Intro (with a little venting)
I am a 34-year old wife, mother, and teacher. My husband and I have been married 12 years. I have 2 young children (one special needs). My 62-year old mom has lived with us twice in the past 12 years. She has spent the last few months in an assisted living facility but she could no longer afford it (because the government is dragging their feet) so she is moving back in with us for her 3rd stay.
The last time she lived with us she nearly burned our house down. She has no where else to go. I have 3 siblings but only 1 that offers any support and she can't take her in. One of my sisters wants me to "just drop her off in the ghetto" and make her live in a box. My brother moved away specifically so he wouldn't have to take care of her. I am the oldest of my siblings and have had to be the mom, even to my own mom, since I was about 8. I somewhat resent that, but still feel responsible for her. After all, she is my mom. I also manage her finances and medical - just as I did for her mother.
My husband and in-laws are VERY upset that this is falling on us and our family. Even though I have told them that I can't handle their comments, they don't realize that their anger about the issue puts even more stress on me.
I feel like I'm about to completely lose it. This is all-consuming. I have little time for my husband and kids and I feel guilty because I'm missing time with them and putting more of our family responsibility on my husband. I also feel guilty if I don't take care of my mom's needs. How can I make things better? There doesn't seem like there is any light at the end of my tunnel.