Can I refuse to continue to be my father's caretaker?
What a problem you have, and how I wish there was an easy answer. Unfortunately my knowledge of resources for non-seniors is limited, so I sought advice from two professionals in Michigan. Some ideas were to start with the Area Agency on Aging to see if there are any resources available. Sometimes there may be more resources in a particular region and it is worth trying.
Also, if your father is still married and still a resident of another state, then a medical flight home might work to at least get him out of your house. Since your father is his ‘own person’ he cannot force his son to provide for him.
Adult Protective Services normally will only get involved if there is neglect or abuse. However, what he is doing seems to be harming himself, so calling APS would be worth a try.
If the family can afford to pay a Geriatric Care Manager for a consultation, then find one nearest the county of potential placement. (www.caremanager.org or look on Caring.com for care managers)
It is remotely possible, if he was on Medicaid wherever he lived prior to his landing with you in Michigan that he could get into a nursing home with some assistance from someone who knows those specific rules.
Other resources suggested are faith based social services. They sometimes have programs for all populations, all ages.
Many thanks to Andrea Carroll at the Evangelical Homes of Michigan and to Valerie Dockter of Care Response in Ann Arbor for helping me with this difficult answer.
