You have to do what you think is best for you,what you feel is correct for this situation. If this was your in-laws would you take them in? Yes, your husband would be jumping to make sure his family is cared for. My husband knew when my mother became sick that there was no other situation to this, we had already went through his family when the end was near. Be strong, sit down and explain this to your husband. Most important of all pray. Remember he only gives us what we can handle.

You have to do what you think is best for you,what you feel is correct for this situation. If this was your in-laws would you take them in? Yes, your husband would be jumping to make sure his family is cared for. My husband knew when my mother became sick that there was no other situation to this, we had already went through his family when the end was near. Be strong, sit down and explain this to your husband. Most important of all pray. Remember he only gives us what we can handle.

My husband is supportive in this to an extent. He is a great man who supports nearly everything I do. He has put up with a lot from my mom. He realizes that, besides the stress on the family, this is added stress to me because I am ultimately responsible for my mom. It's just that he is vocal (to me) about not wanting her here. I really don't want her here either. She is a very difficult woman to live with. She just can't live on her own and there is no where else for her. I can't throw her out on the street.

She is not dependent enough for nursing care but she can't really care for herself. VA and Social Security are dragging their feet on getting her benefits to her so she can't live in assisted living anymore. We also have an autistic child and all of our financial resources are spent on his therapies and medicine. We can't afford to pay for her assisted living.

My husband is supportive in this to an extent. He is a great man who supports nearly everything I do. He has put up with a lot from my mom. He realizes that, besides the stress on the family, this is added stress to me because I am ultimately responsible for my mom. It's just that he is vocal (to me) about not wanting her here. I really don't want her here either. She is a very difficult woman to live with. She just can't live on her own and there is no where else for her. I can't throw her out on the street.

She is not dependent enough for nursing care but she can't really care for herself. VA and Social Security are dragging their feet on getting her benefits to her so she can't live in assisted living anymore. We also have an autistic child and all of our financial resources are spent on his therapies and medicine. We can't afford to pay for her assisted living.

Wow, you sound in much the same situation as me. I am 38 yrs old with a 8 year old, 5 year old and twin boys that just turned two. Our family life is very busy and stressful in its own right. Summer of 2009 I realized that my father had some major memory and reasoning problems. I became the caregiver to 4 young boys, and now my dad who is 76 and diagnosed with dementia. I have been on an extremely wild ride as my dad's dementia has progressed very quickly over the last year and a bit. My husband was supportful and still is with respect to me helping my father. My in-laws and I have had huge arguments over the fact that my father has been selfish in not considering his care needs and the strain its put on us. Many big heated arguments over the fact that they think that the kids should come first, etc. etc.

Well, after going on a 3 week trip to Southern CA and lots of days in Disneyland, I now realize that I was going down a dark path for myself. I am an only child so there was nobody else that could or would help my dad. He was existing in his own house only because of my help which would involve a one hour drive there and back. The kids were resenting the fact that GRANDPA was taking up all of my time. I know realize that I can no longer help him and he has made choices (i.e. not to move closer to us, not to move in with us, not to get additional help from government nurses, etc.) He cannot be helped by me and I refuse to have my children suffer with an absentee mother. I also recognize that I am no longer able to jeapordize my relationship with my husband (married 15 years) over my father. In our situation, he has the financial means to be well taken care of in assisted living. He just flat out refuses to move from his rat infested house.

I am now in the process of getting the government case manager to help push him into a nursing home. He is now living in danger to himself and I refuse to assist him any further. I have also threatened the government case manager to call child services on me because I cannot provide care for my father without neglecting the kids. Even they now understand that the kids come first.

Good luck to you. Just remember, you, your husband, and kids come first. The children don't have a choice or a voice and this is their childhood which can be effected. Do the best you can and do not go down a dark path of taking too much on.

Wow, you sound in much the same situation as me. I am 38 yrs old with a 8 year old, 5 year old and twin boys that just turned two. Our family life is very busy and stressful in its own right. Summer of 2009 I realized that my father had some major memory and reasoning problems. I became the caregiver to 4 young boys, and now my dad who is 76 and diagnosed with dementia. I have been on an extremely wild ride as my dad's dementia has progressed very quickly over the last year and a bit. My husband was supportful and still is with respect to me helping my father. My in-laws and I have had huge arguments over the fact that my father has been selfish in not considering his care needs and the strain its put on us. Many big heated arguments over the fact that they think that the kids should come first, etc. etc.

Well, after going on a 3 week trip to Southern CA and lots of days in Disneyland, I now realize that I was going down a dark path for myself. I am an only child so there was nobody else that could or would help my dad. He was existing in his own house only because of my help which would involve a one hour drive there and back. The kids were resenting the fact that GRANDPA was taking up all of my time. I know realize that I can no longer help him and he has made choices (i.e. not to move closer to us, not to move in with us, not to get additional help from government nurses, etc.) He cannot be helped by me and I refuse to have my children suffer with an absentee mother. I also recognize that I am no longer able to jeapordize my relationship with my husband (married 15 years) over my father. In our situation, he has the financial means to be well taken care of in assisted living. He just flat out refuses to move from his rat infested house.

I am now in the process of getting the government case manager to help push him into a nursing home. He is now living in danger to himself and I refuse to assist him any further. I have also threatened the government case manager to call child services on me because I cannot provide care for my father without neglecting the kids. Even they now understand that the kids come first.

Good luck to you. Just remember, you, your husband, and kids come first. The children don't have a choice or a voice and this is their childhood which can be effected. Do the best you can and do not go down a dark path of taking too much on.