The ups and downs of later dementia
My father, age 86, has stage 6 mixed Lewy Body/Alzheimer's dementia. He has been on hospice care since early November. He lives in a memory unit within an assisted living facility. Over the past year he has declined dramatically both mentally and physically. While this is heartbreaking enough, recently (over the past month or so) he has become much stronger physically and much more often alert and oriented mentally. Today he even introduced me as his daughter, which he hasn't done in more than 9 months. The problem is that in this state he is so much more aware of his decline, and gets very very sad, tearful, says he misses me a lot, becomes despondent over the loss of function and ability. I've asked hospice to arrange for an anti-depressant, but I am turning to this site to ask for emotional support because it is SO painful. Even though he was not a great father, and we didn't have a terrific relationship, I do love him and hate seeing him in such pain. I try to just hug him and let him know he's not alone, but don't know what else to do. Maybe there is nothing to do.
The ups and downs of later dementia
My father, age 86, has stage 6 mixed Lewy Body/Alzheimer's dementia. He has been on hospice care since early November. He lives in a memory unit within an assisted living facility. Over the past year he has declined dramatically both mentally and physically. While this is heartbreaking enough, recently (over the past month or so) he has become much stronger physically and much more often alert and oriented mentally. Today he even introduced me as his daughter, which he hasn't done in more than 9 months. The problem is that in this state he is so much more aware of his decline, and gets very very sad, tearful, says he misses me a lot, becomes despondent over the loss of function and ability. I've asked hospice to arrange for an anti-depressant, but I am turning to this site to ask for emotional support because it is SO painful. Even though he was not a great father, and we didn't have a terrific relationship, I do love him and hate seeing him in such pain. I try to just hug him and let him know he's not alone, but don't know what else to do. Maybe there is nothing to do.
He is lucky to have you as a daughter. I am sorry you are losing him, and what you may see as your chance to have a "great father." I too , am sorry he has such pain, but it is part of his disease, not from you...My hubby has dementia of the |Alz type, but it could have been with the Lewy sort, he drinks a lot now though after having stopped for years. I think it is now due to his fears and confusions....With your father, he is getting some clearness, and though he may notice more what is wrong with him, he is also more able to appreciate having had you..that should help you feel a bit better...
He is lucky to have you as a daughter. I am sorry you are losing him, and what you may see as your chance to have a "great father." I too , am sorry he has such pain, but it is part of his disease, not from you...My hubby has dementia of the |Alz type, but it could have been with the Lewy sort, he drinks a lot now though after having stopped for years. I think it is now due to his fears and confusions....With your father, he is getting some clearness, and though he may notice more what is wrong with him, he is also more able to appreciate having had you..that should help you feel a bit better...
Lewy Body is tough. Worse than regular Alzheimer's, and the early stage when people know what is happening to them is the worst. My heart aches for you and your dad. If they allow it on this site, I would recommend you to another site - dementiacaresecrets.com, they have several videos on Lewy Body, and they cater to early stage diagnosis. There are two people that write beautifully about what they are going through. One is named Dallas, and they have some of her poetry on the site, and Normm from England writes beautifully.
They both know they have dementia, and express it well. I think they would welcome it if you reached out to them for advice.
Donahue Vanderhider,
Lewy Body is tough. Worse than regular Alzheimer's, and the early stage when people know what is happening to them is the worst. My heart aches for you and your dad. If they allow it on this site, I would recommend you to another site - dementiacaresecrets.com, they have several videos on Lewy Body, and they cater to early stage diagnosis. There are two people that write beautifully about what they are going through. One is named Dallas, and they have some of her poetry on the site, and Normm from England writes beautifully.
They both know they have dementia, and express it well. I think they would welcome it if you reached out to them for advice.
Donahue Vanderhider,
Charlotte ALIG - thanks so much for the kind support. It helps.
Donahue - I appreciate your referral to your dementiacaresecrets.com website. I have trouble with signing up for a site without being able to see what I will get for signing up. But that may just be me! My father is not in early stage dementia. He is actually in stage 6 and in hospice care, just experiencing a weird resurgence of alertness. I have seen this in non-dementia hospice patients, where they rally with great energy for a period before their death, so maybe that is what is happening to him.
Thanks again to both of you for responding.
Charlotte ALIG - thanks so much for the kind support. It helps.
Donahue - I appreciate your referral to your dementiacaresecrets.com website. I have trouble with signing up for a site without being able to see what I will get for signing up. But that may just be me! My father is not in early stage dementia. He is actually in stage 6 and in hospice care, just experiencing a weird resurgence of alertness. I have seen this in non-dementia hospice patients, where they rally with great energy for a period before their death, so maybe that is what is happening to him.
Thanks again to both of you for responding.
I would never suggest someone blindly join a site. that link is only the home page that describes the site. but never mind. good luck to you. DV
I would never suggest someone blindly join a site. that link is only the home page that describes the site. but never mind. good luck to you. DV