What Social Security told me--are they correct?
My dad is legally blind, cirrohis(sp?) of the liver, dementia, heart problems, and is in a wheel chair.He's lived with me about 2 years. He gets a little over $800 in s.s. I'm the payee.
I was told twice by two different people at s.s. that the money has to be used for HIM only. They said I can hire SOMEONE ELSE to come in a clean and mop and pay that person from his s.s. check, but I can't pay myself. For the past 3 months, I've hired someone to come in and clean twice a week because I'm too tired.
I clean and bathe him when he poops on himself, clean his pee off the floor SEVERAL times a day, clean the poop out from under his fingernails, cut his nails, shave him, cut his hair, feed him like a baby, sleep on the couch if he isn't feeling well, stay awake ALL NIGHT if he's feeling really bad, take him to doctors appointments, take him for drives when he's bored, give him his meds, and I clean up after his little dog who often pees in the floor and tears up paper or something EVERY DAY.
And it's illegal to pay myself for doing these things, but legal to hire someone to come in and clean?
I'm overdrawn at the bank, and I think I'm behind on my student loan payments. A little extra money would sure be great.
Has anyone else been told they can't pay themself out of the s.s. check for taking in and caring for an elderly parent?
What Social Security told me--are they correct?
My dad is legally blind, cirrohis(sp?) of the liver, dementia, heart problems, and is in a wheel chair.He's lived with me about 2 years. He gets a little over $800 in s.s. I'm the payee.
I was told twice by two different people at s.s. that the money has to be used for HIM only. They said I can hire SOMEONE ELSE to come in a clean and mop and pay that person from his s.s. check, but I can't pay myself. For the past 3 months, I've hired someone to come in and clean twice a week because I'm too tired.
I clean and bathe him when he poops on himself, clean his pee off the floor SEVERAL times a day, clean the poop out from under his fingernails, cut his nails, shave him, cut his hair, feed him like a baby, sleep on the couch if he isn't feeling well, stay awake ALL NIGHT if he's feeling really bad, take him to doctors appointments, take him for drives when he's bored, give him his meds, and I clean up after his little dog who often pees in the floor and tears up paper or something EVERY DAY.
And it's illegal to pay myself for doing these things, but legal to hire someone to come in and clean?
I'm overdrawn at the bank, and I think I'm behind on my student loan payments. A little extra money would sure be great.
Has anyone else been told they can't pay themself out of the s.s. check for taking in and caring for an elderly parent?
What state are you in? There are programs that will do this if doctor orders it and he mets the requirements.
What state are you in? There are programs that will do this if doctor orders it and he mets the requirements.
Really? I live in Oklahoma.
Really? I live in Oklahoma.
I don't know about paying yourself, but if he is living with you, I don't see anything wrong with using some of the money to help pay household expenses. If his money pays, say the electric and gas, then that's less you have to pay. Make sense?
I don't know about paying yourself, but if he is living with you, I don't see anything wrong with using some of the money to help pay household expenses. If his money pays, say the electric and gas, then that's less you have to pay. Make sense?
Is he eligible for Medicaid? If so, you may be able to get funds from Medicaid to help pay you for caring for him. Check this page here and see if the answer from our Joe Matthews helps you. http://www.caring.com/questions/how-to-become-a-paid-caregiver
Is he eligible for Medicaid? If so, you may be able to get funds from Medicaid to help pay you for caring for him. Check this page here and see if the answer from our Joe Matthews helps you. http://www.caring.com/questions/how-to-become-a-paid-caregiver
I know in Georgia there is a gov't organization called Source and another which is better is called Community Care which the website is as follows: www.coastalccsp.com maybe you can find a link to OK. I have a friend living at Ft Smith, Arkansaw or howere you spell it. He should also apply for disability through his disability (blindness, etc) along with checking with your local Blindness State Facility. Hospice is a great place too if and when needed. They have caregivers respite programs which give you the caregiver a few days off (requirements needed). Just some thoughts from a disabled lady in Georgia.
I know in Georgia there is a gov't organization called Source and another which is better is called Community Care which the website is as follows: www.coastalccsp.com maybe you can find a link to OK. I have a friend living at Ft Smith, Arkansaw or howere you spell it. He should also apply for disability through his disability (blindness, etc) along with checking with your local Blindness State Facility. Hospice is a great place too if and when needed. They have caregivers respite programs which give you the caregiver a few days off (requirements needed). Just some thoughts from a disabled lady in Georgia.
The government doesn't operate in terms of "black and white", "right and wrong", or general common sense. To tell you that, as a caregiver, your father's SS is off limits is a government written "script"; as in a play. And, it's NOT true.
There's no track of how his SS is used any more than how I spend my SS. You're the payee, you're the caregiver. Do what you have to do to make sure your "entire" family is cared for. If you weren't there to care for him nursing homes would take his social security. If he wasn't so sever to be housed in a medical facility he'd be paying rent. So gee, ya think maybe a bit of help with the rent (mortgage) is out of order?
The government doesn't operate in terms of "black and white", "right and wrong", or general common sense. To tell you that, as a caregiver, your father's SS is off limits is a government written "script"; as in a play. And, it's NOT true.
There's no track of how his SS is used any more than how I spend my SS. You're the payee, you're the caregiver. Do what you have to do to make sure your "entire" family is cared for. If you weren't there to care for him nursing homes would take his social security. If he wasn't so sever to be housed in a medical facility he'd be paying rent. So gee, ya think maybe a bit of help with the rent (mortgage) is out of order?
I just saw all the replies. Thank you for your input.
I've changed the way I do things. If I can legally hire a stranger or someone I don't trust to come in and help with my dad and stay with him if I need to go anywhere, then I should be able to legally pay my husband, and that's what I started doing.
I pay him to watch my dad if I have to go anywhere, and I pay him to take my dad to the doctor. I also started taking 1/3 for the monthly bills, which I was told by s.s. I can do.
For 2 years I hardly took anything out of his check because I felt obligated to pay his doctor bills FIRST, and I've paid thousands. Not any more.
My husband and I care for my dad with no help from ANYONE else. It's not my husband's responsibility to care for and watch my dad, but he does because he's a decent person. After two years, I've started paying him for it.
I just saw all the replies. Thank you for your input.
I've changed the way I do things. If I can legally hire a stranger or someone I don't trust to come in and help with my dad and stay with him if I need to go anywhere, then I should be able to legally pay my husband, and that's what I started doing.
I pay him to watch my dad if I have to go anywhere, and I pay him to take my dad to the doctor. I also started taking 1/3 for the monthly bills, which I was told by s.s. I can do.
For 2 years I hardly took anything out of his check because I felt obligated to pay his doctor bills FIRST, and I've paid thousands. Not any more.
My husband and I care for my dad with no help from ANYONE else. It's not my husband's responsibility to care for and watch my dad, but he does because he's a decent person. After two years, I've started paying him for it.
That sounds reasonable to me!! Your hubby sounds like a good guy, helping out. Not many would do that for their own parents, let alone an in-law. Best of luck to you all
That sounds reasonable to me!! Your hubby sounds like a good guy, helping out. Not many would do that for their own parents, let alone an in-law. Best of luck to you all
I think you should also give your husband the biggest RAISE you are able to! I am a caregiver for my parents, also, and believe you should do what EVER you need to get you through this.
My thoughts/prayers are with you. Remember...this, too, shall pass.
Hugs.
I think you should also give your husband the biggest RAISE you are able to! I am a caregiver for my parents, also, and believe you should do what EVER you need to get you through this.
My thoughts/prayers are with you. Remember...this, too, shall pass.
Hugs.
We also live in Oklahoma. I have went thru DHS and got help that comes in 3 days per week, 7 hrs total per week. She helps with baths, dressing, also is suppose to make bed, change once a week or as needed, do laundry, run errands, etc. Works pretty good. We haven't saw anyone since our recent move, so Monday I am going to change companys if no one shows up. They also bring him frozen dinners. Helps on grocery bill. Hugs and prayers your way, everyday. Love ya, Ruth
We also live in Oklahoma. I have went thru DHS and got help that comes in 3 days per week, 7 hrs total per week. She helps with baths, dressing, also is suppose to make bed, change once a week or as needed, do laundry, run errands, etc. Works pretty good. We haven't saw anyone since our recent move, so Monday I am going to change companys if no one shows up. They also bring him frozen dinners. Helps on grocery bill. Hugs and prayers your way, everyday. Love ya, Ruth