Burnout? Uhhh YES!!!
I just found this website and I'm amazed at how many people are going through the same thoughts and feelings as I am. I've been taking care of my mother for the past 5 years. She has Parkinson's. I have 4 older brothers who live here in town, but hardly ever visit. I was told last night by one of my sisters-in-law that when my dad died and I confronted my mom about selling her house and moving in with us (which also meant that I took the $20,000 proceeds from the sale of the house to buy a larger house so we'd have room) that I basically asked for this situation and everybody feels like I got the money from the house and so she's mine to deal with. There was NO way she could have continued to live on her own. The only other option at the time was a nursing home. My brothers told me that when I sold her house, they thought that was to keep her out of a nursing home. Well I HAVE DONE THAT!! FOR 5 YEARS!!! I'm absolutely exhausted!! I can't leave her alone and they refuse to help. It's now just me and my husband taking care of her. My brothers will stop by for a brief visit maybe once a month, and if I BEG then MAYBE they'll come over for an hour or so and let us get out, but I have to BEG while they're all going about their lives. I'm so resentful of them AND my mother for the situation I've put myself in. I approached her about the possibility of a nursing home and she toldme that the reason she sold her house was to stay out of a nursing home. I TOTALLY GET THAT! I really do!! But there comes a point when it's not safe for me to take care of her 100% of the time. I'm so exhausted and overwhelmed. I can't sleep, I've gained weight, I'm irritable with her and my husband. It's just consumed my life. I have home healthcare come in twice a week to help her with a bath but there's no relief in sight. I can't believe the resentment that's built up in me. I'm just not like that!!