How do I deal with a prejudice mother living in a diverse assisted living facility?

1 answer | Last updated: Jun 26, 2012
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Q
An anonymous caregiver asked...
My mother is very prejudiced and will have to live in a very diverse assisted living community and will, most likely, have a roommate she is prejudiced against. She has always been this way, but I believe she has gotten worse as she as gotten older, and I am both angry at her and concerned for the people she mistreats. She now wants to either move to our house or move to another place, neither of which is possible financially or physically. I can't even talk to her about this - she just gets mad! Any thoughts would be helpful.
 

Answers
64px-hh6b80fd52d1
A
An anonymous caregiver answered...

This is a losing battle. If she's elderly with mental impairment, you will not be able to reason with her on this subject. In private, you can explain the legal See also:
Time for Assisted Living
and financial consequences of saying the wrong thing, and it might sink in, but as she loses control of her mental faculties, it will most likely come out anyway. The workers will not like it, and certainly a roommate will not. In some cases, she will be asked to move out of the facility. The other choice will be to drug her senseless so she won't say the wrong thing. If you are lucky, you will find a facility where the workers actually have some experience with the elderly and can put their egos aside and deal with the patient properly, as they are supposed to do anyway. Nothing she says should change their care of her, but it usually will. All you can do is to relax and let her take her lumps as they come. You are not responsible for what she says or does. You will surely drive yourself crazy trying to keep her in control.

 

 
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