almost 2 years ago
DolphinsCry
said...
how to DISCRETELY find nursing home costs?
Title sums it up.
Mom is on a cane. I've got a lifting restriction. We're trying to take care of a very mean and hateful old woman who is in a wheelchair. We really have a hard time taking care of her as it is.
How do we discretely find out nursing home costs?
If it's any help, she has Blue Cross/Blue Shield and Medicare.
Thanks for any input!
To expand:
She is in a wheelchair. She needs to be pushed to the bathroom, etc. She needs assistance getting in and out of chair.
Special meal requirements. She will only eat certain foods, so she will not go with a nursing homes menu.
Independent Living Facility is totally out of the question.
To expand:
She is in a wheelchair. She needs to be pushed to the bathroom, etc. She needs assistance getting in and out of chair.
Special meal requirements. She will only eat certain foods, so she will not go with a nursing homes menu.
Independent Living Facility is totally out of the question.
Have you considered Assisted Living? My mom loves the one she's in and the staff is wonderful. Mom was very grouchy while living with us because we had to keep on an eye on her 24/7, but in the ALF she has room to roam around, her own little apartment, activities, etc. If she doesn't like a certain meal they will prepare something else for her (within limits). The ALF my mom is in costs $3,000 a month and considering all that's provided, I call it a bargain! My mom is much nicer now and we get together several times a week. The great staff encouraged mom to do things that I never thought she would, but now she's having fun! I thank God every day for AL because it turned out to be the best solution for all of us.
(All of the ALF's here are self-pay, but there are VA benefits for wives of veterans.)
Have you considered Assisted Living? My mom loves the one she's in and the staff is wonderful. Mom was very grouchy while living with us because we had to keep on an eye on her 24/7, but in the ALF she has room to roam around, her own little apartment, activities, etc. If she doesn't like a certain meal they will prepare something else for her (within limits). The ALF my mom is in costs $3,000 a month and considering all that's provided, I call it a bargain! My mom is much nicer now and we get together several times a week. The great staff encouraged mom to do things that I never thought she would, but now she's having fun! I thank God every day for AL because it turned out to be the best solution for all of us.
(All of the ALF's here are self-pay, but there are VA benefits for wives of veterans.)
I have a different situation than Krikey. I'm in a battle with my brother, who has guardianship of our Mother, about Mom's living with me instead of an institution. I can take much better care of my mother than anyone else. Mother loves my cooking and I give her fresh fruit every day, use and serve grain fed chicken eggs, 1% instead of 2% milk, and reduced salt vegetables. I also minimize red meat and high cholesterol foods. I take her outside for sun and occupational therapy. There is one short comming that I'm working on, is a physical show of love.
I have a different situation than Krikey. I'm in a battle with my brother, who has guardianship of our Mother, about Mom's living with me instead of an institution. I can take much better care of my mother than anyone else. Mother loves my cooking and I give her fresh fruit every day, use and serve grain fed chicken eggs, 1% instead of 2% milk, and reduced salt vegetables. I also minimize red meat and high cholesterol foods. I take her outside for sun and occupational therapy. There is one short comming that I'm working on, is a physical show of love.
Thanks for the info.
I really don't know about Assisted Living though, as she cannot get around on her own.
Her meals are very reasonable exceptions: Breakfast is prunes, toast, coffee, OJ. Dinner is 2 cheese sandwiches on rye.
Thanks for the info.
I really don't know about Assisted Living though, as she cannot get around on her own.
Her meals are very reasonable exceptions: Breakfast is prunes, toast, coffee, OJ. Dinner is 2 cheese sandwiches on rye.
At my Mom's ALF there are many people in wheelchairs. They have aids to help with dressing, ambulation, etc. You can always call one and take a tour if you like. Go by yourself the first time and they will explain about what they do (and don't do).
At my Mom's ALF there are many people in wheelchairs. They have aids to help with dressing, ambulation, etc. You can always call one and take a tour if you like. Go by yourself the first time and they will explain about what they do (and don't do).
I tried taking care of my mom here, but I also care for my 4 year old granddaughter while her mom works. My mom has dementia and the two of them did not get along at all. I was also wasn't able to sleep at night because my mom was up at all hours and I was terrified that she'd leave the house. She wasn't happy here either because she felt there was too much noise and confusion. I think your mom is a very fortunate woman, and I can't understand why your brother wouldn't want her to remain with you. It sounds like you're a very loving son and take very good care of her.
I tried taking care of my mom here, but I also care for my 4 year old granddaughter while her mom works. My mom has dementia and the two of them did not get along at all. I was also wasn't able to sleep at night because my mom was up at all hours and I was terrified that she'd leave the house. She wasn't happy here either because she felt there was too much noise and confusion. I think your mom is a very fortunate woman, and I can't understand why your brother wouldn't want her to remain with you. It sounds like you're a very loving son and take very good care of her.
I'll start making appointments after the holidays. I know we have a lot of options out here.
I'll start making appointments after the holidays. I know we have a lot of options out here.
It can't hurt to check them out. Best of luck to you!
It can't hurt to check them out. Best of luck to you!
We recently did a lot of research before moving my FIL close by. Start with google: "assisted living" and your city or area. We found that some facilities will give you a price range over the phone, others want you to visit and will tell you the prices then. In general, I found the less transparent places to be less interesting once we did visit.
We recently did a lot of research before moving my FIL close by. Start with google: "assisted living" and your city or area. We found that some facilities will give you a price range over the phone, others want you to visit and will tell you the prices then. In general, I found the less transparent places to be less interesting once we did visit.
We found a Senior Services book at a restaurant chain that is frequented by seniors in our city. It had the different types of facilities by category. Services and price ranges were listed. Of course when you start to enroll someone there are personal services charges depending on the amount of assistance needed. Since you do not have to have a secure (locked) facility, the cost may be less. We moved my dad to two different AL facilities before we found a good fit for him and us. This lasted 3 years until he needed increased care. Be careful about signing a contract too soon. They require 30 days notice no matter why you are moving out. Some will let you have a trial period. (My grand dad decided during the trial period that he could be nicer to my aunt, if she would let him come home)
We found a Senior Services book at a restaurant chain that is frequented by seniors in our city. It had the different types of facilities by category. Services and price ranges were listed. Of course when you start to enroll someone there are personal services charges depending on the amount of assistance needed. Since you do not have to have a secure (locked) facility, the cost may be less. We moved my dad to two different AL facilities before we found a good fit for him and us. This lasted 3 years until he needed increased care. Be careful about signing a contract too soon. They require 30 days notice no matter why you are moving out. Some will let you have a trial period. (My grand dad decided during the trial period that he could be nicer to my aunt, if she would let him come home)
I AM LOOK FOR GOOD HOME CARE CAN TAKE CARE ME GOOD CANT DRIVE MYSELF WHEN SICK BAD OR COME GET ME DOCTOR SAID I CANT DRIVE MYSELF BACK HOME. IF I NEED SOME ONES TAKE ME OUT CLINIC IF I NEED TAKE. MY COUSIN BE TAKE ME OUT CLINIC BUT HE CANT DO ALL TIME HE GOT OWN PROBLEM NEED TAKE CARE OF. I DO WORK PART TIME IN HUMBLE TX FOR SCHOOL. I DO GET SICK MOST TIME. I CAN PROOF IT MY HEALTH IS BAD BY DOCTOR. HUMBLE I.S.D THINK DO HARD WORK BECAUSE HEALTH. DCOTOR MRS MICHELL LAGELL 281-348-3335 JUST ASK FOR HER SHE TELL YOU MY HEALTH START GET BAD. I LIKE FIND HOME CAN COOK GOOD AND LISTER TO MY DOCTOR WHAT FOOD I CAN. I CAN PAY $550 OR $600 MONTH. I NEED SOME HELP TO FIND WAY TO PAY ALL DOCTORSS BILL HOSPITALSS BILL AND OTHER BILL. I GET S.S CHECK EVERY MONTH. MY COUSIN GET S.S CHECK TO PAY RENT AND ALL BILL. CHESTER STEWART HOME 281-444-6587 CELL 281-851-5510. MY CELL PHONE IS 832-352-8161. I AM LOOK FOR GOOD HONEST HOME DONE STEAL FROM ME OR TAKE MONEY. I LIKE HAVE ROOM BYSELF BECAUSE I AM WORK FOR HUMBLE IS.D. I LIKE FIND ONE REALLY CLOSE BY HUMBLE TX SO I SAVE SOME GAS MONEY
I AM LOOK FOR GOOD HOME CARE CAN TAKE CARE ME GOOD CANT DRIVE MYSELF WHEN SICK BAD OR COME GET ME DOCTOR SAID I CANT DRIVE MYSELF BACK HOME. IF I NEED SOME ONES TAKE ME OUT CLINIC IF I NEED TAKE. MY COUSIN BE TAKE ME OUT CLINIC BUT HE CANT DO ALL TIME HE GOT OWN PROBLEM NEED TAKE CARE OF. I DO WORK PART TIME IN HUMBLE TX FOR SCHOOL. I DO GET SICK MOST TIME. I CAN PROOF IT MY HEALTH IS BAD BY DOCTOR. HUMBLE I.S.D THINK DO HARD WORK BECAUSE HEALTH. DCOTOR MRS MICHELL LAGELL 281-348-3335 JUST ASK FOR HER SHE TELL YOU MY HEALTH START GET BAD. I LIKE FIND HOME CAN COOK GOOD AND LISTER TO MY DOCTOR WHAT FOOD I CAN. I CAN PAY $550 OR $600 MONTH. I NEED SOME HELP TO FIND WAY TO PAY ALL DOCTORSS BILL HOSPITALSS BILL AND OTHER BILL. I GET S.S CHECK EVERY MONTH. MY COUSIN GET S.S CHECK TO PAY RENT AND ALL BILL. CHESTER STEWART HOME 281-444-6587 CELL 281-851-5510. MY CELL PHONE IS 832-352-8161. I AM LOOK FOR GOOD HONEST HOME DONE STEAL FROM ME OR TAKE MONEY. I LIKE HAVE ROOM BYSELF BECAUSE I AM WORK FOR HUMBLE IS.D. I LIKE FIND ONE REALLY CLOSE BY HUMBLE TX SO I SAVE SOME GAS MONEY
Thanks for all the tips!
Thanks for all the tips!
there is an internet free site called " a Place for Mom" was a great help for me, they do all the work and work with you in your pay range.
there is an internet free site called " a Place for Mom" was a great help for me, they do all the work and work with you in your pay range.
dooski...thank you! Will check that site out :)
dooski...thank you! Will check that site out :)