Mom doesn't realize she needs help
Mom has done very well living alone since my father died 18 years ago. She had a network of friends that did things together up until about six months ago when the last of them moved into assisted living. I live almost 500 miles away and there are no other siblings to rely on so she is on her own.
Over the past few months, we have noticed a rapid deline in her mental capabilities. Multiple accidents (fortunately none serious) forced me to take her car keys away from her a week ago. Since then I have been trying to orchestrate a series of people to visit daily and take her to the store and anywhere else she needs to go.
I have been running back and forth almost every week. What I have found when I arrived was a refrigerator that you can smell when you walk in the door, a pile of unpaid bills mixed in with bigger pile of junk mail asking for donations and a few NSF charges from the bank. There are clothes piled on the couches. Her 140 year old home has stairs that I have been concerned about for quite some time but now it is made worse by things that are stacked on some of the stairs. I clean it and it's all back within a week. Mom has never been a neat freak but she has always been meticulous about her bank accounts and bills.
The real worries started when I was getting calls (at all hours) asking what time or day it was. Same conversations multiple times a day, not always with the same outcome. What might be a normal, rational agreement one day changes to an irate phone call the next stating that we never talked about this and she would never agree to that.
We were very lucky to get a new apartment for her in a facility that will just be opening on 5/1. They have the staff available that is capable of handling some of the changes Mom is going through. Now Mom has decided she wants her money back and she is not moving. She keeps claiming that her memory is perfectly fine. Then goes into the speech that I just want to get her out of the way.
Can I force her to move into this facility? I have power of attorney. Idon't like the idea of forcing her into it but not seeing another way to make sure Mom is taken care of without losing my sanity.
It would be so much better for both of us. Instead of spending every weekend driving for hours to clean her house and make sure she has decent food in the house, I could actually spend time with her. I am convinced that being around people and having a schedule would improve her memory. I probably don't need to add what this is doing to my life mentally, physically, and financially.