How can we make visits to the nursing home easier on us all?

The best advice I can offer you is to give it time. Transitions are tough for all involved. The decision to place a family member in a nursing home is See also:
Is there a time limit on making a revocable trust before entering a nursing home? one of the most difficult – particularly if the older adult prefers to remain at home. Often it takes time to accept that there was no other way (logistically and/or financially) to ensure their safety and adequate care. Sometimes a nursing home is often the only option.

Based on the level of need you describe, it sounds like your boyfriend did the right thing - for himself and for his grandmother. Support him if he is second-guessing himself and encourage him to allow her time to adjust to the new surroundings and routine.

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goodMorning Anonymous,

Your question on how to make your visits to your loved one more enjoyable is precisely ONE of the reasons I developed Memory Jogging Puzzles and Memory Exercise Cards. Please read:

Dear karen,

I worked in a Nursing Home for 27 years before I retired. I worked in the Activity Department and began using the memory jogging puzzles after my retirement when I started Volunteering at Day Care and Retirement Homes.

The caregivers kit has been the best thing that I have ever seen to keep a residents attention and get them to reminisce about themselves and others from the past years.

I would recommend every Activity Director have this kit in there department for a weekly activity or an extra for I know it is a crowd pleaser and will put smiles on everyone’s faces. It’s easy and makes everyone talk and visit with one another.

Thank you so much,

Birdie Scroggins, AD, CAP
###

For more information: http://memoryjoggingpuzzles.com

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I know how hard this is for you to do. It does take time and sometimes a little help from some medication for depression. Once your Grandmother starts to get into a routine and she starts to meet people it will help. Can you decorate her room? Bring in her favorite chair, TV, photos? Just go in and don't ask her to do anything that will upset her. If she is angry hold her hand and tell her how much you love her. Take baby steps-then leave. Just keep on coming back. There won't be any good time until she adjusts. She is afraid.

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hi...

If you could only step into her shoes for a day and experience the frustrations, fear and anxiety... I feel you would have more compassion and patience towards her.

It must be horrifying to be in that situation, having everyone looking at you, and asking... surely you remember this or me? do this do that... and five minutes later they may not remember the conversation.

You had mentioned her medication, I would think it would be up to the caregivers at the center to assist with her medicine. (otherwise she may take too much or not)

Perhaps the next time you go visit, you take something - a game that the two of you can do together. Something with interesting pictures that you can talk about or laugh about. Not a drilling time, a fun time.

If she doesn't play the game right or you don't understand what she is talking about... don't correct her, it is just a game... go with the flow. time is precious... make some memories you will enjoy... rather than thinking back about the bad moments you have spent.

It's a new year... time for change... takeCare.

http://memoryjoggingpuzzles.com

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