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about 4 years ago
ckh said...

After years of this same problem, my husband contracted a urinary track infection and had a series of falls oe night. After 3 falls I called the ambulance. After 3 calls by the ambulance attedants he was taken to hospital. I refused to take him home ( I had had 8 years of sole caregiving) He is now in careand he is mad and unhappy. Sometimes it's hard--harder than I ever imagined but in my case--better to live with guilt than resentment. Don't make yourself sick-You can't be entirely responsible for his happiness and care. He has to help.

about 4 years ago
ra_23_Sept2014 said...

How about saying to him - "I heard what you said about your needs, but I need more help, so this is what I'm doing."

about 4 years ago

I put safety rails around the toilet, shower (Lowe's Building Center), a raised seat, bed rails, and an electric Scooter, etc. Since he choked on an oil laden shrimp (dysphagia), he's been given Provigil, and we're ordering an LSVT / Loud CD ($45).

about 4 years ago
hhm said...

This is exactly what I did. "I'm going out this afternoon, Sally is coming." No questions, no discussion. He often used to go up to his bedroom and didn't come down, but I decided that is his problem. Now we have a caregiver that he does like and although he always says, "Is he staying?" he knows that I am going out for awhile. I come back feeling better, and he knows that there is no discussion. The guilt: I am still working on but it is getting less and less, and he knows that I come back in a better, more cheerful and loving mood.

about 4 years ago
ra_23_Sept2014 said...

Good for you, Hmm! Two thumbs up d.b

almost 4 years ago
Gail 1001 said...

I agree!! Sometimes you have to force the issue for your own sanity. It's so difficult, but it's just like on the airplane when they say for you to take the oxygen mask first before putting it on your child. You're of no help to them if you're lacking oxygen!

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