Your question raises one of the most challenging decisions caregivers face, so thanks for posting it. While there is no absolute right time to place a parent in a nursing
home below are some guidelines.
First and foremost, you’ll have to assess how well the current situation is working. To do so, ask yourself the following questions:
- Is your mom’s health fairly stable at this point?
- Is she safe and content at home and does she like being there?
- Is the help that you have enlisted enough to provide you with necessary breaks and can you continue to pay for that help for the foreseeable future?
- Are the resources that she is using to buy supplies enough to cover what she needs?
If you can answer “yes” to each of these questions then I don’t see a reason to transfer her now. Instead, use this time to find a facility you would be comfortable with and find out what the admissions process is for persons coming from home rather than from a hospital. Then, gather the necessary documents together so that you are ready. Also, do what you can to preserve the money you’ve stashed away to privately pay for the first month. If the nursing home you choose is a popular one, this money may make the difference in her admission.
If things are stable right now this is also a good time to explore other sources of help. For instance, every state has a caregiver support program that is funded with federal dollars. These programs can purchase supplies like the ones you mentioned (Ensure, Depends, etc.) and can often reimburse co-payments for medications too so long as the care receiver doesn’t have Medicaid. Perhaps this service would help stretch your resources. You can locate the program in your state by calling the Elder Care Locator at: 1-800-677-1116.
Should your mother’s health decline further to the point at which she requires more assistance to keep her safe and content than you can provide and still maintain your own health, or that you can afford to hire or, should the monetary resources you’ve been using for supplies dwindle to the point at which they can no longer adequately meet her needs, then placement may be your only option.