Should we tell Dad he can't go back home?
Relocating is always a complex issue for older adults and expressing a desire to return home is very common….and can persist for years. If the elder suffers from a moderate stage of dementia with disorientation to place, this plaint could be a daily request. Often persons with dementia living in their own homes express the desire to “go home” so the statement always needs exploration. It is unclear whether your father in law’s inability to care for himself upon widowhood was due to cognitive or physical impairments. It is also unclear whether he now retains an adequate perception of reality. Your explanation to him about what happened to his house would really depend upon that.
If your father-in-law has significant memory loss, telling him he has no house anymore on a good day might not be retained on a bad day. Thus you would need to tell him this on a daily basis and hope it might enter into memory. However, if his judgment and reasoning are intact, and he comprehends that he now has nowhere to go, he might become adjusted to his present environment. It all depends upon his overall level of dementia.
It sounds as though your father has freedom of movement at his facility and could leave if he wanted. Thus, it does not sound as though the facility is geared to dementia. If leaving the facility presents a risk to your father in law’s safety and security, it sounds like the staff needs to implement some safeguards….or you may need to relocate him to a residence with more supervision.
