Hi there. 

I don't have experience with this firsthand, but I wanted to share an article I found on Caring.com about Alzheimer's diagnosis.  If you'll click here, you'll be taken to it.  Hopefully you'll find it helpful.

Best of luck to you and your mom.  I'm so sorry her health has taken such a dramatic turn. 

Hi there. 

I don't have experience with this firsthand, but I wanted to share an article I found on Caring.com about Alzheimer's diagnosis.  If you'll click here, you'll be taken to it.  Hopefully you'll find it helpful.

Best of luck to you and your mom.  I'm so sorry her health has taken such a dramatic turn. 

The process of getting a diagnosis is exhausting, no doubt about it!..Getting an accurate one is important.  A second opinion can be helpful.  My mother was diagnosed 5 years ago.  We suspecxted she had moved to end-stage of the disease process and asked her primary care doctor to evaluate her.  He didn't feel she was end-stage but we were seeing symptoms that made me question his opinion.  I took her to a neurologist who did an extensive evaluation on her and confirmed she was in end-stage.  There are differences in Alzheimer's & Dementia but they aren't the only 2 that fall in this catagory.  There are some very good websites availabe that can help educate you...eg alz.org.  Use any resource available through agencies, church, extended family, friends etc especially since you are in without brothers & sisters to share in her care.  My heart goes out to you.

The process of getting a diagnosis is exhausting, no doubt about it!..Getting an accurate one is important.  A second opinion can be helpful.  My mother was diagnosed 5 years ago.  We suspecxted she had moved to end-stage of the disease process and asked her primary care doctor to evaluate her.  He didn't feel she was end-stage but we were seeing symptoms that made me question his opinion.  I took her to a neurologist who did an extensive evaluation on her and confirmed she was in end-stage.  There are differences in Alzheimer's & Dementia but they aren't the only 2 that fall in this catagory.  There are some very good websites availabe that can help educate you...eg alz.org.  Use any resource available through agencies, church, extended family, friends etc especially since you are in without brothers & sisters to share in her care.  My heart goes out to you.

This sounds like my husband's symptoms.  He has lost 40 pounds in one year.  MDs suspect cancer, but can't find it.  He was diagnosed w/dementia 4 years ago.  He's had a series of small strokes over the past 8 years.  He has been taking the same meds as someone w/Alzheimers would.  Some days he is better than others.  So far we can leave him alone for a few hours at a time while we go to work.  Thank heavens our 18 year old is still living at home.  We can stagger our work hours so as not to leave him very long.  As far as which type of dementia...  it doesn't matter to us.  There's nothing else we can do for him but be there for him, maintain a regular routine at home and be very, very patient.  He seems to respond very well to our cats and dog.  No spoken words needed for their relationship.

This sounds like my husband's symptoms.  He has lost 40 pounds in one year.  MDs suspect cancer, but can't find it.  He was diagnosed w/dementia 4 years ago.  He's had a series of small strokes over the past 8 years.  He has been taking the same meds as someone w/Alzheimers would.  Some days he is better than others.  So far we can leave him alone for a few hours at a time while we go to work.  Thank heavens our 18 year old is still living at home.  We can stagger our work hours so as not to leave him very long.  As far as which type of dementia...  it doesn't matter to us.  There's nothing else we can do for him but be there for him, maintain a regular routine at home and be very, very patient.  He seems to respond very well to our cats and dog.  No spoken words needed for their relationship.

HELLO THERE,

I HAVE BEEN USING THIS SITE FOR ALMOST 7 MONTHS.  AND I FIND IT TO BE EXTREMELY RESOURCEFUL.  I GET DAILY EMAILS AND I READ COUNTLESS BLOGS.  MOST OF WHICH ARE QUITE INSIGHTFUL AND FULL OF USEFUL INFO.  I HAVE THOUGHTS ON MANY OF THE BLOGS I READ BUT, I NEVER FELT COMPELLED TO REPLY TO ANYONE. HOWEVER, OUR SITUATIONS ARE SO VERY SIMILAR, I FELT YOUR PAIN & DISTRESS AND DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO SHARE.  I TOO AM AN ONLY CHILD CARING FOR MY 77 YEAR OLD MOM.  SHE ALREADY HAD QUITE A FEW AILMENTS THAT REQUIRED MEDICATION, AND A CANE. THEN SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEMENTIA A LITTLE OVER 2 YEARS AGO. SHE TOO LOST A DISTURBING AMOUNT OF WEIGHT IN A VERY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.  WE INITIALLY THOUGHT IT WAS DUE TO HER THYROID PROBLEM (HERS WAS 61% TOXIC & REQUIRED RADIOACTIVE IODINE TREATMENT).  MEDICAL APPTS. WERE 2, SOMETIMES 3 IN ONE WEEK. IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT AND FINANCIALLY DRAINING (SO MANY DAYS OFF OR 1/2 DAYS). HOWEVER, WE FINALLY DISCOVERED, THROUGH THE SAME BATTERY OF TESTS YOU MENTIONED, THAT IT WAS INDEED A COMBINATION OF THE TWO DISEASES THAT CAUSED THE DRAMATIC WEIGHT LOSS.  ONE OF THE IMPORTANT THINGS THAT BOTH HER PCP AND THE NEUROLIGIST EXPLAINED TO ME IS THAT DEMENTIA HAS MANY TYPES, AND ALZHEIMER'S IS ONLY 1. MOST FORMS OF DEMENTIA HAVE SEVERAL OF THE SAME SYMPTOMS (SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS, REPETITION, CONFUSION, MOOD SWINGS, GOOD DAYS & BAD).

IT IS, INDEED, HIGHLY TAXING ON THOSE OF US WHO ARE THE ONLY CAREGIVER, OUTSIDE OF MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS. THERE ARE SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY OR ASPRIN FOR THE HEADACHES. HOWEVER, YOU MIGHT WANT TO JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP IN YOUR AREA. MANY OF THEM ARE VERY GOOD AT TEACHING CAREGIVERS HOW TO MODIFY OUR BEHAVIOR TO BETTER FIT THE EVERCHANGING SITUATION. SINCE I AM ALSO RAISING AN 11 YEAR OLD SON, ALONE, IT SEEMS LIKE I'VE BEEN RUNNING ON FUMES FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS. I DIDN'T JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP UNTIL I DEVELOPED WHAT I CALLED 'THE SLAVE SYNDROME'. I FELT LIKE ALL I DID WAS COOK, CLEAN, MEDICATE AND CHAUFFEUR BOTH MY MOM AND MY SON AROUND. AFTER JOINING THE GROUP, I LEARNED QUITE A FEW WAYS TO BETTER MANAGE EVERYONE'S BUSY SCHEDULES, AND FIT MYSELF IN. AND SOME VERY GOOD METHODS TO TEACH MY SON ON HOW TO UNDERSTAND AND DEAL WITH GRANDMA'S CONFUSION AND HER MULTITUDE OF REPEATED QUESTIONS.  I FIND IT SO DISHEARTENING THAT THERE IS NO SURE FOR ANY FORM OF DEMENTIA.  AND I HAVE COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT I WILL SOON HAVE TO FIND A SKILLED NURSING FACILITY FOR MY MOM BECAUSE SHE WILL REQUIRE MEDICAL ATTENTION THAT I CANNOT PROVIDE AND HER HMO DOESN'T PROVIDE FOR A HOME HEALTH AIDE.

SO MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO TRY A SUPPORT GROUP, IT SOULD REALLY BE HELPFUL. AND KEEP USING THIS SITE AS WELL AS ALZ.ORG AND OTHERS THAT YOU WILL FIND LINKS TO ON BOTH. GOOGLE THE FOLLOWING SITES IN YOUR HOME TOWN: DEPARTMENT FOR THE AGING, ELDER CARE, SENIOR LIVING AND ALZHEIMER'S SUPPORT .

SORRY IF I WAS LONG WINDED. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT ALTHOUGH YOU'RE AN ONLY CHILD, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. THERE ARE COUNTLESS RESOURCES AVAILABLE FOR EVERYONE AFFECTED BY THE VARIOUS FORMS OF DEMENTIA.

I WILL KEEP BOTH YOU AND YOUR MOM IN MY PRAYERS. MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU BOTH.

SINCERELY,

VEJ398

P.S. - THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. RESPONDING TO YOUR POST WAS VERY THERAPUTIC FOR ME.

HELLO THERE,

I HAVE BEEN USING THIS SITE FOR ALMOST 7 MONTHS.  AND I FIND IT TO BE EXTREMELY RESOURCEFUL.  I GET DAILY EMAILS AND I READ COUNTLESS BLOGS.  MOST OF WHICH ARE QUITE INSIGHTFUL AND FULL OF USEFUL INFO.  I HAVE THOUGHTS ON MANY OF THE BLOGS I READ BUT, I NEVER FELT COMPELLED TO REPLY TO ANYONE. HOWEVER, OUR SITUATIONS ARE SO VERY SIMILAR, I FELT YOUR PAIN & DISTRESS AND DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO SHARE.  I TOO AM AN ONLY CHILD CARING FOR MY 77 YEAR OLD MOM.  SHE ALREADY HAD QUITE A FEW AILMENTS THAT REQUIRED MEDICATION, AND A CANE. THEN SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEMENTIA A LITTLE OVER 2 YEARS AGO. SHE TOO LOST A DISTURBING AMOUNT OF WEIGHT IN A VERY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.  WE INITIALLY THOUGHT IT WAS DUE TO HER THYROID PROBLEM (HERS WAS 61% TOXIC & REQUIRED RADIOACTIVE IODINE TREATMENT).  MEDICAL APPTS. WERE 2, SOMETIMES 3 IN ONE WEEK. IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT AND FINANCIALLY DRAINING (SO MANY DAYS OFF OR 1/2 DAYS). HOWEVER, WE FINALLY DISCOVERED, THROUGH THE SAME BATTERY OF TESTS YOU MENTIONED, THAT IT WAS INDEED A COMBINATION OF THE TWO DISEASES THAT CAUSED THE DRAMATIC WEIGHT LOSS.  ONE OF THE IMPORTANT THINGS THAT BOTH HER PCP AND THE NEUROLIGIST EXPLAINED TO ME IS THAT DEMENTIA HAS MANY TYPES, AND ALZHEIMER'S IS ONLY 1. MOST FORMS OF DEMENTIA HAVE SEVERAL OF THE SAME SYMPTOMS (SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS, REPETITION, CONFUSION, MOOD SWINGS, GOOD DAYS & BAD).

IT IS, INDEED, HIGHLY TAXING ON THOSE OF US WHO ARE THE ONLY CAREGIVER, OUTSIDE OF MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS. THERE ARE SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY OR ASPRIN FOR THE HEADACHES. HOWEVER, YOU MIGHT WANT TO JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP IN YOUR AREA. MANY OF THEM ARE VERY GOOD AT TEACHING CAREGIVERS HOW TO MODIFY OUR BEHAVIOR TO BETTER FIT THE EVERCHANGING SITUATION. SINCE I AM ALSO RAISING AN 11 YEAR OLD SON, ALONE, IT SEEMS LIKE I'VE BEEN RUNNING ON FUMES FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS. I DIDN'T JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP UNTIL I DEVELOPED WHAT I CALLED 'THE SLAVE SYNDROME'. I FELT LIKE ALL I DID WAS COOK, CLEAN, MEDICATE AND CHAUFFEUR BOTH MY MOM AND MY SON AROUND. AFTER JOINING THE GROUP, I LEARNED QUITE A FEW WAYS TO BETTER MANAGE EVERYONE'S BUSY SCHEDULES, AND FIT MYSELF IN. AND SOME VERY GOOD METHODS TO TEACH MY SON ON HOW TO UNDERSTAND AND DEAL WITH GRANDMA'S CONFUSION AND HER MULTITUDE OF REPEATED QUESTIONS.  I FIND IT SO DISHEARTENING THAT THERE IS NO SURE FOR ANY FORM OF DEMENTIA.  AND I HAVE COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT I WILL SOON HAVE TO FIND A SKILLED NURSING FACILITY FOR MY MOM BECAUSE SHE WILL REQUIRE MEDICAL ATTENTION THAT I CANNOT PROVIDE AND HER HMO DOESN'T PROVIDE FOR A HOME HEALTH AIDE.

SO MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO TRY A SUPPORT GROUP, IT SOULD REALLY BE HELPFUL. AND KEEP USING THIS SITE AS WELL AS ALZ.ORG AND OTHERS THAT YOU WILL FIND LINKS TO ON BOTH. GOOGLE THE FOLLOWING SITES IN YOUR HOME TOWN: DEPARTMENT FOR THE AGING, ELDER CARE, SENIOR LIVING AND ALZHEIMER'S SUPPORT .

SORRY IF I WAS LONG WINDED. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT ALTHOUGH YOU'RE AN ONLY CHILD, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. THERE ARE COUNTLESS RESOURCES AVAILABLE FOR EVERYONE AFFECTED BY THE VARIOUS FORMS OF DEMENTIA.

I WILL KEEP BOTH YOU AND YOUR MOM IN MY PRAYERS. MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU BOTH.

SINCERELY,

VEJ398

P.S. - THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. RESPONDING TO YOUR POST WAS VERY THERAPUTIC FOR ME.

I understand how you feel.  My mother has Parkinson's and the beginnings of dementia.  There are good days and bad.  She perks up when other family members come to visit, but with me, it feels like she just gives up and doesn't try.  She's already in a nursing home after living for almost a year in an assisted living facility.  She started falling a lot and the last time cut her head so she went to the hospital for stitches and my sister and I decided she needed more care that the current facility could provide.  It's difficult to make this decision and Mom was upset with me for a while, but it's the best for everyone.  My prayers are with anyone having to take care of parents whether with physical or mental disabilities.  Good luck to you.

I understand how you feel.  My mother has Parkinson's and the beginnings of dementia.  There are good days and bad.  She perks up when other family members come to visit, but with me, it feels like she just gives up and doesn't try.  She's already in a nursing home after living for almost a year in an assisted living facility.  She started falling a lot and the last time cut her head so she went to the hospital for stitches and my sister and I decided she needed more care that the current facility could provide.  It's difficult to make this decision and Mom was upset with me for a while, but it's the best for everyone.  My prayers are with anyone having to take care of parents whether with physical or mental disabilities.  Good luck to you.

By all means, get a second opinon. We thought my 80 yr.old husband's "Dementia" was the exact diagnosis. He'd been treated with the latest medications. This has been for the last year. His background is in chemical engineering....so smart. And so active. Taught our children and grandchildren tennis and swimming. All of this dementia stuff came to a halt when he was recently diagnosed in a hospital setting when we rushed him there, thinking he'd had a stroke. During hospitalization, when he had four days of  the IV drip to hydrate him, we learned it was severe dehydration and a Urinary Tract Infection. All this was "a long time coming." Since then, while he has had the usual aging individual's forgetfulness, he also wrote out completely coherent notes to all six grandchildren! He still has follow-up appointments, but, for now, we're no longer worried the way we were before. I send you hugs and my very best wishes for finding and dealing with whatever  another opinion may offer you!

By all means, get a second opinon. We thought my 80 yr.old husband's "Dementia" was the exact diagnosis. He'd been treated with the latest medications. This has been for the last year. His background is in chemical engineering....so smart. And so active. Taught our children and grandchildren tennis and swimming. All of this dementia stuff came to a halt when he was recently diagnosed in a hospital setting when we rushed him there, thinking he'd had a stroke. During hospitalization, when he had four days of  the IV drip to hydrate him, we learned it was severe dehydration and a Urinary Tract Infection. All this was "a long time coming." Since then, while he has had the usual aging individual's forgetfulness, he also wrote out completely coherent notes to all six grandchildren! He still has follow-up appointments, but, for now, we're no longer worried the way we were before. I send you hugs and my very best wishes for finding and dealing with whatever  another opinion may offer you!

My father was diagnosed with vascular dementia around 2000, and around 2004 (when I began accompanying him to medical appointments), they began prescribing drugs associated with ALZ. However, it took three years of dancing around the subject until I cornered the doctors, who grilled me about what facility or home care plans were. I basically had to call them on the carpet, and tell them to run a SPEC scan so we know what the pathology is, so we can plan accordingly, and not expect us to infer anything. The final report on the SPEC used terms such as "consistent with patients having Alzheimers", so while nothing is for sure until autopsy, we are going with that. 

Like your parent, my dad lost nearly 40 pounds in less than a year. He also had frequent loose bowel movements (like 4-5 x daily, usually within 4 hours after eating), complained of back pain, and because his father died of stomach cancer,  we also pressed to eliminate things like cancers, blockages, GI diseases, etc. All was clear, and we confirmed spinal stenosis and disc degeneration as the cause of his back issues. So we are assuming that the weight loss is yet another progression of the Alzheimers.

He is now living with me (I lost my job last September, and since April has been my 'roommate' until I find a job - which will hopefully be before he takes the next step down. Depending upon whose scale you look at, he's somewhere in Stage 6...and friends who have dealt with this all say that the passage into Stage 7 came suddenly, after years of level symptoms in stages 6. Right now, he is okay, but driving me nuts (I've lived alone in my house, by choice, for almost 18 years so this is a major life change and stressor for me.) As long as he isn't a danger to me, my cats or my house, in addition to himself, this is the way it is. Someway, we all find ways to cope.

My father was diagnosed with vascular dementia around 2000, and around 2004 (when I began accompanying him to medical appointments), they began prescribing drugs associated with ALZ. However, it took three years of dancing around the subject until I cornered the doctors, who grilled me about what facility or home care plans were. I basically had to call them on the carpet, and tell them to run a SPEC scan so we know what the pathology is, so we can plan accordingly, and not expect us to infer anything. The final report on the SPEC used terms such as "consistent with patients having Alzheimers", so while nothing is for sure until autopsy, we are going with that. 

Like your parent, my dad lost nearly 40 pounds in less than a year. He also had frequent loose bowel movements (like 4-5 x daily, usually within 4 hours after eating), complained of back pain, and because his father died of stomach cancer,  we also pressed to eliminate things like cancers, blockages, GI diseases, etc. All was clear, and we confirmed spinal stenosis and disc degeneration as the cause of his back issues. So we are assuming that the weight loss is yet another progression of the Alzheimers.

He is now living with me (I lost my job last September, and since April has been my 'roommate' until I find a job - which will hopefully be before he takes the next step down. Depending upon whose scale you look at, he's somewhere in Stage 6...and friends who have dealt with this all say that the passage into Stage 7 came suddenly, after years of level symptoms in stages 6. Right now, he is okay, but driving me nuts (I've lived alone in my house, by choice, for almost 18 years so this is a major life change and stressor for me.) As long as he isn't a danger to me, my cats or my house, in addition to himself, this is the way it is. Someway, we all find ways to cope.

I can relate to all who have posted here and send my best wishes. I am the only child of my father. My mother died many years ago and my dad never remarried. I am 2,500 miles away from him. He is in a lovely retirement home and can have home health care, though it is not an assisted living facility or nursing home. I was hoping that he could remain there, and the facility staff assure me that he is not the worst of the residents.

At the moment, he is angry about not passing his driver's test. (He turned 89 the day of his test a couple of weeks ago.) He can retake the test next week, and I'm hoping that he doesn't pass it. The problem will be to find reliable transportation that can take him to church and his many doctors' appointments.

I think a key factor in taking care of someone with dementia and the multitude of physical problems experienced late in life is finding a local support system for the elderly person AND a good support system for the family member. For my dad, it's through his church. Luckily, there is a new Pastoral Care priest whose defined duties are to deal with the elder members of the church. I have not met this man, but we have been exchanging emails and he is checking on my dad and helping to find transportation. That is a HUGE relief for me!

I have attended a support group at my health maintenance organization and also at the Alzheimer's Association, in addition to emailing my friends. It's amazing how many of my friends are facing the same situations, and we have banded together to be supportive of each other. Some of my oldest friends, dating back to my high school days, have rallied around me, and I have told them of this website and others that can offer information and support. If you mention your situation to acquaintances of a similar age, you'll almost immediately find others who are going through the same things and can be enormously helpful in identifying local resources and just being emotionally supportive. Again a HUGE help! I think, as Baby Boomers, we have grown up expecting to be in control, having knowledge, etc.  But it's sure nice to have friends who can hold our hands and hearts in theirs as we journey through this uncharted territory.

I can relate to all who have posted here and send my best wishes. I am the only child of my father. My mother died many years ago and my dad never remarried. I am 2,500 miles away from him. He is in a lovely retirement home and can have home health care, though it is not an assisted living facility or nursing home. I was hoping that he could remain there, and the facility staff assure me that he is not the worst of the residents.

At the moment, he is angry about not passing his driver's test. (He turned 89 the day of his test a couple of weeks ago.) He can retake the test next week, and I'm hoping that he doesn't pass it. The problem will be to find reliable transportation that can take him to church and his many doctors' appointments.

I think a key factor in taking care of someone with dementia and the multitude of physical problems experienced late in life is finding a local support system for the elderly person AND a good support system for the family member. For my dad, it's through his church. Luckily, there is a new Pastoral Care priest whose defined duties are to deal with the elder members of the church. I have not met this man, but we have been exchanging emails and he is checking on my dad and helping to find transportation. That is a HUGE relief for me!

I have attended a support group at my health maintenance organization and also at the Alzheimer's Association, in addition to emailing my friends. It's amazing how many of my friends are facing the same situations, and we have banded together to be supportive of each other. Some of my oldest friends, dating back to my high school days, have rallied around me, and I have told them of this website and others that can offer information and support. If you mention your situation to acquaintances of a similar age, you'll almost immediately find others who are going through the same things and can be enormously helpful in identifying local resources and just being emotionally supportive. Again a HUGE help! I think, as Baby Boomers, we have grown up expecting to be in control, having knowledge, etc.  But it's sure nice to have friends who can hold our hands and hearts in theirs as we journey through this uncharted territory.

Thank you for that post....I'm sure that the support network you have in place provides a great deal of mental and emotional relief. In fact, it's given me a few ideas on exploring how to formalze a support group in my town, perhaps tapping the Alzheimers.org.

By the way, you can get your father's doctors to inform your state's drivers license agency that he should no longer be driving. It takes the heat off of family members. My dad didn't pass his test, between his vision and memory issues, though he thought he did fine. Fortunately, he had to go into the hospital for a few days, and I grabbed his keys, and stalled and stalled using his need for glasses as an excuse, until he just gave up. Meanwhile, the state rescinded his privileges based on the doctor's notice. He STILL thinks he can drive - I hide my car keys in case he gets some crazy idea to try again.

Thank you for that post....I'm sure that the support network you have in place provides a great deal of mental and emotional relief. In fact, it's given me a few ideas on exploring how to formalze a support group in my town, perhaps tapping the Alzheimers.org.

By the way, you can get your father's doctors to inform your state's drivers license agency that he should no longer be driving. It takes the heat off of family members. My dad didn't pass his test, between his vision and memory issues, though he thought he did fine. Fortunately, he had to go into the hospital for a few days, and I grabbed his keys, and stalled and stalled using his need for glasses as an excuse, until he just gave up. Meanwhile, the state rescinded his privileges based on the doctor's notice. He STILL thinks he can drive - I hide my car keys in case he gets some crazy idea to try again.

CLC,

Yes, my dad's gerontologist is the one who referred him for driver re-testing. I guess that's how it works in Michigan--I am not sure that the doctor can tell DMV to yank the license. He didn't pass the written test, and, in typical fashion for him, blamed the wording of the test, not his lack of knowledge.  It is, however, a further indication for me that he doesn't process information accurately.

They also told him to get an eye test, which I believe he passed. The difficulty is that my father can be very convincing. Both his PCP and eye doctor said he had the physical abilities to drive. It's his judgement that is lacking; i.e., pulling out to make a turn when there are cars too close to him, but he thinks, "I had plenty of room." Sad thing is that he drove a lot for his job and never had any accidents. In addition, he was a safety engineer, and he thinks he still has all that knowledge. The doctor was good about saying that, as we age, we may have the knowledge about something, but it gets hard to use the knowledge correctly. (That went over my dad's head.)

Anyway, the state DMV told him he could retake the test this coming week, so we'll see.

Back to a Care Team for someone with Alzheimer's. I read online a suggested list:

• Primary care physician
• Physician specialist (gerontologist)
• Psychologist or neuropsychologist
• Geriatric care manager
• Home health aide
• Elderlaw attorney
• Clergy
• CAREGIVER emotional support system

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all pull all those people together? Where my dad lives, there are no geriatric care managers, so that ends up being ME! Hence, the need for emotional support!

Well, it's a journey, not one we planned, perhaps, but it certainly keeps life from being dull.

Good luck to everyone dealing with these issues.

CLC,

Yes, my dad's gerontologist is the one who referred him for driver re-testing. I guess that's how it works in Michigan--I am not sure that the doctor can tell DMV to yank the license. He didn't pass the written test, and, in typical fashion for him, blamed the wording of the test, not his lack of knowledge.  It is, however, a further indication for me that he doesn't process information accurately.

They also told him to get an eye test, which I believe he passed. The difficulty is that my father can be very convincing. Both his PCP and eye doctor said he had the physical abilities to drive. It's his judgement that is lacking; i.e., pulling out to make a turn when there are cars too close to him, but he thinks, "I had plenty of room." Sad thing is that he drove a lot for his job and never had any accidents. In addition, he was a safety engineer, and he thinks he still has all that knowledge. The doctor was good about saying that, as we age, we may have the knowledge about something, but it gets hard to use the knowledge correctly. (That went over my dad's head.)

Anyway, the state DMV told him he could retake the test this coming week, so we'll see.

Back to a Care Team for someone with Alzheimer's. I read online a suggested list:

• Primary care physician
• Physician specialist (gerontologist)
• Psychologist or neuropsychologist
• Geriatric care manager
• Home health aide
• Elderlaw attorney
• Clergy
• CAREGIVER emotional support system

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all pull all those people together? Where my dad lives, there are no geriatric care managers, so that ends up being ME! Hence, the need for emotional support!

Well, it's a journey, not one we planned, perhaps, but it certainly keeps life from being dull.

Good luck to everyone dealing with these issues.

I have to laugh because if I changed some of the words, it's sounds like my dad! He was a Navy Pilot, then the Chief of Staff for a US Congressman here in Illinois. So when his "pilot eyes" failed him, the just thought he could call up some of his friends to get him a license. (And given what's happened in this state with drivers licensing, that has about as much chance as snowfall in hell.)

Interesting about the medical forms for licensing- you should really check the website for Michigan's state drivers licensing forms. In Illinois, there is one called a Medical Report,  and is a two page form that must be completed by a doctor for things like heart, epilepsy, etc.. There is also a form for a Vision Specialist, where sight becomes a driving factor. You may want to use keywords like Medical Review or Vision Disability to search your Michigan site.

I have to laugh because if I changed some of the words, it's sounds like my dad! He was a Navy Pilot, then the Chief of Staff for a US Congressman here in Illinois. So when his "pilot eyes" failed him, the just thought he could call up some of his friends to get him a license. (And given what's happened in this state with drivers licensing, that has about as much chance as snowfall in hell.)

Interesting about the medical forms for licensing- you should really check the website for Michigan's state drivers licensing forms. In Illinois, there is one called a Medical Report,  and is a two page form that must be completed by a doctor for things like heart, epilepsy, etc.. There is also a form for a Vision Specialist, where sight becomes a driving factor. You may want to use keywords like Medical Review or Vision Disability to search your Michigan site.

CLC,

  Thanks for the info. Yes, my dad had both of  those forms and the doctors filled them out and said he checked out OK!    He took them to his PCP and ophthalmologist. I wish he had taken the general physical one to the gerontologist who referred him for testing! That's what I mean about supposedly being physically OK to drive, but they don't check for things like judgement!

Well, if he passes, I just have to accept that and pray that he doesn't get into an accident and hurt/kill himself or someone else. 

CLC,

  Thanks for the info. Yes, my dad had both of  those forms and the doctors filled them out and said he checked out OK!    He took them to his PCP and ophthalmologist. I wish he had taken the general physical one to the gerontologist who referred him for testing! That's what I mean about supposedly being physically OK to drive, but they don't check for things like judgement!

Well, if he passes, I just have to accept that and pray that he doesn't get into an accident and hurt/kill himself or someone else. 

I hear your concern..  My husband went to the Idaho DMV to renew his drivers license.  I was praying that they would give him some kind of testing, but they only asked him if he wanted a four-year licence, or an 8-year license.  He's 90 yrs-old!!!   Doctors won't force him to give it up.  I'm also praying he won't kill someone.

I hear your concern..  My husband went to the Idaho DMV to renew his drivers license.  I was praying that they would give him some kind of testing, but they only asked him if he wanted a four-year licence, or an 8-year license.  He's 90 yrs-old!!!   Doctors won't force him to give it up.  I'm also praying he won't kill someone.

oh, the thought of someone driving when you're pretty sure they shouldn't be sure is frightening!  I hope you can sort it all out.

oh, the thought of someone driving when you're pretty sure they shouldn't be sure is frightening!  I hope you can sort it all out.

There were neuropsych tests that the Gerentologist requested annually - things like judgment, memory and so on. Took about two hours and was administered by a resident at UIC Med Center.

Unfortunately, I have little faith in those quickie assessment tests, because while they may give an indication of memory, they don't convey the behavioral issues seen day to day. Unless you have a doctor who is willing to listen to anecdotal evidence, it's sometimes hard for medical practitioners to know how well or poorly a dementia patient is doing. At face, my dad was doing 'okay' on those quick little assessments done at his three month checkups, while his property taxes, bills and 5 years of IRS taxes were forgotten, along with the uncashed IRA distribution checks aging in his dresser for he and my mother. .Eighteen months and 80+ filing boxes of papers later, we had gone thru his papers and straightened things out. But boy could he draw the face of a clock!

There were neuropsych tests that the Gerentologist requested annually - things like judgment, memory and so on. Took about two hours and was administered by a resident at UIC Med Center.

Unfortunately, I have little faith in those quickie assessment tests, because while they may give an indication of memory, they don't convey the behavioral issues seen day to day. Unless you have a doctor who is willing to listen to anecdotal evidence, it's sometimes hard for medical practitioners to know how well or poorly a dementia patient is doing. At face, my dad was doing 'okay' on those quick little assessments done at his three month checkups, while his property taxes, bills and 5 years of IRS taxes were forgotten, along with the uncashed IRA distribution checks aging in his dresser for he and my mother. .Eighteen months and 80+ filing boxes of papers later, we had gone thru his papers and straightened things out. But boy could he draw the face of a clock!

I laughed so hard I had tears coming down my cheeks :-) because it is sooooo true about the clock and everyday things!!!! You just reinforced what we know, that we are still in the infancy stage of handling this disease process in any of its' forms and the smaller the town you live in the harder it will be to find a knowledgeable doctor.

I laughed so hard I had tears coming down my cheeks :-) because it is sooooo true about the clock and everyday things!!!! You just reinforced what we know, that we are still in the infancy stage of handling this disease process in any of its' forms and the smaller the town you live in the harder it will be to find a knowledgeable doctor.

All of the people who posted here are intelligent and their only concern is for the people they are caring for. To get a diagnosis, you'll have to go through many doctors I'm afraid. I would start with a geriatric doctor first, and make sure you "click" with them. Alz patients lose weight to begin with when the onset of their symptoms worsen; it's a hard time for them and there is no medical reason behind it. They're just scared. Period. Who would want to eat when this is happening???

Yes, they become our children. It's amazing how that works; my mother forgot my name and face, but never failed to recognize my voice. Recognize the connections you have with the person you're caring for, as this could mean the difference between a good day or a bad one, and someday it might mean the difference between life and death. Yes, I have been there.

Of course, the diagnosis is for us, and not them, as there is nothing you can do with it. And yes, still there is no sure way except post mortem. Check caregiving websites and childproof your home, as shuffling is also a huge part of the disease. Mumbling is key, as they will have bouts of trouble communicating. They isolate themselves, and do not like change in any manner. Taking them outside of their comfort zone is a challenge to not take lightly. Keep in mind that the connection from the brain to the body is broken or static, and so every day things confuse them. The best way to handle it is to think of them like a child, but give them as much control over their lives as possible. I think we all agree that their best interest is our only concern. The first thing you can do is help them live in dignity and and the last is to die with loved ones by their side. Sad but true.

Driver's Licenses: Boy, this is a tough one, as it's taking their independence away and it really hurts their pride. The only way to have it pulled is from a doctors note stating they are unable or unfit. If you cannot communicate with the doctor, find another one. Letting a loved one out on the road endangers everyone (duh). I did this with my father; it was really tough, but we didn't have to deal with an accident or someone dying because of it - thankfully. I did follow him one day and confirmed my worst nightmares; he once was the best driver I had ever known. On the other side, ensure they have access to cabs or buses (with supervision when the time comes), so that they still have some control. Your connection with your doctor is extremely important; many have a god complex, but a good one will work FOR YOU and not against. You have enough problems as it is right?

And yes, this website is great. No one judges and there are many who have walked in your shoes. We commend you and have lots of advice to get you through the dark days ahead. Someday it will come to an end, and it will be a shock for you, the caregiver, to have your life changed overnight. No one can prepare you for it, but when it's over and done, you'll remember those moments that made it all worthwhile. I call it the magic moments. They kept me going...

It might help to remember that when you fell you can't go on any longer, imagine us standing by your side giving our support and cheering you on. You are the unsung hero's, as a hero doesn't think of themselves first and they do it because it's the right thing to do.

All of the people who posted here are intelligent and their only concern is for the people they are caring for. To get a diagnosis, you'll have to go through many doctors I'm afraid. I would start with a geriatric doctor first, and make sure you "click" with them. Alz patients lose weight to begin with when the onset of their symptoms worsen; it's a hard time for them and there is no medical reason behind it. They're just scared. Period. Who would want to eat when this is happening???

Yes, they become our children. It's amazing how that works; my mother forgot my name and face, but never failed to recognize my voice. Recognize the connections you have with the person you're caring for, as this could mean the difference between a good day or a bad one, and someday it might mean the difference between life and death. Yes, I have been there.

Of course, the diagnosis is for us, and not them, as there is nothing you can do with it. And yes, still there is no sure way except post mortem. Check caregiving websites and childproof your home, as shuffling is also a huge part of the disease. Mumbling is key, as they will have bouts of trouble communicating. They isolate themselves, and do not like change in any manner. Taking them outside of their comfort zone is a challenge to not take lightly. Keep in mind that the connection from the brain to the body is broken or static, and so every day things confuse them. The best way to handle it is to think of them like a child, but give them as much control over their lives as possible. I think we all agree that their best interest is our only concern. The first thing you can do is help them live in dignity and and the last is to die with loved ones by their side. Sad but true.

Driver's Licenses: Boy, this is a tough one, as it's taking their independence away and it really hurts their pride. The only way to have it pulled is from a doctors note stating they are unable or unfit. If you cannot communicate with the doctor, find another one. Letting a loved one out on the road endangers everyone (duh). I did this with my father; it was really tough, but we didn't have to deal with an accident or someone dying because of it - thankfully. I did follow him one day and confirmed my worst nightmares; he once was the best driver I had ever known. On the other side, ensure they have access to cabs or buses (with supervision when the time comes), so that they still have some control. Your connection with your doctor is extremely important; many have a god complex, but a good one will work FOR YOU and not against. You have enough problems as it is right?

And yes, this website is great. No one judges and there are many who have walked in your shoes. We commend you and have lots of advice to get you through the dark days ahead. Someday it will come to an end, and it will be a shock for you, the caregiver, to have your life changed overnight. No one can prepare you for it, but when it's over and done, you'll remember those moments that made it all worthwhile. I call it the magic moments. They kept me going...

It might help to remember that when you fell you can't go on any longer, imagine us standing by your side giving our support and cheering you on. You are the unsung hero's, as a hero doesn't think of themselves first and they do it because it's the right thing to do.

Robin, Thanks for your words of wisdom, eloquently stated. My poor father. He got his eyes tested and they checked out OK. His GP told him his health was fine (yeah, right, with diabetes, prostate cancer, etc. etc. his health is "fine."). Today, Dad got a letter from DMV stating that due to a "medical condition," he may no longer be able to drive. Since I'm 2,500 miles away, I can't see the letter. It says that he has to go back next Monday to DMV, but he wasn't clear if that was for testing, or what. He doesn't understand what "medical condition" they may be talking about. This is a quandry I think many of us face. His gerontologist put it in the written report, which I have and which he sent to my dad's GP, that he has "dementia, probably Alzheimer's type." But the gerontologist did NOT tell my dad that. He never mentioned it during the visit we attended together. He didn't use any other words to describe the mental deterioration that is so obvious to all of us except my dad. So what are we to do? Whose responsibility is it to tell a patient that they have dementia? And how do I help my dad understand that it's his lack of judgement, not his eyesight, that should keep him off the road? It feels like every day provides more questions and fewer answers, and I know I'm just at the beginning of the process with my dad. I do appreciate this site, and others like it, and the Alzheimer's Association, and the AD support group at my HMO. But I'm struggling to learn the specifics that will help my dad.

Robin, Thanks for your words of wisdom, eloquently stated. My poor father. He got his eyes tested and they checked out OK. His GP told him his health was fine (yeah, right, with diabetes, prostate cancer, etc. etc. his health is "fine."). Today, Dad got a letter from DMV stating that due to a "medical condition," he may no longer be able to drive. Since I'm 2,500 miles away, I can't see the letter. It says that he has to go back next Monday to DMV, but he wasn't clear if that was for testing, or what. He doesn't understand what "medical condition" they may be talking about. This is a quandry I think many of us face. His gerontologist put it in the written report, which I have and which he sent to my dad's GP, that he has "dementia, probably Alzheimer's type." But the gerontologist did NOT tell my dad that. He never mentioned it during the visit we attended together. He didn't use any other words to describe the mental deterioration that is so obvious to all of us except my dad. So what are we to do? Whose responsibility is it to tell a patient that they have dementia? And how do I help my dad understand that it's his lack of judgement, not his eyesight, that should keep him off the road? It feels like every day provides more questions and fewer answers, and I know I'm just at the beginning of the process with my dad. I do appreciate this site, and others like it, and the Alzheimer's Association, and the AD support group at my HMO. But I'm struggling to learn the specifics that will help my dad.

Well, it's better to have someone close who can monitor and be hands on with his care. You can ask your dad to approve in writing that you can contact his doctor and keep updated on what's going on. And get copies of what is sent to him as well.

Being so far away lends to the disadvantage of seeing the daily struggle he's going through. And the family is usually the one to advise the patient of his failing health. It's a hard thing to do, but I feel we as children owe it to our parents to be there when they need help.

Can you advise who is close and will do the primary caregiving? Then we can address the questions as they come. Thanks.

Well, it's better to have someone close who can monitor and be hands on with his care. You can ask your dad to approve in writing that you can contact his doctor and keep updated on what's going on. And get copies of what is sent to him as well.

Being so far away lends to the disadvantage of seeing the daily struggle he's going through. And the family is usually the one to advise the patient of his failing health. It's a hard thing to do, but I feel we as children owe it to our parents to be there when they need help.

Can you advise who is close and will do the primary caregiving? Then we can address the questions as they come. Thanks.

I have all the appropriate Power of Attorney papers signed and pay all my dad's bills. We are on the phone at least two or three times a week. He lives in a lovely retirement home (not assisted living) that has a home health care agency onsite. I'm in frequent contact with the nurses and nurses aides as well as the people in the front office. I also have frequent contact with my dad's best friends and people at his church.

I get there are often as I can, several times a year. I am going to Japan for a month, but will go to see my dad the week after I get back.

It does seem like it's a doctor's job to provide a patient with a diagnosis. Since I'm not a fully trained medical person, I can't answer my father's questions that the doctor could. It seems like a cop-out for the doctor to tell everyone but the patient when there is a diagnosis! In addition, I feel the doctor did not do thorough enough testing and should have referred my dad to a neuropsychologist for more definitive testing. I have written to the doctor, sent my HIPAA Authorization and Power of Attorney paperwork, but he will not answer either my phone calls or letters.

I have all the appropriate Power of Attorney papers signed and pay all my dad's bills. We are on the phone at least two or three times a week. He lives in a lovely retirement home (not assisted living) that has a home health care agency onsite. I'm in frequent contact with the nurses and nurses aides as well as the people in the front office. I also have frequent contact with my dad's best friends and people at his church.

I get there are often as I can, several times a year. I am going to Japan for a month, but will go to see my dad the week after I get back.

It does seem like it's a doctor's job to provide a patient with a diagnosis. Since I'm not a fully trained medical person, I can't answer my father's questions that the doctor could. It seems like a cop-out for the doctor to tell everyone but the patient when there is a diagnosis! In addition, I feel the doctor did not do thorough enough testing and should have referred my dad to a neuropsychologist for more definitive testing. I have written to the doctor, sent my HIPAA Authorization and Power of Attorney paperwork, but he will not answer either my phone calls or letters.

I had distance issues as well - even 35 miles at 10pm can be a problem. There are some tools you might try, such as a fax machine or some of the new simple computers that are designed for the elderly. But those have diminishing returns as parents begin to have issues with instructions. I tried the fax (he thought it was an answering machine) and gave up. Just as I gave up with MedicAlert devices (he thought it was an answering machine.)

One thing you can look into are nanny cams. Depending upon how many rooms need to be monitored, you can use that for long distance viewing. I will probably install them in my house when I finally have to use home care regularly, it's protection for him and for me,my cats and house in the event of a less than noble home care person.

Since his gerontoligist didn't tell him about his Alzhiemers, it was left to me (multiple times) and along with his cardiologist of 20+ years, we got him to comprehend enough to express his end of life preferences to sign advance directives. But he still doesn't understand the long term pathology: one minute he thinks it's just short term memory problems from old age, another he asks when they will fix it. Which makes it imperative that you either get his Health Care POA and Advance Directives. You understand what awaits him; he does not. Try it in small doses. If you have a computer handy, take him to the ALZ.org site and walk him through the pictures in their tutorials. It may not work depending upon his temperament, but it's a suggestion.

I had distance issues as well - even 35 miles at 10pm can be a problem. There are some tools you might try, such as a fax machine or some of the new simple computers that are designed for the elderly. But those have diminishing returns as parents begin to have issues with instructions. I tried the fax (he thought it was an answering machine) and gave up. Just as I gave up with MedicAlert devices (he thought it was an answering machine.)

One thing you can look into are nanny cams. Depending upon how many rooms need to be monitored, you can use that for long distance viewing. I will probably install them in my house when I finally have to use home care regularly, it's protection for him and for me,my cats and house in the event of a less than noble home care person.

Since his gerontoligist didn't tell him about his Alzhiemers, it was left to me (multiple times) and along with his cardiologist of 20+ years, we got him to comprehend enough to express his end of life preferences to sign advance directives. But he still doesn't understand the long term pathology: one minute he thinks it's just short term memory problems from old age, another he asks when they will fix it. Which makes it imperative that you either get his Health Care POA and Advance Directives. You understand what awaits him; he does not. Try it in small doses. If you have a computer handy, take him to the ALZ.org site and walk him through the pictures in their tutorials. It may not work depending upon his temperament, but it's a suggestion.

Meiho, fire that doctor. I know it's a pain in the neck for you, but you need a team player and he/she is not. Geriatric specialists, good ones especially, are hard to find because it is not glamorous and doesn't pay as well as other medical specialties.

One of the reasons I have demanded that a medical practitioner be involved in explaining DNR,Advanced Directives, Healthcare POA, and explanation of diagnosis is that I do not want anyone ever pointing a finger at me claiming I unduly influenced my father in any of his life decisions. I may confer with his medical specialists beforehand, but I want them to explain to him what is going on. If I then need to paraphrase to his level in their presence I will, but I also want to protect myself from any witchhunt. Sad but true.

Meiho, fire that doctor. I know it's a pain in the neck for you, but you need a team player and he/she is not. Geriatric specialists, good ones especially, are hard to find because it is not glamorous and doesn't pay as well as other medical specialties.

One of the reasons I have demanded that a medical practitioner be involved in explaining DNR,Advanced Directives, Healthcare POA, and explanation of diagnosis is that I do not want anyone ever pointing a finger at me claiming I unduly influenced my father in any of his life decisions. I may confer with his medical specialists beforehand, but I want them to explain to him what is going on. If I then need to paraphrase to his level in their presence I will, but I also want to protect myself from any witchhunt. Sad but true.

As I've said in several of my posts, I have ALL the paperwork in place. My dad has been very cooperative in getting that done over the past several years. I showed everything to his attorney and he agreed that we have all those corners tucked in. My dad has even prepaid his funeral and literally helped build the niche in the columbarium in the basement of his church where his ashes will reside.

I've been worried about the finger pointing, but everyone I know says I've done everything I can do to this point and done it legally and in a morally responsible fashion. That's not an issue!

The primary concern right now is the driving issue. If he doesn't get his license back (which I hope he won't), I'm working on getting him transportation to church and doctors' appointments, etc. One of the ladies at his retirement home (who is relatively young and safe) has offered to drive him some places and the priest at his church is rounding up other church members. IF the state says he can continue to drive, well, there's not much I can do about that except appeal to his background as a safety engineer and encourage him to quit. It's an on-going process.

He lives in a relatively small town and there is only one gerontologist, so firing him isn't a great option until/unless I can find someone better.

I can tell that you are passionate about "getting it right" as I am, and I do appreciate your input and ideas.

As I've said in several of my posts, I have ALL the paperwork in place. My dad has been very cooperative in getting that done over the past several years. I showed everything to his attorney and he agreed that we have all those corners tucked in. My dad has even prepaid his funeral and literally helped build the niche in the columbarium in the basement of his church where his ashes will reside.

I've been worried about the finger pointing, but everyone I know says I've done everything I can do to this point and done it legally and in a morally responsible fashion. That's not an issue!

The primary concern right now is the driving issue. If he doesn't get his license back (which I hope he won't), I'm working on getting him transportation to church and doctors' appointments, etc. One of the ladies at his retirement home (who is relatively young and safe) has offered to drive him some places and the priest at his church is rounding up other church members. IF the state says he can continue to drive, well, there's not much I can do about that except appeal to his background as a safety engineer and encourage him to quit. It's an on-going process.

He lives in a relatively small town and there is only one gerontologist, so firing him isn't a great option until/unless I can find someone better.

I can tell that you are passionate about "getting it right" as I am, and I do appreciate your input and ideas.

Let me clarify myself; the doctor should diagnose the patient correctly and advise them directly with someone as a witness. Unfortunately, they grasp very little in the office, so the family member is usually the one explaining the diagnosis. I completely agree; fire that doctor and now. Many doctors, more often than not, look at the senior population as a lost cause (they'll die anyway, right), so why waste time? They give them pills and send them on their way. When you get involved with specialists, none of the doctors communicate. So the caretaker takes on the job as mediator as well.

Nanny cams are a necessary evil; they catch so much more than you would ever imagine and are a great tool. Any step you can take to protect the patient must be taken. To hell with anyone that stands in your way in keeping your loved one safe.

I suggest a living will that normally includes all documentation including a power or attorney, right to die with dignity (do not resuscitate) and conditions and directions if the patient can no longer be responsible or voice their concerns or needs. It is a document that almost always stands up in court. It is better than having individual documents all over the place. Have an attorney you TRUST draw up the document for you. It protects your rights as the caregiver, and gives you powers that cannot be contested in normal situations. I have a background in law and have been an executor of a trust (not a nice job) and it has helped immensely. There is no question as to the patients requests, even if they no longer have a voice.

I cannot stress enough the part your doctor will play in this scenario. Also keep a book charting the patients progress, daily routines, diet, etc. to fall back on and take that to the doctor on visits. Use a recorder during the appointment, so you can concentrate on the details and play back for confirmation.

In a small town, you might have to drive a distance or move your father closer to you to get better treatment. Believe me, you want your doc on your side. Many doctors give meds that taken together cause side affects that CAN mimic dementia or alzheimer's. I questioned my mother's meds on her first visit with a new doc. He about blew his top since some meds were duplicates.... It's like taking care of a child, but the issues are so much larger.

Legally cover your butt so you are above question and that gives you the right to review their medical records. Seniors are taken advantage of so many times, it can be stunning to watch. After my mother broke her hip (not in my care), and moved to a nursing home, I went in at 7am one day (surprise visit) and found her naked, lying in her own feces, pieces of diaper strewn around her bed; she was shaking and cold. I could have been arrested for what I did to the head nurse (and yes, I lost control). I moved her out of there the next day and put her into a private home with her own personal caregiver to bring her back to health. It disgusts me that this happens.

So be on alert, make the doctor toe the line; they work for us, not the other way around. Your voice counts - if it doesn't make sense to you, you have the right to question it until it does.

Let me clarify myself; the doctor should diagnose the patient correctly and advise them directly with someone as a witness. Unfortunately, they grasp very little in the office, so the family member is usually the one explaining the diagnosis. I completely agree; fire that doctor and now. Many doctors, more often than not, look at the senior population as a lost cause (they'll die anyway, right), so why waste time? They give them pills and send them on their way. When you get involved with specialists, none of the doctors communicate. So the caretaker takes on the job as mediator as well.

Nanny cams are a necessary evil; they catch so much more than you would ever imagine and are a great tool. Any step you can take to protect the patient must be taken. To hell with anyone that stands in your way in keeping your loved one safe.

I suggest a living will that normally includes all documentation including a power or attorney, right to die with dignity (do not resuscitate) and conditions and directions if the patient can no longer be responsible or voice their concerns or needs. It is a document that almost always stands up in court. It is better than having individual documents all over the place. Have an attorney you TRUST draw up the document for you. It protects your rights as the caregiver, and gives you powers that cannot be contested in normal situations. I have a background in law and have been an executor of a trust (not a nice job) and it has helped immensely. There is no question as to the patients requests, even if they no longer have a voice.

I cannot stress enough the part your doctor will play in this scenario. Also keep a book charting the patients progress, daily routines, diet, etc. to fall back on and take that to the doctor on visits. Use a recorder during the appointment, so you can concentrate on the details and play back for confirmation.

In a small town, you might have to drive a distance or move your father closer to you to get better treatment. Believe me, you want your doc on your side. Many doctors give meds that taken together cause side affects that CAN mimic dementia or alzheimer's. I questioned my mother's meds on her first visit with a new doc. He about blew his top since some meds were duplicates.... It's like taking care of a child, but the issues are so much larger.

Legally cover your butt so you are above question and that gives you the right to review their medical records. Seniors are taken advantage of so many times, it can be stunning to watch. After my mother broke her hip (not in my care), and moved to a nursing home, I went in at 7am one day (surprise visit) and found her naked, lying in her own feces, pieces of diaper strewn around her bed; she was shaking and cold. I could have been arrested for what I did to the head nurse (and yes, I lost control). I moved her out of there the next day and put her into a private home with her own personal caregiver to bring her back to health. It disgusts me that this happens.

So be on alert, make the doctor toe the line; they work for us, not the other way around. Your voice counts - if it doesn't make sense to you, you have the right to question it until it does.

Meiho I was curious, when it is a case of impaired judgment and not a "physical" limitation, if there may be an appeals procedure for Michigan where the doctor treating the Alzheimer's could present the information again on why they are recommending no drivers license for your father?

Meiho I was curious, when it is a case of impaired judgment and not a "physical" limitation, if there may be an appeals procedure for Michigan where the doctor treating the Alzheimer's could present the information again on why they are recommending no drivers license for your father?

Good point. I don't know the answer. My father's gerontologist, who diagnosed dementia after a cursory screening test, referred my dad to DMV on the basis of MY letter to him about my father's unsafe driving. DMV sent my dad some forms to be filled out, and my dad took them, not to the gerontologist, but to his primary care physician, who said he was "physically able" to drive. My dad is confused about why DMV is saying he has a "medical condition" that may prohibit him from driving, when his PCP and ophthalmologist proclaimed him "safe" to drive. The gerontologist is not "treating" the Alzehimer's, much to my dismay.

What we have here is (1) my dad, who is not sophisticated in these matters, but very "compliant" when someone tells him to do something or not do something, (2) the gerontologist, who gave a gross screening test and proclaimed my father to have "dementia, probably Alzheimer's type," (3) my father's Primary Care Physician, an endocrinologist who treats his diabetes and is foreign-born and may not be knowledgeable about American systems (I'm not being prejudiced, merely factual), and (4) an ophthalmologist who only looks at my father's eyeballs. No one is looking at his mind and his judgement. He has not yet been given an on-the-road test, only a written test, which he failed by 3 points. Of course, he blamed the wording of the questions for his failure, not his own confusion.

He is supposed to go to DMV next week, so we'll see what happens.

This is a classic case of the medical professionals all looking at their own little specialty and not talking to each other. I have tried to get in the middle of this, but they won't talk to me (despite my father having a valid HIPAA authorization for me to have access to his medical records and talk to the doctors). They can't charge anyone for a phone conversation with me, only for appointments with my dad!

I even took all my dad's medical records to a gerontologist at my HMO for her to review. She said I have done everything possible, but she (a friend and fellow book club member) was unwilling to call any of my father's doctors (again, because she couldn't get paid for the time spent making those calls). Grrrrrrr.

So, I doubt that I could get my dad's gerontologist to intervene when he is on shaky ground in his diagnosis and defers to my dad's PCP.

What's wrong with this picture?

Good point. I don't know the answer. My father's gerontologist, who diagnosed dementia after a cursory screening test, referred my dad to DMV on the basis of MY letter to him about my father's unsafe driving. DMV sent my dad some forms to be filled out, and my dad took them, not to the gerontologist, but to his primary care physician, who said he was "physically able" to drive. My dad is confused about why DMV is saying he has a "medical condition" that may prohibit him from driving, when his PCP and ophthalmologist proclaimed him "safe" to drive. The gerontologist is not "treating" the Alzehimer's, much to my dismay.

What we have here is (1) my dad, who is not sophisticated in these matters, but very "compliant" when someone tells him to do something or not do something, (2) the gerontologist, who gave a gross screening test and proclaimed my father to have "dementia, probably Alzheimer's type," (3) my father's Primary Care Physician, an endocrinologist who treats his diabetes and is foreign-born and may not be knowledgeable about American systems (I'm not being prejudiced, merely factual), and (4) an ophthalmologist who only looks at my father's eyeballs. No one is looking at his mind and his judgement. He has not yet been given an on-the-road test, only a written test, which he failed by 3 points. Of course, he blamed the wording of the questions for his failure, not his own confusion.

He is supposed to go to DMV next week, so we'll see what happens.

This is a classic case of the medical professionals all looking at their own little specialty and not talking to each other. I have tried to get in the middle of this, but they won't talk to me (despite my father having a valid HIPAA authorization for me to have access to his medical records and talk to the doctors). They can't charge anyone for a phone conversation with me, only for appointments with my dad!

I even took all my dad's medical records to a gerontologist at my HMO for her to review. She said I have done everything possible, but she (a friend and fellow book club member) was unwilling to call any of my father's doctors (again, because she couldn't get paid for the time spent making those calls). Grrrrrrr.

So, I doubt that I could get my dad's gerontologist to intervene when he is on shaky ground in his diagnosis and defers to my dad's PCP.

What's wrong with this picture?

An overdose and miss use of red tape? It angers me that these people are in control of his medical issues, yet when we ask, we get these answers.

I guess it all boils down to getting a doctor that will work WITH you. Hard but not impossible. I feel for you. I was lucky and my parent's doctors worked with me first and assisted whenever asked.

You have friends here.

An overdose and miss use of red tape? It angers me that these people are in control of his medical issues, yet when we ask, we get these answers.

I guess it all boils down to getting a doctor that will work WITH you. Hard but not impossible. I feel for you. I was lucky and my parent's doctors worked with me first and assisted whenever asked.

You have friends here.

I understand your confusion about your Mom. My father will not go to any Dr. for anything, his dementia is so terrible,especially his behaviors. My mom is at her wit end, we as a family do not know what to do?

I understand your confusion about your Mom. My father will not go to any Dr. for anything, his dementia is so terrible,especially his behaviors. My mom is at her wit end, we as a family do not know what to do?

i heard with dememtia they only have a couple months to live is this true

i heard with dememtia they only have a couple months to live is this true

I don't believe so. Dementia patients can live for years in this condition. Here's some more information on this: http://www.caring.com/questions/stages-of-dementia

I don't believe so. Dementia patients can live for years in this condition. Here's some more information on this: http://www.caring.com/questions/stages-of-dementia

No. Often, a person can survive for years with it. When it comes to how long a person can survive with ANY medical condition the only finally determinate is almight God. That's it that's all. Anything else is B.S.

No. Often, a person can survive for years with it. When it comes to how long a person can survive with ANY medical condition the only finally determinate is almight God. That's it that's all. Anything else is B.S.

I was looking for information on my Mother's Alzheimer’s diagnosis and found your post. Your first description of her not being able to walk, but shuffling makes me think immediatly of NPH - Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. I used to work for Medtronic Neurosurgery, a medical manufacturing company. We made shunts for Hydocephalus (water on the brain) and I learned about NPH - google it and see what you think. There is treatment for this.

I was looking for information on my Mother's Alzheimer’s diagnosis and found your post. Your first description of her not being able to walk, but shuffling makes me think immediatly of NPH - Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus. I used to work for Medtronic Neurosurgery, a medical manufacturing company. We made shunts for Hydocephalus (water on the brain) and I learned about NPH - google it and see what you think. There is treatment for this.

Have you considered a PET scan? http://www.petfoundations.com/eastmemphis/

Have you considered a PET scan? http://www.petfoundations.com/eastmemphis/

I have a feeling that I might be getting Alzheimers. I forget things; can't remember names; forget what I am doing; have to write everything down and yet forget where I put the note. I will be 70 in December and was diagnosed with diabeties 4 months ago - not on any meds for that yet. Otherwise I have good health and work part time to pay the bills. What should I do? I know I should talk to my doctor and I will. Do you think I might have Alzheimers or Dementia?

I have a feeling that I might be getting Alzheimers. I forget things; can't remember names; forget what I am doing; have to write everything down and yet forget where I put the note. I will be 70 in December and was diagnosed with diabeties 4 months ago - not on any meds for that yet. Otherwise I have good health and work part time to pay the bills. What should I do? I know I should talk to my doctor and I will. Do you think I might have Alzheimers or Dementia?

I just discovered this website so, even though my reply is late, I feel compelled to share my story which is so similar to yours. I am weeping as I write this and I apologize in advance that I cannot bring you any more comfort than your doctors are providing you information. When my Dad passed she was terrified to lived alone so she sold her beautiful home and moved into an assisted living facility (this was her choice, not mine, she refused to live in my home as it did not meet her impossibly high standards.)In addition to taking her to all of her doctor &hairdresser appts,grocery shopping etc,she called me several times a day and these calls became more and more bizarre:She couldn't understand her finances, she couldn't understand her mail.Then she started "panic calls" where she claimed the food preparers were poisoning her. When I took her grocery shopping she hoarded cleaning supplies and refused to buy food. I would sneak food in and return to find it unopened and uneaten. The doctor performed tests and found nothing wrong with her but she was positive she was being poisoned and refused to eat.Shortly thereafter,I received a call from the manager of her apartment complex that they had found her on the floor, incoherent and advised me to rush to the hospital to be with her. The hospital doctors diagnosed her as dehydrated and malnourished. They rehydrated her with an I.V. because she refused to put anything in her mouth. She became more angry & disoriented and eventually did not even know who I was, refusing me entry into her room on the basis that she had no children and no sisters and had no idea who I was. No other family members offered any financial, emotional or physical support to either of us and so, I sat and watched my mother essentially commit suicide.I was confused but the doctors had no answers. When the time came for the decision to insert a tube to force feed her, it was the most difficult decision to make in my life and I had to make it alone. After much soul searching and prayer, I ultimately decided to say no to force feeding her. I felt that at age 82, utterly miserable with her life, alienated from everyone but me,I would not force her to continue living as it seemed she was choosing to die. Much to the doctors' amazement, she continued to live for two months. When she passed I,alone, made her funeral arrangements. She left her money, life insurance,everything, to the the son of my brother who had not spoken to her in over 20 years.Needless to say I had to pay for her funeral. I was stunned when the cause of death was determined to be extreme dementia and starvation. In retrospect, I cannot believe I was so clueless,but she was so physically healthy and I was rather consumed with my own severe health issues. Not a day passes that I don't rerun the situation in my mind,thinking of all of the things I should have done. Again, I apologize for offering you no relief but perhaps you won't suffer through her illness with as much confusion and loneliness as I did. My prayers are with you.

I just discovered this website so, even though my reply is late, I feel compelled to share my story which is so similar to yours. I am weeping as I write this and I apologize in advance that I cannot bring you any more comfort than your doctors are providing you information. When my Dad passed she was terrified to lived alone so she sold her beautiful home and moved into an assisted living facility (this was her choice, not mine, she refused to live in my home as it did not meet her impossibly high standards.)In addition to taking her to all of her doctor &hairdresser appts,grocery shopping etc,she called me several times a day and these calls became more and more bizarre:She couldn't understand her finances, she couldn't understand her mail.Then she started "panic calls" where she claimed the food preparers were poisoning her. When I took her grocery shopping she hoarded cleaning supplies and refused to buy food. I would sneak food in and return to find it unopened and uneaten. The doctor performed tests and found nothing wrong with her but she was positive she was being poisoned and refused to eat.Shortly thereafter,I received a call from the manager of her apartment complex that they had found her on the floor, incoherent and advised me to rush to the hospital to be with her. The hospital doctors diagnosed her as dehydrated and malnourished. They rehydrated her with an I.V. because she refused to put anything in her mouth. She became more angry & disoriented and eventually did not even know who I was, refusing me entry into her room on the basis that she had no children and no sisters and had no idea who I was. No other family members offered any financial, emotional or physical support to either of us and so, I sat and watched my mother essentially commit suicide.I was confused but the doctors had no answers. When the time came for the decision to insert a tube to force feed her, it was the most difficult decision to make in my life and I had to make it alone. After much soul searching and prayer, I ultimately decided to say no to force feeding her. I felt that at age 82, utterly miserable with her life, alienated from everyone but me,I would not force her to continue living as it seemed she was choosing to die. Much to the doctors' amazement, she continued to live for two months. When she passed I,alone, made her funeral arrangements. She left her money, life insurance,everything, to the the son of my brother who had not spoken to her in over 20 years.Needless to say I had to pay for her funeral. I was stunned when the cause of death was determined to be extreme dementia and starvation. In retrospect, I cannot believe I was so clueless,but she was so physically healthy and I was rather consumed with my own severe health issues. Not a day passes that I don't rerun the situation in my mind,thinking of all of the things I should have done. Again, I apologize for offering you no relief but perhaps you won't suffer through her illness with as much confusion and loneliness as I did. My prayers are with you.

my heart goes out to all of you. As much as I have been opposed to medical professionals using computer links to record our medical iinformation i have also found it a blessing. I have found some really good doctors who are willing to use this system to cordinate my father in laws health care. any report can be read by all of his doctors and I can send emials about behaviors and cencerns that I have. I can look up lab results; schedule appoitments from home and not have to be on the phone going through voices that eventually end up hanging up or miscnnecting. That too is so much better at this clinic/hospital. I do feel blessed. Also I have gotten to the point as much as it is an inconvience and embarrasment for all parties; my father in law no longer has an exame of any type without my being present. even with all the paper work in order as many of you have stated you have; the medical profession; due to confidentiality laws; can not talk to any one other than the patient. My MIL even signed papers at the office for them to speak with us but on the phone they have to spend an extra 5 minutes looking it up; The neurologist who is now caring for my FIL's Alz; as a new patient this was the third visit; has stated what i have said for years; he may not have alz or dementia; just an old man with growing infermaties; since the death of my MIL; FIL has had significate memory imporvement. My MIL was a very verbally abusive women who used the medical system to get people to "take care of her" "to do for her" If it wasn't for this link up in the systema and my insisting on being in on every conversation I think he would have gone on with this diagniosis with out reinvestigation. b what I would like to know is what is a SPEC scan and a PET scan? I am getting ready to schedule a CAT scan since the Alz diagniosis was made with out one (only on MIL's word to a small town PCP. Again my heart goes out to all of you; this has been a long hard road for me; all the different doctors not sharing or talking and MIL can't remember long enough to repeat anything they say; but if it is repeated back to him he does remember even after being diagniosed over 8 years ago. we took the car away over 5 years ago due to poor jusdgement; we told him it was goin gin for repairs; he asked about it for a few years. he is still not advancing in memeory lose or dody function loss; how can that be? Any way; he lives with us now and is not just seeing a PCP who satisfies our MIL just to get her out of the office. Social services in there small town didn't help us protect him either.

my heart goes out to all of you. As much as I have been opposed to medical professionals using computer links to record our medical iinformation i have also found it a blessing. I have found some really good doctors who are willing to use this system to cordinate my father in laws health care. any report can be read by all of his doctors and I can send emials about behaviors and cencerns that I have. I can look up lab results; schedule appoitments from home and not have to be on the phone going through voices that eventually end up hanging up or miscnnecting. That too is so much better at this clinic/hospital. I do feel blessed. Also I have gotten to the point as much as it is an inconvience and embarrasment for all parties; my father in law no longer has an exame of any type without my being present. even with all the paper work in order as many of you have stated you have; the medical profession; due to confidentiality laws; can not talk to any one other than the patient. My MIL even signed papers at the office for them to speak with us but on the phone they have to spend an extra 5 minutes looking it up; The neurologist who is now caring for my FIL's Alz; as a new patient this was the third visit; has stated what i have said for years; he may not have alz or dementia; just an old man with growing infermaties; since the death of my MIL; FIL has had significate memory imporvement. My MIL was a very verbally abusive women who used the medical system to get people to "take care of her" "to do for her" If it wasn't for this link up in the systema and my insisting on being in on every conversation I think he would have gone on with this diagniosis with out reinvestigation. b what I would like to know is what is a SPEC scan and a PET scan? I am getting ready to schedule a CAT scan since the Alz diagniosis was made with out one (only on MIL's word to a small town PCP. Again my heart goes out to all of you; this has been a long hard road for me; all the different doctors not sharing or talking and MIL can't remember long enough to repeat anything they say; but if it is repeated back to him he does remember even after being diagniosed over 8 years ago. we took the car away over 5 years ago due to poor jusdgement; we told him it was goin gin for repairs; he asked about it for a few years. he is still not advancing in memeory lose or dody function loss; how can that be? Any way; he lives with us now and is not just seeing a PCP who satisfies our MIL just to get her out of the office. Social services in there small town didn't help us protect him either.

I have 4 different self exams with directions and answers. My email is Reeselv@yahoo.com I will email anyone that needs them just let me know!

Self-Administered Gerocognitive Examination (SAGE TEST) Administration and Scoring Instructions SAGE is a brief self-administered cognitive screening instrument to identify Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) and early dementia. Average time to complete the test is 15 minutes. The maximum score is 22. A score of 17 and above is considered normal. Administration: The test is self-administered. It should be filled out in ink without the assistance of others. Inform the examinee that there are four pages to complete. Calendars and clocks should not be available during the testing. Do not answer specific questions. Just say, “Do the best that you can”. Non-Scored Items: Demographics Insight: Have you had any problems with memory or thinking? Family History Motor symptoms Stroke symptoms Depression symptoms Personality changes Functional abilities

I have 4 different self exams with directions and answers. My email is Reeselv@yahoo.com I will email anyone that needs them just let me know!

Self-Administered Gerocognitive Examination (SAGE TEST) Administration and Scoring Instructions SAGE is a brief self-administered cognitive screening instrument to identify Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) and early dementia. Average time to complete the test is 15 minutes. The maximum score is 22. A score of 17 and above is considered normal. Administration: The test is self-administered. It should be filled out in ink without the assistance of others. Inform the examinee that there are four pages to complete. Calendars and clocks should not be available during the testing. Do not answer specific questions. Just say, “Do the best that you can”. Non-Scored Items: Demographics Insight: Have you had any problems with memory or thinking? Family History Motor symptoms Stroke symptoms Depression symptoms Personality changes Functional abilities

This is "ask for a second opinion" conversation is very interesting to me. My mother fell in July and broke her hip, she had surger the next day and was transferred to the local skilled nursing facility the same week. I was advised she was suffering from anesthesia induced dementia (which I had never heard of, although I knew there were dangers with the elderly and anesthesia).
About the second opinion, I asked the SNU to make an appointment with mom's personal doctor so she could verify the dementia diagnosis since I need to spend down her finances to make her elibible for Medicaid. The staff seemed to question my wanting to take her to personal doctor, and I told them the local Office of the Aging told me to take her to a doctor that was not affiliated with the SNU. After going round and round they agreed to make the appointment. The van driver called me and said when she called to make the appointment the doctor agreed to verify the diagnosis without seeing mom.
This seems strange to me, when I called to ask if she would give a second opinion I had to make an appointment, she wouldn't discuss it over the phone. When the van driver called to make an appointment she said it wasn't necessary, she would verify the diagnosis. Has anyone reading this had a similar experience? My brother and sister are satisfied with the diagnosis of dementia, and when I talked to the doctor to ask if she would give a second opinion she told me I was my mother's only advocate, and I had to start advocating for her.

This is "ask for a second opinion" conversation is very interesting to me. My mother fell in July and broke her hip, she had surger the next day and was transferred to the local skilled nursing facility the same week. I was advised she was suffering from anesthesia induced dementia (which I had never heard of, although I knew there were dangers with the elderly and anesthesia).
About the second opinion, I asked the SNU to make an appointment with mom's personal doctor so she could verify the dementia diagnosis since I need to spend down her finances to make her elibible for Medicaid. The staff seemed to question my wanting to take her to personal doctor, and I told them the local Office of the Aging told me to take her to a doctor that was not affiliated with the SNU. After going round and round they agreed to make the appointment. The van driver called me and said when she called to make the appointment the doctor agreed to verify the diagnosis without seeing mom.
This seems strange to me, when I called to ask if she would give a second opinion I had to make an appointment, she wouldn't discuss it over the phone. When the van driver called to make an appointment she said it wasn't necessary, she would verify the diagnosis. Has anyone reading this had a similar experience? My brother and sister are satisfied with the diagnosis of dementia, and when I talked to the doctor to ask if she would give a second opinion she told me I was my mother's only advocate, and I had to start advocating for her.

hello, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WILL BE OF ANY HELP,BUT YOUR NOT ALONE.I TOO FOUND MY DAD LIKE THAT HE LOST 21 PDS IN 7 MONTHS.I USALLY GO VISIT ONCE A YEAR BUT RECIEVED DISTURBING CALLS ABOUT 6 MONTHS AFTER MY LAST VISIT.I ARRIVED TO FIND THAT MY DAD HAD BLACKOUT AND RAN HIS CAR INTO A TREE WITH NO MEMORY OF THE CRASH I ARRIVED IN TIME TO NURSE HIM OVER HIS WRECK.LIKE YOU TOOK HIM TO MANY DR. APPT.TO GET THE AWEFULL NEWS THAT HE HAD SAVERE DEMENTIA.I TOO WAS ALONE I WONDERED HOW I WAS GOING TO MOVE HIM BACK TO ARKANSAS TO MY HOME AND FAMILY. HE WAS A SHELL OF THE MAN I HAD SEEN ON MY LAST VISIT I WAS SHOCKEDTO FIND HIM GIVING HIS MONEY AWAY TO A SO CALL FRIEND WHO I HAD TO GET A ODER OF PROTECTION ON TO KEEP HIM FROM TAKING MY DAD ON 5 HR RIDES NOT KNOWING WHERE HE WENT WHEN HE CAME HOME.I KNEW I HAD TO GET HIM OUT OF AZ BUT HE DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE.I HAD TO SEDATE FOR THE TRIP HOME DR.S WANTED HIM IN A HOME BUT HE IS STILL ABLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION HE KNEW WHO I WAS AND COULD NOT JUST DROP HIM OFF IN A HOME WITHIN 2 MONTHS HE WAS DEEMED INCOMPANT AND DRIVERS LIC. REVOKED BY DR.S.SO HE IS HOME WITH ME EVERYDAY IS A STRUGGLE TO GET THREW .....BUT HE IS STILL HERE AND ALIVE AND EVERY MINUTE I TRY TO ENJOY WHAT TIME I HAVE LEFT WITH HIM,P.S. HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BLOOD AND BONE CANCER I HAVE NOT THE HEART TO TELL HIM AND HE WOULD FORGET ANYWAY ALMOST NO SHORT TERM MEMORY....HE'S MY FATHER STILL AND WILL MAKE THE BEST OF EVERYDAY I CAN HOPE THIS WAS SOME COMFORT KNWING YOUR NOT ALONE AND DON'T BE SCARED I WAS NOW I'M NOT.....TINA

hello, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WILL BE OF ANY HELP,BUT YOUR NOT ALONE.I TOO FOUND MY DAD LIKE THAT HE LOST 21 PDS IN 7 MONTHS.I USALLY GO VISIT ONCE A YEAR BUT RECIEVED DISTURBING CALLS ABOUT 6 MONTHS AFTER MY LAST VISIT.I ARRIVED TO FIND THAT MY DAD HAD BLACKOUT AND RAN HIS CAR INTO A TREE WITH NO MEMORY OF THE CRASH I ARRIVED IN TIME TO NURSE HIM OVER HIS WRECK.LIKE YOU TOOK HIM TO MANY DR. APPT.TO GET THE AWEFULL NEWS THAT HE HAD SAVERE DEMENTIA.I TOO WAS ALONE I WONDERED HOW I WAS GOING TO MOVE HIM BACK TO ARKANSAS TO MY HOME AND FAMILY. HE WAS A SHELL OF THE MAN I HAD SEEN ON MY LAST VISIT I WAS SHOCKEDTO FIND HIM GIVING HIS MONEY AWAY TO A SO CALL FRIEND WHO I HAD TO GET A ODER OF PROTECTION ON TO KEEP HIM FROM TAKING MY DAD ON 5 HR RIDES NOT KNOWING WHERE HE WENT WHEN HE CAME HOME.I KNEW I HAD TO GET HIM OUT OF AZ BUT HE DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE.I HAD TO SEDATE FOR THE TRIP HOME DR.S WANTED HIM IN A HOME BUT HE IS STILL ABLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION HE KNEW WHO I WAS AND COULD NOT JUST DROP HIM OFF IN A HOME WITHIN 2 MONTHS HE WAS DEEMED INCOMPANT AND DRIVERS LIC. REVOKED BY DR.S.SO HE IS HOME WITH ME EVERYDAY IS A STRUGGLE TO GET THREW .....BUT HE IS STILL HERE AND ALIVE AND EVERY MINUTE I TRY TO ENJOY WHAT TIME I HAVE LEFT WITH HIM,P.S. HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BLOOD AND BONE CANCER I HAVE NOT THE HEART TO TELL HIM AND HE WOULD FORGET ANYWAY ALMOST NO SHORT TERM MEMORY....HE'S MY FATHER STILL AND WILL MAKE THE BEST OF EVERYDAY I CAN HOPE THIS WAS SOME COMFORT KNWING YOUR NOT ALONE AND DON'T BE SCARED I WAS NOW I'M NOT.....TINA

thank you so much ,,,god bless you everyday ,,don,t tell your dad about his cancer ????hes going threw alot allready,,,,my husband i will not tell him about dem and allt. he would do something too him self ,,,god bless you keep in touch

thank you so much ,,,god bless you everyday ,,don,t tell your dad about his cancer ????hes going threw alot allready,,,,my husband i will not tell him about dem and allt. he would do something too him self ,,,god bless you keep in touch

Dear Friends -- The Bible tells us "ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free" How true! I have been dealing with my wife's condition for over three years. I've taken her to phychiatrist, neurologist and psychologist. No answers to a diagnosis. She has had CT, MRI and EEG. Still no diagnosis! Her PC Doctor and mine are the same. I made an appointment with her last week and asked her what my wife's condition is. She is a great person and she looked at the computer screen and wrote me a note which read frontotemporal dementia. She said look that up. I did that and found out that is called Pick's desease and it has all of the Alzheimer's symtoms The difference being the order in which they occur. In Pick's desease a personality change takes place first followed by memory loss,cognition loss and so on. This I believe to be true. There are many kinds of dimentia so I believe you should try to get an accurate diagnosis. There is no medication for Pick's desease. Progression of the stages of dimentia only get worse in my opinion and believe me when I tell you I read all about this for hours evey day. It has become an OBSESSION with me. Chis

Dear Friends -- The Bible tells us "ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free" How true! I have been dealing with my wife's condition for over three years. I've taken her to phychiatrist, neurologist and psychologist. No answers to a diagnosis. She has had CT, MRI and EEG. Still no diagnosis! Her PC Doctor and mine are the same. I made an appointment with her last week and asked her what my wife's condition is. She is a great person and she looked at the computer screen and wrote me a note which read frontotemporal dementia. She said look that up. I did that and found out that is called Pick's desease and it has all of the Alzheimer's symtoms The difference being the order in which they occur. In Pick's desease a personality change takes place first followed by memory loss,cognition loss and so on. This I believe to be true. There are many kinds of dimentia so I believe you should try to get an accurate diagnosis. There is no medication for Pick's desease. Progression of the stages of dimentia only get worse in my opinion and believe me when I tell you I read all about this for hours evey day. It has become an OBSESSION with me. Chis

My dad 85years old but very alert and NO signs of dementia. But he cannot tolerate strong pain killers or anxiety pills. The make him extremely confused. Tried explaining this to his doctor. Every time the med would wear off, Dad was mentally stable again. He developed pneumonia that need to be treated in the hospital. My self-serving step mother had him transferred (using the dementia diagnosis as her perfect alibi) had him transferred from ICU in the hospital. To hospice where he was he was given no treatment for pneumonia. At hospice they kept him so heavily medicated that he could not even drink from a straw. You can't ask for food or water if you are kept sedated to the point you sleep continuously. This lead to starvation, dehydration and death. Please find out what medications your loved ones are on and read about the side effects. Many medal cause symptoms of dementia. I did not have power of attorney therefore I could not stop me beloved Dad from being murdered. Doctors make mistakes but my younger step mother didn't want to be bothered to take care of him as his health would eventually decline, things worked out perfectly for the money hungry murderer. Now she gets his pension and other benefits, all of the inheritance. How much money is enough for some people. How can people sleep at night after ding such horrific things. She knew the meds were causing Dad's dementia. I printed out all of the side effects of his meds given him inu hospital. But I did not know this was plan for him. This is the first time he had ever been sick in his 85 years of life. Please keep close watch on the MEDS given your loved ones although if you don't have POA you're fighting a losing battle.

My dad 85years old but very alert and NO signs of dementia. But he cannot tolerate strong pain killers or anxiety pills. The make him extremely confused. Tried explaining this to his doctor. Every time the med would wear off, Dad was mentally stable again. He developed pneumonia that need to be treated in the hospital. My self-serving step mother had him transferred (using the dementia diagnosis as her perfect alibi) had him transferred from ICU in the hospital. To hospice where he was he was given no treatment for pneumonia. At hospice they kept him so heavily medicated that he could not even drink from a straw. You can't ask for food or water if you are kept sedated to the point you sleep continuously. This lead to starvation, dehydration and death. Please find out what medications your loved ones are on and read about the side effects. Many medal cause symptoms of dementia. I did not have power of attorney therefore I could not stop me beloved Dad from being murdered. Doctors make mistakes but my younger step mother didn't want to be bothered to take care of him as his health would eventually decline, things worked out perfectly for the money hungry murderer. Now she gets his pension and other benefits, all of the inheritance. How much money is enough for some people. How can people sleep at night after ding such horrific things. She knew the meds were causing Dad's dementia. I printed out all of the side effects of his meds given him inu hospital. But I did not know this was plan for him. This is the first time he had ever been sick in his 85 years of life. Please keep close watch on the MEDS given your loved ones although if you don't have POA you're fighting a losing battle.

my dad also had many test his brain has srunk conciderabitly and all tho i did not live with him always called him and noticed his behaveral changed in december.forgetting that he just spoke to me for an hr the nite before.Saying his girlfriend who had alzimhers was cheating on him I KNEW THAT WAS'NT right she had to many problems for that,got me a plane and flew out there as soon as possible the nite before i was to leave he had a bad car wreck and hit a tree.If he would of hit a car head on he would of killed him self or someone else.I KNEW RIGHT AWAY SOMETHING WAS WRONG!!!! thought it was from the crash tho and now he is living with me he knows he wants to go back ,but the drs. there wanted to put him in a.l. always told him he would never go to one.SO we are learning as we go yes he has dementia,yes we took lots of tests,and one day at a time everyday my dad gets to wake up to a new day,but I don't I GET TO LIVE WITH THE BAD DAYS BUT THANK GOD FOR LETTING ME SPEND TIME WITH HIM,its not easy but we don't let him see that,try to laugh a bit and get threw another day.TINA &DAD

my dad also had many test his brain has srunk conciderabitly and all tho i did not live with him always called him and noticed his behaveral changed in december.forgetting that he just spoke to me for an hr the nite before.Saying his girlfriend who had alzimhers was cheating on him I KNEW THAT WAS'NT right she had to many problems for that,got me a plane and flew out there as soon as possible the nite before i was to leave he had a bad car wreck and hit a tree.If he would of hit a car head on he would of killed him self or someone else.I KNEW RIGHT AWAY SOMETHING WAS WRONG!!!! thought it was from the crash tho and now he is living with me he knows he wants to go back ,but the drs. there wanted to put him in a.l. always told him he would never go to one.SO we are learning as we go yes he has dementia,yes we took lots of tests,and one day at a time everyday my dad gets to wake up to a new day,but I don't I GET TO LIVE WITH THE BAD DAYS BUT THANK GOD FOR LETTING ME SPEND TIME WITH HIM,its not easy but we don't let him see that,try to laugh a bit and get threw another day.TINA &DAD

dgilette, I have been experiencing the same issues you have but before you decide or even think about Live-in-Care. My very close friend with hungry children had her medicated and she did not know what the hell she was signing, so Live-in-Care was brought in and if you think things are bad now, wait till one of those comfort keepers comes on shift with an empty bag and shift change it takes a dolly to get it out. I will have to say that it with her there has been no weight loss, still active, she has interests that she takes part in. She still bathes herself,feeds herself so it sounds like they might have you in the wrong box. I can't say educatedly because I am no M.D. but I observe her and the things surrounding her, I can tell what kind of mood she is in by her looks, so if you find needing that break, go Private Individual. Agencies tend to create a bigger problem than the 1 we are already having to understand.

dgilette, I have been experiencing the same issues you have but before you decide or even think about Live-in-Care. My very close friend with hungry children had her medicated and she did not know what the hell she was signing, so Live-in-Care was brought in and if you think things are bad now, wait till one of those comfort keepers comes on shift with an empty bag and shift change it takes a dolly to get it out. I will have to say that it with her there has been no weight loss, still active, she has interests that she takes part in. She still bathes herself,feeds herself so it sounds like they might have you in the wrong box. I can't say educatedly because I am no M.D. but I observe her and the things surrounding her, I can tell what kind of mood she is in by her looks, so if you find needing that break, go Private Individual. Agencies tend to create a bigger problem than the 1 we are already having to understand.

SOUNDS LIKE BEGINNING ALZHEIMERS. THAT IS ONLY MY THOUGHT..AFTER MY HUSBAND HAD A FALL IN THE KITCHEN, HE WAS SITTING AT THE TABLE AND JUST WENT OVER IN THE FLOOR AND HIT HIS HEAD & HAD 7 STITCHES AND WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 2 WEEKS THEN THE NURSING HOME FOR 1 MONTH. I STAYED WITH HIM AT NIGHT AS THEY DIDN'T WATCH HIM WELL, THE NEXT FEB. THE DR TOLD ME IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF ALZHEIMER'S. I ASKED HIM HE DIDN'T JUST TELL ME. BUT MAX HAD BEEN REPEATING THINGS FOR A LONG TIME AND DOING THINGS THAT WERE TYPICAL OF AN ALZHEIMERS PATIENT, ANY WAY HE WENT THRU SUINDOWNERS STAGE, BEING AGITATED LASTED FOR A LONG TIME BUT MEDICINE HELPS THAT SO IT IS A LONG LONELY ROAD WHEN YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THERE. I HAVE A SITTER THAT STAYS WITH HIM OF THE DAY WHILE I WORK THEN AOF THE EVENINNG & NIGHT I TAKE CARE OF HIM.

SOUNDS LIKE BEGINNING ALZHEIMERS. THAT IS ONLY MY THOUGHT..AFTER MY HUSBAND HAD A FALL IN THE KITCHEN, HE WAS SITTING AT THE TABLE AND JUST WENT OVER IN THE FLOOR AND HIT HIS HEAD & HAD 7 STITCHES AND WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 2 WEEKS THEN THE NURSING HOME FOR 1 MONTH. I STAYED WITH HIM AT NIGHT AS THEY DIDN'T WATCH HIM WELL, THE NEXT FEB. THE DR TOLD ME IT WAS THE BEGINNING OF ALZHEIMER'S. I ASKED HIM HE DIDN'T JUST TELL ME. BUT MAX HAD BEEN REPEATING THINGS FOR A LONG TIME AND DOING THINGS THAT WERE TYPICAL OF AN ALZHEIMERS PATIENT, ANY WAY HE WENT THRU SUINDOWNERS STAGE, BEING AGITATED LASTED FOR A LONG TIME BUT MEDICINE HELPS THAT SO IT IS A LONG LONELY ROAD WHEN YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THERE. I HAVE A SITTER THAT STAYS WITH HIM OF THE DAY WHILE I WORK THEN AOF THE EVENINNG & NIGHT I TAKE CARE OF HIM.

Good morning, and Happy Thanksgiving...I'm cooking dinner, but decided to leave and answer you. We're all here for you, and without this site and the friends I've made, only God knows what I'd do. I have not scrolled down and read all their parcels of advice...and I know they're all good...as I said, they're my lifesaver.

Get yourself a new dr., a primary internal med. man/woman who is not necessarily a gerontologist...just one whose patients are primarily over 70. That's what ours is, and I wouldn't take him for anything. He's thorough, and if he thinks we need a specialist of some kind, he hands you a name and number...someone he knows well. We've never had to use that. Then, basically start all over. It may sound easy for me, but I have no help, my husband is 84 and I'm 68...he uses a walker because of spinal stenosis, and he has moderate to severe dementia. Yes, he once fell out of a chair, talked out of his head, dr. put in hospital, ran tests, put on antibiotics, insisted he drink plenty of water everyday. In fact, I'm going to the drugstore when I finish typing this. Turned out, he had a Urinary Tract Infection. Hospitalized for a week, and I know no one cried when we left. He was a pistol! Just out of his head. BEING DYHYDRATED will do it to you, esp. if you're that age.

I'm sorry you and your loved one have been through all this...bottom line is you have to get one good doc who will work with you, one who has experience with older people. Keep it as simple as possible, as you're going to need your energy.

Be blessed, and may you find peace in this. Southern Woman

Good morning, and Happy Thanksgiving...I'm cooking dinner, but decided to leave and answer you. We're all here for you, and without this site and the friends I've made, only God knows what I'd do. I have not scrolled down and read all their parcels of advice...and I know they're all good...as I said, they're my lifesaver.

Get yourself a new dr., a primary internal med. man/woman who is not necessarily a gerontologist...just one whose patients are primarily over 70. That's what ours is, and I wouldn't take him for anything. He's thorough, and if he thinks we need a specialist of some kind, he hands you a name and number...someone he knows well. We've never had to use that. Then, basically start all over. It may sound easy for me, but I have no help, my husband is 84 and I'm 68...he uses a walker because of spinal stenosis, and he has moderate to severe dementia. Yes, he once fell out of a chair, talked out of his head, dr. put in hospital, ran tests, put on antibiotics, insisted he drink plenty of water everyday. In fact, I'm going to the drugstore when I finish typing this. Turned out, he had a Urinary Tract Infection. Hospitalized for a week, and I know no one cried when we left. He was a pistol! Just out of his head. BEING DYHYDRATED will do it to you, esp. if you're that age.

I'm sorry you and your loved one have been through all this...bottom line is you have to get one good doc who will work with you, one who has experience with older people. Keep it as simple as possible, as you're going to need your energy.

Be blessed, and may you find peace in this. Southern Woman