The end stages of Alzheimer's is hell.
I have been receiving support from this site for a few years now, it has been like my second family to me and has kept me going strong. For years mom had been declining rather slowly, but the last three months there were huge changes. The last few weeks of her life she could only drink her ensure and swallow her medications ground up and mixed with apple sauce, when she could not do that any longer,not only was she actively dying ,but she had to go thru withdraws from years of alzheimer drugs. This lasted a few days till hospice and I decided to kept her totally sedated till she died, only comfort measures. Those were the worst days imaginable. I stayed awake and in prayer ever moment. It seemed so unfair that she had to go thru that, It was such a blessing when she died. Looking back now I guess having to keep her sedated was part of the blessing since I could finally get close to her and hold her and kiss her. For years what seemed like such a difficult time is now over and I am thankful for all the time I got to spend with her.
I love you Mom, I miss you, say Hi to Jesus and pops and watch out after all the care givers.
The end stages of Alzheimer's is hell.
I have been receiving support from this site for a few years now, it has been like my second family to me and has kept me going strong. For years mom had been declining rather slowly, but the last three months there were huge changes. The last few weeks of her life she could only drink her ensure and swallow her medications ground up and mixed with apple sauce, when she could not do that any longer,not only was she actively dying ,but she had to go thru withdraws from years of alzheimer drugs. This lasted a few days till hospice and I decided to kept her totally sedated till she died, only comfort measures. Those were the worst days imaginable. I stayed awake and in prayer ever moment. It seemed so unfair that she had to go thru that, It was such a blessing when she died. Looking back now I guess having to keep her sedated was part of the blessing since I could finally get close to her and hold her and kiss her. For years what seemed like such a difficult time is now over and I am thankful for all the time I got to spend with her.
I love you Mom, I miss you, say Hi to Jesus and pops and watch out after all the care givers.
i know exactly what you went thru,i am in the same place now with my mom,she has lived with me for 6 yrs now,since my dad died,i have siblings but they chose not to help,they want to put her in a home but i wont let them,so i care for her alone and never will regrete what i do for my mom,and what i did for my dad.i know its going to get harder so i need every ones prayers to make it thru,but im a surviver and i will survive this,i cant cure her alzheimers disease,but what time she has left i can make her live better and comfortable.
i know exactly what you went thru,i am in the same place now with my mom,she has lived with me for 6 yrs now,since my dad died,i have siblings but they chose not to help,they want to put her in a home but i wont let them,so i care for her alone and never will regrete what i do for my mom,and what i did for my dad.i know its going to get harder so i need every ones prayers to make it thru,but im a surviver and i will survive this,i cant cure her alzheimers disease,but what time she has left i can make her live better and comfortable.
Hugs to you both, sugargranny and pat109.
As many other people have said, Alzheimers'/dementia is a cruel disease. It seems to me it's more cruel to the family than to the afflicted.
Hugs to you both, sugargranny and pat109.
As many other people have said, Alzheimers'/dementia is a cruel disease. It seems to me it's more cruel to the family than to the afflicted.
my mother is in a nursing home but my brother is nearby. I am so grateful to the caregivers there. I know what you mean about finally being able to hug her and kiss her, she wouldn't let me do that when fully functioning. I wish the docs would reduce her meds as much as possible now so she doesn't have to go through withdrawal at the end. Hugs to all of you caregivers.
my mother is in a nursing home but my brother is nearby. I am so grateful to the caregivers there. I know what you mean about finally being able to hug her and kiss her, she wouldn't let me do that when fully functioning. I wish the docs would reduce her meds as much as possible now so she doesn't have to go through withdrawal at the end. Hugs to all of you caregivers.
Hugs to you!! My husband is 81. He stopped his medication- gabapentin, after he could no longer stand the dry mouth. After 5 weeks of nausea/vomiting, itching, twitching, etc, we realize he has been in drug withdrawal. Who knew!! Your mothers drug withdrawal symptoms are a heads up for the rest of us to watch for!! Very very tough for end-of-life care! But your sentiments are beautiful!
Hugs to you!! My husband is 81. He stopped his medication- gabapentin, after he could no longer stand the dry mouth. After 5 weeks of nausea/vomiting, itching, twitching, etc, we realize he has been in drug withdrawal. Who knew!! Your mothers drug withdrawal symptoms are a heads up for the rest of us to watch for!! Very very tough for end-of-life care! But your sentiments are beautiful!
My mom died in Decemnber at almost 90. She was totally healthy until she fell one day and broke 7 ribs, then got pneumonia. She chose to discontinue treatment for the pneumonia and have "comfort care" only, because she said she didn't want me having to come to the hospital every day and watch her cough all day and didn't want to go thru the inevitable rehab that would be required to get her up and moving again after a long hospital stay. She begged us to understand, and we did. the doctor was very nice about letting her have lots of morphine, and she died peacefully. It was such a gift she gave us. My father is very sad still, so I spend all my time worrying and thinking about ways to help him. I wish she were still here, but this is what she wanted. She was a very brave woman in a way. thanks for listening.
My mom died in Decemnber at almost 90. She was totally healthy until she fell one day and broke 7 ribs, then got pneumonia. She chose to discontinue treatment for the pneumonia and have "comfort care" only, because she said she didn't want me having to come to the hospital every day and watch her cough all day and didn't want to go thru the inevitable rehab that would be required to get her up and moving again after a long hospital stay. She begged us to understand, and we did. the doctor was very nice about letting her have lots of morphine, and she died peacefully. It was such a gift she gave us. My father is very sad still, so I spend all my time worrying and thinking about ways to help him. I wish she were still here, but this is what she wanted. She was a very brave woman in a way. thanks for listening.
I have experience that same thing as you are going thru now. We as individuals have to do what we can live with. I was left with overseeing my mother's care the last four years of her life. I did it and if I had to do it again I would. I have nothing but good thoughts as to the way in which I cared for my mother. I'm so glad God gave me the strength to care for her to the end. She took care of me when I was unable to take care of myself, she also helped my daughter with her child. This was just simply rotation. What goes around comes around. Thank you God for allowing me to complete this task for my dear mother. My granddaughter played an important part in my mother's life. She also did her best to help out with mother. Thank you granddaughter. Remember, there will come a time when they will become older and may need some help. Will her children help her? Or will they treat her as she treated her mother. INTERESTING!
I have experience that same thing as you are going thru now. We as individuals have to do what we can live with. I was left with overseeing my mother's care the last four years of her life. I did it and if I had to do it again I would. I have nothing but good thoughts as to the way in which I cared for my mother. I'm so glad God gave me the strength to care for her to the end. She took care of me when I was unable to take care of myself, she also helped my daughter with her child. This was just simply rotation. What goes around comes around. Thank you God for allowing me to complete this task for my dear mother. My granddaughter played an important part in my mother's life. She also did her best to help out with mother. Thank you granddaughter. Remember, there will come a time when they will become older and may need some help. Will her children help her? Or will they treat her as she treated her mother. INTERESTING!
My mother was diagnosed with alzheimers in September and it has been a fast decline for her. We decided that in home care 24 hours a day would be best for her. Her care givers are wonderful. She now sleeps sometimes for more than 30 hours with only waking up to drink and ensure. Is this sleeping normal?
My mother was diagnosed with alzheimers in September and it has been a fast decline for her. We decided that in home care 24 hours a day would be best for her. Her care givers are wonderful. She now sleeps sometimes for more than 30 hours with only waking up to drink and ensure. Is this sleeping normal?
Thank you all for your posts. It brings tears to my eyes, as I know I will also have to face this. My husband is 65 and in the middle stages of alz. he is in his 7th year. My heart breaks. You all give me strength.
Thank you all for your posts. It brings tears to my eyes, as I know I will also have to face this. My husband is 65 and in the middle stages of alz. he is in his 7th year. My heart breaks. You all give me strength.
My dad sleeps a great deal of the time also, unfortunately he wakes up in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping and wanders. His diet consist of ensure and a few bites of food occassionally. He is quite depressed from the loss of my mom (his wife of 63 years). I would love to bring my dad home, take care of him myself. My husband has cancer and he is dealing with that, it would be hard for him to have my dad here. From what I understand sleeping for many hours is 'normal'. If it were me I would want to sleep too :(
My dad sleeps a great deal of the time also, unfortunately he wakes up in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping and wanders. His diet consist of ensure and a few bites of food occassionally. He is quite depressed from the loss of my mom (his wife of 63 years). I would love to bring my dad home, take care of him myself. My husband has cancer and he is dealing with that, it would be hard for him to have my dad here. From what I understand sleeping for many hours is 'normal'. If it were me I would want to sleep too :(
CKP- sleeping can and can not be "normal". It can be a sign of depression (even those with dementia can be depressed), it could be a sign of anemia, a side effect of medication, abnormal thyroid levels, and so on. I would recommend discussing it with your mother's doctor as a 1st step.
Sending a cyber HUG to everyone here
CKP- sleeping can and can not be "normal". It can be a sign of depression (even those with dementia can be depressed), it could be a sign of anemia, a side effect of medication, abnormal thyroid levels, and so on. I would recommend discussing it with your mother's doctor as a 1st step.
Sending a cyber HUG to everyone here
My mother passed away on 4/24/10. Her final days were difficult for her and for my brother and I. My brother is on disability and I was laid off. As a result, we were able to become Mom's care givers. What a blessing! An aide came in every day to bath Mom in her bed. Mom was afraid to be moved. I used that time to hug Mom and comfort her while the aide bathed her. These are the small blessings that would not have been possible had I been working every day. When Mom passed away, my brother and I were on each side of her. Mom didn't want to be alone when she passed away and we were blessed to be there with her. She is at peace now with her whole mind and pain free! Hallelujah!
My mother passed away on 4/24/10. Her final days were difficult for her and for my brother and I. My brother is on disability and I was laid off. As a result, we were able to become Mom's care givers. What a blessing! An aide came in every day to bath Mom in her bed. Mom was afraid to be moved. I used that time to hug Mom and comfort her while the aide bathed her. These are the small blessings that would not have been possible had I been working every day. When Mom passed away, my brother and I were on each side of her. Mom didn't want to be alone when she passed away and we were blessed to be there with her. She is at peace now with her whole mind and pain free! Hallelujah!
Thank you for the inspiration.
Thank you for the inspiration.
Read my new book SWIMMING SOLO about Alzheimer's and my parents and in-laws all of whom died of it. Wishes and hugs and hopes for everyone caregiving during the end stage.
Susan Rava
Read my new book SWIMMING SOLO about Alzheimer's and my parents and in-laws all of whom died of it. Wishes and hugs and hopes for everyone caregiving during the end stage.
Susan Rava
I am still haunted by the nursing home MD who wanted my father to have a shunt put in his arm to give him fluids. He was only in the nurisng home after my mom did an amazing job of taking care of him at home. He would die four days later but I still regret that Hospice didn't work weekends so that by the time they came on Monday, the spasms he was experiencing on Sunday were gone. Why didn't we insist on sedating him? I worry that he was in needless pain. His ususal MD was on vacation and it we didn't feel we could get any help from the covering MD. It is so sad to see someone you loved so die a slow death.......
I am still haunted by the nursing home MD who wanted my father to have a shunt put in his arm to give him fluids. He was only in the nurisng home after my mom did an amazing job of taking care of him at home. He would die four days later but I still regret that Hospice didn't work weekends so that by the time they came on Monday, the spasms he was experiencing on Sunday were gone. Why didn't we insist on sedating him? I worry that he was in needless pain. His ususal MD was on vacation and it we didn't feel we could get any help from the covering MD. It is so sad to see someone you loved so die a slow death.......
Hi anonymous, I'm very sorry to hear about the experience you had with your father. Please consider sharing your story to help others in our End of Life group: http://www.caring.com/support-groups/end-of-life or Assisted Living group: http://www.caring.com/support-groups/assisted-living This conversation page you're on now is in the "Archived Conversations" area of support groups -- conversations that were carried over from our former discussion forums and may not have as many participants as the featured groups on the Support Groups homepage: http://www.caring.com/support-groups
You might also post feedback about the nursing home and hospice providers in our Senior Living Directory to help other families facing similiar difficult choices: http://www.caring.com/local Thank you again, and please don't hesitate to reach out as often as you need further assistance.
Hi anonymous, I'm very sorry to hear about the experience you had with your father. Please consider sharing your story to help others in our End of Life group: http://www.caring.com/support-groups/end-of-life or Assisted Living group: http://www.caring.com/support-groups/assisted-living This conversation page you're on now is in the "Archived Conversations" area of support groups -- conversations that were carried over from our former discussion forums and may not have as many participants as the featured groups on the Support Groups homepage: http://www.caring.com/support-groups
You might also post feedback about the nursing home and hospice providers in our Senior Living Directory to help other families facing similiar difficult choices: http://www.caring.com/local Thank you again, and please don't hesitate to reach out as often as you need further assistance.