Can the state force an elderly alcoholic into a facility?
Your grandfather has an ideal situation. Lucky man! As long as he gets to have his way about everything, he has no reason to adjust his behavior. Since he has been drinking for years, he probably cannot withdraw from the alcohol without physical symptoms that can be better managed in a hospital setting. You did not ask about that, so I will not say more except that you should not look for him to stop drinking at this point.
For your sanity and the safety of your family, moving out of his house is best. As he says, it is his house and his money. Once you are in your own home, he will no longer be a benefactor and he will know that you are not dependent on him for anything. This will change the relationship.
In Texas, Adult Protective Services (APS) will generally step in to prevent actual harm. If a case worker is called in, he will assess your grandfather's situation for danger. If the case worker believes that he can no longer live there safely, or that he is not able to make competent decisions, then he can be relocated to a safer environment. If the worker find that he is competent or can manage his needs independently, your grandfather may remain where he is.
In reality, your grandfather will be much better off living in a facility. He will have meals, clean clothes, shopping, housecleaning, and other basic services. These will be provided by someone he cannot bully as he does you. He will have an environment that is not filthy and live around people who perhaps have a healthier attitude. It may be the best thing that can happen for him.
Been sober for 28 years, but I'm only 58 years old. However, I have MS, PTSD, diabetes, and in chronic pain. I am a very grateful alcoholic, and wouldn't trade my sobriety for anything. My kids have all grown up with a sober, single mom in a wheelchair. We lived in Sisters, OR, where I had a Safe House for Abused kids from alcoholic parents. They painted my wheelchair ramp the yellow brick road. And although my sobriety has been far from easy, it has had more moments of true clarity, true love, truth in general, and freedom to feel my own feelings no matter if they hurt or are joyful. With all that said, an 86 year old alcoholic may be in the 4th stages, and as they say, constitutionally incapable of being honest with himself. If he admits he wants help, I think you should go for it. Otherwise, I would let him live out his life exactly the way he wants to.
