Who is responsible for paying for my mother's care?

If your mother runs out of money, her husband is responsible for her care. If you haven't already discussed the matter with your step-father, I urge you to have this See also:
What rights do I have as a healthcare agent?

See all 324 questions about Paying for Care conversation as soon as possible. He may be willing to pay and then you do not have an issue.

If he refuses to pay for her care because he hopes Medicaid will cover it, let him know that to qualify for Medicaid, their joint assets would be divided in half. He will only be able to keep an amount determined by the state where they live, and the rest will have to be spent on your mother’s care before she will be eligible for Medicaid. Depending on his financial position, this may encourage him to take responsibility for her care.

There is a loophole in the Medicaid regulations called “spousal refusal”. This would enable your mother’s husband to refuse to pay for her care and force her onto Medicaid. However, with the financial challenges facing the entire Medicaid program, most states no longer permit this.

The government cannot use your resources or your brothers’ to determine your mother’s eligibility for Medicaid. Only her and her husband’s resources can be counted. That said, there are laws called “filial responsibility” in about 30 states. These laws say that adult children are responsible for taking care of their parents if they are in financial difficulty. These laws are rarely enforced.

If your mother’s husband is not forthcoming with his financial situation, you should contact a professional -- such as a financial planner or an elder law attorney -- to assist you in making sure your mother gets the quality of care she deserves.