Must I share my mom's finances with my brother?
Depending on what kind of power of attorney you have and where you live, your brother may or may not be legally entitled to an accounting from you. A minority of states impose that requirement on agents who hold a power of attorney for another person. If your brother wants to pursue a court-mandated accounting, let him do the research and legwork or pay and hire an attorney for help.
Whatever the future holds, you can make your life easier by keeping or reconstructing a solid accounting of your income and expenses.
But it sounds as if the bigger problem is that there are hurt feelings and anger on both sides of the aisle in your family: You may feel a little oppressed and resentful and he may feel as if you’re hiding the ball—or in this case, the money—from him. You are wise to want to smooth over these difficulties before it’s too late. But you may not be able to do it alone.
If you are serious about getting to the heart of the angst between you and your brother and he is willing to cooperate, consider getting help from a family counselor—more difficult to arrange since you live many miles apart, but not impossible. You might also get help from a family mediator—an impartial third person who can help you work out a solution that is as pleasing to both you and your brother as possible.
If neither of these possibilities seems likely, consider the slightly riskier approach of calling in an impartial family friend to be present while you and your brother talk. It’s amazing what a little soul-bearing can do—and doing it in the presence of a third person can often have a calming and civilizing effect.
I have no interest in making this very difficult situation acceptable to him.
The fact of the matter is that i have completely mortgaged my future to provide a home for mom. Personally and financially.
As I mentioned in my previous question I have not had a day off in over 7 years. He and his wife have never offered or arranged to give me several days off. When I had to have serious eye surgery five years ago and requested their assistance I was told in no uncertain terms that it was my problem and there would be no help provided by them.
I am finally at peace with this situation after several years of personal turmoil and anger. I have attempted to discuss this situation with him many times, but it always comes back to money. I am not getting rich here, I still; have a mortgage, in fact I now have two. I feel that he has no respect for me or my mother.
Regarding the Power of Attorney that I hold: my brother lives in California and my mother and I live in Oregon. I have absolutly so interest in giving him an accounting of mom and my finances. My mother has told him this to him numerous times. Legally what am I obligated to provide to hm?
