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about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

:)

about 4 years ago

I think the nice thing about AD is that one can meet new people every day!

Charlotte, ALIG

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Hahahahah...without even leaving the house! LOL!

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator! " she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard," he says. She got in the back-seat by mistake."

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

As Uncle Herman was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, You know you aren't supposed to drive! I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful and come right home!"

"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

A new study says low levels of testosterone in older men may lead to Alzheimer's disease.

Ironically, in younger men high levels of testosterone can also render the brain completely useless.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

about 4 years ago
amydala said...

ROFL!!! ooops sorry, that laugh kind of slipped out ;)

about 4 years ago

An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. On the memo line, she'd written, "Repairs."

In January, my wife, a physician, met with an elderly patient. "So was Santa good to you?" she asked.

"Real good," he said. "I got an SUV."

"Nice."

"Yeah "¦ Socks, Underwear, and Viagra." I hereby announce that this is NOT a true story about me! Charlotte

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

LOL!!

about 4 years ago
donoharm said...

"Where are you going?" the wife asked of her senile husband. "Going to cut the grass," as he headed to the garage. She ran to the window when she heard the car starting and peering out, saw him driving across the front lawn, down the side, and to the back yard, back and forth, up and down. Finally, he parked the car, went in the house and triumphantly said, "Wow! That power mower is the best."

about 4 years ago
stillgrowing said...

love the jokes. Thanks.

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about 4 years ago

Those are some good LOL moments. Thanks for sharing :)

about 4 years ago
Pr0sperity said...

You have really made me laugh today!

about 4 years ago
Fiona said...

I have an aunt who has multiple physical ailments. Her husband is a little younger than her, but has had a bypass for his heart condition. I asked her at a recent funeral how they are doing. She said that old age is great. When she has to get up to pee in the middle of the night, as she does multiple times a night, when she sees him in the hall for the same reason, she has no idea who he is. I told her that it's like being in college again...she can have a one-night-stand with him every night!

My Mom has Alzheimers. When I moved her into the "Reminiscence" wing of her assisted living place, I started to notice that things that are not hers were in her room. I nervously mentioned this to the lead caregiver, worried that others would think that she was stealing. She told me not to worry, saying the good thing about working back there is that even if that happens, no one remembers what is theirs, so no one notices anything is gone...and if they do, they don't remember it 5 minutes later! No long-term grudges around there!

about 4 years ago

That is both funny and hearrbreaking.....not noticing the theft and then forgetting it anyway, but it is a blessing as well. Cute stories and deserves a good laugh.

Here is maybe another little laugh. A Lahore wife complained that her husband is extremely forgetful. . . "he keeps forgetting things- - like being married."


With the world in such a confused state, no wonder that babies cry when they come into it. . . .


Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy. . . . .

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Ahhh...gratitude. I wonder since I get next to none these days if I'm forgetting to give it.

Well, damn! That wasn't funny!

about 4 years ago

I think if it is ok to be funny, it is also ok to be "unfunny" sometimes! Char

about 4 years ago
Gabby12 said...

My father is in late stages Alzheimer's and as many other caregivers know, they repeat the same stories from their past over & over again. One thing that we have started to do in my family, to ease daily tension of caregiving and that makes us giggle. Is to quiz one another about his stories. Of course one problem with that is that his stories sometimes drastically changes. So then, we have to say "okay which story line?".. lol

about 4 years ago

Good to hear of this kind of familial interaction...so oftenit is a much sadder story, thanks for the uplift, Charlotte

about 4 years ago
gailnbob said...

I've heard this one a hundred times, and laugh every time! Thanks for the smile! God Bless you!

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Doctor Ryan tells his patient, Muriel, 'Well I have good news and bad news...'

Muriel responds, 'Tell me Doc. What's the bad news?'

You have Alzheimer's disease.'

'Good heavens!' exclaims Muriel, ' So, what's the good news?'

'You can go home and forget about it.' Says Dr Ryan

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Q. How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

A. To get to the other side.

:)

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

My guess is there's not much of anything funny today.

about 4 years ago

I sent 2 or 3 things today, not sure how to get them to post here though. Is it only possible to paste a post here?? Then here is one..

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, " Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"

about 4 years ago

Here is another one....but don't get spoiled, I can't find 3 every day...

A Florida officer pulled over eighty-six-year-old Mrs. Stuart because her hand signals were confusing.

"First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left," said the officer.

"I decided not to turn right," she explained.

"Then why the up and down?" asked the officer.

"Officer," she sniffed, "I was erasing!"

about 4 years ago

How to send a pix??? Or is that not possible? A couple of them were my 3rd joke..Charlotte

about 4 years ago

Here is another one, but I don't see the first 3 I posted today.

As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them.

about 4 years ago

Of course, !! That was a slap on my forehead....I forgot the page end does come up....Maybe I am succumbing to the dreaded disease too??

No, I checked it out, I take 3 meds that do cause similar symptoms though..

Anyway here are the last of my jokes for a little while...

As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them.

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran

I live in my own little world, but it is ok.. They all know me here.

about 4 years ago
CA-Claire said...

A senior couple were getting together to have dinner in one of their homes, and the wives were in the kitchen working. The husbands were in the family room chatting.

One man said to the other 'We went to a restaurant last week for dinner and had a wonderful time. The food was great, service was superb, and the location was wonderful.'

The other man asked 'What's the name of the place'

The first man scratched his head, thought for a bit, then said "I can't quite remember - what's the name of that flower, you know, the one with the thorns?'

The second man said 'You mean a rose?'

The first man said 'Yes! that's it!' Then he shouted 'Rose - what's the name of that restaurant we ate at last week?'

Provided by the best Psychologist in the world - you know who you are John.

about 4 years ago
donoharm said...

"Dad, why are you carrying on so?" "Well, this is the second cell phone they sent me that isn't working. Just as worthless as the other one they sent. I put it up to my ear, back down and press buttons and nothing happens. I've been trying all morning to make a call and can't get anything." "But Dad, that's your shaver."

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

One evening a family brings their mother to a respite center so they might have an evening out. She has dementia and rarely communicates, but trust that she will be well cared for.

The next morning, the caregivers bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in her chair. The attentive caregiver immediately rushs up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The caregiver again rushs back and once more get her upright.

This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to take her home and they ask, "So Ma, how was it here? Did they treat you all right?".

"Nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart"

about 4 years ago

SEX AT 78! I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 78! I'm sooooo happy, because I live at unit 67... so it's not far to walk home afterwards!

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

LOL!!!!!

about 4 years ago
Lisa B said...

LOL Charlotte and Slfedine!! Thanks for the smile!

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Three older men are undergoing a memory test at the doctor's office.

The Doctor asks "What is three times three?"

The first man answers "274."

The second man answers "Tuesday."

The third man answers "Nine."

The doctor pleasantly surprised at the third man's correct response, inquires "Great! How did you get that answer?"

"Simple. Just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

Ahhhh...dementia logic!

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex.."

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

about 4 years ago
LauraL said...

Still cracking up over the Easter Egg one. My mother says she'll make new friends all over again every day!

about 4 years ago
LauraL said...

LOL badum-dum!

about 4 years ago
Lisa B said...

Okay, I literally just LOL when I went back to read the earlier jokes- especially the how many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb joke!

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Oh, I know this is no joke about dementia, but it cracked me up. BTW, did you know jokes are good for people with dementia? They're also good for us caregivers...and we can use the same joke everyday with the people we care for - less work on us! :)

Anyway, on with the joke...

Sadie was talking to her best friend Rachel. "Is that a new ring I see you're wearing, Rachel?"

"Yes it is, Sadie," replies Rachel. "My husband Max bought it for me. It's special. I call it my mood ring."

"Why do you call it that?" asks Sadie.

"Well, when I'm in a good mood it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead."

about 4 years ago
CA-Claire said...

My brother was helping settle our parents into an Independent Living facility while my sister and I were packing up their house 165 miles away. I never laughed so hard in my life when he told me this story.

Mom and Dad were in a furnished apartment for the 6 days it would take for us to get the movers in and things all packed. Dad (very early stage ALZ) was complaining that the TV did not have a remote control (TV was 8 feet from the couch). My brother got tired of this, and quit explaining that it was nice for them not to have to stay in a hotel. Mom (early to midstage ALZ) evidently got really tired of it. At one point, their cell phone (Motorola L2 for those tech savvy people). The next time Dad complained about the remote, she picked up the cell phone and told him here's the remote - what are you complaining about.

Then I found a birthday card for my brother - which told me he was only getting older when he thought the cell phone was the remote for the TV....

about 4 years ago
stillgrowing said...

Loving the jokes. Keep them coming.

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about 4 years ago

Something was gnawing on the attic fan vent in my attic. I banged on the louvre with a broom handle and a mouse fell into the hallway and sped into my bedroom. I set a trap, caught the mouse and wondered how to dispose of it as I am very squeamish. I was telling my mom about it and she offered to dispose of the mouse. So I handed her a paper towel and a plastic bag and told her to put the mouse in the bag. She walked to my bedroom, came out in a very agitated state and said "Oh my gosh, Carol, there's a dead mouse in your bedroom". Mom is so forgetful.

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

LOL!!

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

It's that time to take the caregiver's stress test!

The following posts are a private way to gauge your stress levels.

Don't move to the next post until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind, deep breath and begin.

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Question 1. What do you put in a toaster?

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and go lay down. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Question 2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do Cows drink?

about 4 years ago
Frazzled said...

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself With reading a more appropriate literature such as the comic strips.

However, if you said 'water', proceed to Question 3.

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