Thanks Laura, for asking this! It really helps me to find humor in daily situations. The harder it is, the more I know that I need it.

A few weeks ago I was trying to clean Mom's house and she was being difficult -- making it really hard for me to get things done. Finally, I resorted to what she used to do to me when I was a kid. I took her into one of the bedrooms and gave her the assignment of straightening up in there.

I went into the kitchen and was trying to clean out the things that were growing "fur" in the refrigerator. She kept calling for me every few minutes to help her with little things. I finally yelled from the kitchen, "No, I'm only cleaning up the stuff in the kitchen. You have to take care of everything in the bedroom."

A few minutes later I heard footsteps in the hall and turned just in time to see her scurrying back to the bedroom. She had dumped a huge load of stuff from the bedroom onto the kitchen floor. Yup, it was now in the room I had to clean up.

Outsmarted again by my Alzheimer's Mom... Will the indignity never end...

Thanks Laura, for asking this! It really helps me to find humor in daily situations. The harder it is, the more I know that I need it.

A few weeks ago I was trying to clean Mom's house and she was being difficult -- making it really hard for me to get things done. Finally, I resorted to what she used to do to me when I was a kid. I took her into one of the bedrooms and gave her the assignment of straightening up in there.

I went into the kitchen and was trying to clean out the things that were growing "fur" in the refrigerator. She kept calling for me every few minutes to help her with little things. I finally yelled from the kitchen, "No, I'm only cleaning up the stuff in the kitchen. You have to take care of everything in the bedroom."

A few minutes later I heard footsteps in the hall and turned just in time to see her scurrying back to the bedroom. She had dumped a huge load of stuff from the bedroom onto the kitchen floor. Yup, it was now in the room I had to clean up.

Outsmarted again by my Alzheimer's Mom... Will the indignity never end...

We never knew what mom would do. One day she was watching TV, she must have gotten wars, she took her top off, There she sat no clothes from the waist up. The preacher had just enter for a visit.

We never knew what mom would do. One day she was watching TV, she must have gotten wars, she took her top off, There she sat no clothes from the waist up. The preacher had just enter for a visit.

I read your humor posts for the first time today and wanted to share a recent experience about laughter and refocusing. My contribution that follows may not be humorous to some and it doesn't describe some cute event between me and my Alzheimers mom who has lived with us for about six months (which is nice too!). It is about caregivers sorting the problems together and the bittersweet ways that this can occur sometimes.

A few weeks ago my husband and I were driving home from work in terrible Washington, DC traffic and hurrying, as fast as possible, because our daytime caregiver for my mom was leaving soon, when we began a conversation about my mother's condition. First my husband said it was just so sad that Mother didn't remember anything or seem to have much fun because everything is so frightening to her. Then I said it was a fairly depressing life. Then he said it must be pretty desolate for her. Then I said yes, it was really dismal. Then he said there was a certain melancholy to it all. I replied that some days must just be a misery for her as they certainly are for us. He said it was a wretched outcome for such a bright woman. I agreed again and said her outlook was pretty joyless and gloomy. About this time we realized that we were each searching the thesaurus in our head for more adjectives and adverbs that applied. But we couldn't make ourselves stop; we just kept coming up with more and more and more(exasperating, overwhelming, confusing, acrimonious, bitter, hostile, rancorous, volatile, grim, harsh, malevolent, vicious, hateful, malignant, baleful, sinister, and on and on). After a LONG time -because we both have an excellent command of the English language - we just burst out laughing. It was "comic relief in the horror movie", but it did help to laugh. We were kind of horrified at all the words that came out, but overall it seemed more like we were trying to step into my mom's shoes and see how it was to look out from her lost eyes.

Thinking back on that event over the next few days, we felt like we had fallen into a trap; we could see what the disease is doing to her, but not what it is doing to us (like the principle from Alcoholics Anonymous' family support programs). My husband and I set up a two-week respite for my mom at a local assisted living center and took a vacation shortly after this event. I recommend laughing - about anything you can - and especially at yourself, and if you can take a vacation too, it's even better.

I read your humor posts for the first time today and wanted to share a recent experience about laughter and refocusing. My contribution that follows may not be humorous to some and it doesn't describe some cute event between me and my Alzheimers mom who has lived with us for about six months (which is nice too!). It is about caregivers sorting the problems together and the bittersweet ways that this can occur sometimes.

A few weeks ago my husband and I were driving home from work in terrible Washington, DC traffic and hurrying, as fast as possible, because our daytime caregiver for my mom was leaving soon, when we began a conversation about my mother's condition. First my husband said it was just so sad that Mother didn't remember anything or seem to have much fun because everything is so frightening to her. Then I said it was a fairly depressing life. Then he said it must be pretty desolate for her. Then I said yes, it was really dismal. Then he said there was a certain melancholy to it all. I replied that some days must just be a misery for her as they certainly are for us. He said it was a wretched outcome for such a bright woman. I agreed again and said her outlook was pretty joyless and gloomy. About this time we realized that we were each searching the thesaurus in our head for more adjectives and adverbs that applied. But we couldn't make ourselves stop; we just kept coming up with more and more and more(exasperating, overwhelming, confusing, acrimonious, bitter, hostile, rancorous, volatile, grim, harsh, malevolent, vicious, hateful, malignant, baleful, sinister, and on and on). After a LONG time -because we both have an excellent command of the English language - we just burst out laughing. It was "comic relief in the horror movie", but it did help to laugh. We were kind of horrified at all the words that came out, but overall it seemed more like we were trying to step into my mom's shoes and see how it was to look out from her lost eyes.

Thinking back on that event over the next few days, we felt like we had fallen into a trap; we could see what the disease is doing to her, but not what it is doing to us (like the principle from Alcoholics Anonymous' family support programs). My husband and I set up a two-week respite for my mom at a local assisted living center and took a vacation shortly after this event. I recommend laughing - about anything you can - and especially at yourself, and if you can take a vacation too, it's even better.

Wow! What great insights! What great blogs! And what funny moments. That preacher in paytonsnana's post will probably never be the same.

It really does help to poke fun at Alzheimers. It's like a big bully that we just want to poke a stick at, kick a few times, and yell really nasty words (or synonyms) at... Or is that just me???

Okay, here's another one. I was trying to get Mom out of the house. We sometimes go to the food court at the mall and just do people-watching. I kept trying to get her to brush her teeth and sent her back to the bathroom three times. (She kept getting distracted by shiny objects -- but in her defense, I do the same thing.) Finally she came back. She had brushed her teeth. She had also found the plastic tiara we had gotten as a joke a long time ago. She was proudly wearing it.

She was the hit of the mall.

Wow! What great insights! What great blogs! And what funny moments. That preacher in paytonsnana's post will probably never be the same.

It really does help to poke fun at Alzheimers. It's like a big bully that we just want to poke a stick at, kick a few times, and yell really nasty words (or synonyms) at... Or is that just me???

Okay, here's another one. I was trying to get Mom out of the house. We sometimes go to the food court at the mall and just do people-watching. I kept trying to get her to brush her teeth and sent her back to the bathroom three times. (She kept getting distracted by shiny objects -- but in her defense, I do the same thing.) Finally she came back. She had brushed her teeth. She had also found the plastic tiara we had gotten as a joke a long time ago. She was proudly wearing it.

She was the hit of the mall.

I was worried recently because after moving my Mom into the Alzheimers wing in the assisted living center where she has lived for almost 4 years, I began to notice things in the room that were not hers. I worried that she might be wandering into other people's rooms and taking things, thinking that they were hers. I asked the person in charge, a woman appropriately named "Joy", what to do about that. She patted my hand and gently told me that happens a lot around their place...but that fortunately, even though they might notice or get upset about it, no one remembers what they were upset about, or even THAT they were angry, five minutes later! I thought about what she said, then laughed. I guess Mom is in the right place!

I was worried recently because after moving my Mom into the Alzheimers wing in the assisted living center where she has lived for almost 4 years, I began to notice things in the room that were not hers. I worried that she might be wandering into other people's rooms and taking things, thinking that they were hers. I asked the person in charge, a woman appropriately named "Joy", what to do about that. She patted my hand and gently told me that happens a lot around their place...but that fortunately, even though they might notice or get upset about it, no one remembers what they were upset about, or even THAT they were angry, five minutes later! I thought about what she said, then laughed. I guess Mom is in the right place!

Priceless!

Priceless!

My mom is still in the early stages of ALZ. My dad was trying to lose weight last Halloween so my mom hid the candy she had bought from him. He got a little cranky and kept asking her where she put it. She was having a good day and said with a twinkle in her eye, "Oh well, I guess I forgot where I put it" and winked at me. Glad we still have laughable moments. Cherishing every one of them.

My mom is still in the early stages of ALZ. My dad was trying to lose weight last Halloween so my mom hid the candy she had bought from him. He got a little cranky and kept asking her where she put it. She was having a good day and said with a twinkle in her eye, "Oh well, I guess I forgot where I put it" and winked at me. Glad we still have laughable moments. Cherishing every one of them.

Once I had to explain to my mom what had happened to their old dog. I said we'd had him euthanized and asked her if she knew what that meant. She said, "Youthnanized? You mean you had him made younger?" Another time, she asked me how old she was and when I said 90, she said, "I should have had children while I had the chance."

Once I had to explain to my mom what had happened to their old dog. I said we'd had him euthanized and asked her if she knew what that meant. She said, "Youthnanized? You mean you had him made younger?" Another time, she asked me how old she was and when I said 90, she said, "I should have had children while I had the chance."

"I should have had children while I had the chance"! I love this! I know my Mom knows me, though she doesn't remember my name, or know why she knows me...but she's always happy to see me and tells me she loves me. But then, she says that to most everyone these days. My sons don't want to go with me to see her very often, after she flirted with the 3rd one who is 18, winking at him, and telling me very loudly how cute he is, and asking if he "had any brothers". He rolled his eyes and whispered, "I'm not kissing her this time, Mom!" I didn't blame him at all!

"I should have had children while I had the chance"! I love this! I know my Mom knows me, though she doesn't remember my name, or know why she knows me...but she's always happy to see me and tells me she loves me. But then, she says that to most everyone these days. My sons don't want to go with me to see her very often, after she flirted with the 3rd one who is 18, winking at him, and telling me very loudly how cute he is, and asking if he "had any brothers". He rolled his eyes and whispered, "I'm not kissing her this time, Mom!" I didn't blame him at all!

Bwahahahaha!! This is good stuff! Do you folks mind if some of this makes it into a stageplay a friend and I are working on? We are doing a two-woman show about the ups and downs of caregiving with our parents and I'd love to work some of these conversations in. Thoughts?

By the way, when I was helping my father-in-law in the hospital in his last days, I remember a really good line of his. Every time a new nurse would come in to take blood, he'd ask, "Does it matter which arm?" They, of course, would tell him no. He'd answer, "Good. Then take it out of yours."

Bwahahahaha!! This is good stuff! Do you folks mind if some of this makes it into a stageplay a friend and I are working on? We are doing a two-woman show about the ups and downs of caregiving with our parents and I'd love to work some of these conversations in. Thoughts?

By the way, when I was helping my father-in-law in the hospital in his last days, I remember a really good line of his. Every time a new nurse would come in to take blood, he'd ask, "Does it matter which arm?" They, of course, would tell him no. He'd answer, "Good. Then take it out of yours."

rubberchicken, I'm working on a two-character stage play with a collaborator too! Maybe we should talk! I hope we're not in the same city!

rubberchicken, I'm working on a two-character stage play with a collaborator too! Maybe we should talk! I hope we're not in the same city!

Ooooohhhh --- I see a double feature!! We could tour together!

I'm in Louisiana. My collaborator is in New York.

Before my Mom degenerated, she and I were working on a book about aging. Every third chapter we started repeating the prologue. We coined the phrase, "Don't stop me if I've told you this story before"...

The more sharing the message, the better...

Ooooohhhh --- I see a double feature!! We could tour together!

I'm in Louisiana. My collaborator is in New York.

Before my Mom degenerated, she and I were working on a book about aging. Every third chapter we started repeating the prologue. We coined the phrase, "Don't stop me if I've told you this story before"...

The more sharing the message, the better...

My dear friend (who has Alzheimers) poked her head in my door and asked,"Do you have a horse in your house?" I replied, "No, I have a pony!" I have a Bernese Mountain Dog - and he's big! I call her my "guru" because she makes so many in the moment comments - She is like Gertrude Stein" A rose is a rose is a rose!"

My dear friend (who has Alzheimers) poked her head in my door and asked,"Do you have a horse in your house?" I replied, "No, I have a pony!" I have a Bernese Mountain Dog - and he's big! I call her my "guru" because she makes so many in the moment comments - She is like Gertrude Stein" A rose is a rose is a rose!"

Rubberchicken, My collaborator and I are in San Francisco. We should keep each other posted on our progress, what do you think?

Rubberchicken, My collaborator and I are in San Francisco. We should keep each other posted on our progress, what do you think?

I know what you mean. My dad unfortunately had to be put in a nursing home but my mom goes there 2 times a day. I go when I am able to also but one of the funney things dad would do was one day my mom was so tired and frustrated with him and she kinda gave up and went to sit down on the sofa. When all of a sudden he pops in the living room and tells us "Do you know why this pants are so short?" Well , he put on my mom's capri pants. So when we told him that they were mom's he said "you"ll are crazy, this are mine and I am not taking them off" My mom started laughing so much that she forgot how upset she had been with him earlier.

I know what you mean. My dad unfortunately had to be put in a nursing home but my mom goes there 2 times a day. I go when I am able to also but one of the funney things dad would do was one day my mom was so tired and frustrated with him and she kinda gave up and went to sit down on the sofa. When all of a sudden he pops in the living room and tells us "Do you know why this pants are so short?" Well , he put on my mom's capri pants. So when we told him that they were mom's he said "you"ll are crazy, this are mine and I am not taking them off" My mom started laughing so much that she forgot how upset she had been with him earlier.

Hi Rubberchicken, when my dad was under hospice care, he was bedridden and incontinent. He HATED that, since he had always been an active man, working 50 years as a carpenter, and had wooed women with his dancing skills. He told me that in his dreams, he could still dance. I asked him shortly before he died, if there was anything he was happy about, anything in life he was still enjoying. He pursed his lips, looked serious, then said (in his thick Scottish brogue), "Well, when the wee girlies are in changing me, I'm getting a good view of more titties than I've ever seen!" Needless to say, I didn't share that observation with my mom!

Hi Rubberchicken, when my dad was under hospice care, he was bedridden and incontinent. He HATED that, since he had always been an active man, working 50 years as a carpenter, and had wooed women with his dancing skills. He told me that in his dreams, he could still dance. I asked him shortly before he died, if there was anything he was happy about, anything in life he was still enjoying. He pursed his lips, looked serious, then said (in his thick Scottish brogue), "Well, when the wee girlies are in changing me, I'm getting a good view of more titties than I've ever seen!" Needless to say, I didn't share that observation with my mom!

I'm loving these stories! And San Francisco -- yes, please stay in touch!

I'm loving these stories! And San Francisco -- yes, please stay in touch!

My mother didn't say anything she could tho come out with some doosies tho. A therpist was working with mom an mom didnt like how she was dancing around in front of her an things she was saying an doing so she told the other therpist could she have a big glass of water . Well he got it for her. He gave it to her an about that time she throwed it right in the girls face who was dancing in front of her. I mean mom soaked her. The girl liked to died.

I asked mom later while she did that well she said the girl was getting on my nerves an mom said i thought i would cool her butt down. Mom did say she was sorry to the girl. An they were not mad at mom. I thought it was funny tho. Everyone couldnt believe mom did that. I guess they got tickled to. I said better water than something else. Ha Ha.

My mother didn't say anything she could tho come out with some doosies tho. A therpist was working with mom an mom didnt like how she was dancing around in front of her an things she was saying an doing so she told the other therpist could she have a big glass of water . Well he got it for her. He gave it to her an about that time she throwed it right in the girls face who was dancing in front of her. I mean mom soaked her. The girl liked to died.

I asked mom later while she did that well she said the girl was getting on my nerves an mom said i thought i would cool her butt down. Mom did say she was sorry to the girl. An they were not mad at mom. I thought it was funny tho. Everyone couldnt believe mom did that. I guess they got tickled to. I said better water than something else. Ha Ha.

Yesterday I was in the supermarket with my mom. After walking around the store, she was getting really tired. Our store keeps a chair by the front door for tired shoppers. I asked Mom if she'd like to sit in the chair while I checked out. She did so, and I went to check out, but when I came back, I was alarmed to find the chair empty! I went looking for her and found her at another checkout. She looked so happy as she assisted the bag boy in bagging the groceries. I wish I had had my camera there--what a cute picture that would have been.

Yesterday I was in the supermarket with my mom. After walking around the store, she was getting really tired. Our store keeps a chair by the front door for tired shoppers. I asked Mom if she'd like to sit in the chair while I checked out. She did so, and I went to check out, but when I came back, I was alarmed to find the chair empty! I went looking for her and found her at another checkout. She looked so happy as she assisted the bag boy in bagging the groceries. I wish I had had my camera there--what a cute picture that would have been.

I recently bought my mother a bathing suit to wear to the local pool. She's 81, with AD, and still able to manage most of her personal care. BUT, the other day as she was putting on the modest, but (my bad!) unfortunately two piece "tankini" she walked half naked while dressing into the hall and hollered for me. I walked in to find her with two legs in the armholes of the top piece, and one arm in the leg of the bottom. I did laugh out loud, but she was rather indignant, asking "why the hell don't they make these things so you can put them on without killing yourself?"

Yes, I picked up a one piece the next day, but not until after I was sorely tempted to keep the other, just for the daily "show and laugh."

My mother also has nine children, thirteen grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. Whenever she forgets a name or relationship we always kid her by telling her she only has to remember my father's name, mine and my husband's, as we are the people with whom she lives. Her response is always "and what IS your name?" as she cracks herself up. I reply with something like "Esmerelda", and she (knowing that at least that much is NOT true) goes for the joke and calls me "Esmerelda" for hours.

I recently bought my mother a bathing suit to wear to the local pool. She's 81, with AD, and still able to manage most of her personal care. BUT, the other day as she was putting on the modest, but (my bad!) unfortunately two piece "tankini" she walked half naked while dressing into the hall and hollered for me. I walked in to find her with two legs in the armholes of the top piece, and one arm in the leg of the bottom. I did laugh out loud, but she was rather indignant, asking "why the hell don't they make these things so you can put them on without killing yourself?"

Yes, I picked up a one piece the next day, but not until after I was sorely tempted to keep the other, just for the daily "show and laugh."

My mother also has nine children, thirteen grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. Whenever she forgets a name or relationship we always kid her by telling her she only has to remember my father's name, mine and my husband's, as we are the people with whom she lives. Her response is always "and what IS your name?" as she cracks herself up. I reply with something like "Esmerelda", and she (knowing that at least that much is NOT true) goes for the joke and calls me "Esmerelda" for hours.

These stories have made me laugh harder than I have in a loooonnnggg time! Isn't it great when you can find some laughter in the midst of all this madness? That's a gift...

These stories have made me laugh harder than I have in a loooonnnggg time! Isn't it great when you can find some laughter in the midst of all this madness? That's a gift...

Hilarious. Wonderful. Yes! Thanks. My sisters and cousin and I have excellent moments like that as well. We care for our 88 year old Aunt, who doesn't have dementia or anything but indeed is challenging and has been for many years. She's not sad, though, just very, very, very, very slow, and of course, helpless.

Hilarious. Wonderful. Yes! Thanks. My sisters and cousin and I have excellent moments like that as well. We care for our 88 year old Aunt, who doesn't have dementia or anything but indeed is challenging and has been for many years. She's not sad, though, just very, very, very, very slow, and of course, helpless.

I have a story that showed me that at times Dementia can be a blessing.

Due to a crisis with my mom and stepdad, I brought my mom to my state to live in Assited Living while my stepdad was hospitalized (thinking he may join her later). My stepdad ended up passing away and I was very worried about having to break the news to Mom. My husband and I drove over to the AL facility and I was in tears the whole way. When we walked in the door here comes my mom with a man on each arm, sauntering down the hall after dinner. We walked one of the men to his room and he flirted with mom the entire time! She was acting as coy as a teenager at her first dance. We proceed to her room where I ask her to sit down because I have bad news. I'm feeling sick to my stomach, thinking she's just going to fall to pieces right in front of me. Right away SHE says "My husband died" and I nodded sadly and told her that he had indeed passed away. Next, there's a knock on the door and a younger looking gentleman with an Italian accent comes in and asks Mom if she wants to play "Upwards" with him. I look up at him through my tears like he's crazy because my mom has never played a game in her entire life! He tells me that she "kicked butt" at it the night before! I was incredulous, and even more so, when Mom asked if we minded if she went and played. Hubby and I asked if she was OK and she said she was fine. Just as she starts walking down the hall to the game room, she turns back, and gets really close to me. I assumed that she was going to give me a hug, but NOOOOOOO she instead whispered, "Do I have anything in my teeth?"!!! I assured she did not and off she went! Hubby and I walked back to the car in silence, but once we got in we started laughing so hard that we cried. I aske him "What just happened here?" but he was unable to answer due to hysterics. I left there feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from shoulders. It was a terrible day and a wonderful day all in one. It was the first time that I saw a blessing in my Mom's dementia and now I look for them every day.

I have a story that showed me that at times Dementia can be a blessing.

Due to a crisis with my mom and stepdad, I brought my mom to my state to live in Assited Living while my stepdad was hospitalized (thinking he may join her later). My stepdad ended up passing away and I was very worried about having to break the news to Mom. My husband and I drove over to the AL facility and I was in tears the whole way. When we walked in the door here comes my mom with a man on each arm, sauntering down the hall after dinner. We walked one of the men to his room and he flirted with mom the entire time! She was acting as coy as a teenager at her first dance. We proceed to her room where I ask her to sit down because I have bad news. I'm feeling sick to my stomach, thinking she's just going to fall to pieces right in front of me. Right away SHE says "My husband died" and I nodded sadly and told her that he had indeed passed away. Next, there's a knock on the door and a younger looking gentleman with an Italian accent comes in and asks Mom if she wants to play "Upwards" with him. I look up at him through my tears like he's crazy because my mom has never played a game in her entire life! He tells me that she "kicked butt" at it the night before! I was incredulous, and even more so, when Mom asked if we minded if she went and played. Hubby and I asked if she was OK and she said she was fine. Just as she starts walking down the hall to the game room, she turns back, and gets really close to me. I assumed that she was going to give me a hug, but NOOOOOOO she instead whispered, "Do I have anything in my teeth?"!!! I assured she did not and off she went! Hubby and I walked back to the car in silence, but once we got in we started laughing so hard that we cried. I aske him "What just happened here?" but he was unable to answer due to hysterics. I left there feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from shoulders. It was a terrible day and a wonderful day all in one. It was the first time that I saw a blessing in my Mom's dementia and now I look for them every day.

Sounds like, as the new saying goes, life gave your mom lemons and she threw them back and insisted on chocolate... Who'd ever believe dementia could be a blessing -- but that's a perfect example!

Sounds like, as the new saying goes, life gave your mom lemons and she threw them back and insisted on chocolate... Who'd ever believe dementia could be a blessing -- but that's a perfect example!

I'm an Alzheimer's caregiver, as my husband (T) is in mid-stage Alz. This story, however, is about my husband's father...

In Dad's last days with brain cancer, T was visiting with him, and his dad said to be very quiet and look over there in the corner of the room - did T see that spy hiding behind the table, looking back and forth and back and forth?

T looked where his dad was indicating, and saw that the 'spy' was a small table fan oscillating back and forth. Dad thought he himself was a 'special agent' and had the time of his life in his mind's exciting James Bond adventures those last days. What a fun way to go!

I'm an Alzheimer's caregiver, as my husband (T) is in mid-stage Alz. This story, however, is about my husband's father...

In Dad's last days with brain cancer, T was visiting with him, and his dad said to be very quiet and look over there in the corner of the room - did T see that spy hiding behind the table, looking back and forth and back and forth?

T looked where his dad was indicating, and saw that the 'spy' was a small table fan oscillating back and forth. Dad thought he himself was a 'special agent' and had the time of his life in his mind's exciting James Bond adventures those last days. What a fun way to go!

Enjoyed your blog very very much. Your Dad seems to be a wonderful man. You are truly blessed. Thank you for sharing with us. Chris

Enjoyed your blog very very much. Your Dad seems to be a wonderful man. You are truly blessed. Thank you for sharing with us. Chris

Thank you so much! You have helped me more than you can know.

Thank you so much! You have helped me more than you can know.

Something every day! Last night we took my parents out for dinner for their 61st anniversary. Mom ordered the salmon. Three minutes later . . . "What did I order?" "The salmon, mom." Three minutes later . . "What did I order?" Same question? Same answer. Dinner (you guessed it--salmon) arrives at the table, and what is the first remark from "Rain-mom"? She said "take this back, please. I ordered the salmon." My husband and my father were laughing so hard they almost choked to death. I took the server aside and gave her the word. She took the plate, walked into the kitchen, and came back with the same plate. She put it in front of my mother, who said "THAT'S the salmon I ordered." By the time this craziness had played out, every table around us was howling. Amazing that no heimlich maneuvers were required. As we left, one after another she was telling people to order the salmon, but to make sure they get it right. It was REALLY funny, but I swear, I could have stuck the fork in her eye if I weren't laughing so hard.

Something every day! Last night we took my parents out for dinner for their 61st anniversary. Mom ordered the salmon. Three minutes later . . . "What did I order?" "The salmon, mom." Three minutes later . . "What did I order?" Same question? Same answer. Dinner (you guessed it--salmon) arrives at the table, and what is the first remark from "Rain-mom"? She said "take this back, please. I ordered the salmon." My husband and my father were laughing so hard they almost choked to death. I took the server aside and gave her the word. She took the plate, walked into the kitchen, and came back with the same plate. She put it in front of my mother, who said "THAT'S the salmon I ordered." By the time this craziness had played out, every table around us was howling. Amazing that no heimlich maneuvers were required. As we left, one after another she was telling people to order the salmon, but to make sure they get it right. It was REALLY funny, but I swear, I could have stuck the fork in her eye if I weren't laughing so hard.

You can share any of my stories that you want to on your site, Kathy!

I am able to keep my sense of humor with Mom in great part because of the wonderful support I get from Dad. He's 96 and still drives to his printing shop each day. I stay with Mom so he can go and spend the morning there. Then he goes to lunch at the senior citizens' center, where he serves as a volunteer. He sets the tables and then serves meals to the "old people" who can't stand in line to get their lunch.

And now, I'm heading off to lunch. For some reason, I have an urge to go get some salmon...

You can share any of my stories that you want to on your site, Kathy!

I am able to keep my sense of humor with Mom in great part because of the wonderful support I get from Dad. He's 96 and still drives to his printing shop each day. I stay with Mom so he can go and spend the morning there. Then he goes to lunch at the senior citizens' center, where he serves as a volunteer. He sets the tables and then serves meals to the "old people" who can't stand in line to get their lunch.

And now, I'm heading off to lunch. For some reason, I have an urge to go get some salmon...

I have not bean to this side but it is great to read this insted of all the sade things I read I will be back often

a couple of dais ago my hsband wanted to move the car back into the garage,( I had parked it on the drive way a little bit on a hill) and put the parking brakes on. he got into the car and the car would not move ,the car locks outomatecly when you start the car and move maybe a foot, He could not imagen what was wrong I nocked on the car window to get his attention and tell him to take off the brace, It just did not sink in.he shud off the ingen and put it in park and the door opened, He got out mad as can be and wanted to know way did you lock the car,I treied to explain about ht eaot. lock but no way he was sure I licked the car I toke him by the hand and made him get back into the car start it and drive a couple of feet and shure enough the car locked .Now are you still sure I locked the car he said no but was still mad but now at him self so he said That was a good laugh for me there are not many Thanks again to all of you it helps to have a good laugh once in a while Sory about the speling I know it is not good but there is no spell check on this side

I have not bean to this side but it is great to read this insted of all the sade things I read I will be back often

a couple of dais ago my hsband wanted to move the car back into the garage,( I had parked it on the drive way a little bit on a hill) and put the parking brakes on. he got into the car and the car would not move ,the car locks outomatecly when you start the car and move maybe a foot, He could not imagen what was wrong I nocked on the car window to get his attention and tell him to take off the brace, It just did not sink in.he shud off the ingen and put it in park and the door opened, He got out mad as can be and wanted to know way did you lock the car,I treied to explain about ht eaot. lock but no way he was sure I licked the car I toke him by the hand and made him get back into the car start it and drive a couple of feet and shure enough the car locked .Now are you still sure I locked the car he said no but was still mad but now at him self so he said That was a good laugh for me there are not many Thanks again to all of you it helps to have a good laugh once in a while Sory about the speling I know it is not good but there is no spell check on this side

One of the things of many that my dad did was when my mom and my dad were watching tv one night. I walked in and saw this weird look on my moms face. This was when my mom was still in a little denial about my dad having Alzeihemers. Well she said she was relaxing laying down on one of the sofas she has in the living room while dad layed on the other one. As she was watching TV, dad said " Did you see that rat that ran to the back of the TV?" Well my mom has a phobia about rats! So she jumps up and starts yelling and getting the broom and moving around furniture. It turns out that there was no rat , My dad was hallucinating. This was one of many more things he saw later, like when I would walk in to visit him and he would ask me "why is that monkey sitting on your back" I love my daddy!!!!!!!

One of the things of many that my dad did was when my mom and my dad were watching tv one night. I walked in and saw this weird look on my moms face. This was when my mom was still in a little denial about my dad having Alzeihemers. Well she said she was relaxing laying down on one of the sofas she has in the living room while dad layed on the other one. As she was watching TV, dad said " Did you see that rat that ran to the back of the TV?" Well my mom has a phobia about rats! So she jumps up and starts yelling and getting the broom and moving around furniture. It turns out that there was no rat , My dad was hallucinating. This was one of many more things he saw later, like when I would walk in to visit him and he would ask me "why is that monkey sitting on your back" I love my daddy!!!!!!!

rubberchicken,

While I'm glad that there is, for so many of us, the ability (necessity?) to laugh, I would suggest that perhaps THAT is the "blessing." Under no circumstance could I ever refer, even tengentially, to progressive dementia of any kind as a blessing. It is a mind-murdering, gut-wrenching, demolition of the self. Bit by bit, the brain deteriorates until all function ceases. When we hear time and time again that "laughter is the best medicine" we might note the inference that medicine is required--something needs to be healed. It's a moment of relief amid hours on hours of tedious repetitive conversation and all too frequently, a very physically wearing twenty hour day. Is laughter a blessing? I suppose so. Dementia? Not in my book. This is not, BTW an angry or indignant response. It's just a response to seeing the words "Dementia" and "blessing" in the same sentence. Sorry--one of those days when I am myself, and my self is worn out. And today, nothing was funny.

rubberchicken,

While I'm glad that there is, for so many of us, the ability (necessity?) to laugh, I would suggest that perhaps THAT is the "blessing." Under no circumstance could I ever refer, even tengentially, to progressive dementia of any kind as a blessing. It is a mind-murdering, gut-wrenching, demolition of the self. Bit by bit, the brain deteriorates until all function ceases. When we hear time and time again that "laughter is the best medicine" we might note the inference that medicine is required--something needs to be healed. It's a moment of relief amid hours on hours of tedious repetitive conversation and all too frequently, a very physically wearing twenty hour day. Is laughter a blessing? I suppose so. Dementia? Not in my book. This is not, BTW an angry or indignant response. It's just a response to seeing the words "Dementia" and "blessing" in the same sentence. Sorry--one of those days when I am myself, and my self is worn out. And today, nothing was funny.

Ruberchicken-I did not laugh for years! I thought my husband turned into an abusive, lazy bully. I was advised to leave him. It turned out to be Alzheimer's. It was a relief to know it was an illness. My attitude changed and we laugh almost every day now. Yes, he helps me in the garden, but plants the plants still in the pots. I spend a lot of time undoing things he's done and looking for things. He thinks I am his girlfriend-should I be mad? We have been married 38 years and he wonders when and how I became such good friends with his (our!) kids. This is now my life-so much for travel and the retirement we planned. Some days are tiring and trying-the sun comes up again tomorrow and we'll have another laugh when we least expect it!

Ruberchicken-I did not laugh for years! I thought my husband turned into an abusive, lazy bully. I was advised to leave him. It turned out to be Alzheimer's. It was a relief to know it was an illness. My attitude changed and we laugh almost every day now. Yes, he helps me in the garden, but plants the plants still in the pots. I spend a lot of time undoing things he's done and looking for things. He thinks I am his girlfriend-should I be mad? We have been married 38 years and he wonders when and how I became such good friends with his (our!) kids. This is now my life-so much for travel and the retirement we planned. Some days are tiring and trying-the sun comes up again tomorrow and we'll have another laugh when we least expect it!

Not Myself --

I agree that this disease is not a blessing in any way. Bad wording on my part. I am just thankful that occasionally our AD folks can have moments of laughter where there is no underlying feeling of dread. We don't seem to have that escape. I guess that's what I was trying to express. And I guess that's why laughter is so important to me.

I have learned in these forums that we can tell when we are having tough days by the things that upset us. Something that seems funny one day is infuriating the next. I just keep plodding through one moment at a time ... and waiting for the next moment to come when something seems funny.

Thanks for reminding me that my wording could upset someone who is having a tough day. That's definitely not the goal of my words. I'm so glad to have people to share this lonely experience with. I have missed my mommy so much while I learn to deal with this new person. She was the person I would have asked for advice in this time and all I can do is answer her over and over again as she asks me if I want a glass of water. Damn, I miss her so much. Sorry. Just slipped into one of those days myself.

Not Myself --

I agree that this disease is not a blessing in any way. Bad wording on my part. I am just thankful that occasionally our AD folks can have moments of laughter where there is no underlying feeling of dread. We don't seem to have that escape. I guess that's what I was trying to express. And I guess that's why laughter is so important to me.

I have learned in these forums that we can tell when we are having tough days by the things that upset us. Something that seems funny one day is infuriating the next. I just keep plodding through one moment at a time ... and waiting for the next moment to come when something seems funny.

Thanks for reminding me that my wording could upset someone who is having a tough day. That's definitely not the goal of my words. I'm so glad to have people to share this lonely experience with. I have missed my mommy so much while I learn to deal with this new person. She was the person I would have asked for advice in this time and all I can do is answer her over and over again as she asks me if I want a glass of water. Damn, I miss her so much. Sorry. Just slipped into one of those days myself.

My Mom is 82 and has dementia. One day we took her to Perkins for lunch. Her 89 year old brother (with dementia also) and his wife was driving thru our town and we decided to meet up. We were sitting there and out of the blue my Mom says "You know what I would like? I want to be in a small room with a good looking man!" We laughed so hard. It was great!

My Mom is 82 and has dementia. One day we took her to Perkins for lunch. Her 89 year old brother (with dementia also) and his wife was driving thru our town and we decided to meet up. We were sitting there and out of the blue my Mom says "You know what I would like? I want to be in a small room with a good looking man!" We laughed so hard. It was great!

Not Myself, I mentioned that Dementia was a blessing in my post about my stepdad passing away and my mom being rather oblivious about it. The reply(from rubberchickie) about dementia possibly being a blessing was intended for me. Out of context, it may have sounded wrong to you, but I fully understood the intent.

As for MY intent, I was so worried about my mom completely falling apart when she heard of her husband's passing. It turned out that she took it in stride and with everything she has lost (her husband, her home, her right to drive, her friends, etc) I felt that this was the one time when her dementia saved her from immense pain. To me, that is a blessing. She has dementia and I can't fix it, but I will continue to look for any bit of positivity in the situation. I don't think anyone here really needs to be reminded about what a horrible disease this is. My mom looks like she's 60 and is in great health, so it pains me terribly to see what this has done to her mind. She's here, but she's not HERE and I miss her very much. She's the one who raised me to find the blessings in any situation and for that I am thankful.

Not Myself, I mentioned that Dementia was a blessing in my post about my stepdad passing away and my mom being rather oblivious about it. The reply(from rubberchickie) about dementia possibly being a blessing was intended for me. Out of context, it may have sounded wrong to you, but I fully understood the intent.

As for MY intent, I was so worried about my mom completely falling apart when she heard of her husband's passing. It turned out that she took it in stride and with everything she has lost (her husband, her home, her right to drive, her friends, etc) I felt that this was the one time when her dementia saved her from immense pain. To me, that is a blessing. She has dementia and I can't fix it, but I will continue to look for any bit of positivity in the situation. I don't think anyone here really needs to be reminded about what a horrible disease this is. My mom looks like she's 60 and is in great health, so it pains me terribly to see what this has done to her mind. She's here, but she's not HERE and I miss her very much. She's the one who raised me to find the blessings in any situation and for that I am thankful.

smile and laugh as long as you can.I'll bet she had a sence of humor when she was young.You are blessed to be with her and to still have her.

smile and laugh as long as you can.I'll bet she had a sence of humor when she was young.You are blessed to be with her and to still have her.

Amen to that! Thanks Patricia!

Mom has always had a great sense of humor. And she's still teaching me lessons everyday. I remember when I was young she taught me valuable lessons like -- only "bad girls" shaved above their knees, that I should always carry a nickel for "mad money" in case I got mad on a date and needed to call home, and that burned toast was good for you because it had extra minerals in it. Of course, that last one might have been because Mom was a really bad cook -- a talent that I inherited.

Linking laughter and learning is actually my theme for life.

Amen to that! Thanks Patricia!

Mom has always had a great sense of humor. And she's still teaching me lessons everyday. I remember when I was young she taught me valuable lessons like -- only "bad girls" shaved above their knees, that I should always carry a nickel for "mad money" in case I got mad on a date and needed to call home, and that burned toast was good for you because it had extra minerals in it. Of course, that last one might have been because Mom was a really bad cook -- a talent that I inherited.

Linking laughter and learning is actually my theme for life.

Rubberchicken,

Sorry that now it's you having "one of those days." I think, though, that it's ok to slip into the "slough of despond" every once in a while--and more frequently if necessary. Today was funny because Rain-mom asked me what time we were going to the pool 18 times during the 60 minutes before we left to go there. I was laughing, but . . . not so much.

I have to admit that I do get wacko over some of this stuff a whole lot more often than I care to. Those are the times when there are two things one should never say to me: 1) It's a blessing in disguise and 2) God has a special place for you in heaven. My answer to the first is "yeah right, like the old testament plagues were a blessing??" My answer to the second is thank you very much, but I expect to live at least a few more years, so I'll take mine now. The hell with heaven so to speak.

Back to funny. Rain-mom just asked if I would like her to make supper tonight. This is funny in so many ways. First of all, she always cooked like a mess sergeant and all of us HATED her cooking. We ate it because that was all there was. Second, she hasn't cooked ANYTHING in four years--not even in the microwave, and her major accomplishment every day is boiling water for instant coffee. She won't drink coffee from a regular pot, because "it tastes very odd." So, just for fun, I asked her what she wanted to make for supper. The answer? Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I told her she can make them for lunch tomorrow. Safe enough. She won't remember.

Rubberchicken,

Sorry that now it's you having "one of those days." I think, though, that it's ok to slip into the "slough of despond" every once in a while--and more frequently if necessary. Today was funny because Rain-mom asked me what time we were going to the pool 18 times during the 60 minutes before we left to go there. I was laughing, but . . . not so much.

I have to admit that I do get wacko over some of this stuff a whole lot more often than I care to. Those are the times when there are two things one should never say to me: 1) It's a blessing in disguise and 2) God has a special place for you in heaven. My answer to the first is "yeah right, like the old testament plagues were a blessing??" My answer to the second is thank you very much, but I expect to live at least a few more years, so I'll take mine now. The hell with heaven so to speak.

Back to funny. Rain-mom just asked if I would like her to make supper tonight. This is funny in so many ways. First of all, she always cooked like a mess sergeant and all of us HATED her cooking. We ate it because that was all there was. Second, she hasn't cooked ANYTHING in four years--not even in the microwave, and her major accomplishment every day is boiling water for instant coffee. She won't drink coffee from a regular pot, because "it tastes very odd." So, just for fun, I asked her what she wanted to make for supper. The answer? Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I told her she can make them for lunch tomorrow. Safe enough. She won't remember.

Rubberchicken, Are you sure we didn't have the same Mom? Mine passed away 25 years ago. She had us carry a dime when we went out in case we needed to make a call and said a little burned food was good since it would absorb any poinons in our body! It wasn't til years later that I discovered liver and pork chops didn't have to be like shoe leather! I bet they are having a knee slapping time about what they used to tell us! And we believed it!!

Rubberchicken, Are you sure we didn't have the same Mom? Mine passed away 25 years ago. She had us carry a dime when we went out in case we needed to make a call and said a little burned food was good since it would absorb any poinons in our body! It wasn't til years later that I discovered liver and pork chops didn't have to be like shoe leather! I bet they are having a knee slapping time about what they used to tell us! And we believed it!!

Today my day was blown by worrying about a call I got on my cell phone from a collection agency that said they needed to talk to my mom. I explained that she doesn't even remember what a phone is anymore, and that I've handled her affairs for years, I have her POA. The first time I was in my car, and the woman rattled off a SSN, then asked if that was right. I told her I'd call back. The second person hung up on me. The third person told me she couldn't tell me anything about what this call was about until they had received a copy of my POA in the mail, or via a FAX. I asked about the SSN, she put her supervisor on...he insinuated that I was a scammer! ME?!? When I asked how I could have the cell number that he was asking for Mom at, and know her SSN, he said I could have gone dumpster-diving for it! I asked what if I send you nothing? He got snotty and said he would put in the file that I was "non-compliant". I worried for most of the day until my friend who is a lawyer called me back. He swore a lot, to let me know just what he thinks of collection agencies and their lawyers. Then he explained that I have a right, if they ever call again, to tell them not to ever call me, and to send me data in the mail or file a lawsuit. He says that it sounds like a scam, but if it is not it is up to them to find me and take if further. He says her money is safe under my control, and not to worry. I realize this isn't funny, but maybe it will be useful to someone else? I COULD tell you just what my lawyer said, but that kind of "blue humor" is not for everyone! ;-D

Today my day was blown by worrying about a call I got on my cell phone from a collection agency that said they needed to talk to my mom. I explained that she doesn't even remember what a phone is anymore, and that I've handled her affairs for years, I have her POA. The first time I was in my car, and the woman rattled off a SSN, then asked if that was right. I told her I'd call back. The second person hung up on me. The third person told me she couldn't tell me anything about what this call was about until they had received a copy of my POA in the mail, or via a FAX. I asked about the SSN, she put her supervisor on...he insinuated that I was a scammer! ME?!? When I asked how I could have the cell number that he was asking for Mom at, and know her SSN, he said I could have gone dumpster-diving for it! I asked what if I send you nothing? He got snotty and said he would put in the file that I was "non-compliant". I worried for most of the day until my friend who is a lawyer called me back. He swore a lot, to let me know just what he thinks of collection agencies and their lawyers. Then he explained that I have a right, if they ever call again, to tell them not to ever call me, and to send me data in the mail or file a lawsuit. He says that it sounds like a scam, but if it is not it is up to them to find me and take if further. He says her money is safe under my control, and not to worry. I realize this isn't funny, but maybe it will be useful to someone else? I COULD tell you just what my lawyer said, but that kind of "blue humor" is not for everyone! ;-D

If they call after you tell them not to, do not give any info and put your mom on the phone. A nurse in my husband's doctor's office called and would not talk to me, but wanted him. I said ok, gave him the phone, and left the room.

If they call after you tell them not to, do not give any info and put your mom on the phone. A nurse in my husband's doctor's office called and would not talk to me, but wanted him. I said ok, gave him the phone, and left the room.

Give my MOM the phone? Now THAT'S funny!

Give my MOM the phone? Now THAT'S funny!

Right now, my sister is the sole caregiver for our mom. She has eleven children. We take turns sitting when her whenever possible, doing our part to give her some relief. But, it is the times when most of us can get together with our mom as the center of attention. We would bring up memories about growing up, the trouble the older kids caused and how they were disciplined. Then she would chime telling the memory how she remembers it in her spunky way. Before we know it, we are all laughing and crying at the same time.

Right now, my sister is the sole caregiver for our mom. She has eleven children. We take turns sitting when her whenever possible, doing our part to give her some relief. But, it is the times when most of us can get together with our mom as the center of attention. We would bring up memories about growing up, the trouble the older kids caused and how they were disciplined. Then she would chime telling the memory how she remembers it in her spunky way. Before we know it, we are all laughing and crying at the same time.

I was working at a alzheimers facility and everyone was sitting in the lunchroom. I walked past three ladies sitting at one table, couldnt help but to notice what these ladies were talking about. They were hard of hearing, and speaking very loud. The women were really involved in their conversation to one another. the only thing was each lady was talking about something that had nothing to do with what the other was talking about. Not sure if this has much to do with dementia but not able to hear is what i would assume was main reason for this.

I was working at a alzheimers facility and everyone was sitting in the lunchroom. I walked past three ladies sitting at one table, couldnt help but to notice what these ladies were talking about. They were hard of hearing, and speaking very loud. The women were really involved in their conversation to one another. the only thing was each lady was talking about something that had nothing to do with what the other was talking about. Not sure if this has much to do with dementia but not able to hear is what i would assume was main reason for this.

I took my Mom a coupla years ago, to visit her cousin, who had had a stroke, and was in a nursing home. They had grown up together, playing together as girls. My mom, Emily, talked about how much fun they had as children. Evelyn talked about other stuff. They sat facing each other, each holding on their own conversations, but neither one listening or caring about what the other was saying! I just sat there laughing to myself, at how crazy life is sometimes.

I took my Mom a coupla years ago, to visit her cousin, who had had a stroke, and was in a nursing home. They had grown up together, playing together as girls. My mom, Emily, talked about how much fun they had as children. Evelyn talked about other stuff. They sat facing each other, each holding on their own conversations, but neither one listening or caring about what the other was saying! I just sat there laughing to myself, at how crazy life is sometimes.

I have my Dad living with me. One thing that really sticks out in my mind is the day he tried to put his sleep pants on by himself while laying in bed. He hollered for "help". I went in to find both of his legs in one leg of the pants,both feet sticking out, I said "what now, you trying to be a mermaid?" After I finally got done laughing I helped him put them on.

After my dad broke his hip he had a male physical therapist coming to help him. this was also after a round of hemroids. When the therapist showed up for his second visit, my Dad said, I thought I was rid of my hemroids and you come along! Luckily the therapist had a sence of humor! after that when we refered to his therapist as "dads hemroid!"

When retelling his daily "out of mind" episodes I always laugh because it helps to laugh! Yesterday he hollered for one of my sisters ( who lives 500 miles away), I said shes not here, he said well who is it? I said me, Leslie. He said, " I should of known you would be the one in this here truck stop". Of us 5 daughters I would be the last one to be hanging in a truck stop!!!

I have my Dad living with me. One thing that really sticks out in my mind is the day he tried to put his sleep pants on by himself while laying in bed. He hollered for "help". I went in to find both of his legs in one leg of the pants,both feet sticking out, I said "what now, you trying to be a mermaid?" After I finally got done laughing I helped him put them on.

After my dad broke his hip he had a male physical therapist coming to help him. this was also after a round of hemroids. When the therapist showed up for his second visit, my Dad said, I thought I was rid of my hemroids and you come along! Luckily the therapist had a sence of humor! after that when we refered to his therapist as "dads hemroid!"

When retelling his daily "out of mind" episodes I always laugh because it helps to laugh! Yesterday he hollered for one of my sisters ( who lives 500 miles away), I said shes not here, he said well who is it? I said me, Leslie. He said, " I should of known you would be the one in this here truck stop". Of us 5 daughters I would be the last one to be hanging in a truck stop!!!

Thank's Rellin I had a good laugh verry funny

Thank's Rellin I had a good laugh verry funny

Mom and I were working on a little photo album of memories for her. she could not remember any of the pictures, till we ran across a photo of her with a deck hand on a cruse we took a few years back. whil she was looking at the phote, she replied " I sure wanted to shag him" that cracked me up. Also right before she totally lost her cognitive functions,Mom said she wanted to go to the beach and walk in the sand and put her feet in the water. I told her she would have a hard time doing that with he walker. I then suggested we get two really buff handsome men to carry her out to the water and dip her in the ocean. Her face lit up and she asked when can we do that?

Mom and I were working on a little photo album of memories for her. she could not remember any of the pictures, till we ran across a photo of her with a deck hand on a cruse we took a few years back. whil she was looking at the phote, she replied " I sure wanted to shag him" that cracked me up. Also right before she totally lost her cognitive functions,Mom said she wanted to go to the beach and walk in the sand and put her feet in the water. I told her she would have a hard time doing that with he walker. I then suggested we get two really buff handsome men to carry her out to the water and dip her in the ocean. Her face lit up and she asked when can we do that?

I needed this blog. Thank you. I will look at it often. Laughter is great medicine.

I needed this blog. Thank you. I will look at it often. Laughter is great medicine.