not happen until next year). We did attend and have acquaintances here, and no longer attend meetings due to his dementia - doesn't remember people, so no support there. We occasionally go to the Club and chat. I will try the Alz. group and see if any help there. My Mom and step-dad worry about both of us, and that is not good (mom has high blood pressure). They will be closer when we move back. Spouse's sister phoned yesterday and I explained more of what is going on, and I don't think she really gets it. She is also a distance away, our moving will bring us closer. I am so overwhelmed, had a good sleep last night, and am tired already. He forgot to take his Warfarin when I told him yesterday, and it was late, though seldom that happens. I sat and watched nature shows and crime show with him last night and put off what I had to do. Had a good supper at home. He copes by going and crawling into bed when the weather is bad. I dread fall and winter, though fall has been really good until now.

Welcome back Punker... of course we want you here... your posts are very helpful and kind...I missed you !! As to the differences in parents and spouses .. the only difference is the loss of the closeness of a partner in this life. Parents have a sadness all to it's self It is a slap in the face of the mortality of the child. I've had both and , I was not the primary caregiver of my "nanny" but lord the hurt and anger AI felt when the illness took her was just as profound as I feel for my spouse. I admire you for taking care of them when as a child you could walk away and you dont !! Yes it is true that spouses are a different care process but they have become our child and you have become their parent... we share the same crazy up's and downs and I hope we can help you with them as you can help us with our spouses. STAY WITH US OK Butter fly , a friend of mine in england told me she got a WE game and for bad weather and it has proved to be a godsend. She said that she bought bowling and walking archery and dance party because they are easy movements and her husband lives for their games every day . I M going to buy one after i saw my spouse play with my 5 yr old grand child .. Also i know that centers for alz are using the wee as well for the elderly so punker maybe you think about that as well . My spouse also takes every second of my time, I cant clean the house or do shopping or just do me stuff... I miss me alot but when the illnessw takes them it takes us as well.
My spouse had 5 heart attacks, surgery to close 21 holes in the middle of his heart and a stroke.. his depressio is so deep and I cant get thru it.. thats why I talk about the yoyo... so far no meds help we have gone thru them all.... I am now working on food groups and natural things that are said to help with depression.... so much to do so little time.

Welcome back Punker... of course we want you here... your posts are very helpful and kind...I missed you !! As to the differences in parents and spouses .. the only difference is the loss of the closeness of a partner in this life. Parents have a sadness all to it's self It is a slap in the face of the mortality of the child. I've had both and , I was not the primary caregiver of my "nanny" but lord the hurt and anger AI felt when the illness took her was just as profound as I feel for my spouse. I admire you for taking care of them when as a child you could walk away and you dont !! Yes it is true that spouses are a different care process but they have become our child and you have become their parent... we share the same crazy up's and downs and I hope we can help you with them as you can help us with our spouses. STAY WITH US OK Butter fly , a friend of mine in england told me she got a WE game and for bad weather and it has proved to be a godsend. She said that she bought bowling and walking archery and dance party because they are easy movements and her husband lives for their games every day . I M going to buy one after i saw my spouse play with my 5 yr old grand child .. Also i know that centers for alz are using the wee as well for the elderly so punker maybe you think about that as well . My spouse also takes every second of my time, I cant clean the house or do shopping or just do me stuff... I miss me alot but when the illnessw takes them it takes us as well.
My spouse had 5 heart attacks, surgery to close 21 holes in the middle of his heart and a stroke.. his depressio is so deep and I cant get thru it.. thats why I talk about the yoyo... so far no meds help we have gone thru them all.... I am now working on food groups and natural things that are said to help with depression.... so much to do so little time.

My dad really hated the winter. He spent all summer on the porch watching the kids in the park and the people walking their dogs but in the winter he got very depressed. We tried changing his light bulbs to those pink ones that are supposed to improve their mood but it didnt work mostly because he slept all the time. My sister swears by those lights. She has weather related depression (something to do with the limited sunlight and those lights really helped her. Maybe they will work with your husband. I know how hard it is to be alone without family at a time when you need them. I hope going back will help.

My dad really hated the winter. He spent all summer on the porch watching the kids in the park and the people walking their dogs but in the winter he got very depressed. We tried changing his light bulbs to those pink ones that are supposed to improve their mood but it didnt work mostly because he slept all the time. My sister swears by those lights. She has weather related depression (something to do with the limited sunlight and those lights really helped her. Maybe they will work with your husband. I know how hard it is to be alone without family at a time when you need them. I hope going back will help.