Questions About Sex & Relationships

1. Is having oral sex during chemotherapy treatment safe?

   Question - Yes, it is safe for a woman to have oral sex with a man who is undergoing chemotherapy. The cancer itself is not contagious. In general, the drugs that are used during chemotherapy are not excreted in semen in quantities that could be dangerous for the woman...
   1 Expert Answer, 5 Community Answers

2. Could post hysterectomy sex pain be cancer?

   Question - From reading your letter, I can tell that you are worried. You do not mention in your letter why you had a hysterectomy at 24 years of age. You also do not say if they took your ovaries as well (which would mean that you need to be on hormone replacement therapy)...
   1 Expert Answer

3. Do my parents need to get divorced to qualify for Medicaid?

   Question - Talk with an Elder Law Attorney who will know your state's law. In California, the community spouse will be able to retain certain assets and income while the spouse in a skilled nursing home will receive the entitled benefits. Check on how far a "look back" by the state is done (maybe at least 3-5 years...
   1 Community Answer

4. Does divorce to protect assets from one spouse to the other work?

   Question - Unfortunately, some people do get divorced to try to protect assets from long-term care costs. In your father's case, there's the immediate question of who's responsible for paying his assisted living costs. If he's paying privately -- meaning, without Medicaid assistance -- then his wife may be liable for those costs under North Carolina law...
   1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

5. Am I financially responsible for my ex-husband's nursing home expenses?

   Question - I am recently divorced. My ex-husband is in a nursing home in Arkansas. Medicaid has not approved his application in 4 months. Am I responsible for his nursing home bills? The divorce gave me all of our assets.

6. Wil the VA cover Mom's assisted living?

   Question - YES! However, I don't know if your father would have had to received money from the VA for a service connected disability. The VA will assign a percentage to the disability. For example, my father was 100% service connected and my mother is entitled to living assistance money...
   3 Community Answers

7. Can an ex-wife be held responsible for the home loan if their name was left on loan?

   Question - Unfair and unfortunate as it may seem, your mother may remain responsible for the mortgage on the property, even though she understood that she was free and clear of any obligations on it after signing a quitclaim deed.
   1 Expert Answer

8. How do I get my husband interested in sex again after my hysterectomy?

   Question - Hello. I am a 50 year-old woman who has a very strong sex drive. My husband is two years younger than I am. I recently had a hysterectomy and he thought I would not want to be sexually active any more. Well, it has not been the case. He no longer touches me and has told me that he is no longer attracted to me, I turn him off...

9. How much responsibility does the assisted living facility have in trying to control inappropriate sexual behavior of residents?

   Question - Hi Frances. Sexual behavior in any alternative living situation such as assisted living or nursing home is very difficult to handle.
   1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

10. Can cancer drugs cause side effects if swallowed in semen?

    Question - Cancer Chemotherapy may be excreted in very small amounts in the semen. The side effects from ingesting a small amount of semen have not been tested, to my knowledge, but the drug levels should be quite small and not cause problems in the partner...
    1 Expert Answer

11. Is it normal for an elderly man to exhibit inappropriate sexual behavior?

    Question - It is not unusual for an elderly man who is cognitively challenged to exhibit sexual behavior. In that respect, the act is really not 'inappropriate'. It may not be the behavior that is aberrant but instead the choice of place, or time, or person acted upon that requires a change of focus. The need for intimacy does not diminish with age or infirmity...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

12. How can I control the urge for sex when my partner is not well?

    Question - I am not sure controlling the urge for sex is the answer. Our sex drive ebbs and flows throughout life and is sometimes related to life circumstances. While it is normal for someone to have decreased interest in sex when they are ill, it can be frustrating for both partners...
    1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

13. What are the sexual side effects of chemotherapy treatment?

    Question - Cancer and chemotherapy can be a lethal combination when it comes to sexuality and sexual function. When sexual side effects occur, they can be from the cancer, the chemo or both. The type of cancer a person has and the specific chemotherapy drugs that are used can also be related to sexual side effects...
    1 Expert Answer

14. What are the issues around sexual activity in nursing homes for individuals with dementia?

    Question - Hi. I answered a similar question a while ago. You can reference that.
    1 Expert Answer

15. Could my hysterectomy be causing severe pain and spotting during intercourse?

    Question - Painful intercourse, also called dyspareunia, can be difficult to talk about. Many women who experience this problem will feel embarrassed, that maybe they are "crazy", or that they are doing something wrong during sex to give them discomfort...
    1 Expert Answer

16. What can women do to increase their desire for sex?

    Question - Hi Anonymous,
    1 Community Answer

17. How can I have a better sex life.I have high blood pressure?

    Question - The best way to have a better sex life it to take care of yourself. You should be watching your weight, eating right, sleeping well, and exercising. Remember, sex is like an exercise activity, so if you are out of shape, it can be difficult to enjoy and perform well...
    1 Expert Answer

18. How can I stop my overactive bladder from acting up during...

    Question - Overactive bladder (OAB) can be a difficult and embarrassing problem, especially if it causes urges or incontinence during sex. Research has shown that OAB does affect sexual activity in more than 40% of people who have it, so you are not alone. First, talk with your partner about your condition...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

19. Does having sex have an effect on recovery from cervical cancer?

    Question - i got cervical cancer symptoms 3 years back and i got treatment and was said to go for checkup in 5 years time....now i have the same symptoms again infact even worse.

20. Is there a treatment for older women who lack sexual desire?

    Question - In women, is it true that there is no real treatment for a lack of desire for sex? Also, what if sex is very painful even with proper lubrication? I am a post menopausal woman of 47... HELP!

21. Will sex aggravate a heart condition?

    Question - Hi. Your Uncle sounds like a great guy. Many seniors are living much longer with CHF due to their medications helping their symptoms . It is good to talk with him and ask him what his concerns are so he can express his feelings. Best to check with his doctor to see if there are any restrictions on him having sex...
    1 Expert Answer

22. Chemo and Sex: Is it safe for the woman?

    Question - Sex is safe for both the woman and man during chemotherapy, no matter whether it is the woman or man undergoing chemotherapy. Neither cancer nor cancer treatment is contagious in any way.
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

23. Are intimate relations safe after a heart attack?

    Question - Unfortunately, there's no way I can answer this question. The answer depends on so many different variables. Your husband really needs to go back and see a doctor who has access to his medical records to see if he's been fully treated. Best of luck to you both.
    1 Expert Answer

24. What can I do if my medication is interfering with intercourse?

    Question - I have had congestive heart failure for 7 years and take many medications for this condition. The medications are interfering with my ability to have intercourse. Is there is anything that I can do or take to help this problem?

25. How to go from caring for women only to comfortably caring for men?

    Question - I would like to praise you for asking this question. We grow in our humanity by going beyond what we think we can do.
    1 Expert Answer

26. Should my dad divorce his wife to avoid being financially responsible for the housing choices her daughter is making for her?

    Question - First and foremost, you should seek legal advice and assistance from an attorney. The answers to your questions may depend on the specific laws of the state in which your father and stepmother live, including community property laws and laws pertaining to legal capacity and power of attorney.
    1 Expert Answer

27. Divorcing for financial reasons over dementia: Can mom keep half?

    Question - Hello Gina, We're sorry to hear that your mother is experiencing some worry about violence from your father.
    1 Community Answer

28. How can we help secure finances for a friend with Alzheimer's disease if her husband divorces her?

    Question - A family friend just hit his Alzheimer wife in a grocery. They called police and had him arrested. She was put in a safe Alzheimer home. She is doing fine, happy and content. He is now out of jail with legal issues and has a no contact order. If he divorces her, as he might be thinking, how do we secure her finances...

29. What happens to joint assets and finances if one spouse is filing bankruptcy when separated?

    Question - This is a complicated situation and it is further complicated by the fact that the laws that pertain to this situation differ significantly from state to state.
    1 Expert Answer

30. Are there any laws that protect Alzheimer's patients from their spouses divorcing them?

    Question - My sister was diagnosed with Alzheimer's two years ago. She is still a very sweet person. Our family is beginning to have fears that her husband may divorce her because he admits he has no patience with her. She stays with me and my husband about 1/2 of the time although we live in a different state...

31. Can dementia be grounds for divorce?

    Question - People sometimes wonder can dementia be grounds for divorce. One reason is that dementia patients are likely to need long-term nursing care and the cost of that care can drain a couple’s financial resources. Therefore, even if the marriage is happy, there are people who would like to legally divorcece...
    1 Community Answer

32. My parents are having marital problems. How can I help?

    Question - Your parents aren't too old for counseling -- or for separation, if it comes to that. But with luck -- and some sessions with a good marriage counselor -- they'll hopefully be able to get their marriage back on track.
    1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

33. In a Hawaii divorce, will my spouse get half of property that I just got in a trust?

    Question - In a Hawaii divorce, will my spouse get half of a property I just inherited in a trust?

34. How do I stay sane? How to overcome inpatience and anger while caring for my former husband?

    Question - Hello, I've just found this 'group' and I feel you will be a great source of comfort/companionship. I'm taking care of my former husband. We were married for 30 years and have been divorced since 1998. He is only moderately impaired; he still drives in local familiar places. He cannot remember to take meds (he is also bipolar) and cannot remember to eat...

35. My soon to be exhusband and I have 3 kids. Does he lose money for them?

    Question - My soon to be ex-husband is medically retired from the military. Does he lose his VA money for them once our divorce is final if I have physical custody even though the custody is joint?

36. Am I legally responsible to provide care for my spouse?

    Question - Is a spouse legally responsible for picking up their husband/wife from a nursing home if they are no longer able to emotionally care for them and have moved on as it has been a year and a half? The doctors said the individual would never be able to leave the nursing home but the spouse has improved to a point where they may be able to eave...

37. Is divorce in my mom's future?

    Question - My parents are divorced and both remarried. My mother and stepfather have been arguing alot lately. My mom works 11 hour days and my stepfather is currently unemployed. Its like when she comes home he wants to know when dinner is and what is for dinner. Instead of making dinner for us he makes her make it for him after working all day...

38. Am I still responsible for my ex-husband's stock after his death?

    Question - For better or worse, the stock is yours.
    1 Expert Answer

39. Does divorce trigger repayment of a reverse mortgage?

    Question - My home is in my name now. If i get a reverse mortgage and then get a divorce and my wife is awarded the home. Does that trigger repayment of the reverse mortgage?

40. My wife divorced a veteran in 1966. Is she still eligible for benefits?

    Question - Your wife would not be eligible to apply for VA benefits under her ex-husband. A divorce and subsequent remarriage terminates the eligibility of a non-veteran spouse for veterans’ benefits because this person no longer meets the definition of spouse.
    1 Expert Answer, 5 Community Answers

41. Can I help my parents work through their marital problems?

    Question - Hi I am not sure how old you are, but it sounds like you are being affected considerably by this situation. Your mother may be in for a rude awakening, but regardless, this is a problem the two of them have to solve. If she is determined to leave him and doesn't want to work on the marriage, nothing you or he can do or say will change that...
    1 Community Answer

42. How can I move on with my life without hurting my disabled husband?

    Question - Your spouse is totally disabled and bedridden and has been for 20+ years in which you have been caring for her. I think under those circumstances you are not considered a scumbag, just someone who has been lonely for a long time. I understand the loneliness as our children are grown too and one wants me to stay the other says leave...
    11 Community Answers

43. Who is entitled to Mom's stock after her and Dad's death?

    Question - The answer, as you intuited, will depend on when or whether the stock was effectively transferred to your dad.
    1 Expert Answer

44. Can I receive veteran's benefits again from my first late husband?

    Question - Yes, you may be able to since you were married to the veteran at the time of his service-connected death and are not currently married, you may be eligible for the [Restored Entitlement Program for Survivors (REPS)] (http://www.workworld.org/wwwebhelp/veterans_affairs_va_benefits_dependency_and_indemnity_compensation_dic_...
    1 Expert Answer

45. Can a stroke cause sexual dysfunction?

    Question - Unfortunately, the answer is yes. A stroke can effect the neural control over sexual function and erection.
    1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

46. What activities should I avoid with congestive heart failure?

    Question - As with any other chronic disease, you should do your best to take care of yourself. I would avoid salt, as too much salt will make you retain fluid. Eat a healthy diet. You should also listen to your doctor when starting to exercise, as you should start out slowly. You should try to get enough sleep and reduce your stress...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

47. What can be done for premature ejaculation due to hyperthyroidism?

    Question - I have hyperthyroidism and, according to the article on your site, this may causes premature ejaculation(PE) in men. Unfortunately I am having exactly the same problem and I ejaculate with in 10-20 seconds after insertion. I am an extremely shy person and this is causing lot of pressure on my mind...

48. Are there safe sleep aids for seniors?

    Question - In the treatment of sleep problems, it is always best to first try non-pharmacologic options so there is no danger of side effects. The first step is to adopt standard sleep hygiene techniques that have been shown to be effective. These include, first, maintaining a regular sleep wake cycle, so that...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

49. How can I ease my father's discomfort when I have to help him with physically intimate tasks?

    Question - It has to be difficult for your father to have you see him in such a vulnerable position. This kind of situation comes up whenever an adult child is caring for a parent, but it's hardest when you're caring for a parent of the opposite sex.
    1 Expert Answer