Who do I talk to at Mom's nursing home about concerns regarding her care?
The middle stages of dementia, where it sounds to me your mother may be, are among the most challenging. Behaviors like the ones you are describing are the norm and can be very concerning and upsetting to family who see such a stark contrast to the person they knew before the disease. That said, there are a few things I would suggest:
1) It seems to me that a meeting with her care team at the nursing home is in order - this would include the nursing home doctor and the nurse manager. You can request this meeting by contacting the head administrator at the facility. The purpose would be to discuss the same concerns you've posted here and to talk with the facility about how they might better manage them. Specifically, I would want to ensure that your mother is not allowed to return to her room unassisted, as attempting to transfer herself into her bed from a wheelchair is just as you say - dangerous.
2) If you haven't already, this would be a good time to call your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association and find out about upcoming workshops where the disease - and what to expect - is explained. These meetings, which are free to the public, have been immensely helpful to many families I've met. If nothing more, they provide an opportunity to meet others who are facing the same challenges.
Since making my post here, my mom is now wearing sweatpants and sweaters, thus she can't take the sweatpants off, so she is keeping her Depends on........a huge plus all because I went out bought her the new clothes with the hopes it would work, and it did.
I am still concerned, however, about her sneaking out of the day room and going into her room, and I find this unacceptable and even one more time would be one too many and potentially very dangerous. I thought just speaking to the nurse manager about this one issue would be good enough unless other problems present themselves. What do you think about this? Or do I need a "care team" meeting, which is something I never had since both my parents moved into the facility in mid-July 2010.
