What is the best way to speak with my stepmom about moving from a house that is too big for her and my dad?

Mr. martins daughter asked...

What is the best way to speak with my stepmom about moving from a house that is too big for her and my dad?  He is all for it but she does not want to move.  They are 72 and 76 years old the neighbohood is getting very dangerous, and they have lived there for thirty years.

Expert Answer

Donna Quinn Robbins is the author of Moving Mom and Dad and On the Road of Life, Drive Yourself. She helps individuals, families, retirement communities, and corporations make successful transitions. Robbins is an active public speaker on the topic of senior transition services and has appeared on NBC's Today Show.

First of all, I don't think you should approach your stepmother on her own about this issue. If you have a good relationship with her, then the three of you should get together and discuss the situation.

It would be helpful to have a pro and con list so that when she creates those roadblocks you can say, "Well, we have thought about that, but here are some positives or another way to look at it."

One great influencer is the fact that if your parents move to a retirement community, then if something happens to one of them, he or she will be taken care of and have immediate support of all kinds in the community where they live.

This just happened to a friend of mine. He married a mutual friend and they were together two years. She passed away two weeks ago. I saw him last week and he was so thankful that he lived in a retirement community. He said it would have been much harder had he been alone.