My husband was a vibrant, hardworking man. He loved life, people and above his family. It started with a back pain and no one could define the cause. a Cat scan was given their finding, a large tumor on his right kidney. The surgery was scheduled two months later and he had started loosing weight.Surgery was done, removal of kidney and a very large tumor. We thought that this was the end of cancer. There were lesions discovered in the lungs and liver. They were never diagnosed as Cancer, he remained very ill, loosing weight, no income, since he was self employed. Some family members were not supportive, because they did not believe us that we did not know.Constant office and hospital vistis. My husband died in the summer, mainly of a broken heart from his family and poor diagnosis from his physician. Now I am a grieving widow, who misses her soulmate and wonder, why he could not have helped.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away a few weeks ago and my mom is also a grieving widow. To be very honest, the word "widow" just made me cringe.
Through our healing process I just keep telling my mom and myself, "be kind to yourself." I'm offering the same advice to you.
We're here for you. And again, I'm just so sorry. *hugs*
It has been ten months since I became a widow. You find yourself doing alot of things alone. you prepare for one person, go to church alone and events that you and your husband would do. How do you cope with this and not feel so uncomfortable. Also, coming to your home at night alone, what do you do?
Hi Anonymous,
This is a good discussion topic, how does one cope?
I've created a new thread here for discussion. Please come join!
It's nomal to feel a lot of "what ifs" or guilt about what one or others "should have" or "should not have" done. I felt some of that when my wife died of cancer, after many years of illness and my caregiving. At the Well Spouse Association forum, http://wellspouse.org/forums[wellspouse.org] former well spouses write about their situations... all different, but similarities as well. Check it out.
I am very sorry for your loss. My husband died from a rare cancer called a liposarcoma. We had never heard of it when he was diagnosed, and we had to go to Houston for treatment we were happy with. My experience with cancer is that it can bring out the best in people and it can also bring out the worst. Sometimes, these people's actions hurt more than the cancer. Always remember you loved your husband, and he died knowing that. That's the most important thing. Are you finding any support? It's important that you do. The best advice I heard after Jay died was from another sarcoma widow. She told me to be gentle on myself. I am now passing that advice on to you. May God bless you.
Jayswife
For the celebrating of my husband's homegoing, one year this month,Family and friends across the US did some random act of kindness in his honor. Because my husband was such a giving person, he would have done those things any way, if he were here. For example, his nephews helped elderly couples with their grocery, one paid for a family to go to the movies, songs were dedicated on you-tube. I could go on and on, it was a great and kind gesture to help us cope with our lost.
My husband died of Retroproneal Liposarcoma,a rare cancer. he had two operations,clinical trials at Sloan Kettering,standard treatment of chemotherapy,nothing helped,complication after complication,and Sloan Kettering had no more answers,no more treatment advice,He was a fighter and believed in them. We had to go to Dr Linchitz,in glen cove long island ,to help my husband get strong enough,to survive his second operation,low dose chemotherapy and poly v vitamin infusion ,all weed him another year of life.... But this disease came back and took him from us so fast ,we did not even know he was dying. He was at peace and did not suffer,always had him on pain meds,Ativan to keep him relaxed and still hope until time was taken from him so fast My daughters and I miss him so much and the pain will not go away. We would of taken of him for the rest his life,because in between all his complications he had quality days and was always at comfort and with us always. May he rest in peace and watch over us now.May he live in our Hearts forever.
