over 1 year ago
Scared&Lonely
said...
help! i am confused
Well on my other post i said my mom is very ill and on top of alzheimers and diabetis now has respiratory failure,sleep apnea, and pulmonary hypertension.Before going to the hospital she could verly move was not eating and so tired and out of breath.She is now on hospice but here is where i am confused she is at her best since a long time.She eats good talks even do she talkes about her past,and she doesnt need the oxigen when before she was on it 24 hrs...............This scares me because i heard from different people that first their health is at their worst get better and then........pass away has this happen to any one??
can anyone tell me how you know the end is near.......
can anyone tell me how you know the end is near.......
Dear Scared and Lonely - trying to figure out much the same thing myself. I think the hospice staff can give you more information - that is part of their service. They may be waiting for you to ask. My heart goes out to you and your mom. I'm glad she is enjoying a period of better functioning and hope her journey is peaceful and pain free.
Dear Scared and Lonely - trying to figure out much the same thing myself. I think the hospice staff can give you more information - that is part of their service. They may be waiting for you to ask. My heart goes out to you and your mom. I'm glad she is enjoying a period of better functioning and hope her journey is peaceful and pain free.
Hi. I've volunteered for Hospice many years ago and also have used hospice services for my dad. A number of friends have used hospice also. First, the patient often will improve because they are in better surroundings that aren't poking and prodding them at any hour of the night and day. If they're at home, they're in surroundings that make them feel loved and comfortable.
Hospice does a great job minimizing pain, etc while maximizing those things that bring them not only comfort, but often joy. Just seeing friends and loved ones will lift their spirits.
And yes, often they will seem to be a lot better, then pass away. But isn't that the point. To give those we love the best possible last days. It is difficult, but it can also be a beautiful time of sharing.
With my dad, we sang his favorite songs. He was able to enjoy his grandchildren. And he had beautiful moments with my step-mom.
Hospice can tell you how your mom is progressing. But in the meantime, savor these wonderful moments. I'm hoping I wasn't too late in responding to your post. Sending you healing energy as well. Breathe deeply, savor the moments, and cherish the memories.
Hi. I've volunteered for Hospice many years ago and also have used hospice services for my dad. A number of friends have used hospice also. First, the patient often will improve because they are in better surroundings that aren't poking and prodding them at any hour of the night and day. If they're at home, they're in surroundings that make them feel loved and comfortable.
Hospice does a great job minimizing pain, etc while maximizing those things that bring them not only comfort, but often joy. Just seeing friends and loved ones will lift their spirits.
And yes, often they will seem to be a lot better, then pass away. But isn't that the point. To give those we love the best possible last days. It is difficult, but it can also be a beautiful time of sharing.
With my dad, we sang his favorite songs. He was able to enjoy his grandchildren. And he had beautiful moments with my step-mom.
Hospice can tell you how your mom is progressing. But in the meantime, savor these wonderful moments. I'm hoping I wasn't too late in responding to your post. Sending you healing energy as well. Breathe deeply, savor the moments, and cherish the memories.
A nurse told me "when they stop eating."
A nurse told me "when they stop eating."
I've noticed that my dad perks up when the staff at the assisted living is paying more attention to him. but I too have heard about people having a last burst of energy before they go. (seems kind of like the 'nesting' thing pregnant women go through just before they deliver)
I've noticed that my dad perks up when the staff at the assisted living is paying more attention to him. but I too have heard about people having a last burst of energy before they go. (seems kind of like the 'nesting' thing pregnant women go through just before they deliver)
To Everyone, especially scared and lonely...I am sitting wih my brother who now is eating pudding applesauce and doing well. He was knocking on deaths door last Saturday. He is 56 and like a little boy due to brain injury. I lost my son 3 years ago this month. I am in excruciating pain. The hospice we are living in is an empty shell. My pain of not understanding is enormous. I know exactly how you feel. I truly feel your pain. My hospice team when my son died in a hospital on a hospice wing was around me constantly as well as my son. I feel like I am in a nightmare and am suffocating.
To Everyone, especially scared and lonely...I am sitting wih my brother who now is eating pudding applesauce and doing well. He was knocking on deaths door last Saturday. He is 56 and like a little boy due to brain injury. I lost my son 3 years ago this month. I am in excruciating pain. The hospice we are living in is an empty shell. My pain of not understanding is enormous. I know exactly how you feel. I truly feel your pain. My hospice team when my son died in a hospital on a hospice wing was around me constantly as well as my son. I feel like I am in a nightmare and am suffocating.
dear Scared & lonely, i too have seen the same thing , that when people are on hospice, they often really do better. that is because Hospice is usually a very nurturing kind of of care, truly person-centered and is palliative,which means not leaving patient in discomfort or fear. same for you. it sounds as if you need to talk more with them. they can answer all your questions and hospice is for the whole family, not just the dying person. so please do talk with them. i'm so happy that your Mom is talking with you about the things that she needs to share and to settle -- and with you listening, that makes the two of you right there for each other in sacred work together. you're doing so well. once a person stops eating (and this is natural and not at all painful for the dying person, it is their actual body's choice), it can be for anything from one to four weeks, as a generalization. bring all your questions and fears to hospice people amn there's one of the best books ever written about dying which is called "Final Gifts" by two hospice nurses. it's a gentle informative wonderful book. i was terrified at my 1st elder death too, but i promise you it's all the going to be surprisingly okay. don't be shy to ask those folks, now!
dear Scared & lonely, i too have seen the same thing , that when people are on hospice, they often really do better. that is because Hospice is usually a very nurturing kind of of care, truly person-centered and is palliative,which means not leaving patient in discomfort or fear. same for you. it sounds as if you need to talk more with them. they can answer all your questions and hospice is for the whole family, not just the dying person. so please do talk with them. i'm so happy that your Mom is talking with you about the things that she needs to share and to settle -- and with you listening, that makes the two of you right there for each other in sacred work together. you're doing so well. once a person stops eating (and this is natural and not at all painful for the dying person, it is their actual body's choice), it can be for anything from one to four weeks, as a generalization. bring all your questions and fears to hospice people amn there's one of the best books ever written about dying which is called "Final Gifts" by two hospice nurses. it's a gentle informative wonderful book. i was terrified at my 1st elder death too, but i promise you it's all the going to be surprisingly okay. don't be shy to ask those folks, now!
To Scared & Lonely and KKC, My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I can completely empathize with both of you as I am going thru the exact same thing with my father. However, KKC, our hospice service has been of enormous help - providing counseling and discussions with doctors and nurses. Perhaps you could ask someone there at the hospice for some guidance. It couldn't hurt to ask. I am keeping you both in my daily prayers.
To Scared & Lonely and KKC, My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I can completely empathize with both of you as I am going thru the exact same thing with my father. However, KKC, our hospice service has been of enormous help - providing counseling and discussions with doctors and nurses. Perhaps you could ask someone there at the hospice for some guidance. It couldn't hurt to ask. I am keeping you both in my daily prayers.
Marmie had a good answer to you. My husband was in hospice with Alzheimer's and had a huge physical decline which is unusual. I called in hospise and he improved and was content. Hospice is the best thing I ever did for him toward the end. I selected them early and he was under their care for almost 10 months. They had answers for me, equipment I didn't know about, ways to keep shower him and keep his body healthy, etc. They are a real pleasing allowing me to do my part. My part was sharing of memmories, playing music in his room at all times. I would change it to change his mood. We would even hold hands and keep the beat as tho we were dancing. I had spiritual pictures up in his room and we talked about deep meaningful things. At the end, we were both content when the end came. I had no regrets. I had said and done everything that I felt was needed during that time of his being alert.
Marmie had a good answer to you. My husband was in hospice with Alzheimer's and had a huge physical decline which is unusual. I called in hospise and he improved and was content. Hospice is the best thing I ever did for him toward the end. I selected them early and he was under their care for almost 10 months. They had answers for me, equipment I didn't know about, ways to keep shower him and keep his body healthy, etc. They are a real pleasing allowing me to do my part. My part was sharing of memmories, playing music in his room at all times. I would change it to change his mood. We would even hold hands and keep the beat as tho we were dancing. I had spiritual pictures up in his room and we talked about deep meaningful things. At the end, we were both content when the end came. I had no regrets. I had said and done everything that I felt was needed during that time of his being alert.
I will share my mom's expericne, although I'm sure everyone is different. Mom had Alzheimer's for about 10 years and was on hospice only a few weeks before she passed away in August. About 5 months before she died, she weakened and couldn't bear weight on her legs any longer. Her appetite began to drop off. At first she would eat well at breakfast, about half her lunch and then nothing for supper. In the last month or six weeks before she passed, she ate only a few bites of soft food and would drink liquids. She just refused most foods, covering her mouth and shaking her head. The most telling sign was that she couldn't hold her head up for more than a minute or two for the last few months. Her chin rested on her chest nearly all the time unless she exerted a lot of effort to lift it up. In the last two - three weeks, she spoke less, although she did talk and communicate with us. She ate almost nothing, but would drink milk and juice through a straw. One Saturday morning, she was sort of semi-conscious and her breathing was shallow and difficult. She never opened her eyes after that and would not squeeze my hand. The hospice nurse gave her something to make her breathing easier and in about 48 hours, she went very quietly - just stopped breathing. It was not as scary or bad as I anticipated. Once she no longer responded to me, I was able to accept it as natural and say goodbye.
I will share my mom's expericne, although I'm sure everyone is different. Mom had Alzheimer's for about 10 years and was on hospice only a few weeks before she passed away in August. About 5 months before she died, she weakened and couldn't bear weight on her legs any longer. Her appetite began to drop off. At first she would eat well at breakfast, about half her lunch and then nothing for supper. In the last month or six weeks before she passed, she ate only a few bites of soft food and would drink liquids. She just refused most foods, covering her mouth and shaking her head. The most telling sign was that she couldn't hold her head up for more than a minute or two for the last few months. Her chin rested on her chest nearly all the time unless she exerted a lot of effort to lift it up. In the last two - three weeks, she spoke less, although she did talk and communicate with us. She ate almost nothing, but would drink milk and juice through a straw. One Saturday morning, she was sort of semi-conscious and her breathing was shallow and difficult. She never opened her eyes after that and would not squeeze my hand. The hospice nurse gave her something to make her breathing easier and in about 48 hours, she went very quietly - just stopped breathing. It was not as scary or bad as I anticipated. Once she no longer responded to me, I was able to accept it as natural and say goodbye.