Is there life after caregiving?
I've reached the decision today that I can not continue caring for my grandma. She continues to be the same self centered person she always has been, and I find myself angry with her every day. My own depression is very bad, my frustration at an all time high and my thinking becoming dangerously dark. I've reached my breaking point and am barely hanging on.
Honestly the reason I stuck this out as long as I did was because of Grandpa. With him not here, she's just gotten worse. She has no consideration for anyone else, and I just can't continue living like this.
We plan on talking with her tomorrow, and discussing assisted living. Really, financially, she can't afford the house by herself, and even if I were to stay, we don't need such a big house. She complains daily about being bored and going stir crazy, well at assisted living they have daily activities.
But I am now faced with a scary realization- I am 30 years old, and for the 1st time in my life, will not be directly taking care of someone. Growing up, it was my mom and younger siblings. In my 20's, it was an elderly woman who we kind of 'adopted' each other. I took care of her for several years until she passed away from lung cancer. The last 5 years have been caring for my grandparents.
I don't know who I am, if I am not a caregiver and this is scary. Not scary enough that I can deal with grandma, but scary.