feeling very alone

just needing to vent... father, 72, diabetes, pacemaker, below the knee amputation, dialysis x3/wk, broken ribs, broken hip, feeding tubes, MRSA, mild dementia, incontinent, chf, unable to walk. has been in either hospital or ltcf since end of 2008 w/exception of two two-week stints @ home and last 6 months @ home.

mother, 70, copd/emphysema,fibromyalgia, arthritis, emotionally detached.

brother, in florida, unable and unwilling to help. is a teacher, didn't come to visit all summer.

me, 48, single, two dogs,was laid off from work 3 days before father's most recent inpatient hospitalization, have essentially moved in to take care of them. mom does the toileting end of things, i do 99% of the rest.

had issues w/health agencies & getting any type of reliable help. most recent trip to hosp in aug we leaned now has congestive heart failure, which is why he sleeps all the time, unless he is eating.

after hosp, he is officially in hospice care under the dx of aspiration pneumonia, which is covered by medicare. that provides a nurse weekly and a aide for bed baths x2/wk.

at times my father is demanding and rude and doesn't begin to grasp how difficult it is to take care of him. the hospice social worker is an idiot. was supposed to get me info about support groups and gave me three phone numbers to call. two places have no group and the third requires attending an orientation session first. i do not have time for that.

emotionally, i am all over the place. exhausted, resentful of my mother and the situation. pissed that she is detached 90% of the time. pissed at my brother. pissed at doctors, the medical system, hospitals, social workers, the tremendous difficulty in getting help, at having to jump through hooops and play the game, at anyone and everyone.

thanks for letting me vent.

feeling very alone

just needing to vent... father, 72, diabetes, pacemaker, below the knee amputation, dialysis x3/wk, broken ribs, broken hip, feeding tubes, MRSA, mild dementia, incontinent, chf, unable to walk. has been in either hospital or ltcf since end of 2008 w/exception of two two-week stints @ home and last 6 months @ home.

mother, 70, copd/emphysema,fibromyalgia, arthritis, emotionally detached.

brother, in florida, unable and unwilling to help. is a teacher, didn't come to visit all summer.

me, 48, single, two dogs,was laid off from work 3 days before father's most recent inpatient hospitalization, have essentially moved in to take care of them. mom does the toileting end of things, i do 99% of the rest.

had issues w/health agencies & getting any type of reliable help. most recent trip to hosp in aug we leaned now has congestive heart failure, which is why he sleeps all the time, unless he is eating.

after hosp, he is officially in hospice care under the dx of aspiration pneumonia, which is covered by medicare. that provides a nurse weekly and a aide for bed baths x2/wk.

at times my father is demanding and rude and doesn't begin to grasp how difficult it is to take care of him. the hospice social worker is an idiot. was supposed to get me info about support groups and gave me three phone numbers to call. two places have no group and the third requires attending an orientation session first. i do not have time for that.

emotionally, i am all over the place. exhausted, resentful of my mother and the situation. pissed that she is detached 90% of the time. pissed at my brother. pissed at doctors, the medical system, hospitals, social workers, the tremendous difficulty in getting help, at having to jump through hooops and play the game, at anyone and everyone.

thanks for letting me vent.