How can I get my mother to acknowledge that she has Alzheimer's?

It depends. Getting your mother to admit she has Alzheimer's disease isn't necessarily as important as helping her understand and cope with issues related to her memory loss.

She may seem oblivious, but people with Alzheimer's are generally aware that something's going on. She's not stupid. She sees that other people can still drive, for example, and she can't. The worst thing you can do when your mother asks, "What's wrong with me?" is to say, "Oh, you're OK. You're just getting older." What she needs is someone to empathize with her about the changes. It can be a relief for her to talk about her disease, as long as you broach it with care. Frame it as a discussion about the life issues she's facing.

Researchers have found that families who don't discuss the disease with the afflicted person see an increase in the individual's paranoia. Reassure her that it's a fairly common brain illness but not the end of the world. Tell her that there's nothing she could've done to prevent this, but there are things that can slow the disease a little bit and you will do your best to help.

The biggest fear of people with memory loss -- and a reason they may avoid putting a label on their problems -- is fear of abandonment. Yes, they're afraid of losing their memory and of forgetting their family, but they're even more frightened that family will forget them. You have to tell your mom, "Whatever happens, we're going to get through this." This type of reassurance is critical to easing anxiety.

That said, insisting that your mother stand up and say, "I have Alzheimer's disease" can be counterproductive. Making a declaration like that can just cause agitation and frustration in some people. Approach the situation with sensitivity and a focus on providing support.