almost 4 years ago
Missy said...

Ugh!  It sounds like you have a classic case of caring for someone is very independent.  I'm betting your brother views needing help as a sign of weakness.  And seriously...being treated for pancreatic cancer and having open heart surgery would definitely make someone weak!  It must have all been a hard blow for him to accept.

I don't know if this will work, but when my mom recently stayed with us for a few weeks while recovering from surgery, the thing that made her happiest was feeling like she was, in someway, helping me.  If I asked her to set the table, she cheered right up.  When I asked her to do a puzzle with my children so I could work for a bit, she was thrilled.  Do you think there is any way you could make your brother feel like he's doing you a favor by being there?  It may make a huge difference and help his ego.

Let us know how it goes!

almost 4 years ago
pmassey said...

ty  so much for  the  advice , i have  been  finding  little thing for  him  to do  and  it has  seemed  to help lots  he  was  very  indenpent  before  he  also lived in  another  state  and  had to come   here  so  yes  he  has   gave  up a lot  ,,,,,,,,   but  i had never  though  of  it  like  u said   so  ty  so much  for  that 

12 months ago
Ruthybee said...

Hello can you tell me how your brother did with the surgery? My brother is 52 and is refusing the whipple. He just completed 6 weeks of chemo/radiation and he is saying that’s it no more. July 9 was supposed to be his next chemo. I want to know if the Whipple added quality of life for your brother. I’m just not ready to loose him.

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