Same questions/concerns over and over everyday .....
My husband (82 yrs old) has mild-moderate Alzheimer's. He is a retired banker (15+ yrs ago) and in his younger years worked 3 jobs at once to help make ends meet.
Recently, in the past few months, he wakes each morning and asks me what time is it? Am I late for work? I usually say it is Saturday and he goes back to sleep. Or I will say "you are retired" ... he will say "are you sure?" Then through the morning we go over the same questions two or three times ...."am I getting my social security check each month?" "why is the hedge all the way round the yard dieing? "have we done our taxes this year?" Another concern, of mine, he gets on the computer - fills out forms for everything under the sun, we get calls all the time for something he has ask for - like refinancing our home, which we did back in October.
I've typed out most of the questions and answers in large letters and put them on the frig - when he asks I say... go look on the frig ... he thinks thats neat that the answers are there for him to look at any time .......
I was wondering does anyone else have this sort of problem - do you have any other ideas that may help?
Thanks for a place to vent ....! A Loving Wife .....
Same questions/concerns over and over everyday .....
My husband (82 yrs old) has mild-moderate Alzheimer's. He is a retired banker (15+ yrs ago) and in his younger years worked 3 jobs at once to help make ends meet.
Recently, in the past few months, he wakes each morning and asks me what time is it? Am I late for work? I usually say it is Saturday and he goes back to sleep. Or I will say "you are retired" ... he will say "are you sure?" Then through the morning we go over the same questions two or three times ...."am I getting my social security check each month?" "why is the hedge all the way round the yard dieing? "have we done our taxes this year?" Another concern, of mine, he gets on the computer - fills out forms for everything under the sun, we get calls all the time for something he has ask for - like refinancing our home, which we did back in October.
I've typed out most of the questions and answers in large letters and put them on the frig - when he asks I say... go look on the frig ... he thinks thats neat that the answers are there for him to look at any time .......
I was wondering does anyone else have this sort of problem - do you have any other ideas that may help?
Thanks for a place to vent ....! A Loving Wife .....
My mother-in-law has lived with us for a little over two years. Yes, she asks the "same" questions in slightly different patterns every "minute." "Why am I here." "How did I get here." "Do I have any clothing." "Why can't I remember." Those are just a few of the repetitive questions.
Early on we decided to do a "Board" for her. We put today's date on the top, and the answers to most of her recurring questions. At the end of the board we wrote "No, you are not a pain in the neck" (she is always concerned about that). We have her board with her when she watches T.V. and at the kitchen table. We find that it has helped both her and "us." The pattern of of repetitive questions have basically been the same over these two years. The only difference seems to be in the "lag" time between all the questions.
My mother-in-law reads her board off and on all day. She is pleasant, and we make a lot of jokes about her memory, like don't you remember when you danced on the tables on the cruise last year? I think it is best to keep the memory issue "light" or they become depressed at their lack of not remembering.
My hasband and I are blessed to have her. The children and grandchildren come over often and they too joke around with her about her memory. When it becomes a little toooo repetitive we remind her "look at your board."
Good luck. September
My mother-in-law has lived with us for a little over two years. Yes, she asks the "same" questions in slightly different patterns every "minute." "Why am I here." "How did I get here." "Do I have any clothing." "Why can't I remember." Those are just a few of the repetitive questions.
Early on we decided to do a "Board" for her. We put today's date on the top, and the answers to most of her recurring questions. At the end of the board we wrote "No, you are not a pain in the neck" (she is always concerned about that). We have her board with her when she watches T.V. and at the kitchen table. We find that it has helped both her and "us." The pattern of of repetitive questions have basically been the same over these two years. The only difference seems to be in the "lag" time between all the questions.
My mother-in-law reads her board off and on all day. She is pleasant, and we make a lot of jokes about her memory, like don't you remember when you danced on the tables on the cruise last year? I think it is best to keep the memory issue "light" or they become depressed at their lack of not remembering.
My hasband and I are blessed to have her. The children and grandchildren come over often and they too joke around with her about her memory. When it becomes a little toooo repetitive we remind her "look at your board."
Good luck. September
goodMorning...
Reading your post I am fascinated by your husbands questions. As a banker he had many questions (old habit never die... just get buried).
You are lucky he has questions rather than sitting... staring into space.
I have a feeling he may still be good with numbers. Give him small problems to work on, right or wrong it will give him something to do.
There are memory match card games similar to goFish or concentration that would be challenging for him. http://memoryjoggingpuzzles.com
The questions may get old... observing him doing nothing... NOTHING would be worse.
goodMorning...
Reading your post I am fascinated by your husbands questions. As a banker he had many questions (old habit never die... just get buried).
You are lucky he has questions rather than sitting... staring into space.
I have a feeling he may still be good with numbers. Give him small problems to work on, right or wrong it will give him something to do.
There are memory match card games similar to goFish or concentration that would be challenging for him. http://memoryjoggingpuzzles.com
The questions may get old... observing him doing nothing... NOTHING would be worse.
I remember those "pete and repeat" days, and the days when everything was new to him every day, we would drive down the same street and he would say, "I've never been down this street...". I miss so much those times when he could talk to me and I also remember how frustrated I would feel at times. Then I read a great piece of advice, something that changed my entire attitude. "They are not going to come back to your world, so you might as well enter theirs." And so I did enter his world, and what a difference it made! If he had not been down that road, neither had I. If it was a repetitive conversation, we would repeat, and sometimes it was more fun to be inventive in my replies. I look back with longing for the times when we could have any kind of meaningful conversation, the times when I could spend hours helping him search for lost items. I know it is difficult and I wish you Godspeed in your mission of caring.
I remember those "pete and repeat" days, and the days when everything was new to him every day, we would drive down the same street and he would say, "I've never been down this street...". I miss so much those times when he could talk to me and I also remember how frustrated I would feel at times. Then I read a great piece of advice, something that changed my entire attitude. "They are not going to come back to your world, so you might as well enter theirs." And so I did enter his world, and what a difference it made! If he had not been down that road, neither had I. If it was a repetitive conversation, we would repeat, and sometimes it was more fun to be inventive in my replies. I look back with longing for the times when we could have any kind of meaningful conversation, the times when I could spend hours helping him search for lost items. I know it is difficult and I wish you Godspeed in your mission of caring.
What a wonderful idea! Enter into the other world with your loved one, at least part-time! The best advice I have read. Thanks
What a wonderful idea! Enter into the other world with your loved one, at least part-time! The best advice I have read. Thanks
I have a 82 year old father that has it also, he use to be so nice to me,but now he mean and he cuses me out we were so close he lives with me for 2 years now I do everything in the world for him but he treats me bad. He ask the same questions about his check every day and he hides money from us but really from his self. He thinks were stealing and wearing his clothes he so your not alone hang in there.
I have a 82 year old father that has it also, he use to be so nice to me,but now he mean and he cuses me out we were so close he lives with me for 2 years now I do everything in the world for him but he treats me bad. He ask the same questions about his check every day and he hides money from us but really from his self. He thinks were stealing and wearing his clothes he so your not alone hang in there.
I would be more than a little concerned about his use of the computer and information he is giving out. Be careful he does not end up leaving you with no money or open you up to identity theft. You might want to limit his internet access until you are sitting with him.
My father almost left my mother penniless. He would order everything under the sun from tv info commercials, he ordered tons of stuff from Reader's Digest because he was sure he was going to win the sweepstakes, he withdrew a very large sum of money from his IRA bought a new car he didn't need and never paid taxes on the withdrawal (I ended up writing a very large penalty and tax check on this later), he constantly called the bank accusing them of stealing his money when it was him taking it out, I had to put stop payments on checks constantly where is would try to donate money to whoever called on the phone or buy insurance from any sales person that showed up at the door.
Be very aware of where his thinking may take both of you.
I too have a laminated piece of paper that I write notes and what day it is on with water based pen for my mom but after a certain point she can't read any more.
I would be more than a little concerned about his use of the computer and information he is giving out. Be careful he does not end up leaving you with no money or open you up to identity theft. You might want to limit his internet access until you are sitting with him.
My father almost left my mother penniless. He would order everything under the sun from tv info commercials, he ordered tons of stuff from Reader's Digest because he was sure he was going to win the sweepstakes, he withdrew a very large sum of money from his IRA bought a new car he didn't need and never paid taxes on the withdrawal (I ended up writing a very large penalty and tax check on this later), he constantly called the bank accusing them of stealing his money when it was him taking it out, I had to put stop payments on checks constantly where is would try to donate money to whoever called on the phone or buy insurance from any sales person that showed up at the door.
Be very aware of where his thinking may take both of you.
I too have a laminated piece of paper that I write notes and what day it is on with water based pen for my mom but after a certain point she can't read any more.