Wealthy stepfather won't spend a dime toward our mother's stroke recovery
My 65 year old mother suffered a severe stroke four months ago. Since then my sister and I have become increasingly unhappy with the quality and amount of care our stepfather is willing to put toward our mother's recovery. He claims he only wants the best for her, but we witness him only providing the bare minimum for her. He is extremely wealthy and affords a lifestyle most people can only dream about. It is heartbreaking and frustrating for my sister and I to see him not spend the money now, when it counts most. He will not spend one dime toward her speech and physical therapy, relying solely on Medicare services which will soon end. She is unable to move her right side, cannot walk or speak and is not progressing.
How do we come to terms with the fact that our mother is being given minimal care when there is the potential for her to have the the hightest quality, private care? Without our stepfather spending the extra money for private therapies, she will remain an invalid and will never be able to communicate again. Unfortunately my sister and I live out of state and we do not have the financial means to provide the care for her. To add to the stress, our stepfather does not communicate with us anymore, as he doesn't like any offer of help or listen to suggestions. Our only means of getting information about her health, or "speaking" with our mother, is through her friends.
Also, every time my sister and I make arrangements for our mother's care and comfort (ie. providing information on stroke, interviewing caregivers, buying special bedding, etc.),our stepfather rejects, returns, cancels and deletes any work we have done.
Must my sister and I stand by and watch our mother deteriorate under his rule? We are saddened, depressed and ruined, not only by the loss of our mother, but by the loss of our stepfather who we thought was a loving man.
Wealthy stepfather won't spend a dime toward our mother's stroke recovery
My 65 year old mother suffered a severe stroke four months ago. Since then my sister and I have become increasingly unhappy with the quality and amount of care our stepfather is willing to put toward our mother's recovery. He claims he only wants the best for her, but we witness him only providing the bare minimum for her. He is extremely wealthy and affords a lifestyle most people can only dream about. It is heartbreaking and frustrating for my sister and I to see him not spend the money now, when it counts most. He will not spend one dime toward her speech and physical therapy, relying solely on Medicare services which will soon end. She is unable to move her right side, cannot walk or speak and is not progressing.
How do we come to terms with the fact that our mother is being given minimal care when there is the potential for her to have the the hightest quality, private care? Without our stepfather spending the extra money for private therapies, she will remain an invalid and will never be able to communicate again. Unfortunately my sister and I live out of state and we do not have the financial means to provide the care for her. To add to the stress, our stepfather does not communicate with us anymore, as he doesn't like any offer of help or listen to suggestions. Our only means of getting information about her health, or "speaking" with our mother, is through her friends.
Also, every time my sister and I make arrangements for our mother's care and comfort (ie. providing information on stroke, interviewing caregivers, buying special bedding, etc.),our stepfather rejects, returns, cancels and deletes any work we have done.
Must my sister and I stand by and watch our mother deteriorate under his rule? We are saddened, depressed and ruined, not only by the loss of our mother, but by the loss of our stepfather who we thought was a loving man.
Have you spoken with an attorney or thought about getting power of attorney or guardianship? If her friends are telling you she's not being cared for properly, maybe you should make a surprise visit and check things out. If what they are telling you is true, it might be time to get adult protection services involved and take legal action to remove your mother from his care. I'm pretty sure that refusing medical care for an elderly person is illegal, and is considered abuse.
If it were my mother, the first thing I'd think is maybe he has a life insurance policy on her or a girlfriend, and he doesn't want her to get better. Why else would he refuse treatment for her? Please don't be angry at me for saying that, but that's just how my mind works! lol I always assume the worst.
You have legitimate reasons to be concerned for your mother's health and safety. Please speak with APS or a lawyer, or both, and find out what you can do.
Best of luck.
Have you spoken with an attorney or thought about getting power of attorney or guardianship? If her friends are telling you she's not being cared for properly, maybe you should make a surprise visit and check things out. If what they are telling you is true, it might be time to get adult protection services involved and take legal action to remove your mother from his care. I'm pretty sure that refusing medical care for an elderly person is illegal, and is considered abuse.
If it were my mother, the first thing I'd think is maybe he has a life insurance policy on her or a girlfriend, and he doesn't want her to get better. Why else would he refuse treatment for her? Please don't be angry at me for saying that, but that's just how my mind works! lol I always assume the worst.
You have legitimate reasons to be concerned for your mother's health and safety. Please speak with APS or a lawyer, or both, and find out what you can do.
Best of luck.
Thank you for your insight. Unfortunately I think a lawyer would tell us there's nothing we can do legally. It's not that our stepfather is totally refusing medical care, he just isn't being proactive in providing everything she needs to ensure she progresses. He provides her the bare minimum.
Our mother is not being set up for success. The amount of therapy she receives from Medicare is minimal (only 2-3 days per week for speech therapy,etc.). She has severe aphasia and should to be worked with daily.
You're right,maybe it would be worth speaking with APS to get advice on how to deal with this situation.
Thank you for your insight. Unfortunately I think a lawyer would tell us there's nothing we can do legally. It's not that our stepfather is totally refusing medical care, he just isn't being proactive in providing everything she needs to ensure she progresses. He provides her the bare minimum.
Our mother is not being set up for success. The amount of therapy she receives from Medicare is minimal (only 2-3 days per week for speech therapy,etc.). She has severe aphasia and should to be worked with daily.
You're right,maybe it would be worth speaking with APS to get advice on how to deal with this situation.