then, now and friends
Hi
I was a care attendant for 20 years. First for my parents until they passed and my ex for 8 out of 16 years (new wife deals with him now). For the last 5 years due t trying to stop a mini van with my hip in a cross walk, i have needed my own attendant (and ppl think docs make bad patients lol).
Anyway having no real family left a brave friend of mine took up the challeng. He has gone beyond the call of friendship many many times. (and is the only one i know who can pick up my wide load when i fall)
Ok now you have the basics here are the questions.
Is there anyway besides adult adoption or marriage(he is ten years younger then i) to allow for the benifits that family members can recieve? (he is 24hr care livein).
Is there any type of medical coverage that he can get? He makes 320 dollars a month for me, and cannot get an outside job with few hrs he can actually get free.
If i can get in an assisted/senior/disabled housing would he be able to still live with me? (part of my medical issues include emotional, which is why doc said i shouldnt live alone, oh and i am only 40 so getting help has been hell to say the least)
Guess i will leave it at that for now as i really dont want to make all your eyes bleed from all my chatter:)
Thanks for your time, patients, and answers.
then, now and friends
Hi
I was a care attendant for 20 years. First for my parents until they passed and my ex for 8 out of 16 years (new wife deals with him now). For the last 5 years due t trying to stop a mini van with my hip in a cross walk, i have needed my own attendant (and ppl think docs make bad patients lol).
Anyway having no real family left a brave friend of mine took up the challeng. He has gone beyond the call of friendship many many times. (and is the only one i know who can pick up my wide load when i fall)
Ok now you have the basics here are the questions.
Is there anyway besides adult adoption or marriage(he is ten years younger then i) to allow for the benifits that family members can recieve? (he is 24hr care livein).
Is there any type of medical coverage that he can get? He makes 320 dollars a month for me, and cannot get an outside job with few hrs he can actually get free.
If i can get in an assisted/senior/disabled housing would he be able to still live with me? (part of my medical issues include emotional, which is why doc said i shouldnt live alone, oh and i am only 40 so getting help has been hell to say the least)
Guess i will leave it at that for now as i really dont want to make all your eyes bleed from all my chatter:)
Thanks for your time, patients, and answers.
Hi, Amithist!
Are you eligible for Medicaid? If so, you may be eligible for having your caregiver paid. Check this search list here and maybe that will help.
http://www.caring.com/search?query=getting+paid+for+caregiving
Hi, Amithist!
Are you eligible for Medicaid? If so, you may be eligible for having your caregiver paid. Check this search list here and maybe that will help.
http://www.caring.com/search?query=getting+paid+for+caregiving
What about marriage or, depending on your state and/or city, a civil union or domestic partnership might provide the benefits you're looking for? I'm not sure....just thought I'd throw that out there!
What about marriage or, depending on your state and/or city, a civil union or domestic partnership might provide the benefits you're looking for? I'm not sure....just thought I'd throw that out there!
my broter died 3 years ago motercycle accident .mom ws alredy showing violent signs of dementia i moved in and out of parents home from oct 2011 to final move 0n feb 2011. no one helped me he was barely speaking to me then because he want to abandon them at that time. i had 3 dogs i brought them oneash move im chronically disabeled to. have requeseted help from caseworker dhs, legal aid the list goes on everyone seems to give me a new number about my new situation of daddys worsen health and dementia. im doing the best i can considering my pain my emotional health and all the paper work carging requires as well as for my own cares. dad has become abusive physically at times toward me he threatens to do things to my transportation he leaves stove on occasionally. he has aid and attendance thru va which i applied for i am recently applly for his choices application. ive had to call metro police 2 times on him, he gets me so nervous i cant concentrat on his paper work so after his bills were paid this month i gave my brother 250 dollars to care for him his food stamps 44 dollars. im only one to take him to see mom in symrna tn at mayfild rehab and ive ordered all his meds and gotten him to all his doctor appointments. when i moved in i had alredy helped parents with groceris ,transpotation to places and doctors since about 2006 chased mom down everynight with no help so after recent police calls from me and calls i made to mobile crises APS is visiting me and i feel insulted and unappreciated excuse me but i ve done te best ican and am able to do including this letter for him . he talks to me like im nothing. Ihelped him apply for metro action, weaterzaton,fema1909, recently emergency rehab thru mdha and he threatens to throw me out and tell people im abusing him so i mostly stress and cry wondering were i will live if i have to move out in the cold. momis not able to discuss this im both of them poa and seemingly have hurt myself trying to love them. so presently brent reeve the aps man i believe has prompted my brother and his wife to help he is over there now i took him to see mom yesterday but on way home he started again.dec 7 2011 a cousins wife was killed in car wreck his side of family he didnt want me to go to pulaski with him because he is ashamed he say of me being gay,but he is really afraid i will tell his family about my physical, sexual, and religous abuse on me and mom since early childhood im still struggling with post tramatic stress. i took hi bac to my brothers and cryed a lot last night and i am seeing a doctor for my mental illness who had already told me to start caring for me, i think dad should be in nursing home. but if bubba does it now why do they have to be payed i wasnt. i only payed them because i dont want him saying im taking his money.WHat are my legal avenues and thanks for letting me vent. Im so tierd in pain grieving neglecting my health for theres all unappreciated. all he says to me is i wish i had 100 arms to pat u on the back.he keeps voicing how he wants to make my funeral payments so he can get me buried. that hurts i want flowers while im living.Last week lucinda from legal aid said she wound send a list of when to come. its cold im sick and tired of going in a circle. WWhat shoud i do im totally permantly disabled too but i have no one no children, im alone im tired isnt time he go to nursing home thats what dr finney wrote when she wrote me a letter to apply fo conservatorship,legal aid didnt callthen.theres only so much a human can do on limited income before they collapse. thank god for my moms 2 sisters wilma upchurch and doris durham ive cried too much on there sholders ther sick and disabled too. please let liz maxwell read this and call me because thats what shawn richardson VA social worker suggested tey do too is get him LTC its time and not long for me too. I have fibromanalgia,postramatic stress fromm childhood abuse, agorphobia,bipolar disorder, high blood, high closterol,nuropathy,back surgery my exta help payed 14000+ for meds this year so far.Ihave psordiac atheritis, liver problems hyieatal hernia,panic attacks and copd and this is getting to much do do when it comes to taking abuse from daddy any longer. i plan to call a navagator for me from healthsprings i am getting sick because of the cold wheather i make 2 much for medicaid. my parents as well as myself fell into the tennessee class daniels lawsuit in2009 and lost our QMB. records are on file at fifty forward who gave the POA for both parents in late 2010 aroud october and thats with a durable provision . Im also the health care agent on file at veterans adminastration but no one listens to me. All i have now that loves me is my dogs i cant give up there real unconditional love and i miss spending time with ,im sotorn about what the right thing to do is and i cant do any better and go any faster than im going. why cant social workers do some of this paper work. i never leave home i dont have time unless its about business no personel life no social life and they keep saying care for yourself.HOW? i dont no what tv is i just pay the bill> well that is about it my number is [phone number removed] . callin the afternoon. im warmed up by then. merry xmas happy holidays! I must do the thing i think i can not do says e, roosevelt and i try not to let the things i cannot do get in the way of the things ican do but the roads gettin rough and the hills are getting hard to climb. Please help me if you can. this is deborah ann blade and im very glad i was able to communicate with you at this time on planet earth. Happy day!
my broter died 3 years ago motercycle accident .mom ws alredy showing violent signs of dementia i moved in and out of parents home from oct 2011 to final move 0n feb 2011. no one helped me he was barely speaking to me then because he want to abandon them at that time. i had 3 dogs i brought them oneash move im chronically disabeled to. have requeseted help from caseworker dhs, legal aid the list goes on everyone seems to give me a new number about my new situation of daddys worsen health and dementia. im doing the best i can considering my pain my emotional health and all the paper work carging requires as well as for my own cares. dad has become abusive physically at times toward me he threatens to do things to my transportation he leaves stove on occasionally. he has aid and attendance thru va which i applied for i am recently applly for his choices application. ive had to call metro police 2 times on him, he gets me so nervous i cant concentrat on his paper work so after his bills were paid this month i gave my brother 250 dollars to care for him his food stamps 44 dollars. im only one to take him to see mom in symrna tn at mayfild rehab and ive ordered all his meds and gotten him to all his doctor appointments. when i moved in i had alredy helped parents with groceris ,transpotation to places and doctors since about 2006 chased mom down everynight with no help so after recent police calls from me and calls i made to mobile crises APS is visiting me and i feel insulted and unappreciated excuse me but i ve done te best ican and am able to do including this letter for him . he talks to me like im nothing. Ihelped him apply for metro action, weaterzaton,fema1909, recently emergency rehab thru mdha and he threatens to throw me out and tell people im abusing him so i mostly stress and cry wondering were i will live if i have to move out in the cold. momis not able to discuss this im both of them poa and seemingly have hurt myself trying to love them. so presently brent reeve the aps man i believe has prompted my brother and his wife to help he is over there now i took him to see mom yesterday but on way home he started again.dec 7 2011 a cousins wife was killed in car wreck his side of family he didnt want me to go to pulaski with him because he is ashamed he say of me being gay,but he is really afraid i will tell his family about my physical, sexual, and religous abuse on me and mom since early childhood im still struggling with post tramatic stress. i took hi bac to my brothers and cryed a lot last night and i am seeing a doctor for my mental illness who had already told me to start caring for me, i think dad should be in nursing home. but if bubba does it now why do they have to be payed i wasnt. i only payed them because i dont want him saying im taking his money.WHat are my legal avenues and thanks for letting me vent. Im so tierd in pain grieving neglecting my health for theres all unappreciated. all he says to me is i wish i had 100 arms to pat u on the back.he keeps voicing how he wants to make my funeral payments so he can get me buried. that hurts i want flowers while im living.Last week lucinda from legal aid said she wound send a list of when to come. its cold im sick and tired of going in a circle. WWhat shoud i do im totally permantly disabled too but i have no one no children, im alone im tired isnt time he go to nursing home thats what dr finney wrote when she wrote me a letter to apply fo conservatorship,legal aid didnt callthen.theres only so much a human can do on limited income before they collapse. thank god for my moms 2 sisters wilma upchurch and doris durham ive cried too much on there sholders ther sick and disabled too. please let liz maxwell read this and call me because thats what shawn richardson VA social worker suggested tey do too is get him LTC its time and not long for me too. I have fibromanalgia,postramatic stress fromm childhood abuse, agorphobia,bipolar disorder, high blood, high closterol,nuropathy,back surgery my exta help payed 14000+ for meds this year so far.Ihave psordiac atheritis, liver problems hyieatal hernia,panic attacks and copd and this is getting to much do do when it comes to taking abuse from daddy any longer. i plan to call a navagator for me from healthsprings i am getting sick because of the cold wheather i make 2 much for medicaid. my parents as well as myself fell into the tennessee class daniels lawsuit in2009 and lost our QMB. records are on file at fifty forward who gave the POA for both parents in late 2010 aroud october and thats with a durable provision . Im also the health care agent on file at veterans adminastration but no one listens to me. All i have now that loves me is my dogs i cant give up there real unconditional love and i miss spending time with ,im sotorn about what the right thing to do is and i cant do any better and go any faster than im going. why cant social workers do some of this paper work. i never leave home i dont have time unless its about business no personel life no social life and they keep saying care for yourself.HOW? i dont no what tv is i just pay the bill> well that is about it my number is [phone number removed] . callin the afternoon. im warmed up by then. merry xmas happy holidays! I must do the thing i think i can not do says e, roosevelt and i try not to let the things i cannot do get in the way of the things ican do but the roads gettin rough and the hills are getting hard to climb. Please help me if you can. this is deborah ann blade and im very glad i was able to communicate with you at this time on planet earth. Happy day!
@deborahcrying, Thank you for sharing your experiences. We’re sorry to hear that you’re experiencing some worry about violence from loved ones.
To help ensure that you stay safe, please discuss these concerns with your father's doctor as soon as possible. Explain the potential danger, and ask the doctor to evaluate your loved one’s treatment plan (including drug regimen). If it’s an urgent situation, you may need the doctor’s or law enforcement’s help with arranging an involuntary hospitalization. The purpose of calling the police isn’t to “arrest” or punish your loved one, but instead to make sure he or she gets appropriate help as soon as possible.
Here are some related informational resources on Caring.com:
If you’d like to talk with someone about your concerns, you may call the Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline: 1.800.272.3900 You can find more information about the helpline here http://www.alz.org/we_can_help_24_7_helpline.asp[alz.org].
It’s better to get help than ignore the risk of violence. We hope this information is helpful to you and your loved ones, and that you will take action to stay safe.
You may also want to consider looking into caregiving help with your parents. Caring.com has a comprehensive Senior Living Directory with information about in-home care, assisted living, and nursing home providers in your area. You may find more information about providers close to you at www.caring.com/local You can also search for Geriatric Care Managers, Elder Law Attorney's and the Area Agency on Aging in your area through this link.
I hope this information helps you find the help you need to give care to you and your loved one. Don't hesitate to contact us if you need further assistance. We're happy to provide any information that may help you through your caregiving journey.
@deborahcrying, Thank you for sharing your experiences. We’re sorry to hear that you’re experiencing some worry about violence from loved ones.
To help ensure that you stay safe, please discuss these concerns with your father's doctor as soon as possible. Explain the potential danger, and ask the doctor to evaluate your loved one’s treatment plan (including drug regimen). If it’s an urgent situation, you may need the doctor’s or law enforcement’s help with arranging an involuntary hospitalization. The purpose of calling the police isn’t to “arrest” or punish your loved one, but instead to make sure he or she gets appropriate help as soon as possible.
Here are some related informational resources on Caring.com:
If you’d like to talk with someone about your concerns, you may call the Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline: 1.800.272.3900 You can find more information about the helpline here http://www.alz.org/we_can_help_24_7_helpline.asp[alz.org].
It’s better to get help than ignore the risk of violence. We hope this information is helpful to you and your loved ones, and that you will take action to stay safe.
You may also want to consider looking into caregiving help with your parents. Caring.com has a comprehensive Senior Living Directory with information about in-home care, assisted living, and nursing home providers in your area. You may find more information about providers close to you at www.caring.com/local You can also search for Geriatric Care Managers, Elder Law Attorney's and the Area Agency on Aging in your area through this link.
I hope this information helps you find the help you need to give care to you and your loved one. Don't hesitate to contact us if you need further assistance. We're happy to provide any information that may help you through your caregiving journey.