Oh Dawn, my heart goes out to you and her. huge hugs If you mom still undergoing treatment? If not, have you been in contact with a Hospice organization in your area? If you check out Caring.com's Local Section, you can search one out by zip code.

Sadly, it sounds like the end may be near, but the folks at Hospice are professionals. They know how to support your mom with medication and equipment to keep her comfortable and you by helping you emotionally. No matter how tough you are or if you're the rock in the family, this is really difficult.

Oh Dawn, my heart goes out to you and her. huge hugs If you mom still undergoing treatment? If not, have you been in contact with a Hospice organization in your area? If you check out Caring.com's Local Section, you can search one out by zip code.

Sadly, it sounds like the end may be near, but the folks at Hospice are professionals. They know how to support your mom with medication and equipment to keep her comfortable and you by helping you emotionally. No matter how tough you are or if you're the rock in the family, this is really difficult.

I'm very sorry to hear... Usually people who are nearing the end of life, don't want to eat and they feel when the end is nearing.. I would say, talk to her at night, tell her to take an eraser and erase her whole negative thoughts, and talk to her about positive things, and help her paint a new image in her head each night, she'll drift off =-) If your mom is religious, I would suggest the book 90 minutes in heaven, I'm going to give that book to my grandpa who is going through almost the same as your mom is... it explains heaven is as much detail as the guy is able to give... it might help your mom be at peace in her own mind.

Also, it will be very beneficial to you if you read it too...

I'm very sorry to hear... Usually people who are nearing the end of life, don't want to eat and they feel when the end is nearing.. I would say, talk to her at night, tell her to take an eraser and erase her whole negative thoughts, and talk to her about positive things, and help her paint a new image in her head each night, she'll drift off =-) If your mom is religious, I would suggest the book 90 minutes in heaven, I'm going to give that book to my grandpa who is going through almost the same as your mom is... it explains heaven is as much detail as the guy is able to give... it might help your mom be at peace in her own mind.

Also, it will be very beneficial to you if you read it too...

thank you both very much i dont feel quite alone

thank you both very much i dont feel quite alone

That was really great advice HLR. Thanks for posting it.

That was really great advice HLR. Thanks for posting it.

Smokey Dawn.....my Dad was diagnosed on 4 Nov 09 of Stage 4 lung cancer that had metastised to the bones--they gave him 12-15 months. 6 weeks later he was gone. My father's signs of the end were loss of energy, sleeping all the time, and no appetite. He didn't have the desire to do anything. I'm so sorry you are going through the same thing. It is very difficult and I was my father's only daughter, so we were very close. It was so hard to watch my strong masculine father just wither away to nothing, but this site helped to keep me sane. When he passed, the pain was unbearable and still is, at times. Contact Hospice or the doctor to increase the morphine--that will help the pain. Say whatever it is you need to say to your mother now and don't be afraid to show your pain--crying in front of them lets them know you care and will miss them. Keep telling her you love her and that it is OK to let go. Your mother will know how much you loved her and cared for her--just be there for her. I'll be praying for your mother and your family.

Smokey Dawn.....my Dad was diagnosed on 4 Nov 09 of Stage 4 lung cancer that had metastised to the bones--they gave him 12-15 months. 6 weeks later he was gone. My father's signs of the end were loss of energy, sleeping all the time, and no appetite. He didn't have the desire to do anything. I'm so sorry you are going through the same thing. It is very difficult and I was my father's only daughter, so we were very close. It was so hard to watch my strong masculine father just wither away to nothing, but this site helped to keep me sane. When he passed, the pain was unbearable and still is, at times. Contact Hospice or the doctor to increase the morphine--that will help the pain. Say whatever it is you need to say to your mother now and don't be afraid to show your pain--crying in front of them lets them know you care and will miss them. Keep telling her you love her and that it is OK to let go. Your mother will know how much you loved her and cared for her--just be there for her. I'll be praying for your mother and your family.

First I would like to say how sorry I am that you, your mom and your family are going through this ugly ugly thing.

My mom also had lung cancer that spread to her brain which caused a brain tumor. Doctors gave her the maximum 6 months to live and were not able to do anything that would help save her life. We still chose to do Radiation & Chemo. Of course that didn't work. She passed away within 5 months. I never thought I would live to see this happen. My mother was the strongest person I have ever known. I thought she would pull through it somehow. I was given power of attorney over her health, so it was up to me what would happen next. So, I was feeling a lot like you are...sad, mad and worst of all, helpless because I can't save her. I was at her bedside when she passed and it was the worst possible thing to go through. I was her baby so we had a strong relationship. I loved/love my mom more than life itself. It has been 5 years now and it still hurts, but not as much. It actually does get better with time.

Before she passed she was weak and disoriented. So, I am sorry to say your mom's time is probably near. All you can do is make her comfortable and keep telling her you love her. When it is time, you will also know, that is when you need to tell her that it is okay to let go. I did that with my mom. It was like she was hanging on because at first I had asked her to hang in there, but I was being selfish, she was in too much pain. I had asked to do this because I didn't want her to go. Once I realized this, I told her it was okay to let go, that we would all be okay. Not long after that she passed away.

So, just love her, be by her side and let her know that everything will be okay.

God bless you and help you though this.

First I would like to say how sorry I am that you, your mom and your family are going through this ugly ugly thing.

My mom also had lung cancer that spread to her brain which caused a brain tumor. Doctors gave her the maximum 6 months to live and were not able to do anything that would help save her life. We still chose to do Radiation & Chemo. Of course that didn't work. She passed away within 5 months. I never thought I would live to see this happen. My mother was the strongest person I have ever known. I thought she would pull through it somehow. I was given power of attorney over her health, so it was up to me what would happen next. So, I was feeling a lot like you are...sad, mad and worst of all, helpless because I can't save her. I was at her bedside when she passed and it was the worst possible thing to go through. I was her baby so we had a strong relationship. I loved/love my mom more than life itself. It has been 5 years now and it still hurts, but not as much. It actually does get better with time.

Before she passed she was weak and disoriented. So, I am sorry to say your mom's time is probably near. All you can do is make her comfortable and keep telling her you love her. When it is time, you will also know, that is when you need to tell her that it is okay to let go. I did that with my mom. It was like she was hanging on because at first I had asked her to hang in there, but I was being selfish, she was in too much pain. I had asked to do this because I didn't want her to go. Once I realized this, I told her it was okay to let go, that we would all be okay. Not long after that she passed away.

So, just love her, be by her side and let her know that everything will be okay.

God bless you and help you though this.

Dawn, First I am SO incredibly sorry for you are going thru.. I too am going thru something all to familiar. My mom was misdiagnosed for 3 months and finally last November it came to light she had a baseball size tumor into her upper shoulder area on her lung..Stage 3a- Her lobe was removed, radiated the site..and started a brutal chemo.. a chemo that put her in the hospital more than once.. and we came to find out.. it didnt workit all.. it spread throughtout her ribs.. and to her hip.. she suffers so much fromthe great painin her upper shoulder. She tried taxotere.. which seemed to keep the illness at bay for about 5 months... now it is beginning to grow.. she is in a constant state of disorient dueto the massive amounts of pain killers (phentanyl patches, oxi, morphine).. to keept her from that nawing pain. She is my best friend and it has become so sad and brutal to watch her in constant battle and withering away. On monday our onc. said he had another chemo. vinorelbine.. we could try.. she is now at stage 4 and the reality is hiting home. this is the most painful journey i have ever been on and im 28 and love my mom so.. but dont want to watch her quality of life be this anymore... it is so hard. my htoughts and prayers go out to all of you dealing/or have dealt with this brutal beast of disease xo

Dawn, First I am SO incredibly sorry for you are going thru.. I too am going thru something all to familiar. My mom was misdiagnosed for 3 months and finally last November it came to light she had a baseball size tumor into her upper shoulder area on her lung..Stage 3a- Her lobe was removed, radiated the site..and started a brutal chemo.. a chemo that put her in the hospital more than once.. and we came to find out.. it didnt workit all.. it spread throughtout her ribs.. and to her hip.. she suffers so much fromthe great painin her upper shoulder. She tried taxotere.. which seemed to keep the illness at bay for about 5 months... now it is beginning to grow.. she is in a constant state of disorient dueto the massive amounts of pain killers (phentanyl patches, oxi, morphine).. to keept her from that nawing pain. She is my best friend and it has become so sad and brutal to watch her in constant battle and withering away. On monday our onc. said he had another chemo. vinorelbine.. we could try.. she is now at stage 4 and the reality is hiting home. this is the most painful journey i have ever been on and im 28 and love my mom so.. but dont want to watch her quality of life be this anymore... it is so hard. my htoughts and prayers go out to all of you dealing/or have dealt with this brutal beast of disease xo

Oh Dawn, I can sympathize with you.. In lung cancer, the cancer builds a lot of blood clots.

My son, Kenney, was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer too, metastasized, and aggressive. He was given 3 to 6 month to live last August. The Dr. spoke to a Dr. who is a friend of ours and said he would not make it through to Christmas. We flew over to Fl from here in Germany where I live. I promised to return to him, and we sort of expected to meet as he lay in bed in a hospice. I wanted to hold him as he passed on. He had so much courage, but with me he showed how scared he was too. I told him I prayed that a blood clot would break lose and hit his heart so that his death would be really quick. He said he hoped so too.

Well on Sept 27 a clot did almost that, in a way it did better, It caused a stroke, but one in which he could not really speak well, but he could speak. I was able to speak with him on the phone and know that he heard me as he answered as best as he could. He did tell me he loved me. The next day he improved slightly.He was able to communicate at least to the whole family. Talking with my cousin he said "I do not want to live like this, my time is here and I am ready to go." The next day after have the chance to speak to everyone, he had another more massive stroke.The whole family, except for his sister and I here, were there by him as they took him off the ventilator. He died peacefully shortly after, Sept 30. He was very courageous up to the end. He was only 51, but he was happy that he had a whole extra year and got to be older than just 50. He also was spared a lot of pain. For me though, this is doubly sad, as we lost his older brother 3 years ago..He was only 54.. Life is very hard sometimes, but we all get through it. I will try to remember only the best of our times together..

Oh Dawn, I can sympathize with you.. In lung cancer, the cancer builds a lot of blood clots.

My son, Kenney, was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer too, metastasized, and aggressive. He was given 3 to 6 month to live last August. The Dr. spoke to a Dr. who is a friend of ours and said he would not make it through to Christmas. We flew over to Fl from here in Germany where I live. I promised to return to him, and we sort of expected to meet as he lay in bed in a hospice. I wanted to hold him as he passed on. He had so much courage, but with me he showed how scared he was too. I told him I prayed that a blood clot would break lose and hit his heart so that his death would be really quick. He said he hoped so too.

Well on Sept 27 a clot did almost that, in a way it did better, It caused a stroke, but one in which he could not really speak well, but he could speak. I was able to speak with him on the phone and know that he heard me as he answered as best as he could. He did tell me he loved me. The next day he improved slightly.He was able to communicate at least to the whole family. Talking with my cousin he said "I do not want to live like this, my time is here and I am ready to go." The next day after have the chance to speak to everyone, he had another more massive stroke.The whole family, except for his sister and I here, were there by him as they took him off the ventilator. He died peacefully shortly after, Sept 30. He was very courageous up to the end. He was only 51, but he was happy that he had a whole extra year and got to be older than just 50. He also was spared a lot of pain. For me though, this is doubly sad, as we lost his older brother 3 years ago..He was only 54.. Life is very hard sometimes, but we all get through it. I will try to remember only the best of our times together..

I am so sorry to hear about Lung Cancer and the deadly effects it has on people. My sister had stage 3, unoperatable lung cancer and went to UofM for clincial trial, she had chemo and raditation at the same time, its been 1 1/2 years and still shrinking. the doctors are amazed, her tumor was the size of a tennis ball and wrapped around her main artery. She then developed a brain tumor in March, she had her whole head radiated and her tumor is still shrinking, the doctors said it was dead. Im wondering why some people can get treatments and it works and others can't. My sister had her lung cancer for a year before being detected. She kept going to doctors until finally went to the UofM (university of Michigan).

I will say a prayer for all of you,take care...

I am so sorry to hear about Lung Cancer and the deadly effects it has on people. My sister had stage 3, unoperatable lung cancer and went to UofM for clincial trial, she had chemo and raditation at the same time, its been 1 1/2 years and still shrinking. the doctors are amazed, her tumor was the size of a tennis ball and wrapped around her main artery. She then developed a brain tumor in March, she had her whole head radiated and her tumor is still shrinking, the doctors said it was dead. Im wondering why some people can get treatments and it works and others can't. My sister had her lung cancer for a year before being detected. She kept going to doctors until finally went to the UofM (university of Michigan).

I will say a prayer for all of you,take care...