Can a power of attorney be revised after a dementia diagnosis?
Answers
It sounds as if you and the other family members have given up in exasperation due to your sister’s actions and inactions—and that is understandable.
However, it may be worthwhile to try to have one family meeting in which you try to reason with your sister, explain that you are all concerned with providing the best care for your mom—and ask whether she needs help in carrying out the serious duties of acting as your mother’s financial agent.
If that approach doesn’t work, and your sister persists in her bad behavior, then she may actually be committing financial elder abuse—and you should take action to stop it at once. Your first stop should be to contact the local Area on Aging.
Representatives there should provide a confidential assessment of your situation and refer you to additional local resources for help if that becomes necessary.
If it becomes necessary to remove your sister as your mother’s agent under the power of attorney for finances, be sure you have someone in mind who is ready and able to take over the job.
If your sister will not respond to a family meeting and you live in the United States, please consider stopping at your local police department. Many states have passed legislation which make your sister's behavior a criminal offense. When I took the POA/ Attorney in Fact (AIF) responsibility for my mother, the family attorney thoroughly explained: my responsibilities to my mother cannot be breached for personal gain or other family members may go to police authorities to protect mom's wealth. They have a responsibility to investigate and present the case to the State's Attorney FOR CRIMINAL CHARGING. I live in Wisconsin, USA, and there are some very helpful elder care laws on the books here specifically designed to protect the elderly from this type of misappropriation (theft). You may want to tell sister dearest that you suspect she is mishandling mom's finances and if she doesn't make good, the rest of the family will seek legal resolve. Lets face it, that's your mom's money and your sister's actions have clearly raised red flags.
