My daughter is battling Stage 4 Met Breast Cancer at age 25.
My daughter was dxed on April 22nd this year with met breast cancer, spread to bone (compression fractures c6 and t6-t11. liver and spleen. Lungs questionable, they thought they saw a few spots. On June 27th after she opted out of chemo, very sick, 3 infections, and she decided quality is better than than so call quantity they are trying to give her. She also had palliative radiation, ruined her esophagus and literally burnt her from the inside out. My daughter was told her cancer incurable, she has probably had it 8 yrs and she might live 12 to 24 months with treatment and 6 to 18 without. She has experienced weight loss, loss of appetite, hot flashes, nausea, vomiting, lethargy, enlarged spleen, discomfort in the shoulder, back, ribs and she as Ascites (swelling of the abdomen due to liver holding fluid) and a heaviest under rib cage, and of course depression. My daughters calcium was 17.6 (norm is 9) and she was pregnant with her first child. Pregnancy of course had to be terminated. It has been a nightmare. She has undergone two kyphoplasty procedures to stablize spine (cement like substance is injected between vertebrates. She has lot everything and now living back home with me (her mom). Today she just started crying and apologize because she just couldn't stop, my heart was just breaking. I honestly do not know how i am going to continue handling watching my only daughter die. I do wonder how long she will live, I wonder how I will remain strong, how I will stand at her funeral. I feel like I was kicked in the stomach and that feeling has not gone away since April 22nd. Having to tell my daughter 24 at the time, that she had stage 4 cancer that spread and that she had to terminate her pregnancy was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
HELLO MY NAME IS JIM DRAINER. I CAN JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH. iM FLYING BACK TO TEXAS FROM CALIFORNIA, BECAUSE MY LITTLE SISTER HAS MAYBE 2- WEEKS TO LIVE, SO THEY SAY. ITS UP TO GOD. ALL WE CAN DO IS GIVE EVERY LAST MOLECULE OF OUR LOVE AND SURROUND HER WITH THAT. GIVE HER WHATEVER HER HEART DESIRES, READ TO HER WATCH A MOVIE WITH HER AND GIVE HER EVERYTHING SHE WANTS. THIS IS THE HARDEST TIME IVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE BUT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. GOD BLESS YOU SO MUCH.
JIM DRAINER...
Dear Jim, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. My daughter Denyse passed away on Oct. 30, 2011 - 6 months and week after dxd. I live in Austin,Tx where are you flying into? If you would like to talk 1-512-608-4065 and I would be happy to meet your sister. Believe it or not I am a Nutritional Practitioner and teach people how to avoid getting cancer. Here is my daughters story and it explains why she ended up with cancer. www.denysedipietrobcs86.com
Gloria
glo65, I'd like to begin by extending my sincere condolences to you. I just visited the website you began in memory of your beautiful daughter Denyse. What an amazing tribute!! I don't usually visit the "caregiver community" section, but when I clicked in this evening and then into "cancer forum", Stage 4 Breast Cancer jumped off the screen at me. My best friend has been battling Stage 4 breast cancer. She is 55 and has two young boys who keep her in the fight. Your daughter was so young and your loss too great to express in words. My heart aches for you ♥. I wanted to write this note to you and thank you so very much for all the information you shared on your website, from Denyse's story, to all the diet information and beyond. Denyse, I'm sure, would be so very proud of you. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the memories of Denyse bring a smile to your face, before a tear in your eyes. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless ♥+♥
Hello there its my first time here and my sis in law was just diagnosed with breast cancer i am trying to show my support in every way i can can u guys advice me in whats the best way to show them im there for them and what to expect toward this situation, we still dont know what stage shes in tests are being done but its just a scary situation for me id appreciate all the advice i can get from you all. god bless.
Hi Jackie, Sorry to hear of your sis in law's diagnosis. I agree with you that it can be very scary. When she finds out what stage of the disease she is at, you will have a better idea of what her journey may entail as far as treatment and the length of time of treatment. Has she had surgery yet ? Lumpectomy or Mastectomy ? Depending on what stage she is, she could be looking at radiation; or radiation followed by chemotherapy. Radiation treatments can be every day for weeks and they can be exhausting. Her support system will become very important, if not the most important part of her journey. Her family and her friends are what will help her through some of her most difficult times ahead. Continue to let her know that you will be there for her for whatever she needs. Be consistent and available to her as much as you can. I have to tell you, one of the things my friend appreciates the most, is going with her for her chemo treatments. Depending on what type of chemo they're receiving, those days can be very long and very lonely if your by yourself. They usually have to have blood work before they can receive the chemo each time and then the chemo can take a couple of hours to infuse, so having someone there with you to chat with is a blessing. Also there are the oncology follow up appointments; testing (CT Scans etc) and test result day. I have gone to every test result day with my friend for the past 5 yrs. I use to be her "chemo buddy" and went every time, but then my mom's Alzheimer's disease progressed where I have to stay with her 24/7, so we found my friend 2 other chemo buddies who take turns. Some other things she has found helpful are the days when she has chemo, someone will drop off a casserole or stop by with pizza or something for her & her family (husband & 2 boys). Having someone to do your grocery shopping when your just too exhausted to go. Sometimes just do things without asking, such as a grocery order or dropping off a prepared meal that just needs to be warmed up in the microwave or oven. Someone to help clean the house. She had a friend who came and fixed something in her car. Someone to just come over to have a cup of tea and allow her to either talk or just be quiet and enjoy the company. Offer your services to her and let her decide. Encourage her to talk it out with someone she trusts. Just be there for her and letting her know that your available is very comforting. Good Luck and God Bless You, Your SIL & Your Families ♥
