need to let off some steam!
I have posted here before, it's probably been at least a year or two ago. My mom lives with us. She is 85 and has been legally blind for 10 years. She is almost totally blind now and extremely hard of hearing. She is sweet, kind, generous and thankful. I have nothing to complain about and yet I feel like I could just flip out. I am weary of having to fix meals for someone who can't do it for themselves, 3 times a day. I have to take care of all her affairs,doctor appointments, hair cuts, pedicures, manicures, shop, clean, wash and iron...everything for her. Thankfully except for showering, she can take care of her own hygiene. My husband is wonderfully supportive, helps out too and even cares for her a couple times a year so I can go away for a few days. I am due for a 4 day trip in 2 weeks. I should be fine. I am not. I don't want to vent with my adult children, or my husband, because they are already doing all they can. I just need to 'talk' to some faceless people who understand how this feels. I find myself wondering, how long will she live? Isn't that awful? One day she'll be gone and I know I will hate myself for having thought these things. We are American but live in Europe and have for 24 years. Amazingly enough mom was given residency too. We have a great social network, her insurance is excellent. She only has a little money left in the US and because the dollar is so weak I hesitate to have her bring more money over here so that we can hire someone to regularly help me out. But I am considering it. I feel like I have to have someone who will come regularly, fix her meals, shower her, and let me pretend for a day that I have my life back. Thanks for 'listening'!